fortuneswheel (61 page)

* * *

With a sinuous grace he came across the room, almost stalking her because of his awareness that she was watching his every move. He stopped by the bed and sat down beside her, ears flicking sideways and back, tail gently swaying. In the semidarkness, his eyes glittered as he reached out for her.
"I need you," he said, aware as he spoke that his voice sounded harsher than he had intended. Almost instantly he released her, shaken by the strength of the anger she was directing toward him.
"No," she said, pulling the covers firmly round herself. "If you want to keep yourself apart, then fine, do so— but don't expect to walk in here and make demands of me without a word of apology!"
"Carrie, you know..." he began.
"I know nothing, Kusac!" she said, interrupting him. "You've hardly spoken to me since we found out I was pregnant! You know damned well that nothing is reaching me because you've blocked your mind off. What gives you the right to assume you can walk in here and take me because of our Link? You've taken damned near all of me as it is. Just how much more do you want?"
He was silent for a moment, understanding for the first time that his actions could have completely alienated her. Through the remains of his barrier all he could sense was her anger, none of the gentler emotions he had come to associate with her in the past months. Sudden fear gripped him in the pit of his stomach again as he realized that his behavior in the last few days would have driven many a Sholan female away from him let alone her, a human, Clanless, and pregnant by her alien lover.
"You know what I feel for you," he said, ears flicking backward in acute distress as he touched her bracelet with his forefinger.
"Not any more," she countered, pulling away from him. "For all I know, Rala could have been right. Why did you marry me anyway? If it's going to change what we feel for each other, then you can have this damned thing back!" She tugged futilely at her bracelet, unable to either open it or slip it off her wrist.
Kusac's hand closed over hers. "Don't," he said quietly, raising his eyes to hers and trying not to flinch from the hurt and anger that he saw there. "Forget Rala and what she said. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you, I should have told you about the betrothal from the first."
"So why didn't you?" she demanded, keeping her hand still.
"I was trying to find an honorable solution, you know that," he said. "One that didn't make us outcasts on Shola. If you'd only waited another day, the Challenge would have been unnecessary. As soon as it was known you carried our child, I'd have been free."
"And just how was I supposed to know that?" She tried again to pull her hand free of his.
"How was I to realize you'd be foolish enough to issue a Challenge?" he demanded, tightening his grip on her till he felt his claws begin to extend. "Why didn't you tell me when you suspected you were pregnant?"
"Because I thought it was impossible! Even you refused to believe Vanna at first!"
His ears flicked dismissively. "You were still willing to risk our lives on the outcome of a combat!"
"What are you really angry about?" she demanded. "The Challenge or the baby? You don't want this child, do you?"
Kusac growled, eyes flashing angrily as he grasped her firmly by the upper arms. "Don't even think of getting rid of her," he snarled, shaking her till she fell backward, her weight pulling him down, too. "She's already as precious to me as you are!"
"How dare you accuse me of that!" She struggled against him, trying to push him away. "You were the one who said she should never have been conceived, not me!"
As he tried to hold her still, Kusac felt the sudden flare of raw sensuality triggered by their physical contact. The remaining shreds of his barrier disintegrated abruptly as he felt it course through her, too, bringing them back into full rapport. The reasons for his anger suddenly dissipated as he sensed for himself the sheer terror she was still feeling over the tiny scrap of life they'd created between them. All her anger and sense of betrayal surged through his mind, leaving him in no doubt as to how badly he'd behaved. He realized now that nothing had ever mattered but her and their cub.
At the same time his body had responded instantly to the flood of sensations that had spread rapidly through them both— there was nothing subtle about the biological demands of their Link. He needed to show her that he loved her the only way he, as a male Sholan telepath, knew how.
Mentally he tried to hold back the Link's compulsion while at the same time projecting images of their lovemaking to come— a task made doubly difficult by the fact she was still struggling against him. He transferred his grip, pinning both her hands in one of his, his superior strength more than a match for hers.
Lowering his face to hers, he began to lick round her neck and ears.
"Kusac! Don't!" she said angrily. "This is unfair!"
