Forever (Time for Love Book 1) (9 page)

Rebecca swallowed the pain that enveloped her.
Give it your all
, she heard her own voice say in her head.

She took a couple of steps toward him. "Zach... you and me... do we still have a chance?"

He was silent for a long second and she couldn't read his expression.

"Time will tell, Bec," he finally said.

She nodded, knowing what that meant. "Goodnight, Zach," she said with a brave smile, then walked out his door.

*****

R
ebecca forced herself to walk calmly, when what she wanted was to run as fast as she could back to her room before she lost control of the tears that threatened to escape. When she got to the lifts, she snuck a look back down the corridor. Why she even tortured herself with this, she didn't know. Of course Zach wasn't standing there. He wasn't watching her. He wanted her gone.

After last night, she thought they'd taken a step forward. Well, tonight, it was two steps back.

She smirked. Two steps back? Hell, from the looks of it, they'd fallen off a cliff, never to find solid ground again.

She got it now. Last night was simply all about sexual attraction for Zach, just like before. Zach had obviously had time to think about what happened, and he'd decided not to lead her on—meaning he had no intentions of ever having a relationship with her again.

She made it back to her room without shedding a tear, but as soon as she let herself in, she gave in to the heavy sadness that saddled her. She let the tears fall quietly as she moved about and got ready for bed, wiping her face every so often.

As she crawled into bed, the tears had dried up, along with the hope that, just until a few minutes ago, had refused to die. There was none of it now. Nothing brings closure faster than being rejected the second time around.

*****

"W
ake up, Bec! We're having breakfast with Magda today, remember?"

Rebecca groaned. The mention of Magda's name immediately brought back memories of last night. But this was her job, and she was a professional.

She got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, not even looking at Sarah. She just wasn't in the mood for anything.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sarah asked, halting her with a hand on her arm.

"He doesn't want me," she whispered.

"What do you mean? He just slept with you the other night and you were all aglow about it."

Rebecca shrugged. "He doesn't want a repeat. He doesn't want to date. He doesn't want me."

"Oh, Bec. I'm so sorry." Sarah put her arms around her, hugging her tight.

The dam broke. While she'd shed tears last night, she hadn't made a single sound. Now she was heaving and sobbing loudly on Sarah's shoulder.

"Shh. It's okay, honey," Sarah soothed. "It just goes to show you the man is a real jerk. He doesn't deserve you anyway."

Rebecca cried for a while, then she let go of Sarah. "Thanks. I'll be okay. The good thing is I have closure now. No more thinking what might have been or what could still be. It's really over and I finally got it."

"That's good. That's something," Sarah said encouragingly.

"Yes," she responded, wiping her face with a tissue and catching a glimpse of her red, puffy eyes in the mirror. "Oh, God. I look a mess."

"Hey, why don't I see Magda alone? I'll tell her you woke up with a migraine."

Rebecca nodded gratefully. "Can I also make up an excuse for tonight? I'm not ready to see Zach again."
Ouch.
Just saying his name hurt.

"No problem," Sarah said. "We'll tell them that after your migraine this morning, you just want to rest as it takes a lot out of you."

"Thank you. At least you can have both Alix and Ron all to yourself tonight," she joked, attempting to lighten up for Sarah.

Sarah laughed. "Alix really missed you last night. He had this big pout on his face and went back to his room muttering what a big jerk Zach was for making you work so late into the night."

"At least someone wants me," Rebecca said with a wistful smile.

"Yes," Sarah said in a strong voice. "And there are plenty of single guys on this ship, including Ron's friends. We've just started this trip. No point locking yourself in this room for weeks because of one man. I'll make sure you have fun."

"Okay," she responded, humouring her friend. "So what happened with you last night?"

"I had drinks with Ron and his friends until about one thirty. I didn't want to stay up past that as I knew we have to see Magda this morning. I don't want to look tired and suffering from hangover in front of our client."

"So... did anyone invite you to go to his room?" Rebecca teased.

Sarah chuckled. "Ron was a bit touchy-feely last night and he'd hinted on it. But I didn't bite. I'm not ready, I guess."

