Forever Too Far (20 page)

his tee shirt and jerked his face down to mine.

“Be glad I don’t have my gun because right now I’m considering the different ways I can get you to

shut up. Let me scream and back off,” I snapped at him and grabbed my stomach as another

contraction hit.

“Time to check you again,” the bubbly nurse with bright red hair pulled back in pigtails said as she

all but bounced into the room. She needed to be glad I didn’t have my gun too. Because she’d be next

on my list.

I closed my eyes hoping I didn’t have a contraction while she was down there because I might kick

her in the face.

“Oh! We’re sitting on ten and ready to roll. Let me get the doctor in here. Don’t push,” she told me yet again. I’d been told not to push for the past hour. All my body wanted to do was push. The doctor

needed to hurry his ass up.

Rush was being abnormally silent. I glanced up at him and his face reminded me of a little boy’s at

the moment. He looked scared and nervous. I felt bad for yelling at him but the feeling didn’t last

when another contraction hit me and this time it was worse. I hadn’t realized it could get worse.

The balding doctor walked in and beamed at me like this was a good thing. “Time to get that little guy

out of there and into the world.” He sounded as jolly as my nurse. Bastard.

“You can either come down here and watch, as long as you aren’t queasy or you can stay up there

with her while she pushes,” the doctor told Rush.

Rush stepped up to my head and reached down and took my hand in his. “I’ll stay with her,” he said

and squeezed my hand gently.

The encouragement made me want to cry. He’d been trying so hard to make things easier on me and I

had threatened to shoot him. I was an awful wife. I sniffed and he was instantly beside me. “Don’t

cry. It’s okay. You can do this,” he said, looking determined and ready to go into battle.

“I was mean. I’m sorry,” I choked out.

He grinned and kissed my head. “You’re in a helluva lot of pain and if it makes you feel better to hit

me I’d let you at me.”

I wanted to kiss him but then another contraction hit me.

“Push!” the doctor ordered and I did as I was told.

Several curse words and pushes later I heard the most beautiful sound in the world. A cry. My baby’s

cry.

He was perfect. I counted all ten toes and fingers while Blaire kissed each one. He was also so damn

tiny. I hadn’t realized babies were so little.

“We have to decide on a name now,” Blaire said, looking up at me after she finally managed to get

our son to latch on and nurse.

We had thrown around several ideas over the past three months but nothing had seemed right. Blaire

had said it was hard to name someone you’d never seen so we agreed to wait until he was born to

name him.

“I know. We’ve seen him now. We need to give him a name. What are you thinking?” I asked her

hoping to God she didn’t suggest Abraham Dean again. I loved my dad but I wasn’t naming my kid

after him.

“I think he looks like a Colton,” she said, smiling down at him. I wasn’t a fan of that name.

“You still against River?” I asked.

She smiled up at me. “I want to put Rush in his name but if we name him River we can’t. River Rush

or Rush River sounds silly.”

I’d forgotten she was trying to use my name too. I wasn’t going to argue with her. I liked the idea of

my son having my name. “What about Cash? Cash Rush!” I teased and she bit down on her lip to keep

from giggling and scaring him.

“What about Nathan we could call him Nate?” she asked. He stopped sucking and let go to look up at

her as if she’d called his name. I guess we’d come to a decision.

“Nathan Rush Finlay has a good ring to it,” I agreed.

She beamed up at me happily and bent her head down to kiss his nose. “Hello Nate. Welcome to the

world.”

I wanted to hold him but he looked like he had decided to go to sleep instead of socializing. Blaire

lifted him up and laid him on her shoulder and patted his back softly. I stood there and watched in

amazement. This was mine. My family. And they were perfect.

When Blaire was satisfied with her attempt at burping him she wrapped him up tightly in his blanket

and looked over at me. “It’s your turn, Daddy. I need to rest. My eyes feel heavy.”

