Forever Mine (33 page)

“Oh dear God,” she said in a hushed voice as she sat up to stare down at him.

“Several of us raced back inside. A small group of workers were trapped behind a collapsed wall. We managed to get the wall down to rescue them. We were almost out of the building when I heard more screams crying for help. I ordered Roberts to get everyone out of the building while I went back.”

Nicholas stretched out his hand to touch her cheek. Somehow, touching her made it easier to continue his story. The look of empathy in her gaze said she realized how difficult it was for him to share his story. She bent over his scarred leg one more time to kiss the permanent reminder of his failure before she nestled her sweetly curved body into his side. Nicholas closed his eyes as he continued speaking.

“The child couldn’t have been more than twelve, and he was terrified. There was a small barrier of flames between us, but I couldn’t coax him to run through the fire. If I’d been him, I imagine I’d have had difficulty as well. When he wouldn’t cross through the flames, I decided to go after him.”

Nicholas stopped as the memories flooded his head. The horrific images only intensified his feelings of guilt. He stared up at the ceiling as he waited for the sickening lurch in his stomach to ebb away. Victoria’s hand touched his face, but he didn’t look at her.

“Before I could reach the boy, one of the roof’s trusses crashed down onto my leg and pinned me to the floor. I knew I wouldn’t be able to reach the boy, but I shouted at him to jump through the flames. The boy took one step forward when one of the main support beams crushed him. He was killed instantly. He never had a chance.”

Nicholas barely felt Victoria take his hand and squeeze it. The memory of those last horrible moments continued to play out vividly in his head. The boy’s shrill cry and his own fear as he laid trapped beneath the beam. Victoria pressed her mouth against his shoulder as if understanding he couldn’t continue.

“Roberts rescued you, didn’t he?” she whispered, and he heard the horror in her voice.

“Yes, he and another worker pulled me out of the fire.”

“And that’s where he got those terrible scars on his face.” Victoria’s observation made him shift his concentration to his valet.

“I owe him my life, but if I’d been able to save the boy…” He didn’t finish his sentence knowing that the word
if
was of no value to the child he’d failed to save.

“Don’t,” she said fiercely. “You did what few people are capable of doing. I don’t think I would have had the courage to enter a burning building like that.”

Nicholas studied her lovely features, and the expression of reassurance on her face warmed him. He’d never had a more beautiful or ardent defender. A strange emotion snagged at him. When he tried to define it his brain rejected the idea. The moment he stroked her brow with his fingertips, she stretched her body upward to kiss him. The sweet, tender caress soothed a raw, open wound that had never healed. The depth of emotion sweeping over him alarmed him. What would he do if he ever lost her? He immediately destroyed the thought. He wasn’t going to let that happen. His hand slid across a soft shoulder then down to a bare arm. She lifted her head and stared down at him with an expression he was afraid to identify.

“I understand your guilt and sorrow. The night before my father died we had a terrible argument. I left the house still angry. I never got the chance to say I was sorry.” Grief darkened her beautiful eyes. The pain he saw shimmer in her gaze made him want to reassure her as she had him. “There are some things we’re just not able to do. When I look at your leg I know you did the very best you could. You can’t continue to blame yourself for things that are out of your control.”

“That’s easier said than done, sweet witch.”

“I’m not telling you the guilt will go away. It probably never will, but if you continue to let it possess you, it will eat you alive.”

Nicholas stared into her eyes as he absorbed her words. Was that what he’d been doing all these years? Emotion darkened her blue eyes as she kissed him.

“Make love to me, Nicholas. I need…I need you right now just as much as you need me.

Her voice broke slightly, and he knew she’d been about to say something different. Before he could question her, she pushed him back into the pillows and her lips generated a passionate heat in his body that had become as familiar as the need she always created inside him. He slipped his tongue into her mouth to savor the honeyed taste of her.

There was a sense of urgency to her kiss that blotted out his every thought, except the desire building inside him. An intense, visceral thirst for her crashed through him. His thumb caressed one nipple, and she moaned softly. The sudden shudder rippling through her made him roll her over onto her back. The desire glowing in her blue eyes made his cock harden until it ached for her fiery core to surround it.

Suddenly, he realized how much he needed her—needed to make love to her to soothe his soul. He stretched out his arm and retrieved a French letter from the top of the nightstand. A moment later he sank into her white-hot heat with rapid strokes that intensified as he released some of the anguish he’d felt for so many years in her arms.

The beginnings of her orgasm tightened around him in quick, sharp bursts of pleasure. The spasms heightened the pleasure building inside him. As her spasms gripped him more tightly, he felt a familiar surge in his cock and with a dark roar he throbbed inside her.

Slowly, he lowered his weight on her, unwilling to withdraw from her just yet. She’d said she needed him, but he was certain he needed her more. After a long moment, he rolled to one side and covered his eyes with his arm. The contentment he found in the silence between them made him happy. It was a happiness he’d never expected to find in his marriage. A soft rumbling from Victoria’s stomach made him grin.

“Hungry?” he asked as embarrassment flushed her cheeks, and he laughed. “Get dressed, and I’ll have supper brought up to us.”

“Isn’t getting dressed defeating the purpose?” she said as she slowly rolled onto her side and trailed her fingers across his chest. “I mean you’re just going to take off whatever I put on, right?”

Her fingers stirred a fire inside him as she dragged them down toward his stomach. With a life of its own, his cock stirred as she brushed her fingertips over his growing erection. Nicholas growled with need at her touch.

“You’re deliberately trying to distract me.”

“Is it working?” she murmured in a husky voice.