He ignored her protests and continued his gentle seduction, easing the covers away from her till his hand closed gently over one breast. His mind— hers as well now— was filled with his wonder and joy over the cub that she carried and the fact that her body now truly reflected her status as a mother— feelings he knew she'd caught glimpses of before but he'd never allowed her to experience till now. Beneath him, her movements changed, slowing till she no longer tried to twist away from him.
We've made a cub, Carrie,
he sent, his mouth seeking hers as his hand moved to touch her belly.
Ours! That was
all I regretted when we became Leskas, but the Gods have
given us even that!
The hurt and fear that had dominated her mind began to dissolve as she experienced the shock and disbelief he'd felt at the news, and his fears for the safety of her and their child. The anger that his earlier reactions had caused began to dissipate.
You're pleased?
she sent, but no answer was necessary as he finally lost control of the compulsion and their minds synchromeshed.

* * *

Morning came and with it Garras' departure. Having seen him off, Vanna headed thoughtfully to her office. She didn't regret her commitment to him, quite the opposite in fact. She knew that what she needed now was someone with whom she could have a dependable relationship. Just those few years older than her, Garras was that person, and he had no illusions about being the primary focus in her life. Conversely, he also knew she would never measure him against any other male.
She sighed as she opened the door to her office. Garras was right about Kusac; she should have spoken sooner, but then Mito had been in the way. Now, because she cared for Carrie as well, it was unlikely she'd ever feel easy about making an approach.
Settling herself in front of her comm, she set about contacting Chagda Point to request that they patch her through to Keiss via the
Khalossa.
As she waited, she couldn't help feeling there was a certain inevitability about the way their lives were so tightly bound together.
Half an hour later, after being passed from department to department as each one claimed they couldn't authorize the call, she finally cut the connection and contacted Alien Relations, asking for Clan Leader Aldatan. Within ten minutes of telling Rhyasha what she wanted, she had the suitably chastened head of communications on the space station calling her to tell her that the Sholan HQ on Keiss was waiting to accept her call.
Her efforts were frustrated once again. Dr. Reynolds wasn't at Seaport. They thought he was in Valleytown but couldn't confirm it as they had no comm link to the Terran physician. A scouter would be immediately dispatched, and they would call her back when they had the Keissian in Seaport.
With a sigh, Vanna called the medical facility's main office, informing them of the call she was expecting and requesting that they page her when it came in. That done, she called up all the files Medical had on Sholan obstetrics. There hadn't been much call for that branch of medicine on the
Khalossa
as those females on board who chose to become pregnant usually requested down-time on their home world first.
She then called up the files on Terran physiology that she and her team had compiled on board the
Khalossa.
It gave her some, but not all the information she wanted. She needed to speak to Jack Reynolds. In frustration, she checked the time, finding to her surprise that if she wanted second meal, she would have to leave for the mess now. Closing up her office, she headed down to the basement.
In their wisdom the Telepath Guild had decided that until the Terran integration program was complete, the most appropriate place for their visitors to eat was in the hospital mess. As Vanna joined the queue at the counter, she noticed one or two small groups of Terrans sitting eating. Despite the fact it was nearing the end of the meal time, the hall was crowded but there were a couple of empty tables over in the far corner near the elevator.
As she waited for her choice to be served, she glanced around again, looking to see if there was anyone she knew. As she did, a figure passing in front of her caught her eye. The Terran opened his mouth in a careful smile and nodded before joining the end of the queue.
She frowned, trying to place him. Obviously he knew her, but she couldn't remember him. Then her attention was claimed by the server and she forgot about him.
While she ate, she used her comp pad to review the notes she'd made so far. It came as something of a surprise to find herself being suddenly addressed in Terran.
"Do you mind if I join you?"
Startled, she looked up to see the male who had smiled at her from the queue. "Please do," she said, switching off her comp.
"Thank you," he said, sliding into the seat opposite. "Aren't you the doctor who's considered to be the expert on Terrans? I remember you from the other day. I'm Brynne Stevens."
Vanna's frown deepened. An errant memory plucked at her mind. So much had happened in the last few days. He did look familiar, though.
"We gave each other a static shock, remember? Your friends took you off to sit down. One of them was a Terran girl," he said, picking up his fork and spearing a chunk of meat from his plate.
Vanna's frown cleared. "I remember," she said. "That was Carrie and Kusac."
