Authors: Roberta Gellis
But Robert’s frown had nothing whatsoever to do with
Esmeralda’s expression. Although he was looking at her, he had noticed nothing
beyond her obvious relief at the proposal he had made and the confidence with
which she had assured him that she would not mind the hardships of travel.
Fortunately he had the evidence of her behavior on the ride from the village to
Oporto to support her statement, and he could believe her. What was more, he
was sure that he would be able to obtain a proper saddle and a mare or gelding
with a less jarring gait so that, although the distance would be greater, the
discomfort would be less.
What had brought the creases to Robert’s fair brow was a
very delicate matter. He and Miss Talbot would be four or five days on the
road, and their only company would be a few dozen Portuguese muleteers and ox
drivers, scarcely acceptable chaperones for a young lady of breeding. It was
all very well to say that they were in Portugal and it was an emergency. The
whole thing was still highly improper, and Robert was afraid that there would
be no way to keep it a secret.
His fellow aides-de-camp were from the best families.
Burghersh was the Earl of Westmoreland’s heir, and Lord Fitzroy Somerset was
the youngest son of the Duke of Beaufort. They were the best of fellows, but it
would be too much to expect them to keep so good a story to themselves. Robert
could just hear them,
It’s just like Moreton’s luck
, they would say.
You’d
think it was enough that he has the prettiest face in the whole army, but he
goes out to pick up asses and oxen and instead finds a shipwrecked damsel in
distress
. Of course, they would mean no harm. They would tell the story in
the strictest confidence, only intending to poke fun at him, not to make
difficulties for Miss Talbot, but it was sure to get out.
Unfortunately, too, Miss Talbot had no friends or family who
would support her. With a story like that going around, she would not have a
chance to establish herself. Under other circumstances she doubtless could have
obtained introductions to the families of people she knew in India and formed a
pleasant circle of acquaintances, but with a scandal broth brewing… There was
only one way out. Robert sighed.
“Indeed, I promise I will not make any difficulties,”
Esmeralda said earnestly, hoping her general statement would be understood in
the emotional sense as well as referring to the journey south. She imagined
that Robert was plagued with women worshiping him.
“You won’t, but others will,” Robert said with a tinge of
bitterness and heaved another sigh. “There’s nothing for it,” he added, wearing
an expression of extreme dejection. “We’ll have to get married.”
Esmeralda’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes widened so far
that they almost appeared ready to fall out of her head. In addition, shock
drove the air out of her lungs while she was seeking words so that she uttered
an indistinct and most inelegant gobbling noise. Robert, who had been staring
past her concentrating on his private rationalizations, suddenly realized what
he had done. He jumped to his feet, cursing himself for being ten kinds of a
donkey. The last thing he had said to the girl was that it would be a long, hot
ride, and then without the slightest warning or explanation he had proposed
marriage. It would be no wonder if poor Miss Talbot had hysterics.
“No, don’t,” he said desperately. “I didn’t mean to shock
you. Oh, damn it all, you can’t go riding all over the country with me and a
bunch of Portuguese ox drivers. It isn’t at all the thing. People would get to
talking.”
Now Esmeralda was in even worse straits. One cannot laugh
while one is strangling for lack of air, but the form of Robert’s explanation
of his extraordinary proposal was inordinately comical. At the same time, the
kindness of his intention and his obvious distress absolutely required a
response that would put him at ease. Esmeralda struggled for breath while
Robert stood halfway between her chair and his own, afraid to approach but
equally afraid that the next thing that would come out of her mouth would be
the piercing shrieks of a totally unhinged mind. He knew he needed female
assistance, but the thought of what Esmeralda might say to any woman who
offered her sympathy almost unhinged
his
mind.
“I’m all right,” Esmeralda gasped at last. “I am sorry to
have alarmed you. You took me so much by surprise.”
Robert could have kissed her. He stared down into her large,
dark blue eyes, magnified now by unshed tears of stress, and again thought how
remarkably beautiful they were. “I’ll get some wine,” he said anxiously. “Can’t
think how I could have been so stupid. Should have explained first. Dreadful
shock for you. But I don’t mean anything by it. I mean, I do, but I wouldn’t
expect… Oh, the devil with it. I’ll get some wine.”
Esmeralda was not in any need of a restorative, but she was
glad to have a little time alone to reassemble her wits and get control over
her feelings. Although she could now breathe evenly, she still did not know
whether amusement or agony predominated. Captain Moreton, set on rescuing a
maiden in peril, was clearly ready to go all the way regardless of the cost to
anyone. That was most laudable. Only one could not help but laugh at the sad
resignation with which he prepared to sacrifice himself. It was perfectly plain
to Esmeralda that he scarcely saw her as an individual and did not care much
for what he saw. No, Captain Moreton’s sacrifice was not for the maiden, but
for the propriety itself. Esmeralda started to giggle and choked on a sob.
