Forever Mine (3 page)

She opened her eyes. “You would never believe me.”

“Your father claims you are mentally unstable due to the loss of your brother. I don’t see it, nor do I wish to believe it, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t hiding it. Do you mean to tell me he has cause to say such things? Why would he?”

She clenched her teeth in an effort to keep herself from swinging away and screaming until her mind burst. It was as if her father was trying to erase all that had been by making
her
appear unsound. “Do not let his respectable persona fool you. He thinks he can make everyone forget what I know to be true, but I am about to put him in his place. I will unearth what he really is.”

He was quiet for a moment, as if trying to settle on which question to ask first. “What did he do?”

She hesitated. “I…I can’t say.”

“Would you rather I go ask your father? I have no qualms of getting involved in this.”

Dread seeped into every last inch of her, sensing that he meant it. “If I tell you, will you leave?”

“I will leave if I deem it safe to do so.”

“My safety is assured. You needn’t worry in that.”

“Fine. Then I will leave.
After
you tell me.”

She swallowed and half nodded. Perhaps it was good she was leaving behind a witness. Should anything happen to her whilst she was abroad. “My father was never a respectable sort of man,” she eventually confided. “He associated with many men and women from establishments best unnamed, despite the burden it brought upon my mother’s name and heart. When we all traveled to New York as a family with Nathaniel due to my father’s insistence upon wanting to purchase American land, he had gone on to associate with people he shouldn’t have, as was his nature. He had an acquaintance who nefariously waited outside my brother’s window for almost a week. When my brother and I confronted my father about it, we were assured that the man would desist. That same night, not only did the man desist, but my brother disappeared into the wall and hasn’t been seen since.”

He shifted toward her and echoed, “What do you mean he disappeared into a wall?”

She drew in a shaky breath and let it out. “The New York City Marshals referred to the crime as being a panel heist. Apparently, there were certain buildings built with secret passages before and during the revolution to hide American patriots from the British. One of those passageways happened to be behind the wall of my brother’s bedchamber. It led down into the cellar and out into the street. The authorities couldn’t piece together what had actually happened. Needless to say, when I repeatedly confronted my father, wanting to know more, he demanded I desist in the most violent of ways. I will confess that my mother and I even sustained smacks to the face due to our tongues. My mother has since succumbed to nerves and insisted that I marry to remove me out of his care and out of the house. She doesn’t trust him any more than I do. And like me, she believes that he was in some way responsible for the disappearance of my brother. I don’t know what he had involved himself in, but it wasn’t good.”

“Dearest God,” he whispered. “Why would he… Did the authorities not conduct separate investigations into this matter?”

“Of course they did. Even the crown got involved, given we are of the aristocracy, but nothing ever came of it. My father’s good name appears to have trumped the crime. After all, why would a well-respected peer dispense of his only heir?”

Leaning in, the duke’s hand grazed her arm. “Augustine, I…” That hand slid to her waist, drawing her toward him. “By God.” With his other hand, he pressed her head to the warmth of his solid chest. The simple scent of his laundered clothes made her all the more aware that he was holding her. “I had heard variations of what had happened to your brother, but I never thought your father was in any way responsible or that…” His voice trailed off. “Christ. He hit you?”

“Smacked me. Whenever I tried to speak up about it, yes.” She swallowed and closed her eyes, leaning into him and momentarily drifting away from the burden she had carried these past two years. The feel of his body against hers caused a small, almost exasperated breath to escape her lips as a numbing sense of comfort overtook her for the first time in a long time. He believed her. And that was all that mattered. If anything happened, she knew she could depend on him to step forth.

He slid his arms around her waist, locking her against his muscled body. His hands traced and skimmed her shoulders and back. “I am not leaving you here with him. Not after what you told me. You are coming with me. Tonight.”

Her eyes popped open and she leaned as far from his chest as she could, glancing up at the shadowy outline of his face, which hovered above hers. “I cannot leave with you.”