"Good. Don't do anything you'd regret later."

"No. I won't. Anyway, I have to get ready."

"Thanks, Sarah."

"Anytime, honey."

Rebecca went out the balcony and stared at the calm waters. They'd be docking in Brisbane in an hour, which would be perfect. Most passengers were likely to go on shore and do some touristy things on land. She'd stay on board and enjoy one of the pools while they weren't crowded. She had a broken heart to heal. And now that she was certain there would never be a 'Zach and Rebecca' again, nothing was holding her back from moving on.

Z
ach took a deep breath as he reached his grandmother's door, his heart hammering like a teenager picking up a girl for a first date. He knew Rebecca and Sarah were in the room helping Magda get ready for the theatre.

He'd been kicking himself in the head all day over how he'd treated Rebecca last night. He'd hurt her—it had been plain to see—and the knowledge pricked his heart.

He'd almost run after her to hold her in his arms and say he was sorry. Almost. But a thick-skulled moron like him had needed one whole day to get over himself, strip things down to the bare truth and get some semblance of clarity.

He couldn't stay away from Rebecca. That was something he simply couldn't deny or ignore. He'd been acting like a total fool—afraid of the strong feelings he had for her and at the same time afraid of never having her in his life again.

Well, he'd finally made up his mind about something. Since he'd already established he was a total fool, why shouldn't he try to win Rebecca back? Even if she was still having a relationship with that bastard who was cheating on his wife, wouldn't Rebecca prefer to be with a
single
wealthy man than a
married
wealthy man?

Sure, there was the possibility that Rebecca could only be a scheming manipulator. But unless she was an excellent actress, she couldn't have faked her tears the other night, or the surprised hurt in her face when he'd indicated last night that he wasn't interested in pursuing anything with her.

He was willing to gamble on the fact that Rebecca's feelings for him were real. If that were the case, she must really have a damn good reason for being a married man's mistress. Perhaps she needed the money for her grandmother's retirement village? He knew the place wasn't cheap. Whatever her reason, his heart told him it was something he could eventually accept.

Therefore... while he was waiting to get the full facts from Jeff, he could at least take a few small steps toward getting back together. He couldn't go all the way and say those three little words to her—not yet, much as he was bursting to. He had his grandmother and the family's privacy and reputation to protect. If it weren't for those, he wouldn't care about the repercussions and would simply follow his heart.

He sighed. Sometimes, he wished he was just an ordinary man with an ordinary income and an ordinary life.

He knocked on Magda's door, barely able to wait until it opened. Sarah answered, looking pretty in a black dress. But his gaze quickly left her to scan the room for Rebecca.

"Hi Zach. Magda's ready. I'll see you guys inside the theatre," Sarah said, making to leave.

"Okay," was all he could say.

"Hello, dear. You look very handsome," Magda greeted.

"Hi Gran. You look very beautiful," he returned.

"Thank you. Now maybe I can catch the eye of some men who'd want to go dancing with me one of these nights."

"I'll have a dance with you."

"That will be nice, dear. But I don't want to take up too much of your night time. You should be spending it with people your age, not your grandmother."

"I don't mind spending time with you," he said. "You're a cool grandma."

Magda laughed, patting him on the cheek. "You're so sweet, Zachary. You do know that any woman would be so lucky to have you?"

He snickered. "You're biased, Gran. But thank you for your comment. Anyway, where's Rebecca? I thought the two of them were helping you."

"Oh, the poor dear woke up with a migraine. Apparently, she's still recovering from it so she won't be joining us tonight."

Disappointment stabbed at Zach, followed by guilt. Did Rebecca's affliction have something to do with his rebuff last night?

*****

Z
ach fidgeted in his seat, unable to concentrate on the show. He was trying to stay till the end for Magda's sake, but he was worried about Rebecca. He didn't know if she had a real migraine or not, but if Sarah's attempts at ignoring him were anything to go by, he'd say he was the cause of it.

He couldn't wait anymore. He pretended to check his phone and leaned over to Magda. "Gran, I have to make an important phone call."

"Now?" Magda whispered with a frown.

"Yes. I need to go."

