Forever Together (13 page)

“Dan? Wait for me.”

Kate wheeled herself into the corridor. He
couldn’t look at her without feeling as though she’d let them
down.

She pushed the wheelchair awkwardly toward
him. “I’m still getting the hang of this thing. Are you all right?”
she asked.

He sat in a vinyl chair and watched a nurse
push a cart of medical equipment into another room. They’d spent
more time in the hospital over the last few months than most people
did in a lifetime. He couldn’t blame Kaylee for wanting to go home
or for any of them wanting this nightmare to be over.

Kate stopped in front of him, waiting for him
to say something. He rubbed his hands along his thighs, remembering
things that didn’t seem
important,
but had somehow prepared them for what would come next. “When
Kaylee was a baby she used to throw up a lot. She had reflux and
the poor kid screamed from morning till night. Anna would give her
some medicine then drive for hours trying to get her off to sleep.
Most of the time it worked, but sometimes she just kept going. Tom
used to say she’d make a good opera singer.”

He hadn’t been home much when Kaylee was
little, but each time he’d called, she’d been crying. He didn’t
know how Anna and Tom had managed, but they had. Just like they’d
managed over the last few months. Only this time the stakes were a
lot higher.

Kaylee was dying. Her body was killing itself
and he couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.

“Wait
here.
”
Kate muttered something under her breath as she turned her chair
around and pushed herself toward the elevators.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be back soon.”

He didn’t have the energy or inclination to
follow her. Dan closed his eyes and tried to find something
positive in what was going on. He couldn’t find a thing.

The minutes ticked by. He should go back into
Kaylee’s room, give Anna and Tom a break. See if his niece had lost
some of the stubborn
streak
that
reminded him so much of himself.

He
heard
Toby before he saw him. He was chattering away to Kate, telling her
about something his dad was organizing.

Dan opened his eyes and watched the two of
them move down the corridor. Toby was helping to push the
wheelchair. The pole that held his medicine wasn’t with him. Dan
had only known Toby with his pole and it looked odd to see him
wandering around the hospital without his lifeline. Odd but
good.

Toby was definitely on the mend. He was pale,
but not sickly pale. The black rings under his eyes were still
there, but they weren’t ingrained like soot across his face.

Toby stopped in front of him. His blond head
tilted to one side, staring at Dan for so long that he felt as
though the kid could see into his soul. He lifted his mouth into
what he hoped was a smile. Toby was too young to deal with the crap
he’d buried away.

“I get angry too,” Toby said. “Daddy calls it
our balloon days. It gets bigger and bigger until it pops and
there’s no anger left. All you have to do is close your eyes and
pop your balloon.”

Dan unclenched his hands. “I guess I should
listen to your dad.”

Toby nodded and smiled at Kate’s back. He
pulled his shirt up and his grin got wider. Clipped on a belt
almost too big for his skinny hips, was the police badge Dan had
given him. “I’m on duty,” he said proudly. “Kaylee needs me.
Bye,
Deputy Dan.”

Kate glanced at Dan before pushing her
wheelchair toward the Intensive Care Unit. He didn’t know what she
was up to, but it couldn’t be worse than what was going on in
Kaylee’s room. And if he knew Toby half as well as he thought he
did, Kate might have found the answer to their problems. One of
them, anyway.

By the time Dan made it back to the room,
Toby had pulled himself onto Kaylee’s bed. Kaylee had moved toward
him, fear and longing clouding her eyes.

“…and dad said when you’re better you can
come with us. Your mom and dad could come too.” Toby’s face mask
bobbed with his words, his eyes stayed focused on his friend.

Kaylee looked across at Tom and he nodded.
Relief shone from her face. “Santa might bring us some buckets and
spades to make sandcastles.”

“We’ll be at the beach before Santa gets
here,” Toby said with authority. “I got a voucher from the store.
We could go shopping together. But you need to let Doctor T help
you.”

Kaylee shook her head. “It hurts, Toby.
Everything hurts so bad.”

“Doctor T will help.” He looked across the
room for reassurance. Doctor T nodded and Toby smiled. “See…it’s
going to be okay.”

