Authors: Lisanne Norman
* * *
He took the stairs at a lope, heading along the pillared central balcony to Taizia's room. His sister opened the door for him.
"You lied to me," said Carrie as he entered.
"No, I only tried to..."
"You lied!" Her eyes were narrowed to slits and her voice was like winter's breath. He'd never seen her so angry before.
"You knew about this marriage all along, yet you purposely kept it from me. I trusted you, Kusac! How could you keep something as important as this from me?"
"It isn't important, Carrie," he said quietly, moving away from the door. "It's only an arranged marriage. She means nothing to me. I didn't choose her."
"It's a marriage, Kusac," she said, cold fury in her voice as she got to her feet and began to pace between the bed and the window.
"Arranged marriages happen all the time in the Clans. It doesn't stop the people involved from having lovers and living apart from each other, you know that. Even if I have to marry her, it won't affect us."
"Oh, won't it?" She spun round, eyes blazing. "What am I supposed to do while you're screwing that female? Enjoy the secondhand experience? I'm your Leska, Kusac, we're Linked together for life, we belong to each other, or doesn't that matter any more? I thought that Sholans understood about Leskas! Or am I just a working partner, someone else you didn't choose, with nothing to offer in comparison to a wife?" She turned away from him again, sitting back down on the bed.
Taizia, part of her realized, was sitting at the other end of the bed, trying to take up as small a space as possible in her own room. She was wishing she was anywhere else but here with them. Tears of anger and hurt stung Carrie's eyes and she blinked rapidly in an effort to hide them.
She felt his hand on her shoulder and shrugged away from him. "Leave me alone," she snapped. "I trusted you, I came here with you, turned my back on my own people— for what? A handful of lies?"
Through their Link she knew every word she said hurt him, but she didn't care any more. What was his hurt compared to hers? She was alone on an alien world with no way of getting home. She couldn't leave even if the means were available. Her life depended on her physical nearness to him. Anger rose inside her. How dare he deceive her like this!
"Carrie," said Taizia, "Kusac's not like that. He's put it badly, but he was only trying to stop you from worrying needlessly."
"Needlessly?" she said, looking over at his sister. "It's all right for you to say that with the security of your home and family behind you, but I've only got Kusac, and now I find out I haven't even got a right to him!"
She reached up to tug her torc off, but anger made her clumsy. "I can't get this damned thing off!" she cried, jumping to her feet. "I've had enough, Kusac! I wish I'd never met you, I wish you'd let me die when Elise died!"
Tears of anger and frustration began to blur her vision as she made for the door. Kusac reached out to take her by the arm, but she pulled away. He grasped her more firmly.
"I told you, Kusac, leave me alone! You've no right to stop me leaving, I don't belong to you!" She lashed out with her free hand, landing him a stinging slap on the face.
He snarled in surprise and pain, then grabbed that arm also as she tried to hit him again.
She couldn't see properly, her eyes weren't focusing. Everything looked strange, unreal. His arms moved, encircling her and holding her pressed tightly against his chest. Breathing was difficult, all she could smell was him, all she could hear was the blood pounding in her ears, driving her to struggle and fight against him. Trapped, she opened her mouth to scream her rage only to have his hand clamped across it.
"For the love of Vartra, get Mother," Kusac hissed. "I can't control her! She's hunting! Carrie, for the Gods' sake, stop it! You'll trigger the gestalt!" he said as she tried to bite his hand.
Taizia leaped off the bed and ran from the room.
Kicks rained on his shins, so he lifted her up, hoping that would prevent her reaching him. It only made it easier for her. Her eyes had a red glow to them and the hate and anger that battered at his mind was making him feel ill.
He carried her struggling body over to Taizia's bed and dumped her face down on it, keeping his hand over her mouth as he did. Sitting down beside her, he pinioned her arms behind her with one hand and turned her face so she could breathe.
"Carrie, calm down," he said, trying to keep his voice soothing. "I've never lied to you, believe me." Under his grip she began to struggle again.
Kusac,
came his mother's thought.
She's hunting like an
angry Sholan female. Treat her like one. Let her go.
But she'll run off!
She'll fight you, not run. Let her go and block the door.
She's not Sholan, Mother. I don't think Terrans do that. It
won't work.
You made her what she now is. Why ask me to help, then
ignore my advice?
was her acid reply.
Kusac let her go and hastily backed up to the door to prevent her from leaving.