I reached for him and took my son from his mother’s arms. Holding him up close against my chest I

inhaled his sweet baby smell. “Come on little guy. Let’s go get comfortable over there and see if we

can’t find some basketball to watch on television.”

Nate slept contentedly in my arms and Blaire had gone to sleep pretty quickly after she handed him

over to me. I could stay in this room with these two like this forever. Just having them close to me and knowing they were safe made everything okay.

A soft knock at the door broke into my thoughts. I turned to see the door ease open and several blue

balloons enter before I saw Bethy’s head behind them. She’d stayed out as long as she could.

“Okay, Dad, I realize you’re enjoying yourself but you have to share. Both grandfathers are in the

waiting room waiting patiently,” she whispered after glancing over to see Blaire sleeping.

“I don’t want to disturb Blaire. She’s exhausted. I’ll bring the baby to the nursery window. Have

everyone meet me there.”

Bethy looked over at the baby longingly. I knew she wanted to hold him but I wasn’t ready yet. I

wasn’t so sure she wouldn’t drop him. I wasn’t so sure I could trust anyone to hold him. Snuggling

him closer against me I wondered how the hell I was supposed to just let people come to my house

and hold my kid.

“The nurse said y’all named him Nathan Rush. I like it,” she said.

“We’re gonna call him Nate.”

She nodded and then headed back out to tell everyone where to go. I didn’t mind showing them Nate

through the safety of a window but I wasn’t going to let them all breathe on him and touch him. Too

many germs. He was too little for that shit. He needed some more meat on him before he had to deal

with germs.

I stepped into the nursery and checked in with a nurse. I explained that I was there to show the baby to family members through the glass. When she turned and saw Dean standing at the window her mouth

dropped open.

“Ohmygod. The Finlay baby is related to Dean Finlay? Slacker Demon’s
Dean Finlay
?”

I nodded. “Yeah. It’s his grandson and I really need to show Nate here to his grandfather.”

She hurried to make a path for me and followed me to the window so she could gape at my dad. Dean,

however, was completely focused on Nate. He held up his thumb and winked at me. Abe had tears in

his eyes and nodded his head. Grant was right there beside my dad grinning at Nate. Bethy was was

gushing over my boy and Jace was nodding his head in agreement.

Jimmy pushed his way through the crowd to get a look at him and put his hand on his hips and beamed

at Nate. Then he looked at me and gave me the nod of approval. This was our extended family. We

might not have siblings or mothers here with us but we had people who loved us and who would love

Nate.

“Do you think I could get Dean’s autograph?” the nurse asked from beside me.

“Go on out there and ask him. You’re catching him in a really good mood,” I told her before turning

and taking Nate back to his momma.

I needed to get out of the house. Rush didn’t want me taking Nate anywhere and since I was Nate’s

walking food source then we couldn’t be separated long. He still refused to take a bottle. I had tried

pumping and feeding him but it wasn’t working. He just wanted me. Which was sweet but his daddy

was so dang overprotective he got pissy if people came over and wanted to hold him.

I was worried that by the time my six weeks were up and it was okay for us to have sex again he was

going to be impossible to live with. I needed to do something to take the edge off or he was going to

explode.

The first week staying home was easy. I was tired and Nate didn’t sleep a lot at night so I wasn’t

physically able to go out during the day. I had felt bad about not going to Mr. Kerrington’s funeral.

Woods was my friend and I hated that he’d lost his father so unexpectedly. Rush assured me that

Woods would be fine after I burst into tears once I heard the news. I didn’t know Mr. Kerrington so

my only excuse for crying was that I was having hormonal issues called the baby blues. Or at least

that is what my doctor told me.

The uncontrollable need to cry went away the day I was able to fasten my pre-baby jeans with no

problem. I had gone into Nate’s room and rocked him for an hour while he slept which was something

his pediatrician had told me not to do. It would spoil him. It was just so hard at times. I wanted to

remember these days. He would be running around the house soon enough.