"The first mixed Leska pair."
"That's right. You'd been asking about them."
"Have you found out yet what caused their Link?"
Vanna shook her head. "No idea. I don't think any one guild can answer that question. If we do find out, it won't be due to us at Medical alone."
"Any idea of how common these Links are likely to be?"
"Again, I've no idea. There have been two in the five or six months since we first contacted your people."
Brynne's empty fork paused in midair. "Then any one of us could suddenly find himself with an alien Leska?"
Vanna's eyeridges rose as she regarded him. "So far it has been female Terran telepaths who've acquired Sholan Leskas, not male Terrans. I should think you've nothing to worry about."
"I didn't mean it quite like that," said Brynne, having the grace to look embarrassed.
"I'm sure you didn't," she murmured, concentrating on her own meal.
Brynne broke the silence that followed. "Look, I haven't exactly made a good impression, have I? It's just that having some medical knowledge myself, I'm naturally interested in these Links. Can we start again?" He held out his hand toward her.
Vanna hesitated, remembering the last time she'd touched him. "We don't shake hands."
"So what do you do?" he asked.
"We touch palms," she admitted.
"Then let's do that as a sign of good faith," he said, turning his hand over so his palm was extended toward her.
At her side, Vanna's pager began emitting an insistent tone. "I've got to go," she said, acknowledging the signal before grabbing her comp in one hand and getting to her feet.
"No hard feelings?" Brynne insisted as he rose, too.
"None," said Vanna distractedly. She turned too sharply, stumbling as she became entangled in her chair.
"Careful," he warned, reaching out to catch her.
With a small cry of distress, Vanna wrenched herself free. Eyes wide, she backed away from him. "Don't touch me!" she hissed in a low voice before whirling round and running for the stairs, aware as she did that she'd attracted the attention of nearly everyone in the mess.

* * *

"I see you made it in time for third meal," said Taizia, looking up from her book as Kusac and Carrie came into the lounge.
"Cheek," said Kusac, cuffing her gently as he passed.
"Let me see your bracelets," she demanded, reaching out to grab his wrist. "Mother says they're beautiful. When did you get them made?"
Kusac stopped, ears flicking ruefully at Carrie. "I ordered them the same day that Carrie ordered my torc," he said, letting his sister turn his wrist this way and that.
She let him go and reached for Carrie's hand, examining her bracelet "Mother was right," she said, "they are beautiful. Why has Carrie's got you hunting on it when yours is only portraits of you both?"
Kusac grinned at Carrie over Taizia's head. "A private joke," he said. "Not for your ears."
"Spoilsport," she said, letting Carrie have her hand back. "Don't worry, I'll worm it out of her before long."
"No, you won't," Carrie said, moving away to sit on one of the adjacent chairs.
"Do you know where Father is?" Kusac asked his sister.
"In the shrine."
That startled him. "What's he doing there?"
Taizia shrugged. "He's been there most of the day. I thought it wiser not to disturb him; so did Mother."
"I think I should join him," he said, heading out of the room.
"The shrine?" asked Carrie. "Kusac mentioned the other day that the weapons were from there."
"It's the household's private room of prayer to Vartra," Taizia said. "The ashes of our ancestors sleep there. If you want to see it, I'll take you later."
"Exactly who is Vartra? When I check through my inherited memories of him, I find it almost impossible to work out what he was supposed to be the God of."
"Essentially He's a Warrior God who fights for peace when the need arises. He's the father figure of all our Gods," Taizia replied, putting her book down. "Some of the older stories credit him with saving our people from the Cataclysm."
"Kusac's mentioned that before. What actually happened?"
Taizia's ears flicked briefly and her eye ridges met in concentration. "Well, according to the stories, there was a global war— Clan fighting Clan— until everything was destroyed and few survivors remained. Vartra called those that were left together and ordered them to set up the guilds and rebuild Shola. Some even tell of him leading bands of Warriors against the lawless ones who tried to prey on the newly formed guild towns. In other versions, the people turned on the telepaths, blaming them for starting the war, and Vartra set up the Warrior Guild to protect them. The stories are supported by the fact that all over our world are the remains of devastated towns."
