Found at the Library (6 page)

“You forgot your other loose end. How are you going to keep Franny quiet?”

“Aw, weren’t you paying attention? I have her wrapped around my little finger. I just have to let her read every novel before release for the rest of my life.” Yeah, sweet little Franny had turned out to be a literary shark.

***

It took several hours, but Ryder finally woke up. When his eyes first began to flutter open, Tommy took hold of his hand in a fierce grip. “Ryder, can you hear me?”

He moaned low and his eyelids fluttered a few more times.

Tommy lifted the head of the bed up a bit so Ryder would be in a better position to awake. Hope and fear battled at what Ryder waking up would reveal about his physical and mental condition.

“That’s right. Come on, bro, come back to me. I need you to wake up.”

Ryder’s hand tightened on Tommy’s. “Tom?” His voice croaked and cracked from disuse.

“Yeah, it’s me. Open up those eyes for me.”

“Wa—water.”

Tommy scrambled to grab the water pitcher off the tray. His hands shook as he sloppily poured some into the glass and inserted a straw. He slipped the straw between Ryder’s lips. “Here’s water. Suck it slowly.”

After two greedy sips on the straw, Ryder’s eyes finally fully opened. He frowned at the room, and then looked toward Tommy in confusion.

“What...?”

“You’re in the hospital. I found you unconscious.” Tommy didn’t make it any further in his explanation because Ryder’s face crumpled.

“No, no, no. It wasn’t supposed to work like this. No.”

A lead ball settled on Tommy’s chest. The heartbreak in that wail tortured him with the pain he could hear in his brother’s voice. But even worse was knowing what he meant. Ryder had never planned to wake up again.

He had tried to kill himself.

***

Four hours later, Tommy sat numb in the waiting room outside Ryder’s hospital room. Ryder had been inconsolable and had become combative, so the medical staff had to sedate him. But before he’d gone under, he’d told Tommy to get out, and never come back.

Tommy didn’t know what to do next. The doctors had advised him to go home, but leaving Ryder when he was in such a bad place didn’t seem right. Phrases like
a danger to himself and others
had been thrown around. They planned to force Ryder into a mental health facility, but that was just a nice way of saying they were going to institutionalize him. Tommy needed to do some research into the place they mentioned, but instead he sat here numb, stunned, and so tired he didn’t know what to do.

Someone sat down beside him, but he didn’t look up. He didn’t care. Everyone needed to leave him alone.

“How’s your brother doing?” the man asked quietly.

Tommy knew that voice. He glanced up into the kind, bright blue eyes of the asshole author. Why was he here? Who the fuck cared?

The man tilted his head like he was waiting for something. Oh, that’s right. He’d asked about Ryder.

Ryder. His brother. Who wanted to die. Tommy had failed him. A shudder rolled over him, and he sank his head into his hands. The pressure on his chest increased. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe.

“Tommy?”

Tommy looked up.

Mac had moved to crouch in front of him, and now he gazed at him with those mesmerizing blue eyes. “Look at me. Come on. I think you’re hyperventilating. Look at me, and follow my breathing. In and out.”

Tommy tried to pull in a breath, but it didn’t work. It felt like something heavy had parked itself on his chest. His heart raced, and he gasped, trying desperately to inhale. Air, he needed more air in his lungs.

Mac grabbed him by his chin to focus him, to force him to look at him.

Tommy concentrated on Mac’s mouth to follow his breathing. Slowly, the panic and heavy feeling on his chest subsided, and he became aware of other things.

Things like...Mac had really amazing lips.

“There you go. You’ve got it. In and out.”

They were so close, Tommy inhaled the cinnamon from Mac’s breath, mesmerized by the beginnings of his five o’clock shadow, and the care and concern in his beautiful eyes. He refocused on those lips. They were very kissable lips, and they parted slightly as Mac’s tongue darted out to moisten them.

Mac’s voice sounded deeper this time. “Okay, I think you got it. But if you keep looking at me like that, we’re both going to be short of breath for a much different reason. And I doubt the hospital would approve of such blatant PDAs.”

Tommy’s gaze swung up to meet Mac’s. His eyes had darkened to navy blue, and desire lingered there. Blood rushed to Tommy’s cock.

Tommy shook off the stupor that had taken hold. What the fuck was he doing? His brother had tried to kill himself, and he was getting horny over a guy—a virtual stranger—in the hallway.

