Authors: Iyanla Vanzant
Forgiveness (8 page)
There are three bonus Tapping Scripts presented during the 21-Day Forgiveness Practice, including “I Forgive Myself,” “I Forgive My Mother,” and “I Forgive My Relationship with Money.” These bonus scripts offer a fascinating glimpse into the intimate inner process of tapping and how people actually use this amazing tool to tackle some of their most challenging problems.
Remember, your forgiveness issues won’t necessarily be an identical match with the dialogue presented in the scripts. But the bonus scripts offer examples you can follow for creating your own personalized scripts, drawing from the material in the Forgiveness Statements you created while doing your daily journal work. Customizing the scripts so they reflect your language and clarify your intentions can offer an amazing shortcut to profound personal healing. Remember, the more specific your tapping scripts are, the better your results will be.
BONUS TAPPING SCRIPT DAY 1: “I FORGIVE MYSELF”
I
DENTIFY THE
I
SSUE
The “I Forgive Myself” Bonus Tapping Script deals with the thoughts, judgments, and beliefs we hold about ourselves for past choices and behaviors. After writing out your 12 Forgiveness Statements for Day 1, the specific self-forgiveness issue(s) that you want to work on are becoming increasingly clear. Give the issue a name. Whether you are new to tapping or an old hand, be sure you review
Tapping into Forgiveness
, to refresh your understanding of how the process works. Then you’ll be ready to tap into self-forgiveness.
R
ATE THE
I
NTENSITY
L
EVEL
On a scale of 0 to 10, where 0 represents “complete freedom from disturbing thoughts” and 10 represents “these thoughts are driving me crazy,” rate the intensity of the thoughts, judgments, and beliefs you have about forgiving yourself—for small things to things so large they seem unforgivable.
C
LEARING
R
ESISTANCE
/T
HE
R
EVERSAL
S
TATEMENT
The Reversal Statement neutralizes any subconscious resistance you have to releasing your unforgiveness of yourself. It acknowledges your resistance and moves you forward anyway.
Use the Reversal Statement provided below (or one that you’ve written yourself) and repeat it three times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.
- Even though there is a part of me that is resistant to forgiving myself, even though I say I want to, and then I don’t, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
T
HE
S
ET
-U
P
S
TATEMENT
The Set-Up Statement helps you stay focused on the issue that you’ll be addressing during your tapping session.
Use the Set-Up Statement that follows (or use one that you’ve written yourself) and repeat it three times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.
- Even though I need to forgive myself, I want to forgive myself, and I have a divine opportunity to forgive myself, I still don’t believe I deserve to be forgiven. Yet, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
Shake your hands out and have a few sips of water. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Release the breath slowly and softly through your mouth, making the sound “Ahhhhh” as you do so.
T
APPING
S
EQUENCE
: R
OUNDS
1
THROUGH
3
For Tapping Rounds 1 through 3, tap 7 times on each of the 10 meridian points while repeating the Tapping Script that follows, or create your own script using the Forgiveness Statement entries from your daily journal work as your reminder phrases. Using your own personal Forgiveness Statements will keep you laser focused on your tapping intention as different dimensions of your healing process unfold.
ROUND 1
Tap 7 times on each meridian point while repeating out loud either the statements below or your reminder phrases.
| Eyebrow: | I feel guilty and ashamed about some of the things that I’ve thought, said, and done. |
| Side of Eye: | And the way that I have hurt myself and other people. |
| Under Eye: | I feel so guilty about some things I have done and not done. |
| Under Nose: | I feel so ashamed about certain things I have said and done. |
| Chin: | I feel embarrassed about things I have said and done or not said and not done. |
| Collarbone: | Someplace inside of me, it feels as if I am not a very nice person or a good person. |
| Underarm: | I feel as if I’m not even worth forgiving. |
| Liver: | I am learning how to forgive other people, but I can’t seem to forgive myself. |
| Wrists: | I am carrying around so much unforgiveness. |
| Crown of Head: | I feel so bad about myself, so unforgiving. |
ROUND 2
Tap 7 times on each meridian point while repeating out loud either the statements below or your reminder phrases.
| Eyebrow: | What if I stop beating myself up? |
| Side of Eye: | What if it’s time to start letting go of the guilt, shame, and unforgiveness? |
| Under Eye: | What if I acknowledge that everything is a lesson and that I was just doing the best I could? |
| Under Nose: | What if I let go of the feeling that I can’t forgive myself? |
| Chin: | What if making that small choice starts the forgiveness process? |
| Collarbone: | What if I forgive myself a little at a time so that I feel safe and comfortable? |
| Underarm: | What if I release all feelings of guilt, shame, and blame? |
| Liver: | What if I give myself permission to transform my unforgiveness and self-judgment into peace and freedom? |
| Wrists: | What if nothing happens? |
| Crown of Head: | What if something does happen, something like I forgive myself? |
ROUND 3
Tap 7 times on each meridian point while repeating out loud either the statements below or your reminder phrases.