He leaned in, nudging her head aside to access the curve of her throat. “Why not?” He kissed her throat softly with his lips, his warm breath turning her skin to a prickled mess. “Your father has already consented to our union and your mother wishes for you to be out of his care. This will ensure both.”

“Yes, but, we can’t just—”

“Oh, yes, we can. And oh, yes, we will. I suggest an elopement. A little bit of scandal isn’t going to be the end of you or me.”

She pushed at his chest, trying to free herself from his overpowering presence. “I can’t. I…” Blast it. “I have plans.”

“Plans?”

She winced. “Yes. I should also point out that you aren’t exactly in your right mind, Your Grace, not with the amount of port you’ve had.”

“Leonard. I thought we agreed on Leonard.”

“I want you to leave. I
need
you to leave. Please.”

“I am not leaving without you.” He yanked her back up against him, his hands curving around her waist and molding her more firmly against his body. “To hell with how things are usually done,” he said hoarsely. “If there is one thing I have learned given my position, Augustine, it is this—always trust your instinct. It is usually right. And my instinct is telling me that I shouldn’t leave you behind for eight full weeks in the care of a man responsible for the disappearance of your brother. If your mother doesn’t trust him, why should I? Now listen to me. I want you to inform your lady’s maid to gather all of your gowns and pack a sizable trunk. We can ride straight to Gretna Green and make this legal that way, instead of waiting for a license from the bishop. From there, you will join me on business as my wife.”

“Your wife?”

“My wife.” He dipped toward her throat, his hot tongue sliding down her exposed neck.

She swayed against him, half closing her eyes. She should have pushed him away. She should have told him to leave, but all she could do was stupidly angle her extended throat toward him, wanting to know what it would feel like to be his.

His chest rose and fell all the more notably against hers as he raised his head away from her throat. “Don’t encourage me to do more.” Releasing a slow long breath, his hands slid from her backside up to her shoulders and skimmed down toward the curve of her throat, causing her to close her eyes against that sensual touch. “Gather those gowns. Go.”

This was going to be awkward. He thought he was rescuing her when in fact she was already rescuing herself. “My gowns are already…packed.”

He paused, tightening his hold on her. “Why?”

Slowly opening her eyes, she edged out of his grasp. In some way, she wished she could fully see his face so as to make him understand just how important this journey was to her. “I am leaving to Liverpool. Tonight. Now, actually. Once there, I will be boarding a ship to New York.”

“What?”

“I intend to find my brother,” she calmly carried on. “I have been saving money for my search these past two years and plan to stay however long it takes, until every path has been exhausted on my end. I am only telling you this, Leonard, because I know I can trust you not to stop me. Trusting anyone is a relatively new concept for me, but given how incredible you have proven to be, I feel as if you deserve this measure of truth. I wish things could have been…different between you and me. I really do.”

He drew in a notable breath before hissing it back out. “I have something to tell you, Augustine. Before anything more is said or done.”

She sensed something between them was about to change. She tried not to panic as tears stung her eyes. “Don’t say anything. Please. Just let me leave. I cannot pretend that I could ever lead a normal life as your wife without ever knowing what happened to Nathaniel.”

He grabbed her waist in the darkness, startling her, and yanked her back toward him. “Let me go with you,” he said in a low tone.

She breathlessly looked up at the darkened outline of his face. “What?”

“To go at this alone is to destroy any chance you might have of finding him. You will need money, time, support and above all, protection. I can give you all that and more.”

“Leonard, no. Cease. I am not about to drag you into this.”

“I will not permit you to do this alone. Do you understand? I will
not
.” His fingers dug into her as he pressed her harder against him. The rapid beating of his heart pulsed against her own as the heat of his lips lingered now above hers.

Her heart fluttered. He was going to kiss her.

He leaned toward her ear, instead, and whispered huskily, “Marry me. That is how we settle this. You need me and, damn it all, I need you. Don’t you know that? Have I not made that plain at every turn?”

