Forgiving Patience (9 page)

“And me coming back is juicy?”

“What you came home to find in your
driveway is juicy. You and Jake dancing at my party is juicy. You coming home
is just way overdue and long expected. I’ve been talking about it for weeks.
So, what took you so long today?”

“Sorry, I didn’t sleep much last
night.”

Anna didn’t want to tell her friend
that insomnia was an every night thing—that sleeping until noon was common—and
that she worked better when the sun set for the day. If she said all those
things aloud, everyone would think she was taking the new vampire faze to the
extreme.

Em was all but rubbing her palms
together, waiting on the juicy news that wasn’t going to be revealed. Her lack
of sleep had everything and nothing to do with Jake, but not the way Em was
thinking. Yeah, there had been some heavy breathing and weakened knees involved
both times she’d seen him, but most of their contact was arguing.
Em’s
mind was going in a whole different direction—a direction
Anna was not traveling.

“That explains the pale face and dark
circles. You don’t waste time, do you? I know Jake is good, but, man, I
expected you to at least wait a week or so before you let him get you into
bed.”

Anna stared in shock. She could care
less about the insult to her appearance, even though it drove home the thought
that no matter how long she stood in front of the mirror she could never pull
off
Em’s
looks. She was more concerned about how Em
knew Jake was good in bed. Maybe she didn’t want to know—the thought was just
wrong…unfathomable.

As if Em could read her mind, she
quickly added, “God, no, I didn’t mean I know from personal experience. It’s
just, word gets around.”

Anna guessed that fell into the juicy
column for the town gossip. He was a man, and all men who looked like they
could pose on the cover of GQ were bound to have multiple partners, but that
didn’t mean she wanted to subject herself to the details.

Anna recovered from the shock and was
determined to change the subject to something not involving Jake. “What do you
need me to do to get ready for your big day? You better be careful because
Jesse seems very tempted to quit the whole thing.”

“I’m really not going to get any
details? At least tell me if his running you off the road is true,” Em begged.

Good grief. Patience had to be the
most gossipy town. With a pointed stare she reminded Em of the lack of
information she’d neglected to warn Anna herself about. “No. You don’t get to
hear anything since you just happened to forget to tell me he was living in my
house.”

Em crossed her arms and scrunched up
her face. “Fine, I will just have to get my gossip from Tommy. And I am not
sorry for not telling you. If I had, you probably wouldn’t have come back for
my wedding. You can call me selfish, but I wanted my best friend here.”

Shit—that stung. She was a horrible
friend. It made her regret her time away from Em and her life. They didn’t see
each other enough. Twice a year hardly qualified as enough time spent with your
best friend. Em had never asked Anna to come visit her in Patience over the
past eleven years, but Anna could have gathered up enough courage to set her
own demons aside and come back to see her cherished friend. Em had a whole life
Anna knew little about. She had friends, a job, and a future husband that Anna
was just now actively becoming familiar with. A pain settled in her gut and
forced her to see the reality of her best friend’s life she’d mostly only heard
about.

Anna abandoned her chair to kneel in
front of Em. “You listen to me, Emilee Bradshaw. No amount of Jake exposure
could keep me from your wedding, got it? You are my best friend, and I’m sorry
if I made you feel you weren’t important enough for me to haul my ass back
here.” She forced a tear back. She couldn’t afford to let the waterworks go,
because there was a possibility they’d never leave.

Em reached out and hugged her friend
a little tighter than she had earlier. “Oh, don’t make me cry. I know you’ve
had your reasons, and I understand them, believe me. I’ve just missed you, is
all.”

“Well, I’m here now and I plan to
have lots of girl talk.”

Em wiped away the beginning of tears
about to run down her perfectly made-up cheeks. “Good. Now tell me about what’s
going on with you.”

“What do you mean?” Please don’t let
it be any more Jake and sex talk.

“About your coffee shop and
bookstore. Have you told Jake that you need to sell the house so you can use
the money for a down payment on a building?”

“No. The building I had had my eye on
sold about a month ago. They’re putting in another auto parts store.”

“I’m sorry, Anna.”

“I’ll find another spot, but it’s
none of Jake’s business what I do with my house. One way or another, I will get
him out. He has no right to be there. It was a lowball move of him to make this
deal with Garrett.”

“I’m on your side, you know that…”

“But?”

“Don’t be mad at me. I’m just saying
that house has in some way saved Jake from his destructive self. When he first
got home, it was no happy reunion. He was cold, hard, and furious with the world—and
that included everyone around him. There were plenty of nights when Tommy was
called to pick him up from Ollie’s because he was too drunk to put one foot in
front of the other. When he moved into your house, that all changed. Maybe it
was because of the butt whippings from Bradley, but mostly it was because he
threw himself into something again. I know he’s worked hard to straighten up in
his life. To be the Jake we all remember—the fun, arrogant, confident, and
slightly cocky guy.”

“Well, he sure is getting back to his
old ways. Every time I’ve seen him, he’s been a complete jackass.”

Her friend’s eyes grew twice their
size. “So you have seen him more than once? You did find him in your driveway?”

Anna had to laugh. It felt like old
times to sit, talk guys, and let her guard down with someone she’d missed
terribly. Even though she felt exhausted from lack of sleep, which had more to
do with her sweet dreams of the old Jake she’d known as a stupid kid. She
didn’t remember him like Em. To Anna, he was uncaring and making promises that
in the end he couldn’t keep.

“Okay, what I’m about to tell you
doesn’t leave this room. No shop talk or pillow talk. Got it?”

“Deal.” They shook hands, hit their
knuckles together, and made their hands into the shape of guns. It was a
handshake they’d made up as kids, and for the most part it was the only thing
that got Em to keep her big mouth shut. Whenever Em was about to open her
mouth, revealing the sacred information she had been told not to mention, she
thought back to the handshake and changed her mind.

