Fractured (The Volkov Mafia Series Book 3) (9 page)

“Are you going to be ok doing that?” I see the concern in his eyes and it melts my heart that little bit more knowing that he is so concerned about us.

“I will be fine, Malc, it’s only up the road and I need to get out of this house. I am not running.” I reassure him as best I can, I know he will think I am running after last night and we are yet to talk about it, we can’t fall into the old ways, we can’t. He needs more, but at the moment I am not sure I can give it. Just as he is about to speak Faith comes to the door with the most stunning little girl I have ever seen. She has her dad’s dark hair but she has Faith’s emerald eyes and they are the brightest green I have ever seen. Malc just nods at me and walks away, leaving Faith and me to get on our way.

“He never has been a chatty one,” Faith says as we head out of the door, but I know different. I know the man behind the façade.

“He is to me,” is all I say as we head out of the door and make our way to the park.

Malc

I gave in to her. All day it has been pissing me off, I let her see me weak last night but I refuse to let her see the emotion she has drawn from me.

I caved last night and gave her what she needed. I hate that feeling I get when I do it, but the way her body pleads with me, the way her eyes bore into my soul, begging me to give her what she craves. And I’m the puppet, bowing to its master, having its strings pulled. When it’s over I crave the intimacy that follows but last night I could not make myself do it, I turned over and tried my hardest to fall asleep without her in my arms. I know what I need and at the moment she is still not ready to give it to me, but with time she will be mine. Heart, body and soul.

Camilla and Faith have taken the kids to the park. I heard them arguing this morning, I was dying to go in and say something but this was a battle I could not help her with. She had to get it out in the open so that she can get over her issues with Faith and move on.

In the office Damien is sat behind his desk, my father and Alekzander are sat on the spare chairs; I take my place standing at Damien’s side and I wonder what is on the agenda for today. Since coming back from Russia and Scotland I have not done any real work and I am itching to sink my teeth back into some hard work.

“Right, we have a couple of things to deal with today. The new shipment of guns is in, and we have about three people who are behind on their payments that need a little nudge. Malc, you want to sort that out? Take the kid with you. Anton you’re with me.” Damien’s orders are clear, no slacking off anymore; it’s costing him money.

“Come on, Alek, we will take the SUV, we have a couple of people to go and see.” Of course, his Russian accent is much stronger than my dad’s, he pronounces every word with great care. The Russian words he speaks flow from his mouth effortlessly, but when he is speaking English you can see how he sometimes struggles to find the right words, or he will miss certain joining words.

We head out of the office to the garage to get the SUV, the impressive lineup of cars is vast. I walk over to the black SUV and open the door – the keys are inside each vehicle because there is no need to lock them up; security is too good for anyone to slip past unnoticed.

“Check the email on my phone and tell me the first address of who we need to go and see.” He does not reply, just nods at me, pulls out my phone, checks the emails and tells me where we are heading. The rest of the journey into London is quiet.

Pulling up to the first warehouse, I notice nothing suspicious as we go through the door and head to the office. No point stalling, we have a few people to go and see today.

“Ahh, Mr.… sorry your name has slipped my mind, to what do I owe the pleasure?” His weak British voice goes through me, nothing worse than a man pretending to be something he is not. The middle aged bald man sat behind the desk, overloaded in chunky gold, trying to elevate a false sense of status. I don’t buy it. I can see the phoniness of it just looking at him, the sweat that is forming on his bald head, the flicking of his eyes between me and Alek, trying to size us up. Well, he won’t have to guess too much longer.

“We are here on behalf of Damien Volkov. It seems you are behind on your payment this month.” I watch his face pale as realisation sets in that we are not here to conduct business with him, only to collect and serve a warning that he can’t be late again.

“Oh… I… we have been slow this month. I did not have the funds to make the full payment.” His voice trembles with his words, this is what I have been missing, the power that comes with my position. I don’t have to report back to Damien with what needs to be done because he knows that I will get this guy to pay, if not he will be the next example.

“I see,” I say, trying to forgo interest in his words, when really I don’t give a rat’s arse; I’m going to seriously enjoy this. To work out the tension that has been building at home, the desire to cause pain, my blackened heart craves the pain too much.

“Now, what leg would you like broken?” I give him the option; see, I’m good like that, at least they will know it is coming.

“No need for that. I have the money here, see.” I look down as he opens the top drawer of his desk and pulls out a huge stack of notes. See this is what pisses me off; he had the money all along. He just wanted to see if we would do anything about it if he didn’t pay up on time. You would think that they would learn but they never do.

“Now you have just pissed off a rattlesnake more. You think it is funny to withhold funds that you owe?” I look to Alek; his eyes seem to sparkle at the sight of the money just sat in a pile on the table. “Alek, take the payment,” I demand, he steps forward to tentatively take the money from the top of the desk. Now to show this clown that he can’t be late again. I walk behind the desk and grab the scruff of his very tacky vinyl suit, you can see how plastic it looks, the brown suit looks more like someone has vomited all over him. Pulling his overweight body up out of his chair is easy for someone of my size. I sneer at him when he is fully standing, his lip trembles a little at my stare.

“You won’t be missing anymore payment I presume?” He just nods profusely at my words, trying his hardest to get his breathing under control, hoping that this is the end of what I am going to do to him, little does he know.

“Lesson time,” I bellow at him as I bring my foot up and slam it hard down on his left kneecap. The sickening crunch and the scream of pain that leaves his mouth is enough to know that I have hit my mark. I release my hold and watch with a satisfied smile on my face as he drops to the floor, trying and failing to clutch the injured knee. Without another word I turn and leave, the look of horror across Alek’s face is priceless, but he is going to have to learn how to mask his emotions if he is going to be in the family business.

