Fourth of July (8 page)

“Just go in,” the nurse said from behind her desk. “She never answers the door, if she’s asleep you can leave a note.”

“Thank you,” Alexis’ gut tightened. ‘She never answers the door?’ Carla obviously wasn’t dealing well.

Cracking the door, she slipped inside and approached the hospital bed. Carla’s hollow gaze held hers. Monitors blinked around Carla’s bed. The sun’s warmth couldn’t penetrate the dark blinds covering the room’s only window. The smell of antiseptic and sickness did nothing for Alexis’s nerves or stomach.

“Alexis,” Carla murmured. “I’m glad it’s you and not another one of those nurses.”

“How are you feeling?” Alexis leaned down to squeeze Carla’s hand.

Carla’s dark hair lay in clumps around her heart-shaped face. Her hazel eyes focused on the wall behind Alexis, but she attempted a smile. “As good as I can be.” Carla pushed an uneaten tray of food out of the way, gesturing for Alexis to sit.

Alexis sat on the edge of a stiff, imitation-leather chair next to the bed and forced herself not to focus on all the white bandaging on Carla’s arms and torso.

“I’m so sorry,” she offered, though she knew it wasn’t much.

“Yeah,” Carla studied her broken fingernails.

“Would you like to talk?”

Carla shrugged. “What’s there to say? Nothing can change.”

“I know.” There was an awkward pause. “I just wanted you to know I’m here for you if you need me.”

“Thanks.” Carla sighed, shrugging her thin shoulders. “It just doesn’t seem real.”

Alexis nodded. “I’m sure.”

Carla’s eyes locked on hers, panic in her expression. “Is he really gone?”

Alexis gulped. She reached over and wrapped her hand around her friend’s long fingers. “I’m sorry, Carla.”

Carla squeezed her eyes shut, silent for a moment and then the words began to spill out. “I keep hoping someone will tell me I heard wrong. One minute we were watching a band and then everything exploded. John somehow shielded me from the worst of it.”

She grabbed the blanket, twisting it between he fingers. “His clothes were burning. His face looked.” She shuddered. “Horrible. He held onto me, screaming, until…” her voice caught. She cleared her throat, then continued. “It’s like he realized he was hurting me and he just let go.”

Carla looked past Alexis. Alexis waited. After several minutes Carla focused on her again.

Carla blinked rapidly, but the tears spilled out anyway. “He’s gone.”

The silence stretched on as Carla wept and Alexis sat nearby allowing her to simply release her grief. She studied the clean walls, a lone picture of a flower broke up the monotony. Her eyes returned to her friend swallowed up in the white hospital bed.

“I just can’t believe he’s gone. Can’t imagine my life without him.” Carla managed through her tears.

Alexis moved closer and patted Carla tenderly on the left shoulder, the only spot that didn’t appear damaged. She murmured soft words of understanding as Carla’s body shook.

The tears finally slowed from a torrent to a gentle stream. Carla sniffed. Alexis reached for the box of tissue next to the tray of food.

“I can’t go on.” Carla’s eyes focused on the tissue she was wringing in her hands. “I don’t want to live without him.”

“I’m sure it will feel that way for a while, but you have to keep trying. Would John want you to give up?”

“No,” Carla admitted, shaking her head. “He was always so proud of me. He called me,” her voice caught. “He called me, ‘the best little wife in the world.’ But now I’m not.”

Alexis started to protest.

“Alexis,” Carla interrupted her. “I found out last week,” she paused. “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, wow,” Alexis didn’t know what to say as she held Carla’s hand. Words wouldn’t salve these wounds.

“I should be happy, but...” she gestured with her hand. “Well, just look at me. I’m beat. My doctor is worried about the baby’s health. I can’t stand to lose my baby after losing John. I wouldn’t make it. I need the baby to be okay, but at the same time I don’t know if I want to raise our baby without John. He was so excited to be a dad.” Carla’s wails escalated.

Alexis soothed her distraught friend, attempting to offer her some comfort. Twenty minutes later, she stood. She hated to leave, but couldn’t delay returning to the office any longer.