He was such a dear person, so upright and honest, so
obviously well brought up by a family that treated its women with the utmost
consideration. But that was where the danger lay. If Captain Moreton had been
as practiced a hand with women as his handsome face would lead one to suspect,
Esmeralda thought she would soon have recovered from her infatuation. Such a
person would doubtless try to flatter her and show her attentions, which she
would know to be false. In that case, close association over an extended period
would soon produce disgust.
That could never happen with Captain Moreton. He would most
likely be careful and considerate of her because he had been trained to be
careful and considerate of women. He would be kind because it was his nature to
be kind. And Esmeralda knew that she would fall more and more deeply in love.
She should not do it. Esmeralda knew she would suffer
horribly if she yielded to the temptation. Yet what else could she do? Without
Robert, how was she to prove her identity? Perhaps she should return to India
and obtain identification papers from Governor Duncan, but there was no way she
could think of to pay for her passage, and she had no idea where to find a ship
going to India. Would she have to travel to England first?
No, it was insane. Captain Moreton had offered the perfect
solution, simple and easy. Surely she was sufficiently adult and intelligent to
keep her emotions under control when it was so very plain that he was utterly
indifferent to her except as another duty. And she had intended to travel with
him. A marriage of convenience could not possibly make any difference in how
she would feel, since it was quite plain that Robert did not intend to act as
her husband, but only lend her his name. But Esmeralda was lying to herself,
and she knew it. It would make a difference. She would have to resist the idea
of marriage.
Before her very urgent desire to snatch at even the most
distant opportunity for an intimate relationship with Robert could take hold
and manufacture arguments, he came back into the room, carrying a tray with
bottles and glasses. Esmeralda could not help laughing, albeit a bit shakily.
His anxious expression betrayed the reason for his acting as waiter. He did not
want any witnesses if she had collapsed into hysterics again.
His eyes lighted at her laugh, and he said, “By George, you
are
a sport, Miss Talbot. I can’t say how sorry I am. You see, I was sitting here
and thinking about what you said—you know, about not having any family or
friends in England—and that made me think that you wouldn’t have anyone to…to
stand up for you. Then I got to thinking about how long it would take to get
the animals down to Leiria, and what might be said. I swear I never thought…”
“Do set down the tray,” Esmeralda suggested, driven to tease
by her mingled misery and mirth. “But, really, you do not need to apologize or
assure me that you had no dishonorable intentions. After all, you made me a
proposal, not a proposition.”
Robert set the tray down rather more abruptly than he had
intended. Wearing a rather hunted expression, he turned toward Esmeralda.
“But—”
She burst into laughter, interrupting him. “Oh, forgive me,”
she gasped. “I have a most improper sense of humor. I was only teasing you. I
understand perfectly that you were most kindly offering a marriage of
convenience to protect my reputation. I am very grateful, truly grateful, but I
cannot think it to be necessary. Surely no word of so small an incident would
get back to England.”
Robert’s expression had changed from anxiety to amusement at
Esmeralda’s confession and then back to anxiety again at her final words.
“Unfortunately, that’s just what I’m not at all sure of,” he said. He
hesitated, poured two glasses of the wine, and handed one to Esmeralda. Since
it was obvious he was trying to find the right words to say something else, she
sipped her wine and waited. “You see,” he went on slowly, “I would have to
bring you to headquarters, and Sir Arthur’s staff is not only all very well
connected but also very young. They wouldn’t mean any harm. They would think
they were making a joke at my expense. I could warn them,” he went on hastily,
“but I fear that would only impress the incident on their minds.”
“That is quite true.” Esmeralda was forced to agree. “What’s
more, it would make telling it even more irresistible,” she admitted. “As soon
as one knows something should not be said, it is always at the tip of one’s
tongue.”
As the words came out, Esmeralda remembered that she was
supposed to be arguing against the marriage, not for it. Even if the story of
her unchaperoned days with him did get back to England, she did not think it
would greatly impede her acceptance into society once the size of her fortune
was known—a cynical view perhaps. Nonetheless, she was relatively sure that
five days’ lapse would be overlooked in the shadow of half a million pounds.
“Still,” Esmeralda went on, determined to be sensible, “it
seems to me to be too great an imposition upon you. I must take my chances.
After all, I survived a shipwreck and escaped from old Pedro’s schemes—”
“That’s just why I decided there was nothing for it but
getting married.” Robert sighed and tossed off the glass of wine he had been
holding. He refilled the glass and turned back toward Esmeralda. “No sense
rescuing you from one bumble-broth and dropping you into a worse one. Not your
fault the ship went down or that there aren’t any ships going to England or
that the damned Portuguese won’t give me credit.” Suddenly Robert smiled at
her. “And you’ve been damned good about it, too. No vapors, no fuss.”
