Forever. (This. Is. Not. Over. Book 3) (29 page)

Breathe in.

But Marlon is. It’s not because we’re married. It’s not because we have children. I can’t explain why. He just is.

Breathe out.

Marlon is the one.

Me 4:40 pm:
You’re the one.

Hubby 4:40 pm:
I love you, Jasmine. I hate you right now, but I love you.

Me 4:41 pm:
I love you, Marlon and I’m not giving us up.

Hubby 4:41 pm:
Neither am I.

Breathe in.

I will resolve my problems with my best friend, my sister. I’m gonna need her strength soon, I can just feel it. And Dena simply won’t understand. Only Danny and Rena will.

Breathe out.

“Ready?” I snap my head around and see Malcolm standing there, my coat in his hands. He puts it over my shoulders. “Come on. Let’s take that ride.” And then he has a hand on my back, leading me from the side of the house and towards the front. The cameras flash, he smiles and waves. I smile and wave and together we proceed to his Range. Opening the door, he helps me in and then walks around to his side. I get settled in as the cameras continue to flash and he starts the car, rolls the windows down, and cranks the heat up. I look past the reporters and cameras and see the Blair’s font door open. Jacob is standing there, his eyes fixed on me, one hand in his pocket, the other holding onto the Tiffany box. Malcolm takes out his iPod and starts playing around with it. Before long Slick Rick is blaring in the car and the cameras are flashing like crazy.

“What song is that!” I hear reporters screaming. I turn my head from Jacob and look out of the front window and smile. It’s a romantic old school rap song. One of Slick Rick’s best if you ask me: “Teenage Love.” I get settled in the seat and take another deep breath. The first step has already been taken.

I guess Malcolm can take my file out of the bucket of clients he has to help. He’s completed his mission.

I’ll be home for Christmas.

Jasmine

(
tough
.
love
.)

“Spill it
,” Rena says as she leans into the table smiling. Danielle is a little more leery as she sits back in her chair sipping her sparkling water with a dash of cranberry juice, which she asked for in a stemless wine glass. Rena may be interested in the dirt but Danielle, I’m sure, doesn’t want to know. Like Malcolm said, you tell your wife things because you trust her not to tell anyone else. I’m sure she knows all about Malcolm’s and my ride last night. She knows that Jacob was one of my stops. She’s assuming that I’ve slept with him. But I can tell by her face that she doesn’t want me to confirm it.

“Well, last night I was with Malcolm and we went for a ride. We stopped at a few different places
; I’m presuming it was Malcolm’s way of helping me find closure with the past. Trying to get me home for Christmas. One of my stops was with an old flame.” I raise an eyebrow and then take a sip of my martini.

“Ooh … this is getting juicy
,” Rena says, still smiling and leaning into the table. Danielle glances at her quickly and then back at me. She doesn’t want to know.

             
“And I realize that he and I still love each other and—”

             
“You know, we don’t need to know the specifics,” Danielle says quickly.

             
“The hell we don’t!” Rena hollers out.

             
“We don’t.” She looks at Rena. “Jasmine’s pretty modest—always has been. I don’t want to embarrass her by asking for too much information.” Rena steals a look at me then drifts her eyes back to Danielle.

“
Jasmine and her
flame
just had a conversation.” Rena says. Danielle says nothing. “What am I missing here?”

“Nothing
,” Danielle continues before taking a sip of her cranberry sparkling water. “I just want Jasmine to know that she doesn’t need to give us all the seedy details of their declarations of love, if she doesn’t want to.”

“
Seedy details in
declarations of love
? You’re kidding right?” Rena says as she continues to look at Danielle, her eyes narrowing, trying to figure out what’s going on.

Silence.

“Oh, shit,” Rena finally says before looking at me with wide eyes. “Jasmine, did the two of you …” She heaves a big sigh and then takes a long gulp of her rum and coke.

“I feel judged
,” I say. I admit there’s a bit of snootiness in my tone. But let’s keep things in perspective here; I’m talking to Danielle and Rena. Those two are in no position to judge anything I do.

“No, judgment from me
,” Danielle says with her arms raised.

“So why the face?” I snap.

“The face isn’t directed at you. It’s more like a face of disbelief, so don’t get all touchy on me.”

“Oh, because considering you’ve had two husbands, I’d expect you to be a lot more understanding.”

“Jasmine, please don’t make me haul across this table and knock your ass out.”

“Danielle, considering what I’m going through in my personal life right now, I’m not feeling like myself
,” I warn her. “Actually I’m feeling kinda crazy. So, let’s not threaten me with violence because there’s no telling how this will all end up.”

“Yeah, you may be crazy but I’ve been crazy longer. Remember that.”

“Alright, you two,” Rena says.

“I just think it’s odd that she would judge me when that’s one of the things she supposedly hates about me
,” I say before taking a sip of my martini.

“Who’s fucking judging you?” Danielle says as she looks around. “I’m not
. Are you, Rena?”

“Not at all. Just shocked
, that’s all,” Rena says with a shrug. “But such is life.”

“I do hope this is private
,” I say to them both. “I understand that your loyalties lie in a number of different places these days.” I take another sip of my martini.

“Don’t you dare, Jasmine
,” Danielle says. “You’re the reason why our weekly sushi and dive nights are strained, to say the least. You know, it’s funny. Just earlier you seemed really humble and willing to put things aside and now you’re acting like the old Jasmine.”