It is six pm by the time we get back to the house. We have managed to collect all of what Damien is owed with only a few broken bones. A sense of calm comes over me as it sinks in that I am going to see my girl and my boy, my lips curve slightly into a small smile as we drive up to the garage. The house is quiet when we make our way back inside and we head straight to the office so I can put the cash in the safe. I hold out my hand when we get into the office and Alek pulls out the money and places it in my hand. He looks slightly reluctant to let it go – his eyes never leaving the cash – but I put it down to it being a long day and send him on his way. Damien and I are the only ones who know the combination to the safe, and I want to keep it that way.

I don’t see Damien on my way back out of the office so I make my way to the kitchen to see if anyone is around. I see Faith sat at the table spoon-feeding Anya some mulch, what can I say it does not look tasty. I take my seat across from her. “Where are Camilla and Charlie?” I ask her, trying not to sound like a lovesick puppy, wanting to know where my woman is.

“Hi Faith… How are you?... I’m fine, thanks… How are you? Nice to see you have the art of conversation to a T, Malc, would it have killed you to say hi first instead of demanding? I tell you, you’re both the bloody same, see your woman and go all bloody caveman.” I laugh a little at her running commentary on how the conversation should have gone. “She is taking a nap with Charlie. The park and walk really wore her out.” I nod at her answer to my question. Faith is good for Damien, after their rocky start things have settled down for them both and it’s nice to see my friend so in love. He deserves to have happiness in his life. It just seems I don’t and every time I try to be happy I lose that feeling one way or another, it always comes crashing down around me.

I leave the table mumbling a see you later to Faith. Dinner should not be too much longer so I will go and wake them so they can get ready. The sight that greets me on the bed has my heart pounding in my chest, her hair is longer now – the blue tips are nearly at her shoulder. She lies on her side, eyes closed, wearing only one of my shirts and a black lace thong that I can see peeping out from under my shirt. It takes all of my restraint not to kneel on the bed and start placing kisses up her bare legs. Instead I head over to the bed and kiss her cheek gently, calling her name quietly to wake her. I am greeted with a warm smile as she says my name, and damn if it does not make my trousers uncomfortable, hearing my name leave her stunning mouth.

“Hey,” she says to me. “Where have you been?” she questions me.

“Been at work, sweetheart,” I tell her. I’m immediately aware of what I’ve said and this is what I mean. Every single time I feel happy something or someone, myself included, always fucks it up. I see her close her eyes for a second and I know what’s next, it’s always the same. When something sets off the panic she needs to ground herself, make herself forget what has caused the pain. Using her coping mechanism, I can’t do it, not when she goes blank on me like this. I can’t let her use me, I want her to come to me because she wants me and not because her mind is telling her she has to. I pull up from the bed and move away from her, sitting myself in the chair near the cot where Charlie sleeps peacefully.

“Malc, please, I need you,” she whispers, and I know I’m going to stay strong and deny her. I have to, if I don’t we will just get into the same pattern that caused me to lose her the first time.

“No, Camilla, I won’t do it because you need it, the next time we have sex it will because you love me and want me, not just to make you forget until the next time your mind tells you that you can’t cope.” I am to the point with my words and it splits my heart in two knowing that I am causing her pain. But what else am I supposed to do? I won’t lose them again; they mean too much to me to sacrifice them just so I can keep fucking her. No matter how much I love being deep inside her.

“Do you need me to get Charlie up so we can go down for dinner?” I ask her, hoping that it will distract her from my last words, the quicker I get her past this little meltdown the better.

“Just leave, Malc, I will bring him down in a couple of minutes.” The tone of her voice is hurt and I can’t bring myself to look at her because I know if I do I will crumble, I will walk right over to that bed, flip her over, rip her thong away and fuck her so hard that she pushes up the bed, begging me to stop. So instead I make my way to walk out of the room like she asked me to, it’s better this way.

“Malc, I don’t want to stay here, please, it’s killing me. Everywhere I go I see him haunting me, I told you I couldn’t come back, that it would destroy me. I don’t want this life, Malcolm, I don’t want our son anywhere near where that scum has been. Please, Malc, I just can’t do it anymore.” By the time she finishes she is in tears and I don’t care what I said, my resolve crumbles. I run over to her and wrap her in my arms and hold her. I let her cry, stroking my hand gently up and down her back to try to get her to calm down and come back to me.

“Ssh, baby, it’s ok. I got you,” I whisper into the top of her head. “I won’t let anything happen to you again,” I promise her, trying to reassure her that I will do whatever it takes for her, for them.

After what seems like ages, her chest finally stops heaving, she pulls away and wipes her face on the sleeve of my shirt and I don’t care if it is covered in mascara now. She is beautiful whether she is dolled up to the nines with her trademark heels on, or like this – red rimmed eyes, her hair wild, sat on the bed in my shirt. She is mine and I love every inch of her, inside and out. Most people would not want her after everything she went through, but they don’t see what I do: the love that she has to offer, the tenderness when she carries my son in her arms, the passion that she has when we make love, the compassion she has for everyone around her.

I will do whatever it takes to heal her fractured heart, body and soul. If that means walking away from this, then that is what I must do because she deserves all of me.

“Come on,
Krasivaya, let me take you home.”

“What does Krasivaya mean?” she asks me tentatively.

“It’s Russian for beautiful,” I tell her. I don’t use Russian that often around anyone except my father as he is fluent. Damien is speaking it more now since he met Faith, before that he just refused after what happened with his father and sister. Bella, Damien’s sister, was sold. His father kept it from him that he had sold her for his own gain, but Damien hunted her down. He was too late to save her, though, he found her dead and killed everyone who had a part in it, including his own father. To say he was lost until he found Faith is an understatement, but now he is like he was before – still does what needs to be done but loves his girls more than life itself, he will not ever lose them.