| Eyebrow: | It feels as if I am ready to release all forms of unforgiveness toward myself. |
| Side of Eye: | It feels like I am opening to the possibility of forgiving myself totally and completely. |
| Under Eye: | It feels like I am already forgiven by everyone for everything. |
| Under Nose: | This forgiveness is very powerful. |
| Chin: | I am tapping into the power of forgiveness right now. |
| Collarbone: | I am much more open and much better now. |
| Underarm: | I am open to forgiving myself for creating or choosing experiences that require self-forgiveness. |
| Liver: | I have learned my lessons and release the need to repeat them. |
| Wrists: | I allow my mind and heart to experience total and complete forgiveness of myself for everything. |
| Crown of Head: | I know that everything has happened for my highest and greatest good. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! |
Have a few sips of water. Take a deep breath in through your nose. Release the breath slowly and softly through your mouth, making the sound “Ahhhhh” as you do so.
R
ECHECK THE
I
NTENSITY
L
EVEL
Recheck your intensity level on holding unforgiveness about yourself. If the level is at 8 or higher, repeat the entire 3-Round Tapping Sequence outlined in the Bonus Tapping Script (or your self-created script.)
If the level is less than 8, tap on one of the following Modified Set-Up Statements, then perform the 10-point Tapping Sequence on the 12 Forgiveness Statements from your daily journal work.
MODIFIED SET-UP STATEMENT
Use the Modified Set-Up Statement below (or use one that you’ve written yourself) and repeat it three times while tapping continuously on the Karate Chop point.
- Even though I still have some stubborn judgments about myself and some resistance to letting them go, I am willing to let them go, and I love and accept myself totally and unconditionally.
After you complete the Tapping Sequence on your Forgiveness Statements, recheck your intensity level on holding unforgiveness about yourself.
Depending on your level, continue to repeat the sequence described above until you are at a 0 level of intensity.
My thoughts are images that I have made.
Things that I see
are made of the thoughts I think.
My thoughts create images.
The images I see
reflect the thoughts I am thinking.
I am responsible for what I see.
I can train my mind to be a deliberate
creator of what I see.
—P
RAYER FOR
A C
OURSE IN
M
IRACLES
W
ORKBOOK
L
ESSON
15?
– Forgiveness Story by Iyanla Vanzant –
I
grew up believing that I was fat and ugly and that I would always be fat and ugly. I was fat because I believed my grandmother when she told me that I ate too much. I was ugly because I believed my brother when he said I was not in line when God was giving out good looks. By the time I became interested in classical ballet, my distorted body image was signed, sealed, and delivered into the recesses of my mind. In dance class, where all the other dancers had small breasts and hips, I felt out of place. Many of the other prepubescent girls had enough hair to make a lovely ballerina bun on the nape of their necks. I was not so blessed or lucky. Still, I showed up for dance class each day in junior high and high school, believing that every comment the teacher made about points, pirouettes, and grand jetés was directed toward me because I was fat, ugly, and my hair was short.
I was 16 years old when I first saw a performance by Michael Babatunde Olatunji, the master drummer from Nigeria. His dancers looked like me. They were round and limber, and boy could they move. For the first time in my life I understood that I did not need to be thin to be beautiful or to dance. I also recognized that ballet was not the only form of dance available to me, and that I did not need a bun on the nape of my neck to fit into the world of dance. It was my first step toward accepting that God created poodles and S/He also created Saint Bernards. Not everyone needs to be a size 2, and at a size 10, I was by no means fat. The problem was, I had seen myself as fat and ugly for so long, it was difficult for me to imagine myself as anything else. Thank God for the 1960s, when short hair among women of color became fashionable, and round bodies could be covered with a dashiki! The black power fashion trends of the 1960s did not totally eliminate my distorted body image problem, but they certainly took me to the next step—self-acceptance.
Many people have distorted images and beliefs about their bodies that are held in place by a host of unconscious and habitual thoughts or beliefs. Today, these thoughts are called “negative body bashing.” They give rise to a host of esteem, worth, and value issues, particularly among women.
I
F YOU THINK YOU ARE FAT OR NEED TO BE FAT, YOUR BODY WILL ACCOMMODATE THOSE THOUGHTS
.
There are some schools of thought that promote the concept that the physical body is an “outpicturing” of the thoughts and emotions we hold about who we are and where our place is in the world. Other schools believe that if you don’t follow a specific dietary and exercise regimen, the body will simply become a reflection of what you are not doing. Then, there is the other reality. Your body is a living organism that hears and believes every thought you think and every word you speak. It follows from this particular train of thought that nothing goes on in the body that does not first occur in the mind.