Esmeralda laughed. “That would have been very poor thanks
for your kindness, to saddle you with hysterics in addition to so awkward a
burden.”
Now Robert laughed also. “True enough, but most women don’t
seem to consider such things. Tend to get upset first, then they don’t seem to
be able to think at all. You’re a very sensible girl.”
“Thank you,” Esmeralda said. “It is owing to having lived
with Papa. He had very little sympathy with a display of the vapors.
However, I do not see that this marriage will really help.
Will it not be even more exquisitely humorous to your fellow ADCs that you
rescued a young woman and married her out of hand?”
“They
will
have a May-day frolic over the marriage,”
Robert agreed, grinning, “but I won’t mind that, and they won’t tease you. And
when we have it annulled, they won’t say a word to anyone about its ever having
happened. They will think, you see, that something went wrong between us, and
to have gossip about
that
would hurt me—and you also, of course. They
would not wish to hurt us.”
“Annulled!” Esmeralda repeated, and then added quickly,
“Yes, of course. How stupid I am.” She looked down at her hands, so tightly
clasped that the knuckles showed white, afraid of what Robert might read in her
face. “But will it not make a scandal to…to put an end to the marriage? Will
that not negate the good effect you wish to produce?”
“No,” Robert said eagerly, proud of his strategic planning
and completely unaware of the blow he had delivered, “we can be married by the
bishop, or by his priest or someone—I’m pretty sure I can talk him into that,
since we’re both heretics already. I mean, he wouldn’t be taking a chance on
having a Catholic soul corrupted, and maybe he would even think some good would
rub off on us from a marriage in the ‘true faith’. But the marriage wouldn’t be
valid in England, you see—at least, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be. And since
it wouldn’t have been…er…”
“Consummated?” Esmeralda offered with seeming calm.
She was really numb with pain. When Robert had seemed so
pleased with her and called her a sensible girl, she had for a few minutes
almost permitted herself to hope that he would be willing to let the marriage
stand.
“Yes,” Robert said, with relief, smiling at her again. She
really was a most unusual woman. “So there wouldn’t be any trouble in obtaining
an annulment very privately, and there wouldn’t be any scandal. And I think I
know someone who could help, too. I mean, help to keep things quiet.”
“It is very good of you,” Esmeralda said wearily.
“Not at all,” Robert responded politely. “I like to see a
thing neatly done—or, as the cavalry would say, get over heavy ground as
lightly as I can—and this is really the best way. Moreover, if we should suffer
any surprise by the French or any reverse in a military sense, you would have
the protection of my name and rank.”
“I had not thought of that,” Esmeralda confessed. “I had
almost forgotten the French.”
Robert smiled indulgently. “I can see how you would, what
with one shock after another, but it would never do for me to forget them. Now,
sorry I shan’t be able to give you more time to get used to all this, but it
looks like the stock the bishop has collected for us will all be assembled by
tomorrow. That means we must leave the day after. Can’t have Sir Arthur
bringing the troops ashore and having nothing to ride or to pull the wagons. So
tomorrow will have to be the day.”
“Very well.” Esmeralda’s voice was so colorless that even
Robert, scarcely the most perceptive of men where women were concerned,
realized something was wrong.
He looked at her closely and was shocked by the gray tinge
beneath the sun-browning of her skin. “My dear Miss Talbot,” he exclaimed, “do
forgive me. You are exhausted. I will take myself off at once and let you rest.
Would you wish to have a small supper sent up to your room, or—”
“I can scarcely come down in this dress,” she began, then
stopped speaking as a deep flush came up over Robert’s face. “What is it,
Captain Moreton?” she asked.
“About the gowns I asked you to order,” he said, struggling
with his embarrassment. “I’m afraid I should have explained the situation more
completely, but I did not know myself, until after I left you, that I could
neither change a reasonable sum in pounds for Portuguese money nor obtain
credit.”
“Oh goodness,” Esmeralda cried, getting up from her chair,
“I never thought of it either. I will ring for a servant and send him at once
with a note to the dressmaker. She was to bring tomorrow a riding dress and a
morning dress, which she happened to have by her and which she said would need
little alteration to fit my measurements. But she cannot have done much yet, so
I hope it will cause no hardship to cancel the order.”
“No, you must have those,” Robert said. “I’m not so short as
that. But I’m afraid any evening dresses—”
“I did not order any,” Esmeralda assured him, forced to
smile despite the lingering ache in her heart. “What would I do with evening
dresses?”
Robert looked puzzled. “I don’t know,” he admitted, “at
least, not until we settle into headquarters, but my mother and sisters never
seem to go anywhere without trunks full of them.” Then he burst out laughing
but soon sobered and took Esmeralda’s hand. “There aren’t many girls who would
be so sensible. You are one in a million, Miss Talbot, and if I
had
to
come upon someone adrift, I’m glad it was you.”