Forsaken by the Others (2 page)

I shuddered at his pronouncement. Though a part of me was absurdly pleased with his
words, the rest of me was screaming in horror at that
finally mine
part. It only validated the terror of losing my own identity, only to be overshadowed
by a new “master” I couldn’t live without.

“Damn it, Shiarra, look at me!”

I did. His normally black eyes were blazing red with anger, shining like bright beads
of precious stones set in a lake of tar. His grip shifted, and he twined his fingers
with mine before lifting one of my hands to press it to his cheek, much like we had
done last night.

“Why do you not believe me when I say you will remain your own person? You know I
still taste you, crave you, want to be inside of you again. Can you honestly tell
me you don’t want that too? That you don’t want me?”

I wanted it. I wanted it so badly I could taste the remembered mint and copper of
his mouth on my tongue.

But I wanted to stay
me,
too.

“Please,” I croaked between shallow pants, my fingers against his cheek lightly stroking
his skin, pressing the length of my body against his to ease the growing heat and
need, even though I knew I should have drawn away. “Please, Royce, I can’t take this
anymore. I can’t even figure out who or what I am, let alone what you are to me. Please.”

“No more tears. Not because of me.” His hands cupped my cheeks as he tilted my head
up so he could briefly press a kiss against each eyelid, his cool lips following the
path of my tears as he whispered against my skin. “You don’t need to be frightened
anymore, my little hunter. You’ll always be safe—and yourself—with me.”

When he loosened his grip and coaxed me to embrace him, I wrapped my arms around his
neck and clutched at him. The hurting, lonely, emotional side of me that wanted to
believe it all—heart and soul—was winning out over the dark part whispering what a
terrifically awful idea it was to trust him.

“You aren’t a pet or some mindless puppet, Shiarra. I’ll only take what you’ll freely
give me, never force anything from you. I might tease you now and again, but it will
remain no more than the occasional attempt to fluster you or coax you into trying
something beyond your comfort zone.” The fanged smile that curved his lips spoke of
wicked things he already had in mind to talk me into. Even my dark, rational side
admitted that might be some fun to go along with. “You have my word.”

It might have been more stupidity on my part, but I believed him. He hadn’t hurt me,
hadn’t driven me away, hadn’t done anything other than reassure and comfort me. True,
his methods were sometimes abhorrent, but his intentions, though not always clear,
were good. I was the one with the hang-ups here, and I felt no small measure of shame
for constantly treating him as the bad guy or thinking him responsible for every evil
that had befallen me since I’d been drawn into the doings of the Others in this city.

I pressed a kiss to his chest before ducking my head, mumbling a few words that might
or might not have been coherent. Spitting out the truth hurt, but I meant everything
I said. “Sorry . . . I’m sorry, too. Shouldn’t have said—shouldn’t think so little
of you. I’m sorry, Royce.”

He rested his cheek on the top of my head as his fingertips ran soothingly along my
back, just holding me. It took awhile, but eventually my tears tapered off.

I’d done some terrible things during that time I had thought I might be turning into
a werewolf, but maybe, with Royce’s help, picking up the shattered pieces of my life
wouldn’t be as hard as I feared. Tackling everything alone had been incredibly foolish—as
had my decision to go to the White Hats for help—so why not accept that the vampire
could assist me? Aside from when he hadn’t really known me, or when he had been forced
to by someone else, he had never done anything to hurt me. Doing things alone and
ignoring his offers before had only gotten me into more trouble.

When I tilted my head back to give him a speculative look, considering the possibilities,
he leaned forward just enough to brush a kiss over my brow.

“It’s been an intensely stressful month for you. If you can’t bring yourself to trust
me now, at the very least, give me the opportunity to earn it. I imagine there may
be other times in the days ahead when you will need reassurance. There is no need
to suffer in silence. You will come to me and allow me to help you instead of rushing
off on your own now, yes?”

That hit a little too close to home. I gave him a sharp poke in the side, followed
by a disgruntled snort. “Can we talk about anything other than that right now?”

“After you promise you will come to me if you need assistance.”

