Found (12 page)

88

“Who’s that, Mommy?”

“She’s, uh …” Ashley swung her van around and parked near the garage. “She’s a friend of Papa’s.”

“Oh.” Cole unbuckled his seat belt. “She’s pretty.”

Cole’s comment grated on her. Elaine wasn’t pretty, not really. Nowhere near as pretty as her own mother had been. Elaine was short and gray-haired. She looked ten years older than her father. Not that it mattered-her father and Elaine were friends, nothing more.

Ashley and Cole walked to the front door and found her father sitting on the porch swing. The space beside him was empty, as if…

“Were you sitting here with Elaine?” Ashley stopped and studied her dad’s face.

She motioned to Cole. “Sweetie, go check Papa’s frog pond.” It was in the low forties, warm enough that the sound of frogs was back again. She pointed to the pond. “See if there are any tadpoles yet.”

“Hey, you’re right! The ice is melted!” Cole waved at her father. “See you in a minute, Papa.” He ran full speed toward the pond.

When he was out of earshot, Ashley put her hand on her hip. “Well, am I right?”

“Listen.” Her father raised his brow at her. His tone remained calm. “Elaine’s my friend, and, yes, occasionally she and I sit here on the swing and talk about our lives.”

“Dad…” Ashley gritted her teeth so she wouldn’t say the first thing that came to mind. But even as she hated knowing that Elaine had sat next to her dad, in the place where .her mother had always sat, she knew she was wrong to be angry.

None of them had wanted to say goodbye to her mother. But this was all they had left, life without her. Was her father supposed to live alone the rest of his days, without even a friend?

“Uggh …” She felt the fight leave her. She set the bag of gro 89

ceries on the porch and sank down beside him on the swing. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He put his arm around her. With the slightest move, he set the swing in motion. “Deep inside-” his eyes met hers-“I don’t like it either. But it’s a nice day, and neither of us felt like sitting inside.”

For a few minutes Ashley didn’t say anything. Elaine and her father had a lot in common-both alone without the spouses they’d been with for decades. She watched Cole, bent over the pond, his fingertips in the cold water. Lord, give me the right words. My dad deserves more than my anger. She reached for her dad’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Okay. I’m glad you have a friend.”

“Thanks.” In his voice she heard relief. He patted her abdomen with his other hand. “How’re you feeling?”

“Good.” She sighed. “Tired but good. I feel like a walking house.”

“Your mother always felt that way when she was in her seventh month.” His eyes grew soft. “She used to say I would have to roll her out of the house to the hospital by the time the baby finally came.”

Ashley pictured that for a minute. She would’ve been too young to remember much about her mother as a pregnant woman. But hearing this detail now made her feel closer to her mom. Closer and farther away at the same time. “I miss her so much.”

“Me too.” Her dad’s eyes looked wet. “Even now it’s hard to believe I won’t see her again this side of heaven.”

“I know.” Ashley drew a long breath. “It seems weird, planning a reunion without her.”

Her father smiled, and his eyes glistened. “She’ll be there.”

Ashley nodded. Her dad was right. They couldn’t possibly have a week with all the Baxters gathered in one place and not feel her with them too. Ashley swallowed back the emotion fill

90

ing her throat. She allowed a few seconds transition. “Who’s coming tonight?”

“Everyone around here. Kari and Ryan, Brooke and Peter, and all the kids.” He smiled. “I’ve been looking forward to it all week.”

She still had her fingers around her father’s. It had been a few weeks since she’d asked, and now was as good a time as any. “Have you heard anything?”

Her dad’s expression told her he understood what she was talking about. “Not yet. Nothing but bits and pieces.”

Ashley looked out at Cole. “You wouldn’t think it would take this long.”

“No.” He followed her gaze. “I’m. doing my best, Ashley.”

“I know.” She released his fingers, stood, and picked up the grocery bag. “I guess I just have this dream that somehow we’ll all be together at the reunion.”

She looked at him. “Even our older brother.”

“Yes.” Her father rose and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Any tadpoles yet, Coley? It’s pretty early for them.”

“I think so!” Cole shot straight up and motioned for his grandfather to come. He pointed back at the water. “They’re sleeping, though.”

Her dad chuckled. “Looks like I have a little tadpole hunting to do.”