Doctor T moved to the end of Kaylee’s bed.
“How about I ask Nurse Julie to bring in the blood Kate has given
you? Toby can stay beside you when we attach the line to your
catheter.”

Kaylee stared at Doctor T, then looked at
Toby.

“You can hold onto my police badge,” Toby
said. “I’ll look after you.”

“Okay.” Kaylee sighed and reached for the
badge he held out. She hugged it to her chest and made more room
for Toby on the bed.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes,” Doctor T
said. As he walked past
Kate
he
squeezed her shoulder, a look of gratitude softening the strain on
his face.

Anna glanced at her husband. There was
relief
, fear and so much love in
the silent exchange that Dan felt more alone than ever. They were
exhausted, but they had each other.

Dan looked across at Anna and Tom. “Kate and
I can stay here. Do you want to go and get a coffee?”

Anna shook her head. “We want to be here when
Kaylee has the transplant.”

Kate moved further into the room. “There’s a
coffee machine in the family room. It’s not as good as the hospital
cafeteria, but it’s better than nothing.”

“Come on, Anna,” Tom said gently. “It’s only
down the corridor. Dan and Kate will let us know when Doctor T is
ready.”

Anna looked at Kaylee. Toby was showing her
his wallet, the two of them wrapped up in their own world. She
stood and held her hand out to Tom. “Let’s go, Mr. Jennings. You
can make me a coffee and buy me a cookie from the vending
machine.”

Tom smiled and held his wife’s hand. They
left the room and everything seemed bigger, harder and
more real
than ever.

Dan didn’t know what to say to Kate, so he
said nothing. She seemed content to watch Kaylee and Toby. As
content as anyone could be with two kids who’d been through hell
and back.

Time slowed down. Toby kept up a quiet
monolog
, telling Kaylee about his
action hero toys and the crimes he’d been fighting from his
hospital bed. Kaylee was almost asleep. Her
eyes
closed and Dan kept a careful eye on the machines
beside her, watching the numbers on the heart monitor.

Nurse Julie entered the room first, followed
by Doctor T, Anna, and Tom.

“We’re ready for the transplant. It’s a
simple process of hooking the bag of Kate’s stem cells up to
Kaylee’s catheter,” Doctor T said quietly. He rubbed Kaylee’s arm.
“I’m just going to move you pajama top a little bit, Kaylee.”

Kaylee murmured something and Doctor T
frowned. “It’s okay, go back to sleep. We’ll look after you.”

Toby started to move. Doctor T shook his
head. “You’re okay there, Toby. Kaylee’s nearly asleep, but she’d
still like you to stay with her.”

Toby nodded and watched Kaylee’s face resting
against her pillows. “She’s my friend, Doctor T.” His bottom lip
trembled and his eyes filled with tears.

Doctor T’s hands stilled. “I know, Toby. I’ll
do my best to make her better.” He took a deep breath, then looked
at Julie. “Are you ready?”

She nodded and lifted the bag holding Kate’s
stem cells onto the pole beside Kaylee’s bed. Within
minutes,
she’d connected a long narrow tube to
the catheter.

“Here we go.” Doctor T turned a small valve
and the red stem cells started moving from the plastic bag to
Kaylee’s chest.

“The stem cells will empty fairly quickly
into Kaylee’s bloodstream,” Doctor T said. “Julie will replace it
with another one when it’s finished.”

“Is that all you do?” Kate asked.

“Kaylee’s body will do the rest,” Doctor T
said. “You’re a perfect match for your sister. All we can do now is
wait and see what happens over the next few weeks.”

Dan watched Kaylee’s last chance of life flow
into her body. He’d never been much for religion, hadn’t needed the
comfort Anna found in God. But today he prayed. He prayed so hard
that he imagined the words crashing through the gates of heaven. He
wanted Kaylee to be well, to be able to walk away from the hospital
and live a normal life. He wanted her to live.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Kate closed her eyes and tried to remember what Lily
had looked like before HLH had taken hold of her body. She had
photos, lots of them tucked away in albums, but most of them had
been taken after she got sick. When they
knew
time was running out.

What she wanted more than anything was to see
Lily as she used to be. A happy, smiling toddler who’d laughed at
rainbows and cried
over grazed
knees and broken toys.

