Authors: MICHELLE LEE
FOREVER MINE
His footfalls echo in the dark alley. It stopped raining about an hour ago, not that the girl noticed. The heavy damp air did nothing to ease the heat of the summer night. She is sweating and trying, with little success to slow her heart and breathing. The pungent smell of the dumpster she is seeking shelter behind, is causing a headache to form behind her eyes, and a queasy feeling to form in the pit of her already sick stomach. She knows if she makes a sound, retching or otherwise, he will find her. She knows she can’t let that happen. She knows if she does, she will die.
Sitting and waiting is not something she does well. Taking life by the horns, and wrestling it to the ground is more her style. Well, at least is now. Never again, she told herself, would she be afraid. Yet, here she sits.
Waiting.
Listening.
Cowering.
Frightened of the one man who had fooled her, terrified her, abused her, in every way a woman could be abused by a man, and at one time he…loved her.
She shakes her head and with it she rids herself of the last thought. Thinking of the past, in any positive form will do nothing for her. Those people are dead. The only reason to think of the past is to fuel the hate she has for the man chasing her, and to strengthen all the walls she has constructed around her heart. To make sure no one is ever allowed to be that close again.
The rain has picked back up as she sat, terrified behind the disguising dumpster, contemplating her past life. The man’s running is getting closer. Just when he sounds like he is right on top of her, a blinding light shoots down the alley from the opposite direction. Following the light is a blue and red flashing strobe light. People are yelling and running toward the girl. A policeman turns the corner a spots her, puts his finger to his lips, to shush her, and walks past.
She can’t stand it anymore, and is not waiting around to see what happens. Gathering all of her courage; she stands, peeks her head around the edge of the dumpster, and starts to run down the alley toward the street where she can blend.
Once on the street, fear turns to anger, anger to fury. After everything she has worked so hard for, all the steps she has taken to protect herself, seeing him one time has her hiding like a little bitch. She takes kick boxing, self defense classes, goes to the shooting range. He has no right to have this power over her.
She takes her cell phone out and calls the number she has called every day. He answers on the first ring. “Are you ok? What’s wrong? Where are you?”
She smiles to herself; he is the only one she can be soft around. He is the only one who understands. He has been there since it all started, even before it was bad. “Yeah, I know it’s late, sorry. Can you meet me?”
He sighs. She can picture him running his hands through his black hair, down his face, rubbing his
stubbled
jaw, blue eyes blood shot from lack of sleep. Reluctantly, he says “yeah.”
She holds the tears back, barely, and whispers her thanks.
Worse than usual.
I wonder to myself as I lie in bed what happened and why do I keep letting myself be sucked in. Yeah, I wonder. I have been in love with that girl since 8
th
grade when I moved from a happy loving 2 parent home, to a single parent house. Mom can’t pull it together long enough to say hi, let alone be a mom. Dad, well let’s say he was hard to get a hold of once he convinced his girlfriend at work to leave her family and live with him…somewhere. I walked into class and there she sat in her front row seat, beaming at me with the most open smile I have ever seen in my life. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her.
**********
The teacher said something about catching up on the book we were reading, I only heard half of what was said because I was trying to figure out if the empty seat near her was empty, or just not being used at the moment.
When the teacher finished speaking the girl’s hand shot in the air like it was attached to a rocket. She informed the teacher that I could sit by her since the seat was available and she could help me catch up on the reading. The teacher agreed.
As I walk to my new seat, I can feel all their eyes judging me. I hate it. I feel like I am wearing all of my secrets out in the open, they know about my mom, and for that I feel defensive. She may be having a hard time, but she is my mom and doing her best. I think they know my dad is gone. That somehow we weren’t good enough for him. He has a new life and we don’t fit into it. Just when I think I can’t take it, I need to leave, something touches my arm. I jump a little, and realize it’s her. She is touching my forearm, sliding her hand down to my wrist, and looking at me with absolutely no judgment. My chest aches. I love her for it.
“This seat is empty.” She says to me. It is the best four words I have ever heard.
The rest of the class goes back to what they were doing. She is still waiting for me to get acquainted with my new desk and surroundings. I turn and see she’s smiling again, like she has a secret to tell me. I could die in her smile. It lights her face. I have never seen eyes like she has. They start yellow at the center and fade into a light green, like tree buds in the spring, and then they bleed into the deepest green I have ever seen. The sparkle she has in her eye tells me she is not as sweet as everyone thinks.
I’m settled, finally. It’s hard to fit myself into the chair/desk combo. Last summer I grew.
A lot.
My new height is something I still struggle with. I grew from 5’6” to 6’1” in about 4 months. It hurt, to say the least. “Hi, I’m Brody, Brody Harrison.” I smile and hold my hand out to the girl.
“Is that like Bond, James Bond?” she asks with a laugh.
“What?” I’m starting to sweat. Did I have it all wrong? Is she laughing at me?
“James who?”
I ask nervously.
“I’m kidding!! You are very serious Mr. Harrison.” She winks at me and I laugh it off. I hope my panic wasn’t obvious.
“My name is Charlie James.” She beams at me. “I think my parents had wanted a son and were too lazy to pick a different name for me, but I like it. It’s different, like me.” She shakes the hand I feel like has been extended for a lifetime. Her skin is soft. Her hands are a little cold, I want to warm them. I want to give her everything…