Forever's Promises (Forever In Luck Series Book 1) (15 page)

He
could finally breathe. Lying there, breathing, he slowly calmed, soaking in the
ambiance. She had a light fragrance to her skin.

“Your
earliest memories are of this, being swaddled and held close, being skin to
skin. A lot of studies have been done on this, and it’s shown to help stabilize
the heart rate and blood pressure, breathing is improved, blood sugar levels
elevate, and it simply fosters a sense of contentment. If this helps you, we
can do this any time. Listen to my heart beat, and know you’re safe.”

He
didn’t know if it was the milk, the pills, the swaddling, or her, but it was
all good. He felt like closing his eyes. “Linnie?”

“Hmmm?”
she answered, while continuing her nurturing.

“I
love you.”

**********

Coming
into his office, Doris informed him he had a delivery and needed to sign for a
registered document. It was here. Grabbing a pen, he got up from his desk, and
went out front. Taking the envelope, he headed to his father’s office. Sitting
down, he felt a little shaky.

“That
it?” his dad asked.

“It
looks like it,” Nate nodded, staring at the envelope.

“Open
it then.”

Feeling
sick, he handed it to his dad. “You do it.”

Tearing
it open, his dad removed the document inside. Scanning it over, he passed it on
to Nate. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it. His heart thumped and his
palms grew sweaty.

“Go
on, look,” his dad said. “You need to see.”

Swallowing
hard, Nate looked down. His breath whooshed out of him, and his vision blurred.
Mikey was not his. A tremble went through him, and he rubbed his eyes. Finally,
it was over, the questions, the confusion, the stress, over.

“Good
news, son. It’s as you said. We should celebrate. Why don’t we all get
together, meet up at the Bon Ton a little later? Get Linnie, her family, and
we’ll all celebrate, have dinner and a few drinks, relax, my treat. What do you
think?”

He’d
imagined this moment often, thought he’d be jumping for joy, elated beyond
belief, but all he felt was the emptiness that followed a letdown, a kind of
disappointment for all that had happened. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Thanks. I
appreciate it,” he said without much conviction.

“Not
a problem, I’m happy to do it. Why don’t you take off a few hours early? Kick
back, and relax a little.”

He
thought about it. “Where’s mom?”

“At
the library, she’s volunteering today.”

Leaning
back, Nate took a deep breath. “I’m going to go over and see her, let her know,
then head to the farm.”

“Sounds
good, let’s meet up about six-thirty or seven?”

“That
should work. They’ll be done milking by then, and back in the house. I’ll call
if there’s a problem.”

Heading
out the door, Nate drove the few blocks to the library. Walking in, he was
greeted by Marion. He immediately smiled, remembering a time long ago, when as
little kids they teased her by calling her Marion the librarian. She smiled
back in greeting.

“Hey,
Nate, look at you! You look wonderful. Your Mom is thrilled your home. You
looking for her?”

“Yeah,
she here?”

“Sure
is, she’ll be out in a few minutes. She’s finishing up story time.” The phone
rang. Picking it up, she motioned to a closed door.

Walking
to the door, Nate could hardly see anything through the thin, narrow window.
Stepping back, he leaned against the wall and thought of last night. Linnie,
she just knocked him out, knew exactly what he needed, comfort and safety.
Hell, he couldn’t have told anyone what he needed, couldn’t recognize his needs
through the panic, but she’d been able to. All he could’ve said was he just
wanted it to stop. She’d made what was an embarrassing, unmanly situation, normal.
Just then the closed door opened, young children and parents began streaming
out. Naomi appeared with Mikey in hand. Stopping, she looked his way, then
walked towards him.

“I
don’t suppose you’re looking for us, are you?” she said, more than asked.

He
shook his head no.

“We
need to talk,” she said, her voice sharp, “or I’m getting an attorney.”

Pulling
out the envelope, he answered her, “He’s not mine, Naomi.”

Looking
at him like he was speaking another language, she said, “What?”