Even in a state of inebriation he appeared to have complete control over himself and his life, as if he always knew what was best and had faith it was best. There was a clarity there that even she did not possess in her strongest moments. It made her realize she hadn’t quite given this man his due. “If you wish to assist me in finding him,” she whispered, “you will have to wait. For I am not ready to wed. I cannot become a wife given the state of my mind. It wouldn’t be fair to you and it wouldn’t be fair to me.”

He paused. “Is it me you don’t wish to wed?”

“No, it isn’t you,” she insisted. “In fact, I would cherish and forever be indebted to you if you were to join me and give me the comfort and guidance I know I will need. Know that I merely wish to come to you with less of a burden. ’Tis something we both deserve. I need a measure of peace, knowing I have done everything I could to find him before moving on with my life. Before becoming a wife.”

He was quiet for a moment. “If we leave to New York together, Augustine, if we do this outside the sanctity of matrimony, you do realize London will ostracize you for the rest of your life? Even if you and I were never to touch?”

“Yes. I realize that.”

“And what if you do find him? Have you thought of that? You will end up ostracizing your brother from his own new circle, as well. Is that what you want?”

Her throat tightened. She hadn’t even thought of that.

He blew out a breath. “I will need a few days to meet with solicitors and my secretary and ensure everything is in place for us to go to New York. Do you wish to stay here whilst you wait for me to arrange our trip?? Or do you wish to leave with me tonight? Which I prefer.”

Realizing this man was about to follow her into the flames of her own making made loving him irresistible. He was a breath of magnificent air she’d been gasping for. The man had already proven his earlier words about how his devotion would serve to uncomplicate anything and everything. She didn’t feel so scared anymore. She felt as though this was the path she was destined to be on. A path with him on it.

Veering a trembling hand out toward the heat of his shadowed face, she grazed her fingers against his shaven cheek. “I wish to leave with you tonight. Thank you, Leonard. Thank you for—”

“Never thank me for something you deserve.” He grabbed her hand and guided her out of the lower library and into the corridor. “Rouse your mother and have her pack. She will oversee your honor throughout this and our journey to New York.”

She choked, yanking her hand out of his. “Rouse my— No! I thought
we
were doing this.”

“
We
have a name to uphold, Augustine. Nor are we cowards. I don’t expect this to go well, but rest assured, I cannot and will not have you disappearing into the night without your mother even knowing what happened to you. Your father doesn’t deserve a spit of respect in this, but your mother does. She also deserves to see your honor intact. And that is how we will ensure it remains intact. She will go with us to New York and she will remain at our side until we are wed.”

Oh, dear God. This was exactly what she didn’t want to happen! “Leonard! She won’t go. I know she won’t. This has torn her life apart in a way she refuses to relive and I don’t blame her. Which is why we can’t—”

“It is time you trust me. Trust me before you make a bigger
fouillis
of your life than it already is.” He paused. “Now. Have the footmen transfer your trunks into my carriage outside. Once that is done, go to your mother and have her pack and do the same. Tell her she will oversee your honor. Assure her that in time we will wed. That will alleviate any of her immediate concerns. We will deal with that aspect of it later, but right now, I just want you and your mother in my carriage. Wait for me there. I intend to speak to your father. And whatever you do, don’t either of you leave that carriage. Do you understand? Regardless of what happens. My driver is always armed whenever I’m about town, so the safest place for you and your mother to be is in that carriage.” He pointed at her. “I will see you shortly.”

Augustine watched his tall figure veer around the corner and out of sight. Oh, God. What had she done?

What would Nathaniel make of this? I dare not fathom.

-From the diary of Lady Augustine Jane Ascott

“The devil you will!”
the earl boomed, his aging face flaring within the shadows of the candlelight in the entrance hall that lead out of the house. “This is madness. Madness!” Adjusting his Turkish robe, he gestured rigidly toward the open door where his footmen lingered. “Fetch my wife and daughter. Fetch them both at once!”