I roll my eyes and take a deep breath. She’s right. I was willing to put our differences aside earlier and look at me now. I’m starting a tiff with her just because I’m feeling self-conscious. I already knew before I invited Danielle and Rena here that they’re good friends with Winnie and Jacob’s sisters. I knew that they would probably hate to hear that Jacob cheated on Winnie with me. But I had to tell them
. I can’t go and spill naughty secrets to Dena. I love Dena—don’t get me wrong. We’ve been travelling buddies and part of our own Mommy Mafia for years now. She’s the only person I know who understands that feeding your child muesli bars is better than granola. However, I can’t go and tell this secret to Dena. She’s a marriage fanatic; if anyone desecrates it in any way, shape or form, they’re scum. They’re
dead
to her. So, I need Danielle and Rena to listen and not judge. I need to vent to them.

“I’m sorry
,” I say to Danielle. “I’m self-conscious about this, that’s all.”

             
“I get it,” Danielle says. “Because this guy,
whoever he is
,” she takes a sip of her cranberry sparkling water, “surely has a wife who would die for him. A wife who has been on the front lines with him for a while. I know that many people would want to find fault in her, particularly his little fan base of women. They figure that she somehow trapped him into marrying her, but the truth is that it was an arranged marriage … as the story goes. Neither one of them had much of a say so. You have to remember that she was just screwing him while she was in college, just for kicks. Her two friends introduced them … from what I hear. Not like I know the girl personally or anything. Supposedly, he’d fly her into town about once a month. He was just a fun hookup who would put her on the back of his bike and go cruising around town. From what I hear, they just used to hang out, go get hot-dogs on a stick, eat Oreos in his room, sleep together and then he’d fly her back to Boston.”

Oh
really
? Hmm.

“
It wasn’t that deep for her, but their parents made a big deal out of it. Eventually she grew to love him. Eventually they married. From what I hear, eventually he grew to love her. I heard that six years ago, he confessed to cheating on her throughout their marriage. This surprised the hell out of her. Yeah, he had a bad boy rep, but a cheat after he vowed to be faithful to her? She was mystified. But for about six years now, he seemed as though he was on the straight and narrow, which is why this is such a shock to me.

“
Just the other day, I heard that they drove to the harbor, picked up some hotdogs on a stick and ate them by a fire some homeless guy had made. I heard it was romantic. I heard he took out the prenup they signed when they were kids and ceremoniously burned it. They watched it fly away, bits of black paper floating through the air. I heard he did the same with the divorce decree they once had. Rumor has it he said something to the effect of, ‘This is for life, baby.’ And though I’m a cherry blossom in springtime kind of girl, I heard his wife thought it was romantic.” She takes a sip of her sparkling water. “So, it’s odd to hear that he’s in love with another woman.”

Silence. We all three sit at the table in utter silence. Rena’s staring down at her glass, Danielle and I are staring at each other.

              “I shouldn’t have even said anything. I figured this talk would go horribly considering your loyalties lie in a number of places these days,” I say to her before taking a sip of my martini and rolling my eyes. By the time I open them, Danielle’s still staring at me. She and I lock eyes and once again we all sit in silence. But there’s no denying it; Danielle is stewing right now. There’s no way in hell I’m telling Danielle and Rena what exactly happened. Not when Danielle’s little speech had every intention on portraying me as a lovesick fool and Winnie as the unsuspecting and beloved wife.

“I’m sure loving two guys is tough
,” Rena says to break the tension. “But consider the circles they travel in, Jazzy. It’s too close for comfort.”

“I get it. And that’s why I told you two about it. Sometimes a girl needs to be talked down from the ledge before she takes the leap and does something she’ll regret.” I take a nervous sip of my martini.
I look at Danielle and now she looks confused.
Did you or did you not screw him?
I take another nervous sip of my martini.

“That’s what we’re here for
,” Rena says.

Danielle is still stewing, still staring. She’s thinking. I’ve known Danielle long enough to know her thinking face.

“I don’t want to see you ruin your life with Marlon because he’s the perfect guy for you, Jasmine,” Rena says.

“He is
,” Danielle finally says.

             
“This sounds like some advice I’ve given Danielle about Jon,” I say with a small smile and another nervous sip of my martini.

             
“Completely different,” Danielle says. “You didn’t know what you were talking about. Jon was an asshole, still is. Marlon is loyal and would go to hell and back for you.” Her voice is full of conviction.

             
“You think so?”

             
“How could you not?”

             
“I think so too, Jasmine,” Rena says.

             
“That other asshole, the one declaring his goddamn love all the damn time … ” Danielle rolls her eyes, “needs to be taught a fucking lesson.”

             
“Marlon’s the one for you, Jazzy,” Rena says with a smile. “He just is.”             

             
“Yeah,” I say nodding, “this is what I needed.” I reach across the table and grab hold of both of their hands.

             
“Tough love,” Rena says as both she and Danielle give my hands a squeeze.

             
“Whether you want it or not,” Danielle says with a grin.

             
“Thank God for sisters,” I say to them. We all ease our hands away, reach for our glasses and clink them together.

             
“Cheers,” Danielle says. “Here’s to tough love.”