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I walked into
George’s Place
where my dad was standing in the doorway. He looked nervous and I felt sorry for him because I couldn’t even imagine how he must have been feeling. I now felt horrible for staying away for such a long time, and I was overwhelmed with the desire to put my arms around him. So, that’s exactly what I did.
“Hi,” he said with a chuckle, “Good to see you too, Em!”
I pulled away and smiled. “Hi Dad.”
We got a booth in the back and ordered coffee right away. The second the waitress was gone I looked at him and said, “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
“For not doing this sooner.”
My dad smiled. He seemed a little sad, but generally he looked pretty good. “Well, I can’t blame you for being mad at me. I did a terrible thing.”
“Yeah, you did,” I said sadly, “But I should have reached out to you sooner and heard your side of the story. What
is
your side of the story, by the way?”
Dad took a deep breath. “I never, ever cheated on your mother all these years. And then, I met a woman I was attracted to. She noticed me. She paid attention to me. She made me feel young and attractive. And I acted on it. I couldn’t believe I was doing it, but I did. I felt so guilty, believe me, but that didn’t stop me.”
Just then the coffee arrived. As he put sugar and cream in his, he asked the waitress for some milk.
I smiled, touched by the gesture. “I can’t believe you know how I drink my coffee,” I said.
My dad just smiled at me and I felt like a little girl at that moment. “So,” he said softly, “Your sister hates me. Do you?”
“Are you crazy?” I replied, “I could never hate you. Neither could Laura.”
“She told me I’m no different than Alan.”
“You’re not.”
“Maybe I’m worse,” he said.
“No way!” I said with a laugh.
“Em, I don’t know what happened. I love your mother so much, and I hate myself that I did this to her. If I could take it back, I would in a second.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Emma, I want to get back together with your mother.”
“Oh my God!” I exclaimed, “Really?”
“Yeah, but doesn’t she have a boyfriend now?”
“She told you?”
“Actually, Edna and I saw them a few days ago at the mall. They didn’t see us, though.”
“Mrs. Feldman’s first name is Edna?” I asked, holding back laughter.
“Yeah, why? Is that funny?”
“Forget it.”
“So, your mother…is it serious?”
“What? Mom and Henry?”
“That’s his name? Henry?”
I nodded. “What about Edna?” I emphasized the name Edna.
“It’s over. I swear to God. I’ll never see her again. I promise. I want your mother back. I want my wife back.”
“Because you saw her with another man?”
“No,” he said, “Your mother had every right to start dating. This isn’t about jealously, although the thought of Helene with another man is killing me. But the thing is, I don’t love Edna. I loved one woman in my life. Helene. That’s who I love and that’s who I want. Em, how am I going to get her back?”
“Dad, I can’t even believe how great this is!” I put my hand over his across the table and said with a grin, “I’ll help you. Laura will help you too.”
He looked up at me. “Thanks, Em. Boy, I’m a real dickhead.”
“Um…people can hear you.”
“Is it true or not?”
I smiled, “No. It’s not true. You just got confused and you made a bad call. A really bad call. But I get it. I’ve made a couple of those myself.”
“You’re doing just fine, my sweet Emma.”
“I love you, Stan,” I smiled. A tear ran down my cheek.
The second I left the restaurant, I texted Laura. “Call me! It’s important.”
Less than a minute later my phone rang, and I got a huge surprise that cracked me up.
“
I kissed a girl and I liked it…the taste of her cherry Chapstick…
” sang Katy Perry on my phone. Laura had secretly changed my ring tone after I told her about Alice.
“Very funny,” I said when I answered.
“What?”
“My ringtone.”
“Well, now that you’re a lesbian, I thought it would suit you. What’s so important?”
“Guess who wants to get back together with Mom?”
Laura screamed really loud, and I told her she was being dramatic.
“Maybe you’re rubbing off on me,” she giggled.
We decided we had to come up with some kind of plan to sit our mother down and sell her on the idea of giving her husband a second chance.
“Tonight, after Isabelle goes to bed.” I said.
“Wine and salsa?”
“Perfect.”
“Hey, Laura?”
“Yeah?”
“Please call him.”
“I was planning on doing that right now.”
I hung up with my sister and suddenly felt inspired. My salsa business was becoming a reality, I had had a great talk with my father, and my parents were headed toward reconciliation. What a great day! And I realized, I had
made
it that way. And I had the power to make
every
day like this, just by doing things I liked, and doing the right things. I had so much more control over my happiness then I ever thought was possible.
.
E
arly the next morning, 6:03 to be exact, I was sitting in my car watching Luke from a distance. He was at the start of the jogging path, stretching and waiting for me. I had texted him the night before, and told him I wanted to talk to him. His response was that I should meet him for a jog at 6:00. It seemed more like a command rather than a suggestion, and since I was the one who was hanging my head, I followed orders.
Even with his bed head and middle-aged tummy, Luke looked adorable to me. I thought about what it would be like to sleep with him, to be naked and to have his arms wrapped around me. It made me happy, but then it made me feel a little foolish because I was here to make amends with Luke. I wasn’t here on a date with him. I had
never
dated him. Not even once. So, the fact that I’d acted possessive and psychotic two nights earlier was ridiculous and childish.