Leonard jumped toward both footmen, blocking the entrance and pointed at each of them with a clarity no port could sway him from. “My driver is armed, gentlemen. Touch either lady, I will order him to shoot. Do you understand?”

The footmen paused and glanced back at the earl.

Leonard rounded the servants and stared the earl down. “Your wife will return to you in time.
After
she oversees your daughter’s honor.”

The earl slowly stepped back. “What is this? Why are you doing this? I already agreed to see you both married upon your return from Scotland.”

“Sadly, my lord, I am not about to leave her in your care for another night. Not after what she told me. And not given the way you speak of her as if
she
were the one who is unsound. ’Tis obvious who is truly unsound. And she and I will prove it.”

Lord Sumner’s face tightened.

“Whatever foul business led to the disappearance of your son,” Leonard continued, “it ends with me tonight. I will not have her living with this burden and will endeavor to lift that burden at every turn.”

A cool, stone look hardened that face. “You know nothing of what happened.
Nothing
.”

Leonard leaned toward him. “I have heard rumors, my lord, but what I heard from your daughter’s lips tonight is what sickens and astounds me. How do you breathe knowing your son may very well be dead because of your disreputable associations? And how do you breathe knowing that your own daughter will never know peace because of it?”

The earl edged back. “Atwood meant far more to me than you or anyone else will ever know.”

Leonard narrowed his gaze. “Defy what I deem is best and I will ensure this entire affair is made public. I have nothing to lose or hide. Can you say the same? And do you honestly think
anything
I say or do could compare to the disappearance of your own son?”

Tears streaked those gray anger-hardened eyes. “I never—”

“Sumner,” a female voice echoed from behind them.

Leonard jerked toward Lady Sumner who solemnly stood cloaked in a black velvet cape that hid her traveling gown.

Augustine silently stood beside her.

Lady Sumner set her chin and stared the earl down. “I will oversee what is left of her name. Better this than having her disappear into the night on her own, never to be seen again.”

The earl whirled to face her. “Have you lost the last of your mind, Anne? Do you not realize what people will say? They will accuse our daughter of the worst.”

Lady Sumner’s features remained cool and emotionless. “I want her out of this house and out of your care lest something happens. I will say no more.”

Lowering his gaze, the earl swiped a trembling hand across his face. “Go. All of you.
Go!
May I never lay eyes on any of you again!”

Silence enveloped the entrance hall as Augustine led her mother back outside and into the night.

The earl continued to stare toward the open doors where they had disappeared. He eventually turned his gaze to Leonard and rasped, “I will ask a final time that you not perpetuate this. I have already paid for my sins. God will be the judge of them, not you.”

Pointing a rigid finger, Leonard countered, “Do not fear God, my lord. Fear me.”

With that, Leonard swung away and stalked out into the night toward the carriage where Augustine and her mother lingered. He couldn’t save Catherine from the clutches of illness, suffering and death, but he could damn well protect Augustine with his last breath. And he would. He bloody would.

What a mess.

Stripping his robe from his torso and tossing it, Leonard yanked back the linens and was about to flop himself into bed in exasperation when a knock sounded against the paneled door of his bedchamber. He paused and glanced back, his mind still somewhat dazed and clouded. “Yes?”

“Are you awake?” Augustine called out from the other side.

His brows rose. “Is everything all right?”

She was quiet for a moment. “Can I sleep with you tonight? Please?”

He froze and then swiveled toward the door. Striding to it, he swung it open, his pulse thundering. Without meeting her gaze, he blurted, “For God’s sake, your mother is barely a few doors down. What are you trying to do? Burn the last of my name in her eyes whilst making me suffer? I suggest you retire.”