I squirmed under his weight, frowning up at him. His pointed look as he rolled to
the side, curling his arm under his head as he stared back, gave me the courage to
say exactly what I was thinking.

“Fine. I promise”—Royce’s triumphant smirk faded when he realized I was tagging my
own stipulation onto the deal—“
if
you promise you’ll stop trying to blackmail or manipulate me every time you want
something.”

His smile became more genuine. “Is that all?”

I thought about it. “You’re also going to answer some questions. I’m tired of being
scared and left in the dark. I hardly know anything about you. I want that to change.”

“A reasonable request. Agreed.”

“Good. Then I have something to ask right now.” He nodded for me to continue. “What
the hell is with the futon?”

He blinked. Then another slow smile spread, followed by a chuckle. “I suppose you
were expecting some vast acreage of satin sheets and mounds of pillows, hmm?”

I knew I was turning red, could feel the heat blossoming in my cheeks, but I folded
my arms and gave him a raised eyebrow while waiting for him to answer. “Maybe I was.
You’re not some college frat boy who can’t afford better, and every other piece of
personal property of yours I’ve seen, from your clothes to your office—offices—whatever—practically
screams ‘look at me, I have more money than God!’ So, explain it to me. Make me understand
this piece of you.”

He’d lived up to a number of vampire stereotypes in our previous encounters, being
broody and dark and mysterious—but I knew there was more to him than that. The odd
choice of furniture was one piece of the puzzle that didn’t fit, and I thought it
might be a safe place to start learning more about the man hiding behind the mask
of a monster. From the looks of things, he didn’t mind my prying, either. He rolled
onto his back and folded both hands under his head, giving me a boyish grin and an
excellent view of the scars ranging across the toned muscles of his chest.

“Yes, I lived up to the cliché. Up until recently, I had the huge bed and all the
necessary accessories to make this place a suitable haven to live out every imaginable
debauched and depraved sexual fantasy that I desired.” As hard as it was, I kept my
gaze steady on his, even though I was pretty sure I was about to ignite from my own
embarrassment. “Do you know, less than a year ago, a woman—a human woman—reminded
me how very important it was to value my freedom and humanity?”

I was getting an inkling that he was referring to me, but I still didn’t see what
that had to do with his futon or the sexcapades he was referring to. I’m sure he gathered
I was confused. As he continued speaking, he rolled onto his hands and knees and crept
toward me. I lay back as he approached, a teensy bit apprehensive about the predatory
nature of his movements; he didn’t stop until he was positioned above me.

“A very brave and foolish girl saved me from the very fate I had subjected countless
others to. She freed me from what could have been lifetimes of slavery to someone
who cared nothing for who or what I was. And while she could have taken that artifact
and used me for her own ends, she did not. Though I wished that she would let me do
something to show her how thankful I was to her for showing me such mercy, she would
not have me.”

I bit my lip and pressed my palm to his cheek, not sure what to say to this strange
confession of his. He was still smiling, so I knew he wasn’t angry with me, but it
was surreal to hear him talk about me like I was some brilliant savior. Considering
how little I knew about his world, that could be taken as very flattering, or very
alarming.

“When I saw how humbly she lived, it served as a reminder of who I really was and
where I came from. A futon is not quite the same as the bedding from my home on the
farm when I was human, but it serves as an adequate reminder. Every night—from the
moment I wake, and again, before I take my day’s rest—I am reminded that despite all
of the luxuries available to me, they are not to come at the expense of another’s
freedom. That there is no shame in taking the weak and making them strong.” He leaned
in to kiss and nip at a spot that nearly had me come off the bed. “. . . And, perhaps
now I can get that great big bed back and keep you close instead. What do you think?
Will you remind me when I should show mercy?”

“If you keep doing that thing with your tongue.” I tangled my fingers in his hair,
gasping when he repeated the motion. “I’ll . . . I’ll . . .”

He paused, glancing up at me with a fangy grin and raised brows. “You’ll what?”

I laughed and pushed him back. “I’ll think of something. Don’t stop!”

And after that, he didn’t.