At the time, I was too closed-minded to respect his reasons for keeping things between us platonic. I didn’t want to accept him the way he was. Now, with my new attitude, I embraced Luke as a lovely person, someone I adored, and a friend I wanted in my life, on the condition of what he was willing to give. No more than that. I now accepted him with no expectations, just an appreciation for his enriching my life in a way. And now, it was time to tell him this, with a major apology included.
“Hurry up, girl!” Luke joked as I walked toward him. He looked at his watch. “It’s 6:04!”
I stood there speechless.
“What?” he asked with a big grin. His smile made me feel like a child. Flashes of Izzie’s cute face popped into my head because I knew the look I had on my face at this moment was the exact same expression my daughter used when she was trying to say sorry for something.
Luke said with a kind smile, “Forget about the other night.”
I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Luke, I’m so sorry. I was completely out of line. I didn’t mean those things I said.”
“What things?”
“I don’t want to be friends with you…You’re a shitty friend…”
“There’s some truth to that.”
“No, Luke,” I said sternly, “You’re a good friend. A really good friend.” I took another deep breath and continued, “The thing is, I really like you. The other night, instead of yelling at you I should have told you that. I really like you and I don’t understand why you don’t want to see me more. I’m not asking to be your girlfriend. I’m talking about being friends. Just friends. Want to be friends with me?”
Luke seemed a bit taken aback.
“Do you?”
“Let me ask you something,” he said, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”
“What?”
He repeated, “How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. What are you trying to say?”
“Think about it, Emma. Do I want to be friends with you? Yes, I do. But how many times do you think we could go out and have coffee, or see a movie, or have dinner, or drinks? How many times do you think we could do that and stay platonic friends?”
“Who cares? Why does that matter?”
“Because it does,” he exclaimed, “Look, I don’t want to be platonic friends with you because I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because.” Luke put his head down.
“Please, just tell me,” I said gently.
He looked up at me. “My wife wants to try to work things out.”
Talk about a shocker! “Really?”
“Yes. I didn’t want to say anything because I don’t know what’s going to happen. But for my boys’ sake, I feel like I have to try. And if I’m going to make it work, I can’t have any other relationships with women.” He put his head down again and said, “Especially you.”
We stood there in silence for what seemed like a really long time, Luke unable to look up at me, and me unable to actually speak, due to severe shock.
“Do you hate me?” he finally asked.
“Oh my God, no!” I exclaimed, “Actually, I feel relieved because not knowing why you didn’t want to date me was worse than this. I think…”
“Look, truthfully, it’s not going very well with my wife and I. It’s forced and we’re both walking on eggshells and trying to push something that I think we both know isn’t there. But to get someone else involved, and have a third party being part of the reason we fail for good isn’t fair to anyone. And that’s why I’ve stayed away. Or at least stayed away as much as I could.”
I leaned over and kissed Luke’s cheek. “You’re a really good person, Luke. Whatever happens, I’m glad I fell on my face in front of you.”
Luke smiled, “Me too. You looked pretty damn fatin with your knees scraped up.”
I giggled, “Your Arabic’s getting pretty good. Come on, let’s run.”
While we ran, I told Luke all about my salsa business and he gave me some much needed advice and ideas about advertising, marketing, and cost efficiency. I listened carefully and asked questions, feeling like I was getting a free seminar from a smart, successful businessman.
“How do you know so much?” I asked him, while we stood by our cars stretching.
“Trial and error, I guess.”
“Your ideas are really helpful.”
“I’m impressed. Starting a business takes guts.”
“Thanks,” I smiled.
“I’m here during the week, every morning at six. Join me again sometime?”
“Wouldn’t we be using a lollipop lick if I did that?”
“Exercise doesn’t count.”
With a big grin, I opened my car door, and just as I was about to get in, Luke called out my name.
I looked up.
“Did you mean it when you said I wasn’t that great of a kisser? I mean, am I really bad?”
“No, Luke, I promise. You’re not bad. I’m so sorry about that.” What I really wanted to do was shout, “If you only knew how I felt about kissing you!!”
“How do you say sorry in Arabic?” he asked.
“Assif. Why?”
“You’re sexy when you speak Arabic.”
“Hey, you’re not allowed to flirt with me.”
“I know,” he said with a sad smile, and with that, I got in my car and shut the door.
I waved and drove away, and suddenly I felt a surge of relief. Things made perfect sense. Luke liked me, but he was doing what he thought was best for his family. And I couldn’t blame him for that. In fact, I had respect for it.
Not being able to be with Luke stung like crazy, but I knew I’d be okay. So, now, both Preston and Luke were out of the picture, and that was good. The two had paved the way for me to focus solely on other things. I didn’t need or want a relationship with a man right now. What I needed and wanted at this juncture was a relationship with my salsa business!
.
O
ver the next few weeks, the weather began to turn much cooler, and there was something in the air that made it feel like the season for productivity.
The day after I met with my dad, I dropped a few hints to Helene to see how she felt about the idea of a getting back together with her husband. She wasn’t too keen on the idea, one because a major amount of trust was now missing from the rock solid marriage she once thought she had. But also, there was Henry. Mom liked him. I could tell. They’d been spending a lot of time together. She had even mentioned that she’d like us to meet him.