“Why are you here?” he asked Mac, ignoring how his voice cracked.

Mac lifted a paper bag in his hand. “From what I saw this morning, I figured you wouldn’t eat the rest of the day, so I thought you might be hungry by now. I brought you some dinner.”

Tommy stared at the bag. He’d brought him food again? He hadn’t thought about eating since Mac had fed him this morning, but now his stomach gave a loud rumble.

“That sounds like a yes to me.” Mac stood. “Come on. I know a place we can eat in peace.” Mac gently reached down, pulled Tommy to standing, and tugged him down the hall.

Tommy allowed him to lead. Ryder was sedated, and it’s not like he wanted him there in the first place.

Mac guided him into the elevator and then around a mind-numbing maze of halls before opening a door to the outside. They stepped out into a courtyard filled with a variety of benches and small tables. The trees were lit up with holiday twinkle lights, and space heaters kept the outdoor space temperate. Mac took him by the elbow, and led him over to a huge brick fireplace with a roaring fire heating the outdoor area.

Tommy glanced around. There were a few other people out here, but with the way the seating and plantings were done, almost every seating area had a modicum of privacy. He turned to Mac. “How did you know this was here?”

Mac gave a soft smile. “A couple of years back, my mom had pneumonia, and I found out about it. It’s a space maintained by the chapel for people who need some peace of mind but aren’t comfortable in the religious atmosphere inside their prayer space.”

“It’s nice. Thank you.” It was better than nice, but Tommy didn’t know how to express the true depth of his appreciation. Who was this man and why was he helping him?

“No problem. Let’s sit down by the fire, and then we’ll see if I managed to get you any food that tickles your fancy.”

“I appreciate the effort, but you know you don’t have to keep feeding me.”

“No, I don’t have to, but I’m finding I enjoy it.” Mac winked at him before reaching into the bag.

Mac had a fluid grace about him, his moves almost sensuous. If Tommy were to guess, the guy probably ran or bicycled. He might even have a background in dance. He was definitely fit. Today he wore a light purple button-down shirt that made his vivid blue eyes appear even brighter. Over it, he wore a dark brown tweed blazer. It could have been a dressy look, but paired with his jeans and hiking boots, it presented a more of a rugged, outdoorsy effect. It was a look that Tommy liked, especially on this man. But he would probably look even better out of it.

“Tommy?”

Crap, Mac had been talking to him, and he’d zoned out into his little fantasyland where Tommy had been stripping Mac of all those very nice clothes. “I’m sorry. What?”

Mac smirked like he knew exactly where Tommy had disappeared to in his head. “I asked if you wanted a turkey club, Reuben, or the grilled chicken?” Mac grimaced down at the food. “And as I said that, it occurred to me...I hope you aren’t a vegetarian.”

Tommy chuckled. “No, I like my meat.”

Mac’s eyes flashed and darkened, but then he looked back at the bag as if uncomfortable.

What the fuck was he doing, flirting?
Tommy ran a hand through his hair again. Exhaustion made him delirious...and maybe more than a little horny. “Um, I’ll take the turkey club, but they all sound good. Thanks for thinking of it.”

Mac handed him the wrapped sandwich and bottled water. “I got water for drinks. I figured at some point tonight you need to go home and sleep and that would be easier to do if you aren’t buzzing on sugar and caffeine.”

“Thanks,” Tommy said. Mac had really thought all this through. Whatever he wanted from Tommy, it must be huge. Tommy hadn’t forgotten he’d mentioned something along that line this morning. He needed to remember that. Mac wasn’t just here as a nice guy. He wanted something.

“How’s your brother doing?” Mac asked.

Tommy ran a hand through his hair and stared into the fire. How much did he want to tell Mac? He didn’t even know this guy, but it might help to have an outside perspective. He sure as hell didn’t have anyone else to talk to, and he really didn’t like Ryder’s doctors so far.

“In some ways, so much better than expected, but in others, I don’t know.”

“I don’t want to pry, but I’d like to know more,” Mac said softly.

“How long have you lived in Denver?”

Mac frowned at him in confusion. “Over twenty years. Why?”

“Because knowing Ryder’s background helps a little, and if you’ve lived here that long, you probably know the basics. Seven years ago, a high school kid got hurt playing football at DHS. It was their last game of the season...”