"You must have some fascinating treasures from those days in your..." She searched for an appropriate Sholan word but couldn't find one. "... museums."
"Museums?" Taizia repeated the unfamiliar Terran word carefully.
"Where you display objects from your past so people now can enjoy seeing them," said Carrie.
"Why would we want to look at things from the past? Anyway, our guild discourages it."
Carrie could feel Taizia's genuine bafflement. "Why should your guild forbid it? Aren't you interested in how your ancestors lived?"
"Why should we be interested? Our guild teaches us that life now is far superior to anything we could have achieved then."
"But I've seen old vases and ornaments not only here but at the guild!"
"Every family has its share of relics kept by our ancestors," said Taizia. "They get bought and sold like anything else unless someone in the family really likes them."
"Don't you have any records of your past?" Carrie was utterly bewildered. This was a side to Sholan culture she hadn't realized existed till now. How could they be so incurious about their race's history?
"Of course we do! The guilds record our achievements and most families keep their own archives, but what we achieve in our own lifetimes is far more important."
"Aren't you at all curious about how they lived just after the Cataclysm? Or how the towns were destroyed?"
"Not me," said Taizia firmly, shaking her head. "There's enough to be done today without worrying about our past. The stories tell us all we need to know about our ancestors and Gods."
Carrie realized that Taizia had said all she was prepared to on the subject of the Cataclysm.
"Have you've got a lot of Gods besides Vartra?" she asked, returning to the original conversation.
"More than you could count! Most people aren't bothered one way or another, religion being a personal matter, with the priesthood to help when needed, but every now and then there's a renewed interest in a more formal belief system. Vartra is the most enduring of the Gods."
"Ghyan, the male who married us last night, is a telepath, yet he's also a priest in the Temple."
"You had a temple wedding?" Taizia grinned. "All the way along the trail Kusac's done what the Clan laws demand. No one will be able to fault your bonding on any grounds! Mother will be delighted."
"Excuse me?"
"In the Clan families it isn't enough to be life-bonded, you have to have observed all the proprieties, like the exchange of torcs, having an acceptable escort to protect your honor if you're female, and then the temple wedding."
"I thought you could pair with anyone you wanted," said Carrie. "Why should escorts be so important because you're betrothed?"
"The succession, of course. The families need to know your children belong to your husband. Even though with you two there could be no doubt now, unless the rules had been followed, then the Council could call your life-bonding into question and have it annulled. Kusac has made sure that accusation can't be leveled against you."
"Ah," said Carrie, digesting this for a moment. "And Ghyan?"
"He's a friend of Kusac's from way back. He's head of our temple at present. He organizes the work of the lay brothers and conducts any services that need to be carried out."
"I thought that the Brothers were those from Kaid's guild."
Taizia looked distinctly uncomfortable. "That's the Brotherhood of Vartra. They're a sub-sect of the Warrior Guild, and they're entirely different from the lay brothers."
"I see," Carrie said slowly, confused over the subtle differences. She gave up trying to understand. Kusac or Kaid would be able to explain it to her. "Why have a telepath in charge?"
"Don't you know nontelepaths believe we can see into people's souls?" Taizia said, adopting a mock serious voice. "Actually, they're not so far wrong, but there aren't very many of us telepaths, so we're spread thinly among the various guilds that need us, which means only one for the main temple in each city."
"Why bother with a shrine in the house if you've got temples, and why the special bond between the Warrior and the Telepath Guilds?"
"You're full of questions today," Taizia said. "As I've already told you, the shrine is where we place the ashes of our family for Vartra to look after. It's also believed by some that we can access the telepathic energy from our forefathers, but I've never come across anyone who can, or who knew anyone who could. As for the relationship between Warriors and telepaths, since we're physically more at risk because of our talent, the Warriors protect us. Ghyan believes that at one time telepaths could fight and that Vartra was a real person who was both a Warrior and telepath, but his views are considered eccentric." She uncurled herself and got to her feet.
"Now enough of the questions," she said. "I'm starving. How about we go and raid the kitchen? Third meal won't be served until Father and Kusac come out of the shrine and that might be some time. Besides, it's been Mother's baking day, so there's bound to be something nice to eat."
Carrie grinned. "Brilliant idea," she said.