For a moment she stayed where she was, then in one sinuous movement, she sprang off the bed and was running at him. Her fists flailed at him, alternately hitting then trying to scratch him with her blunt nails.
He fended her off as best he could, trying to take the blows on his forearms but inevitably some of them got through.
She spent her fury on him, her movements becoming more and more sluggish till she collapsed on the floor, sobbing.
Squatting down, he picked her up. She no longer fought him, but the desolate sense of loss she felt hurt him more keenly than the blows had. He carried her back over to the bed and was settling her there when the door opened.
"Well, you made a complete fool of yourself over all this, didn't you?" said his mother, coming over. "You should have told her from the first!"
I couldn't. I was afraid of losing her,
he sent to her.
Don't tell me, tell her!
was the tart response as she sat beside the human girl.
Rhyasha leaned forward and stroked Carrie's head, making soothing, purring noises while Kusac moved back and sat on his haunches nearby, watching them unhappily.
Gradually Rhyasha encouraged Carrie to put her head on her lap while she continued to stroke and soothe her.
"You're not alone, cub," she said, "never think that. You have me and Taizia as well as my fool of a son. You're part of our family now. No matter what Konis says, he knows that, too. You belong with us now."
"He lied to me." Carrie's voice was faint through her sobs.
"He was foolish, he cared too much to tell you," she said. "Think of what he has done, cub. He gave you his torc, letting all the world see it's you he cares for, no one else. In our culture, that's no small act. He's also fighting his father over you, refusing to marry Rala. Would he do all these things if he didn't care?"
A shuddering breath was all the response Carrie made.
Rhyasha tried another approach. "Here I am, trying to persuade my son's alien Leska that he loves her. I, his mother, am encouraging him to turn his back on his own kind, to reject the Sholan bride chosen for him, to give up the right to have children— all this, for what? A female who gives in at the first hint of trouble, who won't fight for him as a Sholan female would? A fine Leska you are!"
"Mother!" said Kusac, getting anxiously to his feet.
It worked, though. Carrie sat up, glaring angrily at Rhyasha.
"That's better. I thought I'd read you correctly the first time we met," said Rhyasha, giving her a hug before she could back away. "Kusac would leave Shola with you before he would marry Rala, and I don't want to lose my son or you. We'll find a legitimate way to dissolve this betrothal, never fear. Taizia and I have been checking through the Clan laws to find any loopholes."
"I didn't realize," said Kusac, taken aback by the support that he'd never known he had.
"There's a lot you don't realize," said his mother. "Since you met Carrie, I swear you've let your hormones do the thinking!"
Carrie couldn't stifle her laugh.
Rhyasha hugged her again. "That's right. You laugh at him! My son, the scholar, not really interested in females, doesn't want to marry, so he runs away. What does he do then? Why, he finds the only female telepath on an alien world and bonds to her for life, losing his heart to her in the process!"
This time Carrie found it impossible not to laugh, a laugh born from despair but still a laugh.
"Carrie, I'm sorry," he said, hovering several meters away from her, not daring to come closer. "You had so many doubts and fears from the start that I didn't dare tell you. It was wrong of me, I know."
Carrie looked at Rhyasha who cocked her head on one side, ears flicking gently. "Well? Have you made him suffer enough?"
"I wasn't trying to make him suffer," she objected, then saw Rhyasha's eye ridge lift. "Well, not intentionally," she amended as Kusac squatted on the floor beside them. She reached down for his hand and found it gratefully given.
"Kusac, Rala is coming for second meal tomorrow. You will see her, and you will be civil to her. We need time. If you give her any reason to complain, she'll be demanding an early wedding. Playing for time includes taking your torc off so she doesn't realize you've exchanged it with someone else already."
"No. Carrie gave it to me, I refuse to remove it. We've been through this already, Mother."
"I know Carrie gave it to you, and so will anyone else who sees it because of the bands on either side of the emblem. It looks like exactly what it is— a betrothal torc, not your family torc. At least turn it around so your hair conceals the motif."
"If your mother needs the time to help us, then do it," said Carrie. "I don't want you outcast from your Clan because of me."
He looked from his mother to Carrie and back. "Very well," he sighed. "I'll turn my torc around, but that's all. I won't lie or mislead Rala about the wedding."
Rhyasha sighed in exasperation. "I've never yet met a male that was any good at dissembling! You're as stubborn as your father!"
Kusac grinned. "Funny, he always says that about you!"