Christ, it was weird to be a vampire’s toy.

I had about a million and one questions for Royce, but we kept being interrupted by
phone calls. He’d forbidden anyone to enter his room, so it seemed just about everyone
in New York had to call him
right then
to talk about something more urgent than my burning desire to know stuff about him.
Like why, since he was technically dead, he could still get it up. Plus I needed to
know if he had any way to find out if Jack and the other White Hats had survived the
fight last night against the Ravenwood werewolves.

Maybe a teensy part of me wondered—very guiltily—if Chaz had survived, too.

While some of my senses still seemed abnormally heightened, for the most part I could
only make out Royce’s side of the conversations. It was at turns fascinating listening
to how he ran his empire—and picking up some juicy tidbits about a missing case of
some expensive-sounding wine from one of his restaurants, making the private investigator
in me itch to know more—and boring as hell. The parts about quotas, headcounts, and
company stock nearly put me back to sleep.

“I’m sorry,” he said to me at one point, covering the mouthpiece of his phone so the
lawyer on the other end wouldn’t overhear. “Things have gotten a bit out of hand without
John here to field the mundane issues. Angus and Jessica have stepped in to a degree,
but there is only so much they can deal with on their own.”

I eyed the screen of the laptop he’d popped open a few minutes before, curious about
the mountain of e-mails he hadn’t yet tackled. From where I was sitting, it looked
like he got more legitimate e-mails in a day than I did in a month. “Maybe I should
grab a shower and get dressed.”

“Hmm? Oh, just give me a moment to wrap this up. I’ll join you.” Then, into the phone,
more forcefully, “Glen, I’m done. Save the paperwork for when I visit the firm next
week.”

The lawyer was obviously peeved. This time I could hear the speaker loud and clear.
“Those interrogatories you put off are due in less than a week. I need to prep you
for the depositions scheduled—”

“Yes, and we’ll discuss this later,” Royce said, with far more patience than I would
have been able to muster in his position. “I’ll call you later tonight. Give me an
hour or two to get things settled and get ready. ”

“An hour, Alec. I know you hate the legal bullshit and red tape, but we’re running
out of extensions, and there’s only so much I can do to cover your ass when you don’t
work with me.”

I couldn’t believe Royce was letting someone talk to him like that. The vampire made
some sounds of contrition before he snapped his cell phone shut and then turned it
off. Finally.

“Now, where were we . . . ?”

Between one blink and the next, I found myself on my back, his lips latched onto my
throat as he playfully sucked where he had bitten me last night. For some reason,
tilting my head back like that made a bit of a tickle form in my throat, so I was
at turns giggling and coughing as he worked his way down my body. It was hard to be
mad at him for allowing all of those interruptions when he so obviously wanted to
spend his time with me.

And then someone knocked on the door.

He practically collapsed on top of me, groaning. I flailed a bit so he’d give me some
room to breathe as he barked out a harsh, “What?!” over his shoulder.

Clarisse poked her head in the door, grinning when she saw us. Probably because she
now had confirmation that I’d spent the night doing more than sleeping with Royce
and she could collect on a bet. Or maybe because she was getting a good gander at
his bare ass. “Ah, lovey, ye need tae come—”

Royce twisted around and gave her a look that stopped whatever words the Irish vampire
was going to say in their tracks. Her eyes widened, and she nodded rapidly.

“Right, then. I’ll just take care of that for ye, lad. I’ll, erm, keep the rest of
the wolves at bay, shall I?”

The growl that rumbled in his chest gave me the shivers and was all the answer Clarisse
needed. She disappeared without another word, the door clicking shut behind her.

He levered up on his elbows and glanced down at me with a frown. “This is not quite
how I anticipated my first evening with you would turn out.”

“I’d hope not,” was my dry response. “How about that shower? Unless you think we’ll
be interrupted there, too . . .”

A wicked twinkle sparkled in his eyes, his frown soon replaced by a sly grin. “Are
you sure you wouldn’t mind a bit of extra company? I’m sure I could arrange something.”
It didn’t take long for my flat stare to coax laughter out of him. “I’m joking, Shiarra.
For now, I plan on keeping you to myself. I’m not terribly good at sharing.”