For a minute she watched him lumber off to be with Cole. This was what she loved about her dad. He cared about his kids and grandkids so much. When he said he’d been looking forward to the dinner, he was telling exactly how he. felt. Never mind that he’d practiced medicine this week or that he’d probably had a hand in saving a few lives because of his daily decisions at work. This was what made him feel alive-being with his family.

Ashley took the groceries inside and in an hour dinner was 91

almost ready. By then, her dad and Cole were inside watching college basketball on TV.

The house began to fill up around six o’clock when Brooke, Peter, and their two girls arrived.

Maddie, who was a year older than Cole, scrambled inside and raced over to him.

She was holding a flutelike recorder. “Coley, I learned a song for you!”

“Really?”

“Yes!” Maddie put the recorder to her lips as the adults filed into the room.

With great effort and care she meticulously played “Mary Had a Little Lamb.” As the song got underway, Cole bounced along to the beat. When Maddie finished, she raised the recorder in the air and began bouncing alongside Cole. “See!” They exchanged high fives. “That was just for you, Coley!”

Cole ran to Ashley. “Can I have one too, Mommy? Please … please can I have a special flute like Maddie’s?”

Ashley gave Brooke a pointed smile. “Wow, thanks, Brooke. Can I bring him to your house for practice sessions?”

Kari and Ryan and Jessie and little Ryan arrived then.

“You missed the concert,” Cole told them.

“Yes.” Ashley grinned at Kari. “Maddie gave a very impressive concert on her recorder.”

Maddie jumped around, excited. “I can do it again, Aunt Ashley! Listen!” She launched into another round.

When she was finished, everyone clapped and laughed, and the atmosphere remained upbeat throughout dinner.

Landon arrived just as they were finishing up, and Ashley felt her heart skip a beat. No wonder Cole saw his daddy as a hero. He looked every bit the part, walking through the door with his uniform smudged from smoke.

“Office building,” he explained. He brushed his knuckles against his dirty cheek and headed for Ashley. “Someone left a

92

coffeemaker on-at least it seems that way.” He leaned down and kissed her, then placed a kiss on the top of Cole’s head.

“Did you save anyone, Daddy?” Cole was on his feet, his eyes bright.

“We rescued an older woman.” He gave a sad shake of his head. “Must’ve gotten confused in the smoke and lost her way. They took her to the hospital, but she’ll be fine. Just a little smoke inhalation.”

Ashley shivered at the words smoke inhalation. It was what had nearly killed Landon in a house fire a few years back. This was the part of his job that always kept her on her knees-in close conversation with the Lord. Every day she placed Landon in God’s hands. Otherwise she would’ve been crazy with worry each time he went to work.

Ashley watched her husband dish up a bowl of chili, grab a few slices of bread, and take his place beside her.

She wrinkled her nose. “You stink.”

“Yeah.” He winked at her. “Fires do that to you.”

“Firefighters put out big blazes in all kinds of buildings.” Cole gave a serious look to Maddie. “They’re also in charge of rescuing people.”

Cole continued his explanation, and after a few minutes Maddie looked at him, her brow raised halfway up her forehead. “Yeah, only 1 already know that, Coley.”

Her comeback drew a laugh from everyone at the table except Cole. He gave his cousin a look that suggested there would be more to the discussion later when the grown-ups weren’t gathered around.

When they finished visiting, they made a conference call to Luke and Reagan and another one to Erin and Sam. Things were busy at both households, but they were all excited about the upcoming reunion.

“You aren’t gonna have that baby early, are you?” Luke’s laugh rang over the tinny speakerphone.

93

The sound of it made Ashley smile. She’d missed Luke more than she had remembered. “The baby’s under strict orders: no birth until mid-April.”

“Good.”

Again they laughed.

By the end of the evening, the family had made plans for everyone to fly in the first Friday in April. Luke and Reagan and their two children-Tommy and Malin, their daughter recently adopted from China-would stay in two of the bedrooms.

Erin and Sam and their four girls-Heidi Jo, Amy, Chloe, and Clarisse-would take the other spare bedrooms, since Erin said the little girls liked the idea of sleeping in the same bedroom. Everyone else would camp out at the Baxter house each night as late as possible or use the cots in the basement.