Magda sighed in resignation. "Make sure you come back."

Zach smiled and left quietly, ignoring Vicky, who asked where he was going.

*

Z
ach made his way to Rebecca and Sarah's room, hopeful and nervous at the same time. As long as Rebecca didn't shut the door on his face, all would be good.

He knocked and waited. When there was no answer, he knocked louder. Still no answer. Was Rebecca asleep? Was she really not feeling well?

The thought of Rebecca in bed made his body heat up. He rolled his eyes, smiling wryly. If she wasn't feeling well, he wouldn't touch her. Well, maybe he'd kiss her. And hold her. But he wouldn't undress her. Unless she wanted him to. Oh, Lord...

He tapped his foot, wondering what he should do next. If she was sleeping soundly, he didn't want to bother her.

A faint ringing came from inside her room. He recognised it as Rebecca's ring tone—one they'd chosen together months ago. He smiled. She hadn't changed it.

He pressed his ear on the door, listening for signs of movement inside. The phone simply kept ringing and there were no other sounds he could hear.

His heart pounded as worry enveloped him. Was she all right in there?

He banged on her door, calling out her name. Nothing.

He hurried back to the theatre to get Sarah—or her room key. Even if Rebecca had taken medication that knocked her out, surely she would have woken up from his knocks and the ringing phone?

People were milling outside the theatre when he got there. The show must have finished. Damn. How the hell would he find Sarah among all those people?

He spotted his grandmother, then the rest of the group, and he breathed a little sigh of relief. He hastened toward Sarah just as Alix approached her too with a worried frown on his face.

"She's not answering, Sarah," Alix said. "Maybe we should check up on her."

Zach's face darkened. It had been Alix who was trying to call Rebecca. He'd have to tell that man to leave his Bec alone.

"Oh, maybe she's out getting some fresh air," Sarah said. "She did tell me she was going to do that."

"Where?" Alix asked, echoing Zach's question.

"I don't know. Rebecca likes being left alone when she's recovering from her migraine."

"She should have taken her phone with her," Alix said, again saying what was on Zach's mind.

Zach stared at Alix, realising he had another serious rival for Rebecca's affections.

"Zach! There you are," Magda said. "I'm glad you're back. We're all going for some coffee and sweets."

"Sure," Zach answered. "Sarah, would you like to invite Rebecca to join us? Maybe she's feeling better."

"Good idea," Magda agreed. "Why don't you ask her, dear?" she said to Sarah.

"Um, I think she wanted to rest tonight," Sarah said hesitantly.

"I'd like to check up on her," Alix said with determination. "There could be something wrong."

"What could be wrong?" Magda asked, alarmed.

"She's not answering her phone," Alix responded.

"I'll go see how she is," Sarah said. "I'll be back soon."

"I'll go with you," Zach and Alix said at the same time.

"Well, we're all worried about her. Let's all go," Magda said.

*

Z
ach gritted his teeth as the four of them marched to Rebecca and Sarah's room. Seeing another man concerned about Rebecca made him seethe with jealousy.

Sarah opened the door and they all piled in. Rebecca wasn't in the room. Zach went to check the bathroom, and it was empty.

"See?" Sarah said. "She must be out having some fresh air or something. She'd been cooped up in here all day."

"Why'd she leave her phone?" Zach asked, still worried and more than annoyed at Rebecca for leaving her room without a means for them to communicate with her.

"I guess she didn't want to be bothered by anyone," Sarah answered, her voice carrying a slight chill as she looked at him.

"Oh, well, we should let her be," Magda said. "It must be horrible being cooped up in the room all day. Who knows, maybe we'll see her in one of the cafes. Anyway, let's go back to the others."

*****

T
heir group sat at two adjacent tables in one of the coffee shops, which was bustling even well into the night. Magda's friends and their granddaughters were with them, as well as Magda's sister Miriam. But Zach hadn't seen Phillip since their dinner that first night on the ship. Not that he cared.

The four elderly ladies took their seats and Zach sat next to Magda. Vicky quickly sat herself next to him. Opposite them were Alix, Sarah, Ron and Marilyn—who looked absolutely bored.