“Almost, but I’m hungry too.” He chuckled and caught her hand and carried it up to his mouth. He turned her hand over to press a kiss into her wrist. Deliberately, he swirled his tongue across her skin and was rewarded with a gasp of pleasure parting her lips. He released her hand then rolled her onto to her side to swat her bottom before he slid off the bed. At her quiet yelp of surprise, he laughed.

“Actually I think I prefer you naked, but I don’t intend to give Roberts a heart attack when he walks in to find a nude countess in my bedroom.” He winked at her. “However, once supper has been served, the idea of you wearing nothing else tonight is quite appealing.”

Her laughter followed him as he disappeared into the corridor that connected their rooms. A smile still on his face, he tossed his clothes onto the nearest chair as he entered his bedroom. With a tug on the bell cord, Nicholas grabbed his robe from the wardrobe and threw it on over his shoulders. He cinched the belt and caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window.

All he could see was a yawning black hole beyond his image. As he stared into the impenetrable darkness, he remembered the way his heart had sunk when his head groom had sent word Victoria had not returned from her ride. He’d been furious that Yancey had taken so long to notify him that Victoria had gone riding. But he knew all too well how easily Victoria could charm people into allowing her to do as she pleased. God knew he was bewitched by her just as much as the rest of the household.

When he’d learned Victoria had taken Zeus out, his stomach had lurched at the thought that the stallion had thrown her, and she was laying in the dark somewhere gravely injured. It had been a fleeting notion because her skill at riding Mischief had demonstrated her ability to ride Zeus, who was a far less fractious animal. That had left him with only one other fear. Someone had intercepted her.

Fear dried his mouth as he remembered the look on Victoria’s face as he’d pulled her off of Zeus’ back tonight. He’d been furious that she’d not agreed to an escort, and that she’d been so foolish to ride so late in the day. But when he’d stared down at the look of terror on her face, he’d realized whoever had written the notes was an even greater threat to her than he’d realized. He could have lost her tonight. Nicholas dragged in a sharp, harsh breath at the thought. How was it that in such a short time span, Victoria had managed to embed herself so firmly in his life?

It scared the hell out of him. Nicholas clenched his jaw, as he realized he’d passed the point of no return where Victoria was concerned. There would be no retreat if something caused her personality to revert back to the woman he’d married. The price he’d pay would be quite dear if the worst happened.

December 1897

“I
f you would, my lady, could we adjust the drape so that I can see a bit more of your calf,” Lockwood said as he rose to his feet. Nicholas immediately set the paperwork he’d been reading aside.

“Allow me, Lockwood,” he said in voice that silently said he’d not allow the artist anywhere near Victoria in her current state of undress.

Nicholas rose from his seat behind the artist, and the other man immediately sank back down onto the chair with a nod. There was a mischievous look on Victoria’s face as Nicholas approached the lounge she was reclined on in her bedroom. Bending slightly over her leg he adjusted the sheet to an angle he thought would satisfy the artist. He stepped back to allow Lockwood to approve of the change.

“Yes, my lord, that’s perfect. Also if you would please, lower the sheet beneath lady Guildford’s hand a small bit. It should display a bit more…” The artist’s voice trailed off and Victoria laughed.

“I think the word you’re looking for is cleavage.”

Before Victoria could move Nicholas stepped in front of her to block the artist’s view. Amusement made her blue eyes sparkle as she smiled up at him. Her hand moved slightly until one beautiful breast was exposed to him. The air left his lungs then returned in a rush.

“You, sweet witch, are playing with fire,” he whispered hoarsely.

“Perhaps I should help you put it out.” The suggestive note in her softly spoken response made him scowl down at her.

Her smile became a quiet laugh as he tugged the sheet back into place. But not before he deliberately tweaked her nipple. She gasped at his small punishment before a languorous expression swept over her face. Tension locked his muscles into place as he fought the urge to order Lockwood out of the room and make his wife pay for her teasing manner. Instead, he bent his head to nibble at her ear.

“Tonight, I’m going to make you wish you’d not teased me so heartlessly, because I intend to fuck you until you plead for mercy, and then I’ll simply fuck you some more.”

The sharp breath Victoria drew in made him smile, but when her eyes met his, the desire flaring in those blue depths made him suppress a groan. He quickly stepped aside to obtain the artist’s approval on the new position of the sheet. The other man nodded his approval, but it didn’t change Nicholas’ irritable mood. He was ready for this portrait to be finished.

“Thank you, my lord,” Lockwood murmured with a touch of apprehension. “That will do nicely.”

The artist quickly averted his gaze and returned to his work. In several steps, Nicholas was at his chair and picked up his papers. He tried to continue his review of them, but his gaze kept sweeping back to Victoria. Desire still clung to her features as she met his gaze. To his right, Lockwood was dabbing at the canvas with rapid strokes. Nicholas leaned slightly to one side to see the man’s work, and something deep inside him tried to push its way to the surface. He quickly crushed it. Jealously was an unfamiliar sensation and he wasn’t ready to acknowledge the underlying cause.

At least the second portrait was nearly complete. It had been almost two months since Victoria’s return, and he’d never been happier. That is with the exception of these hellish sittings as Lockwood worked on this damn portrait. He’d been a fool to commission this painting, but he’d not expected his feelings to change so radically where Victoria was concerned. Nicholas looked at the canvas on the easel again. Begrudgingly, he had to admit the artist had captured the elusive quality Victoria possessed in this painting as well as her formal portrait. This portrait however, had also captured the beautiful, naked sensuality of his wife. It was an intimate painting that made him resentful of the artist. That the man had translated the raw essence of Victoria to the canvas and made him realize the artist might be in love with her. The knowledge made him feel possessive of his wife in a way he’d never dreamed possible.