When the plans were set, Brooke and Peter offered to do dishes. Their dad sat with the kids at the dining-room table, playing Scrabble Junior. Hayley was still using a walker to get around. She couldn’t play, but she stayed interested, watching everything her sister, Maddie, did.

Landon took Ashley’s hand and motioned to the front door. “Wanna take a walk?

It’s not that cold outside.”

She felt her heart soar. She loved this, loved that even now, on a regular day, after a regular dinner, with nothing real to celebrate or mark the moment, Landon still found a way to make every moment special.

Once Ashley had heard a speaker at church, a woman whose message rang with the notion of holding on to every day, every minute. “You must take time to love the people God has put in your life,” she had said.

Landon might as well have written her talk.

Ashley smiled at him and pushed back from the table. “If I can get up.”

He helped her to her feet, and they put on their coats. They held hands as they went out on the porch. The moon was almost 94

full, and it cast a soft light across the porch and driveway. Landon led her down the steps and put his arm around her shoulders.

“You still smell like smoke.” She leaned her head on his shoulder, their steps slow and evenly paced as they headed down the driveway. He was right. It wasn’t that cold outside. “Was it bad, the fire?”

“Not really. Lots of paper. 1 think it burned hotter because of that. Boxes of kindling, that sort of thing.”

“You were safe, though?” She stopped and turned into his arms. She’d been wearing flatter shoes lately. They weren’t as hard on her back, with the extra weight she was carrying. Now she felt short next to Landon.

“Perfectly.” He grinned at her, his expression alive with love and hope and an adoration that had been there since he was a teenager. He brushed his hand along the back of her head. “Has anyone ever told you … you have the most beautiful hair?”

She gave a sad laugh. “I miss her. Irvel. Cole and 1 stopped by Sunset Hills today.” Irvel had been Ashley’s favorite patient when she worked at the home.

Irvel had taught her much about love and life. And always the dear old woman would tell Ashley how lovely her hair was. Even if she’d just said so five minutes earlier.

“I’m glad you still stop in.” He allowed his smile to fade some. “Have they replaced Edith?”

“Yes.” She bit her lip. “Helen and Bert are doing well.”

“Hey.” He was studying her, looking as starry-eyed as he had when they had first started dating. He crooked his finger and placed it beneath her chin. “I’m serious about the.compliment, though. Have I told you how beautiful you look?”

She arched her back and made an exaggerated push of her belly. “Oh, sure.”

“No, I’m serious.” There wasn’t even a hint of teasing in Landon’s voice. “I look at you and I see love the way God meant 95

it to be. New life growing out of a relationship only He could’ve put together.”

He brought his lips to hers and kissed her slowly, tenderly.

Ashley returned his kiss, amazed at the passion between them even now. When she eased back, her voice was huskier than before. “Think we’ll still have time for this … when the baby comes?”

“We might not have time for eating-” he kissed her, nuzzling his face against hers-“but we’ll have time for this.”

They started walking again. “Cole kicked a boy at school today.”

“What?” Landon hesitated, searching her eyes as if maybe she were joking. “That doesn’t sound like Cole.”

She raised one eyebrow at him. “He was trying to be a hero. Like you.” She laughed at the memory. They fell back into an easy pace. “Actually, he was. The boy he kicked was bullying a handicapped child.”

“Oh.” Landon smiled. “I hope I don’t have to punish him for that.”

“I think the principal already took care of it.” She laughed again. “It was hard keeping a straight face earlier. He’ll have to tell you the story.”

They were quiet for a minute. Finally Landon stopped and faced her again. He looked up at the moon, the stars. “Can I confess something?” His eyes found hers, and for the first time in a long time, she saw something other than easygoing confidence and love looking back at her.

She saw fear.

“Anything, Landon.” She felt no sense of alarm, but she didn’t blink, didn’t want to miss whatever was coming.

He drew back and cupped his hands gently around her abdomen, around the place where their baby was just starting to kick. “Sometimes I’m afraid.”

96

“Afraid?” The moment seemed surreal. Ashley had the certainty that she would remember this walk as long as she lived.

“Of the birth, of whatever you have to go through.” He swallowed, his eyes wider than before. “I couldn’t stand it if anything happened to you, Ash.”