“He’s
not mine.” Pulling out the document, he handed it to her. As she looked at it,
he felt a little pat on his leg. Looking down, he saw Mikey looking up at him
innocently.

“Daddy?”

Nate’s
heart snapped in two. This was not his child, but he had been for five years.
Linnie's words came to him, “
He’s a
child, innocent in all this. He’s deserving of a mother and a father.”
He
knelt down, putting an arm around the little guy. “No Mikey, I’m not your
daddy, but if I had a little boy, you’d be a nice one to have.”

Mikey
nodded his head, not really understanding. “Mommy says I’m a good boy.”

“She’s
right, you are a good boy,” he answered, patting his back. Quickly becoming distracted
by the children in the play area, Mikey headed that direction.

“Nate?”

Looking
up, he saw tears on Naomi’s face. Standing, he looked down, taking the document
she held out.

“I’m
sorry,” she started. “I don’t know what happened. I thought it was you,
because, well, I’d bled a few weeks before. I guess, well, I thought it was my
period. I didn’t know that women could still menstruate when first pregnant.
I’d gone to prom with Erik, then we went to his house to party, and I had a
couple drinks. Some other couples came, so I thought it would be okay. The next
thing I know, its morning, and I figured I must’ve had too much to drink and
passed out. I worried and wondered, but then I bled and I…well, the next month when
I found out I was pregnant, I thought it was from the night you and I were on
the couch, and yet, I have no recollection of having had sex either time. I’m sorry
for what I’ve done.” She started crying again, then quickly went over and took
Mikey by the hand, leaving the library in a rush.

“Oh
boy, I better make a few calls, make sure she has people there to help her
through this,” his mother said, having heard it all.

He’d
always thought he’d yell, holler, and tell Naomi off using every nasty word in
the book, but the words wouldn’t come to him. Numb, he walked over to the
window, watching as Mikey slipped and Naomi stumbled along the icy walk.

He
couldn’t help but think that all he’d felt, the shame, embarrassment,
condemnation, guilt, and then some, hadn’t gone away, it’d just shifted from
him to Naomi. If he hadn’t experienced what she had, the drugging, the loss of
consciousness and time, the uncertainty of what had happened, he didn’t know if
he’d have understood it. But he had, and he couldn’t get over the realization
that she’d been vulnerable, and taken advantage of, and as a result, was now
holding the little hand of the dire consequences of choices made, and would be
for the rest of her life.

“Nate,
you okay?” his mother asked, putting her arm around him, rubbing his back.

 
“I need a drink. Dad’s treating us all to the
Bon Ton tonight to celebrate. Can you call Linnie and let them all know?” Then,
without waiting for an answer, he walked out.

Nate
was four shots in when Jake sat on the barstool next to him.

“Hey,”
Jake said, signaling for a beer.

Nodding
in acknowledgement, he took a drink of his beer, and then focused on the TV.
They sat in relative silence for some time, before Jake rapped him on the shoulder.

“Pick
a table, dining or pool.”

“Neither.”

“Pick,”
Jake pushed.

“Patio,”
he answered.

Jake
nodded. “That works.”

Taking
their beers, they headed out the side door and pulled out some chairs, dusted
off the snow, and sat looking off in the distance. The sun was out and it felt
warm, but the air was cold.

“We
should have ice soon,” Jake said, trying to start a conversation.

He
nodded.

Silence.

“Bonfire
would be good,” Jake continued, trying again.

He
nodded.

Silence.

“Been
thinking of football playoffs my senior year,” Jake said, then took a swig of
his beer.

Well
now, that kind of got his attention. Looking over at his friend, he waited for
him to continue.

“Coach
K.,” Jake chuckled, while shaking his head some, “he whooped ass, just ran us
into the ground. He’s still there, you know? Hasn’t changed a bit, still
whoopin ass.”

Looking
at each other, they couldn’t help but laugh. “Man, I couldn’t wait for football
season,” Nate said. “He was such a hard ass, and still, we couldn’t wait to get
our names on that list.” Taking a drink of his beer, he smiled, fondly thinking
of the past.