“I know you saw us dancing last
night. Well, before I ran out and embarrassed myself, he tried making some
ridiculous deal with me. A deal I will not be taking.”

“What was the deal? You sure are
making me beg today.”

“It’s fun watching you when you’re
starved for information. You really are a junky when it comes to gossip.”

“Shut up and just tell me what Jake
asked you, please.”

Anna couldn’t help but smile. “Okay,
he said he would give me my house back if I went on three dates with him, and
he won’t ask for any of the money he’s sunk into it.”

“I know this isn’t something you want
to hear, but it sounds like a good deal. I mean, three dates with the
famous
Jake Lawrence
—most women
would fight you for that chance. Plus, you need to sell the place. If he’s done
a lot of work on it, you can get more money out of it. That will be good for
your future business.”

“I don’t want his money, Em. I can
take care of myself. I shouldn’t have to subject myself to anyone to get my own
damn house back.”

Anna could feel her temper showing
its ugly head. While it was good to let things off her chest, she didn’t want
to take her frustrations out on her best friend. She knew deep down that Em was
only trying to help and look out for her.

“Quit being stubborn, Anna Kelly. If
the guy wants to put all his money into a house that isn’t even his, then
that’s his stupidly. You should just chalk it up as good luck.”

“Luck? Being around Jake is not
something I would consider as luck. I came here for you…” and other things, but
Em didn’t need to know about the nightmares, “…not to date Jake Lawrence.
Besides, I’m sure he has some girlfriend on the side he’s not telling me
about.”

“Nope, no girlfriend since he’s been
home. He doesn’t date. I’ve never even heard him talk about a woman in years.
Not that he’s celibate. He is a hot-blooded male, but he hasn’t had a serious
relationship since, well…probably you.”

Good God, me? That was eleven years
ago.

She knew deep down he probably didn’t
have a significant other right now. She was just trying to get information from
Em without coming right out and asking for it. Even if she wasn’t interested in
him, it didn’t mean she couldn’t be curious. And now her interest was piqued
even more, because to go that long and not have a serious relationship was just
unheard of. Of course, she hadn’t had but a couple dates in all this time, but
he was a professional baseball player. He could get any woman he wanted…and
he’d had nobody.

She didn’t understand what she was feeling,
but for some reason a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

“Well, I’m still not dating him.”

“Have you ever thought that it might
actually be fun? It might make your time here even more interesting—not to
mention giving you a break from helping me plan my wedding—which, by the way,
is not fun. It’s stressful and a lot of hard work dealing with me on a daily
basis. Having a hot affair with a man would make your time here memorable.

“I will not be having an affair with
any man. I’m not interested. Looks like I’m yours until the minute you say ‘I
do’.”

Em’s
expression turned serious for the
first time since Anna was dragged into the house. “Anna, you do whatever you
want, and I’m always here for you. Jake did you wrong after so many others had
before him. You look good now: strong, healthy, and a little happier. You have
to hear me when I say this—you are not your mother. You will never be her. Stop
comparing your life with hers. You need to start living a life that is not
shadowed by her mistakes.”

Chapter Five

The sun had not yet set. It was that
time in between day and night. The night was her favorite time, which didn’t
make sense to her, but the darkness was somewhat comforting. Sleep would not
come for several more hours, so, after leaving
Em’s
house, Anna decided to go to a place that had always allowed her to think and
pass time—the walking track.

It was isolated from the rest of the
town, and besides the one couple walking, it remained lonely. To her mind, it
was perfect. She’d run and walked many miles around this track as a teenager,
and being back here brought back the memories of her youth. She didn’t realize
that she’d missed the feeling of normalcy the track brought to her. She and Em
had gone there several times a week to gossip about the latest boy her picky
best friend was dating and make plans for the upcoming weekend. Anna mostly
listened to
Em’s
comparisons between J.J. Thompson
and Cal Michael’s kissing abilities. She didn’t have much to offer to the
conversation, but Em was content with doing most of the talking.

She didn’t have a place like this in
Linden. While she did take late night walks around her apartment
complex—between the barking dogs and comings and goings of other tenants, it
was impossible to savor the quiet. But Linden was safe and didn’t hold the past
that still haunted and held power over her life. Control that she was still
fighting to get back after all these years.

The abuse she’d endured as a child
remained with her every day…reminding her that having a voice and control was
everything.

Even though it was almost eight at
night, the humidity in the air made it feel like it was still way above ninety
degrees outside. Summer brought predictable afternoon storms and she could see
and hear the enormous thunderclouds that threatened in the distance. As a child
she had required her mother’s comfort when the white clouds started their
rumbling—now she enjoyed the sounds of God moving furniture. She couldn’t
explain the turnaround. Maybe it was because she’d grown past that part of
being that scared girl, maybe it was because she recognized it as something she
couldn’t control, or maybe she really still thought God was moving his
furniture—all she knew was that the sounds let her know she was alive.

The beat of The Mighty Mighty
Bosstones
set the pace, forcing her short legs to keep up
with the
ska
band’s beat. Her breathing was becoming
intense. She knew she was out of shape, but damn, she couldn’t even walk a lap
without feeling her heart beat wildly in her chest. She didn’t give up. She
slowed her pace just a tad as the music in her iPod changed. She could feel the
sweat running off her back, smell the rain that was bound to come, and see the
sun start to set. If she wanted to get a few miles in, she needed to start jogging.
If she remembered right, one mile was two laps. She had done one mile and had
every intention of accomplishing two. Her legs were heavy, but the faster she
could bring them to move, the better she felt.