She lingered in the doorway, garbed in a simple, white nightdress, and stared up at him with those beautifully haunting gray eyes. Lopsided strands of silky, midnight hair framed her flushed face as longer curls fell seductively down past her long pale neck and over her covered breasts. “I’m sorry,” she quietly confided, smoothing her hands against the sides of her nightdress. “I kept staring at the panels thinking someone would emerge from them. I went to talk to my mother, but she has a habit of locking her door at night and is already asleep.” Her voice trailed off. “I should go. Shouldn’t I?”

His throat tightened. He blew out a breath and stepped aside. “There is no need for you to sleep alone if you’re not feeling safe. Come. My room is your room.”

“Thank you.” She walked past him, those hips gently swaying and shifting beneath her nightdress which clung to her smooth movements. The achingly sweet smell of crisp lavender which he’d been waiting to bury himself into wafted toward him as she passed.

He closed the door, praying for inner strength and hoped to God he didn’t muff this up by just grabbing for her. “I was just about to get into bed.” As if that wasn’t obvious.

She quickly rounded the bed and hopped up onto it, burying herself within the linen. “Good. So was I.” Nestling herself against the pillow, she turned toward him, her long black hair splayed across not only her pillow, but his. She met his gaze and smiled.

The adoration and blooming, unexpected trust beaming within that face caught his breath and made him realize just how much he missed being loved. “Make yourself at home.”

Her eyes brightened in a way he’d never had the pleasure of seeing. “Oh, I will. I also intend to take all the linen and leave you with none.”

A laugh escaped him. “I have been duly warned.”

Yanking on the sleeves on his nightclothes, he made his way toward the bed and nervously noted the way she continued to watch him. Those inquisitive eyes skimmed his dressed down frame in a manner that pricked his skin with raw awareness. He hadn’t had a woman see him in a state of undress since…
Catherine
. He shoved away the thought.

Settling onto the mattress, he drew the linens up to his chest. How was he going to survive this night? By ignoring her, is how. He grudgingly turned away. “May we celebrate better, happier days than the one we had tonight.”

“Amen.”

“Sleep well.”

“Yes. You, too.”

Just as he was about to lean over the side of the bed and blow out the candle on the nightstand, a small hand came patting its way across the mattress and up his shoulder. She tapped him. “Leonard?”

He paused and glanced back over his shoulder. “Yes?”

“Thank you. For…everything.” She hesitated and added, “You have touched my life so beautifully and unexpectedly, I have yet to comprehend how blessed I am. I didn’t know men like you could exist.”

So much for trying to ignore her. He rolled back toward her and slid himself closer. “It is I who am blessed.” He reached out, his hand wrapping around the warmth of her firm waist and dragged her over toward him. He hovered above her, wishing she would let him kiss her.

She stared up at him with those large gray eyes, her cheeks flushed, her hair as wild and free as his heart wanted to be. “You can kiss me now. The way you wanted to in the garden.”

He drew in a breath, his heart pounding. “You don’t need to feel obligated to let me kiss you.”

“I don’t feel obligated,” she insisted. “I want you to.”

He lowered his gaze to her full lips and hissed out a breath. He had almost forgotten what it was like to kiss a woman. “We shouldn’t. Not in the state I’m in. The port is still going strong.”

She searched his face. “I trust you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. Whatever happens, happens.”

He felt his own face flushing. “Augustine—”

Her hand popped up and hooked itself around his neck, yanking him toward her. “We have already broken every rule there is. I doubt anything we do will make it worse.”

Everything about her was innocence wrapped in odd maturity that enchanted him and his soul. To think that she was finally his was beyond riling. What the devil was he waiting for? To hell with propriety. Matrimony may never again be his, but Augustine
was
his. His to protect, his to love and his to…
kiss
. And God did he ever want to kiss her.

He lowered his gaze to her lips again and sunk his body onto hers, angling his mouth to fit hers. Gently forcing those lips apart, he slid his tongue into the moist warmth of her mouth and slowly deepened his kiss. Her tongue, though at first it hesitated, responded and gave in to him, making him bite back an anguished groan.

She was everything he thought she would be and more.