Mac nodded slowly. “Yeah, I remember something about that. The receiver took a brutal hit, and he ended up partially paralyzed, right?”

“Yeah. That was my brother, Ryder.”

“Aw, seriously? What’s going on? Has he had some complications from his injury?”

“His life is a complication from his injury. He’s only twenty-five. I don’t know how many of the details you remember...”

“Not many.” Mac shook his head ruefully.

“Ryder was one of those guys in high school who had it all. He was the star of the football team, a new girl every week, good-looking, smart. He was a great football player, but he was even more brilliant than athletic. He already had a full scholarship to MIT based on his academics.”

Mac let out a low whistle.

“I know, right?” Tommy struggled to moderate his tone with the lump in his throat. Being two years older than Ryder, it had been difficult that his brother had led this charmed life while he dealt daily with the complications from a debilitating learning disability. He’d always been so jealous of how easy Ryder had everything. But in one hit, Ryder had lost it all.

“He ended up with a bad concussion and swelling on his brain that left him with mild brain damage and partial paralysis on his left side. He lost everything, including his scholarship. Some days are worse than others for him physically and mentally. In the ultimate irony, he remembers how easy everything used to be, but on bad days he can’t remember his full name. It’s hard. I get that, but I thought he was handling it okay. He does inspirational talks at the local high schools and with sports teams. He has an assistant who helps him on days when things are a bit tougher. She’d told me he had some bad days recently, but I guess there’s been more worse days lately than I realized.”

He should have been there. Thinking about it made it hard to breathe. He should have known, but he’d been so caught up in getting ready for the gallery showing that he’d missed it.

“What happened?” Mac asked and grabbed hold of Tommy’s bouncing leg, helping to ground him.

“He tried to kill himself...an overdose of prescription pills and alcohol. And now he’s so angry that he didn’t succeed.” Tommy’s voice cracked. “He’s alive, and he hates me for it,” he whispered.

“You’re the one who found him?”

Tommy nodded wordlessly. That had been the worst. Ryder’s assistant, Cari, had taken off a two full weeks at Thanksgiving because she was getting married. Ryder had a fill in, but something happened. Cari became worried when she got a weird email from Ryder, and then couldn’t reach him by phone. She’d called Tommy to ask if he could go by and check.

He’d known the moment he walked into Ryder’s house that something was wrong. When he’d found Ryder unconscious on the floor and foaming at the mouth, he thought he’d lost his brother, the only family he had left.

“But he’s here,” Mac said. “So that means you found him in time. They can help get him well again...at least mentally. What’s his prognosis now?”

“Extreme depression and a danger to himself and others. They’re committing him to a fulltime mental health facility as soon as they finish the tests to ascertain he didn’t do more damage to his brain.”

“Is that still a possibility? Wouldn’t they have that figured out by now?”

“Because of the previous damage, his brain is already more vulnerable. Unfortunately, he’s been so violent since he came out of the coma, they’ve been keeping him pretty sedated so they can’t get a good read on the tests.”

“I’m so sorry. The waiting has to be the worst part,” Mac said. “But I don’t understand. Why isn’t anyone else here to help you? I remember seeing your mom on the news when he got hurt the first time. She was very involved and outspoken. Where is she now?”

Yeah, she had been. His mother had loved and protected her two boys to the detriment of everything else, including her own health. “Our mom died from cancer earlier in the year. They caught it too late. She died within three weeks of diagnosis. That’s part of the reason Ryder’s so wrecked. He blames himself for her death.”

“How could he think that if she had cancer?”

“He was insured through the high school when he got hurt, but that insurance was pretty basic. It didn’t cover near what he needed, and our mom only worked as a waitress. She was still paying off his medical bills. He thinks she didn’t go to the doctor earlier because she couldn’t afford it.” And knowing their mom, Tommy agreed. But that didn’t change the fact Ryder wasn’t to blame for their mother not seeking medical attention sooner.

“You don’t have any other family?”

Tommy shook his head. “Our dad died in an Army training mission twelve years ago. But they never even got married. We were his part-time family, when he felt like giving us time. There isn’t anyone else.” It was only the two of them against the world now, and Ryder had tried to leave him here all alone. How could he have done that? What if the next time Tommy didn’t find him in time?