“I’ll come visit you soon. How long do you think you’ll be here?”

“A couple of days,” Carla shrugged. “I don’t want to go home and face our house.”

“I understand,” Alexis said, but she didn’t understand at all. She didn’t understand Carla’s loss, didn’t understand what it was like to love someone as deeply as Carla loved John. She didn’t even understand what it was like to have someone to come home to.“I’ll see you soon.” Alexis turned away.

“Alexis,” Carla’s voice stopped her. “Thanks for coming.”

“Of course. I wish I could help more.”

“You helped.”

Walking from the room, Alexis moved down the gray hall. Her footsteps soft on the industrial carpet. Wrapped up in her own thoughts, she looked up too late to avoid a large bouquet of flowers looming in her path. She almost ran into the person carrying them.

“Excuse me.” She stepped aside so she wouldn’t be knocked over.

The flowers moved, revealing a handsome, familiar face.

“Half-pint.”

Chris sounded surprised—and did she dare hope—pleased to see her. His lips parted revealing straight, white teeth, a strong contrast to his olive skin. “I’m trying to find Carla,” he said.

Alexis nodded. “I just came from her room. It’s the next door. I’m sure she’ll be grateful for the visit.”

“How’s she doing?” His expression grew serious.

Alexis shrugged, glancing past him as a nurse rushed by. “She’s having a hard time, which is to be expected. She looked really tired when I left.”

“I won’t stay long.” He shifted the vase to his left hand. “I just wanted her to know I was thinking of her.”

Alexis glanced at the roses, daises, and carnations then back to his face. “That’s nice. It’s hard to visit someone who’s grieving.”

“Yeah, I don’t really know what to say,” Chris confided.

“I know. It’s always hard for me to know what to say in situations like this, but I find that people just open up.”

“Yeah, to you maybe. You’re all warm and kind and stuff like that.” He smiled. The somber mood lifted and Alexis felt the warmth of his twinkling gaze.

“Oh.” Alexis arched an eyebrow, unable to resist returning his smile. “And you’re not warm and kind and stuff like that?”

“Not really.” Chris squirmed, shifting his gaze to a painting of a sailboat on the gray wall.

“You’re pretty nice to me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re easy to be nice to.” He flashed her another smile.

“Thanks. I’d better go. I’ve got an appointment. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine with Carla.”

She reached out to pat his right arm. His firm flesh under her fingers was pleasant. His eyes dropped to where her hand rested on his forearm. Alexis jerked back in embarrassment, clearing her throat. “Just listen to her. Be there for her.”

“Okay.” Chris licked his lips and took a deep breath. His gaze fell to her hands again, then raised to study her. “It was good to see you, Alexis.”

He’d never said her name before. It rolled off his tongue like a butter cream dipped in milk chocolate. He disappeared into Carla’s room with his huge bundle of flowers before she could reply.

“You, too,” Alexis said to the closed door. She flexed her fingers, still feeling his muscular arm in her fingertips.

THE CHARITY AUCTION-TURNED-MEMORIAL service was in full swing Friday night when Alexis and Robert arrived. Alexis nodded in approval when they entered the huge ballroom. Hundreds of flags descended from the two-story ceiling. The elaborate cherry woodwork was decorated with red, white, and blue ribbons. Americana oil paintings adorned the walls. It was a beautiful display of patriotism.

Robert ushered her further into the room. He ordered drinks for them before attaching himself to a group of people who could further his political ambitions. Growing bored of the conversation, Alexis focused her attention on the elaborate makeup and clothing of the partygoers. Handsome men bedecked in tuxedos and beautiful women adorned with Prada, Gucci, Carolina Herrera and other designers Alexis didn’t care to splurge on. She’d rather put her money away to take care of her sister and niece someday.

Perusing the spacious room, she had a difficult time relating to the gaiety displayed. Glasses sparkled with liquor, women laughed without abandon, and men devoured the women with their eyes. Thousands of innocent people were murdered three days ago, yet the people in attendance at this memorial service seemed to be merely enjoying another upscale party.