With that, he scooped me up in his arms, and carried me to the bathroom. He set me
on my feet and started the shower, while I leaned my hip against the marble sink and
enjoyed the view. The steam seemed to be easing the tickle in my throat, though my
voice still came out in a more throaty whisper than I intended.

“I don’t suppose you feel like telling me what your plans for me are?” At the look
he gave me over his shoulder, I snorted. “I don’t mean right now. Duh. I mean like
later tonight. Tomorrow. The day after that.”

He reached out to take my hand and tug me with him under the spray of multiple showerheads.
“There will be more than enough time to worry about that later. Let’s focus on right
now, shall we?”

His obvious ploy to get me to leave the subject alone was made more obvious by the
sudden, intense kiss he used to keep my mouth busy. Unsurprisingly, it worked.

There wasn’t much getting clean happening in that shower, but for the time being,
I was happy to let that slide. Much like last night, Royce paid very close attention
to the places he knew would make me stop caring about anything aside from the moment.
Thoughts surrounding what to do about the police, the Ravenwoods (or whoever it was
out for my blood), what had happened to Jack, what I would do about my family, and
if Royce knew why I hadn’t changed into a werewolf, were blown right out of my head.
For a good long while, I
didn’t
care, and was happy to let all of those worries melt away under the vampire’s talented
ministrations.

Like most good things in my life, it wasn’t destined to last. Royce murmured a soft
curse against my lips when a pounding sound came from somewhere outside the room.
He put a little extra pressure on a spot that made me squeal in a very good way, but
whoever was knocking wasn’t going away.

Royce muttered a quiet expletive and straightened, holding me steady until my weak
knees were ready to hold me up on their own. “Wait here.” He gave me a parting kiss
and a wolfish grin as he opened the glass door. “Get lathered up; I won’t be long.”

“Can’t it wait? We still need to get cleaned up,” I said, reaching for him. He took
my hand and kissed my knuckles in a move that would have been charmingly gallant if
not for his nakedness.

“They wouldn’t be interrupting if it weren’t important. I’ll get it settled quickly.
You be ready for me when I get back. I don’t like to wait.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” I muttered.

In a flash, I was pressed up against the shower wall, and I didn’t need any more proof
of his desire. As my hands settled on his shoulders, he bit my earlobe lightly, sending
a shock of pleasure down my spine. He then whispered in my ear, making me squirm in
all the right ways. “Don’t doubt for a moment that you’re mine, my little hunter.
You’ve been mine longer than you know. A few moments apart will never change that,
and I’ll spend eternity proving it to you if you need me to.”

I would’ve answered, but I was a bit too busy trying to pull him back to nibble on
my ear some more. I pouted when he drew back despite my urging him to continue.

That earned another wicked twinkle in his eye and a razor smile that made my heart
do a funny little leap in my chest. My cheeks burned at his next comment.

“Be glad of my constraint, Ms. Waynest. If I had waited much longer to drag you to
my bed, you might not have survived my efforts to scrub every other partner you’ve
ever had out of your mind. When I return, I intend to finish what I started. Be ready.”

He turned away. I huffed and, with my newfound resolve not to be afraid of him, found
it in me to slap his ass as a parting shot. My God, I had to be insane; he was going
to
kill
me for that—

The look he shot me over his shoulder was dark and full of promise, a hint of fang
visible in his grin. It was all the things he
didn’t
say in that heated look that made me burn with a flash of desire. Much to my surprise,
this left me breathless and quivering in anticipation instead of from holy-hell-I’m-going-to-pee-my-pants-before-I-die
terror. He grabbed a towel to wrap around his waist and disappeared into the bedroom.

Maybe a bit disappointed, but no less enthusiastic for what would no doubt happen
once he returned, I took my time picking out which product to use to get soaped up
like he’d mentioned.

The shower was gigantic, and the selection of skin and hair care products looked like
it belonged in a spa. Some of them didn’t have labels, and I took my time enjoying
taking in the unusual scents and rubbing the different oils between my fingers to
see what would work best for what I had in mind.