When Nate turned a month old I put my foot down and told Rush it was time we went somewhere with

him. Rush agreed that he had to get over it and we spent over an hour getting all his supplies together

just to go eat dinner at the club. By the time we got home I was so tired I figured that maybe it wasn’t worth it. We could just stay home until he was weaned. Then at that thought I promptly burst into tears

because I was an awful mother.

Rush took Nate and put him to bed for me while I went to get a shower. I was behind on sleep. I

needed to stop nursing Nate at night like his pediatrician suggested but I’d been weak and kept giving

in. I had to stop it.

I stepped out of the shower and stood in front of the mirror. My hips were wider now. I was positive

they would always be like this. I was wearing all my pre pregnancy clothes but I didn’t look like I

used to look. My body was a mom body now.

“Damn. I’ve been trying not to look at you naked because I’m trying real hard not to resort to taking

matters into my own hands but fuck... you’re gorgeous.”

Hearing the desire in his voice did wonders for my self-esteem. I wanted to feel sexy again. I wanted

sex again. We had two more weeks until my doctor’s appointment. I wasn’t sure I could last that long.

I turned around and walked over to him. Sex might be off limits but me making sure my man was

happy wasn’t. I leaned up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his and then bit down on his bottom

lip. I was tired of being sweet and romantic. I wanted to be bad.

I pulled his shirt off and kissed down his chest smiling to myself as his breath hitched and he grabbed

a hold of my hair. I unsnapped his jeans and pushed them down around his ankles along with his

boxers. His erection stood out proudly and my mouth watered. He was so gorgeous. Even this part of

him was a turn on. Slipping one hand around the base of his cock I slid the tip into my mouth and

pressed it in until the head hit the back of my throat.

“
Holy fucking shit
, Blaire,” Rush groaned, falling against the doorframe for support. He buried both his hands in my hair and held me there. I pulled back letting his cock spring free of my mouth with a

pop and then teased the head with my tongue. His curses and moans only made me hotter.

“Suck it, please God, baby, suck it deep again,” he begged, pushing my head down over him until the

head once again slid into my throat. I gagged and enjoyed the groan of pleasure coming from Rush. He

was enjoying hearing me gag. I was turning myself on.

I dropped my hand to slip between my legs and let Rush control how much of his cock went into my

mouth with his grip on my hair. “Fucking hell, are you touching yourself?” he asked, panting as he

pulled back out of my mouth.

I stuck my tongue out and let his head slide off it before nodding. Then I opened my mouth wide and

stared up at him while he directed it back into my mouth. “I want to play with that pussy,” Rush

growled. “Don’t come.”

I was very close to coming so I wasn’t sure I could promise him that. He began moving in and out of

my mouth faster. His breathing quickened and his cursing got worse. I was about to explode.

“I need to come,” he said, pulling out of my mouth and I grabbed the backs of his thighs and held him

there inside my mouth. “Blaire, baby, I’m gonna fucking come in your mouth if you don’t let me go.”

I sucked down hard on him and pumped him in and out of my mouth. I felt him tighten in against my

tongue and both of his hands grabbed the back of my head. I heard the roar building inside him just

before the first warm burst hit the back of my throat.

“Holy
shit
, baby. Suck it, take it... yeah, take it...
motherfucker
that’s incredible,” he chanted as his body jerked under my hands and mouth.

My thighs were soaked from my excitement. I started to slip a hand down there again when Rush

pulled me off his cock and picked me up and carried me to the bed and threw me down on it. I knew

we weren’t supposed to have sex yet but right now I didn’t really care. I felt healed down there.

Nothing felt different.

Rush pushed my legs apart and then his head lowered and his tongue darted out to lick the wetness on

the inside of my legs. I trembled, as he got closer to my heat. “I’m gonna eat this sweet pussy until

you’re begging me to stop,” he threatened just before he slid his tongue between my folds and then

flicked his piercing over my clit. I loved the way he did that. It had been awhile. I grabbed at his hair and held him over my clit. He chuckled and the vibration made me cry out in pleasure.