She heard Lily’s laugh, but the images in her
mind weren’t new or real. They were recreations of the photos she’d
taken, moments in time she’d never share with her sister again. She
felt guilty for not being able to remember individual days, for
forgetting the feel of her sister in her arms or the softness of
her hair.

And sometimes, when she was tired or feeling
sorry for herself, she’d wonder about the reason she was alive,
what difference her life would make in the grand scheme of world
history. The space Lily had taken in their physical world had
disappeared and no one, except Kate and her mom, felt the loss of
that space so strongly. Life moved on and so did memories.

“How are you feeling?”

Kate opened her eyes. Tom stood in the
doorway of her hospital room. “I’m okay. My hip’s a bit sore, but
everything else is fine.”

Her dad nodded, but the frown on his face
told her he was worried. “This is for you.” He held a backpack in
the air, then put it on the floor against the wall. “Doctor T said
you were staying overnight. Anna asked Dan to get some of your
clothes from the ranch.”

Kate wasn’t sure about Dan rifling through
her clothes, but she was thankful he’d brought them
to
the hospital.

“Kaylee’s still asleep.”

Kate nodded and waited. Tom walked into the
room and sat on a chair. He had something on his mind, something
she hoped had nothing to do with Lily. Dan had promised he wouldn’t
say anything. All she could do was wait to see if he’d kept his
word.

“Anna and I are staying in Dan’s apartment
for the next few days. We want to be close to Kaylee.”

He didn’t need to say, “in case anything
happens.” Kate knew the next few weeks were important for Kaylee.
The high doses of chemotherapy she’d been given had wiped out all
of her white blood cells. Without them, Kaylee’s body wouldn’t be
able to fight any infection. She needed to be kept healthy and
well. If she got
sick,
the results
could be devastating.

“Our neighbor’s going to look after our
cattle when I’m not there. Dan’s offered to look after the other
animals. But before we accept his offer, I want to make sure you’re
comfortable with him living in the house with you.”

Kate couldn’t think of anything more
uncomfortable. What was happening between them was complicated. But
Anna and her dad needed to be close to Kaylee. “We’ll be fine.
We’re gone most of the day. We’ll only see each other in the
morning and in the evening.” And she knew how well their last
morning together had gone. Mr. Grumpy Bones hadn’t made an
appearance until after he’d kissed her
senseless
.

“Good.” Tom sat silently in the chair,
staring at the edge of the bed.

“How are you doing, dad?”

Tom lifted his startled gaze to her face.
“That’s the first time you’ve called me dad.”

Kate was embarrassed knowing he was right. “I
guess it slipped out.” She returned his smile and her heart felt
lighter.

Tom sat back in his chair, his smile slipping
into despair. “I’m worried about Kaylee.”

Kate couldn’t tell her dad that Kaylee would
be all
right,
because she didn’t
know what would happen. She glanced down at his jeans and saw
something green poking out from his pocket.

“Is that the tie you wore the other
night?”

Tom looked down. He pulled the tie out and a
sad smile touched his face. “Do you remember this?”

Kate stared at the bright green material. “It
reminds me of leprechauns and pots of gold.”

Tom’s smile was fuller, happier than she’d
seen in all the time she’d been in Bozeman. “You gave me this tie
for Christmas when you were Kaylee’s age. Every night you wanted to
hear a different story about leprechauns.”

“I used to sit on your knee.” Kate frowned at
the fragments of memories piecing themselves together. Her dad had
made her laugh. She could have listened to him for hours, sitting
on his lap with his arms wrapped around her. Keeping her safe.

“You wore it to the hospital when I first
arrived. With your suit.”

An embarrassed flush warmed Tom’s cheeks.
“I’m not much of a suit person, but it had been so long since I’d
seen you that I wanted to look my best.” He glanced at the tie.
“It’s my good luck charm. It reminds me of you.”

“Oh, dad.” Tears filled Kate’s eyes. She
pushed her blankets off and held her breath as a sharp stab of pain
shot through her body.

“Don’t move.” Tom stood up and reached for
her blankets. “What do you need?”