Alexis wanted to climb onto a linen-covered tablecloth, kick the floral centerpiece with her high-heel and scream at the top of her lungs.
Don’t any of you realize what has happened, please show a little sympathy!

If this was her date’s idea of a good time, she hoped he wouldn’t call again. She gazed up at Robert, deciding she didn’t like his tall, athletic frame after all. She preferred someone closer to 5’10”, well built, with dark, wavy hair and chocolate eyes. She shivered. Her infatuation with Chris was getting out of hand.

Alexis’ eyes widened. There he was, not twenty feet away. Chris. She blinked again just to make sure he was real and not a figment of her overactive imagination.

“Oh, man.” She ducked behind Robert, hoping to shield herself from her fantasy man’s view.
What is he doing here?

“Alexis?” Robert questioned. “What are you doing back there?” He reached around with his hand, dragging her into the tight-knit group. The members of the circle eyed her curiously.

“Sorry,” Alexis’s cheeks flamed red. “I was just...looking at something.”
More like hiding from someone
.

She didn’t attempt to participate or even act like she cared about the flow of conversation. She just couldn’t do it. She snagged a couple of tasty appetizers as servers circulated them through the room. Robert eyed her questioningly more than once.

Alexis kept noticing Chris through a crack in the wall of people. His tall, beautiful girlfriend clung to his arm.

His girlfriend is too tall. She looks ridiculous with all that black hair piled on top of her head. Maybe she and Robert could get together.
Alexis stopped her petty thoughts. They wouldn’t bring Chris away from his date and to her side. She looked at Robert again. She’d come to the party with him. It wouldn’t be right to be dwelling on another man. Even if that man was Chris.

Pretending Chris and his girlfriend weren’t there, she focused on the group’s present topic. They were discussing the horrible events of Wednesday morning. Alexis realized she was being judgmental, but their remarks seemed insincere and callous.

“It’s just terrible,” a large, middle-aged woman stated, clucking her tongue in disapproval. “I’ve been so affected.”

Alexis appreciated her compassionate observation, but couldn’t keep her eyes off the woman’s ensemble. One size too small for her generous frame, the lady’s dress clung to curves Alexis wished she hadn’t seen. The dress was exquisitely made and expensive jewelry draped from her earlobes, bodice, wrists, and fingers, Alexis could only assume she held stock in Tiffany’s.

“I had a wonderful party planned last night, complete with the most amazing fireworks you could imagine,” the woman continued.

Alexis’ eyes widened, her eyebrows almost connecting with her hairline. She bit her tongue to contain a gasp of outrage.
Who gave a flip about the woman’s fireworks?

“Because of those awful terrorists I had to cancel my party. It would have appeared unsympathetic if I would have hosted the party. You know, considering the
incident
and all.”

So now the terrorist attack was reduced to an incident?

The others in the circle murmured their condolences for the cancelled party. They all agreed it would not have been right to proceed, given the circumstances.

Judge not that ye be not judged
, Alexis kept repeating to herself.
Be quiet. Don’t say what you think. Forget that. I’m giving her a piece of my mind.

“I wonder,” Alexis began quietly, “if you could stop and think for a moment about those people whose lives were tragically cut short Wednesday and the impact the bombings had on their family and friends.” Her eyes flashed as her voice increased in volume. “Or maybe if you focused on those who received incapacitating injuries. Or,” she continued, despite the gasps from several in the group, “maybe you could think of those rescue workers who have been working to help the injured and clean up the aftermath. I wonder how they would feel about you having to cancel your
party
.”

“What?” the woman cried out. “What do you mean?”

“I mean.” The words squeezed between Alexis’ teeth. “You could try thinking of someone besides yourself for a minute.”

“Oh!” The lady’s jaw dropped several inches. She eyed Alexis as if she were a despicable insect she’d like to crush with her heel. “What is
she
saying?” Her glance swiveled to Robert. ”Robert! You’ve been raised properly. You know no one speaks to me that way. Is your little date really trying to infer
that I am insensitive?”