“Hey,”
Jake said, smacking him on the arm. “Remember, our first tryouts, when the
senior guys had us convinced the K stood for killer?” Falling back in their
chairs, they both busted out laughing.

“Yeah,
and we fell for it hook, line, and sinker. All, ‘Really? No way!’ and then Taz
saying, ‘What? You two think the K stands for cute or somethin?’ The whole
locker room busted out laughing, only to have Bonds call him an idiot and say,
‘Everyone knows that cute starts with a Q.’ We were all howling, yucking it up,
and you and I agreed, from then on, we’d always wear our helmets.” Continuing
to laughing, they got lost in the memory. “Those were good times,” Nate
reflected after a few minutes.

“Yeah,
they were.” Jake reached over and clapped him on the shoulder, giving it a
shake.

So
much had happened, in such a short amount of time, and Nate couldn’t help but
feel old, really, really old. “It feels like it was a billion years ago, not
six.”

“Talk
to me.”

“I
hurt her.”

“As
Linnie was as good as gold when I left, I assume you mean Naomi?” Jake fished.

“Yep.
I never told you this, but the night of the party, I’d only had one drink.
Someone drugged us. I’ve been so angry about this whole damn thing, that I
never looked beyond myself. I figured I’d clear my name, and it would be done
and over with, but it’s not, not for her. She’s going through it all again,
except now she knows she wasn’t passed out drunk. She was drugged, and raped,
and the assumption is its Erik, but it could’ve been anybody they’d been with
after prom. I couldn’t wait to get out of Iraq, the Army, determined that my
days of hurting people were over. I didn’t have to do what I did, I could’ve
accepted Mikey as my own, and it would’ve ended there.”

Jake
rubbed his neck. “Kind of like the playoffs that year, we won some, but lost
the championship. It was a huge let down.”

Nate
nodded, finishing his beer. “I always thought this day would be different. I
thought I’d get the news and be jumping for joy, elated beyond belief, and here
I am, just plain worn out, and less than thrilled with my behavior all around.”

“So
now what?” Jake asked.

He
shrugged. “What’s done is done. I can’t change one thing that’s happened in the
last five years.”

Linnie
pulled up. Getting out of her car, she saw them sitting on the patio, and
smiled, then headed their way. Sitting back in his chair, he opened his arms
for her. She came to him, and he pulled her onto his lap. Snuggling in close, she
kissed him full on the lips.

“Hi,
hun, I missed you today,” she said, putting an arm around his neck.

Well
now, didn’t that just perk a guy up? “You did?”

“Yep,”
she said, innocently, “I needed some light bulbs changed.” Her smile reached
her eyes.

He
grinned at her teasing. “Aha, is that the only reason?”

Thinking
about it for a moment, she smiled even more, as she toyed with the collar of
his jacket. “Well, there was that jar of pickles I couldn’t get open, and the
cobwebs in the corners of the living room I couldn’t reach.” She looked up at
him, trying not to laugh, then rubbed her nose to his.

She
was too cute. “You know, I don’t know if I should dump you in the snow over
there, or give you a swat on the rear for being sassy.”

Batting
her lashes at him and biting her bottom lip, she sat contemplating his words,
then with a seductive smile, she said, “Can I choose? Because if I can I choo—”

Cutting
her off, he knew where she was headed, and wanted to save her any embarrassment.
“Jake’s here, remember.”

Then
getting back at him for the way he’d acted in front of his mother, she turned
into the devil himself, when she pertly shrugged her shoulders and said with a
gleam in her eye, “And your point is what?”

He
burst out laughing. “Just for that, you’re getting both!” Jumping up, he swung
her back and forth a couple times, only to have her squeal, and threaten him
bodily harm if he let her go in the snow. Tossing her up in the air, he caught
her, bringing her in close. Wrapping her arms and her legs around him, they
held on to each other, and kissed one another passionately.