Her hands slid up his shoulders, past his throat and pushed their way into his hair. He melted against that probing touch and dragged her fully beneath his body, trying not to crush her, but unwilling to let her go. He kissed her harder and dug his fingers into her silken strands, grinding his rigid erection into her thigh, desperately wanting and needing her.

Losing himself to that tongue and to that warmth, his mind blanked and he knew this was far, far more than mere need and lust. This was love. Damn it all, it was love, sweet love.

He deepened their kiss, his chest heaving from the realization that despite his love for her, she might never feel the same. If ever. It was a wretched realization he didn’t want to admit. But he would prove himself to her in time. He would. He would ensure she gasped on the hour knowing it.

Dragging her nightdress slowly up to her waist, he slid his hand between her smooth, soft thighs, parting her legs. He broke their kiss and held her gaze, gently rubbing her nub. “I will cease touching you the moment you tell me to.”

She nodded. Though her eyes questioningly searched his, she silently angled herself and her hips toward him, entrusting herself to him completely.

It was mesmerizing to know that she was placing her life, her pleasure and her happiness in his hands. Tightening his jaw, he ground his hard length against her. He pleasured and pleasured her with his finger until they were both having trouble breathing.

An astonished moan escaped her parted lips as she rocked against his hand.

He kissed her soft lips, encouraging her to give into it more. He kissed her lips again and again while she savagely pressed against his hand, moaning in the silence of the room. Her fingers skimmed his back, making him flick and rub her faster.

She trembled and gasped beneath him.

She was unraveling as fast as he was.

He must have lost the last of his mind to be taking advantage of her like this. He tugged at the scooped neck of her nightdress with the hand that wasn’t fingering her and bared her breasts so he could see them. She was stunning. He licked the nipple closest to him and slid his tongue down, curving the wet tip of his tongue along the soft, rounded slope of her full breast. “I have been wanting you like this ever since we first danced.” He flicked her harder.

She arched her breasts toward him, her lips parting as her eyes closed. A long moan escaped her as she extended her throat against the climax he knew was overtaking her. She trembled against him, gasping, and eventually stilled, her eyes popping back open as if she was only now realizing he was touching her.

Her breasts were still on display, those hardened nipples taunting him into seizing her. He wanted to thrust deep into her and only managed to refrain by reminding himself that she was not only a virgin but had yet to be made his wife.

He jerked up his nightshirt, savagely draping her against his side and used his hand to eliminate the throbbing in his rigid length. His knuckles grazed her skin with each jerking movement of his hand over his cock.

She watched him, her cheeks ablaze, the astonishment visible.

He should have stopped, given her shock and innocence, but his mind had long been drowned by alcohol, lust, want, need and…love. He was no longer alone in the silence of his room pleasuring himself at the thought of her. She was here with him and she was his.

“Augustine,” he whispered, jerking himself faster until pleasure ripped through him. His climax came so fast and overtook him with such riled and unexpected strength, he let out a long groan in disbelief. He moaned, throwing his head back, and gave in to every incredible moment of pleasure.

When the haze of bliss had ebbed, he withdrew his hand, blowing out a ragged breath. He shifted his lower body away from her thigh. “God help me, I tried to resist. I tried.”

Her lips were still parted and moist from his mouth as her eyes followed his. A shaky breath escaped her as she dragged him back into her arms. “That was bliss beyond reason.”

He nuzzled his nose against the softness of her hair, the scent of lavender making him close his eyes. “I prefer to call it love,” he murmured against the tresses of her hair, reopening his eyes.

She shyly dragged her nightdress up, covering her breasts, and smiled, shifting toward him. “You love me?”

“Yes, Auggie. I will admit that I do.”

Her smile faded. She searched his face. “Don’t call me that.”

“What? Auggie?” He dabbed her nose with a finger and smirked. “Why not? It suits you.”

She caught his hand and drew it away, her features tightening. “Only my brother ever called me Auggie. So don’t…don’t call me that.”