"Insolent cub," she said good-naturedly, getting to her feet. "I think Taizia would like her room back. You two go and get some rest, you both feel like you could do with it, especially you, Carrie. You look as if you could do with several good meals inside you as well! Tomorrow will come soon enough."
Kusac stood up and wrapped his arms around his mother. "Thank you."
"Good-night Kusac, good-night cub," she said, turning to touch Carrie's cheek. "Don't fret. All will work out well, I'm sure."
* * *
Rhyasha walked along the balcony to her study where Taizia waited impatiently.
"Well?" she asked.
"He'll conceal his torc, but he won't lie to her," said Rhyasha, sitting down at her desk. She tapped her claws thoughtfully on the surface, looking up at Taizia. "We've run out of time," she said abruptly. "It has to be the Challenge. There's no other way."
"I thought so," nodded her daughter. "I've been talking to Meral. He says their training at the Warrior Guild goes well. Apparently Carrie is a natural with a sword. Their encyclopedia says it's an old Earth weapon, too."
"So Carrie stands a good chance of winning?"
"From what Meral says, yes."
She shook her head, setting the beads in her hair chiming. "I don't like it, Taizia. It's tempting fate. The words she quoted at that reception on the
Khalossa
were those spoken by Khadulah. I thought then it was a bad omen, but Miosh assured me it meant Carrie would have to fight her family. Now here we are contemplating the same Challenge, and using the same weapons that took the lives of two telepaths."
"You're being superstitious, Mother. There's a big difference in what we're doing. For a start, Carrie isn't Sholan and she can fight— has even killed— without the trauma we suffer. That puts her two steps ahead of Khadulah already. She can fight Rala on equal terms. Then, if you want to be religious about it, why would the God put them together just to kill them during a Challenge, a religious Challenge at that?"
"What you say is true, but I still feel uneasy. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something's changed."
"What? A person? Circumstances?"
"That's it, I just don't know and it's annoying me. It's to do with Carrie and I feel it's right in front of my eyes if only I could see it." She shook herself. "Enough of that," she said, opening one of her drawers and taking out a small box. "Here's the key to the chest in the shrine. The swords and shields that belonged to Khadulah are in there. Make sure you aren't seen with them. Until the Challenge is issued, we can't afford to have anyone else but Carrie and her guard know, or Konis and Kusac will try to stop her."
"What about the political implications of Father's argument?" asked Taizia, opening the box and looking at the simple iron key that lay within. "That the Council are afraid that Carrie's mental Link to Kusac makes him unfit to hold a position of authority? Should we be going against what is a very sound point, namely that we need to prove Kusac is still capable of leadership with the Clan's interests foremost in his mind? I have to admit that that thought worries me."
"There are other ways to achieve the same result, Taizia," said her mother. "I will never let any of you be sacrificed for politics. I will also never let my personal opinions cloud my judgment when it comes to Clan matters."
"Very well. I'll collect the weapons later tonight and conceal them. Tomorrow, if Carrie, myself, Meral, and Kaid head off for the coast, we can talk about our plan then and Carrie can start practicing." She leaned forward to nuzzle her mother's cheek before leaving.
Carrie woke with a start. As always, a faint glow of light filled the room. Beside her she could hear Kusac's even breathing beginning to change, become faster as, aware of her even in sleep, he began to wake. Retreating behind a barrier that made him think she still slept, she heard his breathing slow again.
When she was sure he wouldn't wake, she slipped from the bed and padded over to the doorway leading to the balcony. The two moons were still in the sky, the larger one dipping near the horizon. It was late, then.
The dream had awakened her again, but this time it had been stronger, less confused. There had been a fight, the sound of shots, and the high-pitched yowls of wounded Sholans. Closing her eyes, she tried to consciously conjure it up. It had begun in the room with the flickering torches. There had been a lone figure running, then falling. No, not falling, climbing downward. The image faded. There had been more, she knew there had been more! She frowned in concentration, finally catching the wayward thread of the dream. As she relaxed her mind, the images started to form once more. A large room, brightly lit, and the same male pacing around it.
Too soon. They found us too soon.
She shivered as a breeze swept across her bare skin, banishing the dream images. Opening her eyes, she saw that the larger moon was beginning to dip behind the hill on the headland. For an instant, she thought she saw the ghostly outline of a ruined building thrown into sharp relief, then it was gone. Another shiver ran through her. One day she'd have to go and look on top of that hill, but it wouldn't be today. She turned back to the room and her warm bed.