I sat down on the marble bench that ran along the wall, closing my eyes and enjoying
the warm spray as I rubbed some vanilla-and-something-scented shampoo into my hair.
While I was massaging my scalp, something stung my eyes. Figuring it was just some
soapsuds, I rinsed a hand off and splashed some water on my face. The sting didn’t
alleviate.

The tickle in my throat grew worse as I scrubbed furiously at my eyes. When I managed
to squint them open, I spotted a mix of blood and black crud on my fingers being rinsed
away.

Coughing, I pressed a hand under my nose. The warm wetness there was from another
nosebleed, not the shower spray. Crap.

It wasn’t as bad as it had been while I was hiding with the White Hats, but it was
still nasty. I stuck my face under the spray and groped for a washcloth, scrubbing
the residue from the corners of my eyes and around my nose.

A cold hand closed on my upper arm and yanked me back, another soon pressing against
my jaw to tilt my head back. It hurt too badly to open my eyes, but I wasn’t afraid.

Well, maybe I was a little afraid.

Shut up; you’d squeak like that too if you couldn’t see who was grabbing at you while
you were naked in someone else’s shower.

“When did this start?”

Royce’s voice was sharp, cutting. I wasn’t expecting it and coughed a few times before
stammering out a response. “Just a minute ago. I’m fine. Let go!”

He did release my arm, but only so he could cup my face in both hands this time. “Did
this happen last night? Is this what happened before you came here?”

I nodded. He swore and crushed me against his chest. The combination of hot/cold from
the shower and his body was suddenly discomfiting—almost more so than the pain under
my eyelids and building in my sinuses—but didn’t compare to the sudden fear that the
vampire knew more about what was going on in my body than I did. Why else would he
be clutching at me like I was his favorite set of pearls?

Between coughs, my voice shook with not a little fear. It was hard to say whether
I was more afraid of this strange sickness, or of what Royce might know about it.
“What’s happening to me?”

“It may be your body still fighting off the lycanthropy virus. What I tasted in your
blood last night—I assumed it would fade over time.”

I still couldn’t open my eyes, but I would have glared at him had I been able. Snarling,
I punched his shoulder, though it was about as effective as hitting a stone statue.
“You asshole! You knew there was still something wrong with me last night and didn’t
say anything?”

His grip shifted from my jaw to my upper arms, keeping me from twisting away or hitting
him again. “Stop this foolishness. Do you know how unusual it is for someone to be
both bound to a vampire—two vampires—and then infected with lycanthropy? I did not
want to start you needlessly worrying about something that we may not be able to change.
I don’t want to meddle with your blood and can’t be certain what side effects you
will experience, because this
does not happen.
You are an anomaly, Shiarra. A very unusual anomaly, and all of the normal methods
I would use to deal with human sickness do not apply here.”

I would have plied him with more questions, but a more severe bout of coughing wracked
my body. He helped ease me to the tiled floor as I bent double, a pulsing pain building
in my stomach and sinuses. The cramping wasn’t so bad, but the abrupt onset of the
sinus headache made my head feel like it would split in two.

The water washed away the secretions of blood and whatever the hell the black stuff
was. When Royce realized I was clutching at my head because of the pain there, he
carefully moved my fingers and gently stroked over the parts where the pressure was
the worst. He could probably see the black stuff under my skin, because he knew exactly
where to rub. It helped, because the choking wave of crud that flooded out of my nose
and mouth a minute later made the headache all but disappear. Though I was still coughing,
breathing came much easier, and the stinging in my eyes, nose, ears, and throat was
fading far faster than it had the night before.

The vampire gathered my trembling hands in his and pulled me to him, using the cloth
I’d dropped to carefully wipe the stuff from around my eyes and mouth. Blinking a
few times, then squinting at him through my lashes, I took in the angry knot between
his brows and the way his jaw muscles had tensed. He wouldn’t meet my eyes, but I
could still tell his thoughts were racing by the determined way he stared at me.