Freeing Destiny (Fate #2) (28 page)

Stella

This was it. The time had come. Tears were flowing like nobody’s business. This was harder than I imagined, even if we spent the last three weeks practically attached at the hip. Dread engulfed my nerves because it was our last night together. We opted for a quiet evening of Netflix, wine, takeout, and cuddling. My luggage was packed and waiting by the door, all my other belongings shipped to New York a few days prior so that they’d be there when I arrived.

Mom, Nina, and Aunt Gina were eager for us to reunite. I was too, but not really. I’d found the love of my life, my reason for breathing, for waking every morning, and now I had to leave him. God knew when I’d actually get to
see
him again. The holidays would be tough for travel. Jack had to work and keep his business running smoothly and I would be starting my internship and getting ready to return to school in January. When would I see him? How would we get through this? Surviving seemed impossible when the one person who made my heart pump the fastest and my smile shine the brightest would be out of reach.

“Would you stop crying, already? I thought we were over the sad good-byes. This isn’t forever, Stella. We’ll be together again before you know it.”

Jack seemed so sure of himself, of us. He had no doubts, no fears, no outbursts. It made me wary of his true feelings. I knew that was stupid—Jack loved me and didn’t want me to leave, but he was so calm and unflustered about the situation. I didn’t want to read too much into his non-reaction, but I was scared. What if once I left, he forgot about me? What if I’d wasted these months falling in love only to have my heart broken when it became too hard to make the long distance thing work?

Questions. Insecurities. Fears.
I had so many of them and nothing to soothe my worry. Other than my tears, I couldn’t let Jack know what I was thinking. I didn’t want to spoil our last night together.
Suck it up, Stella. You can cry your eyeballs dry when you get on the plane tomorrow.

“You’re right.” I swiped my face and sat up tall. “No more tears.”

“Good.” Jack leaned over and kissed my forehead, then tucked his arm underneath my body as we sat snugly on the couch to watch the Hallmark channel.

“You know, all these Christmas movies aren’t helping the situation. They’re sad.” I flipped the channel, only to land on yet another sappy holiday flick. “What happened to Thanksgiving? It’s not even December. Poor turkey was totally looked over.”

Jack pulled me closer and wriggled the remote out of my hands again. “Huh. I never thought of it that way. I always loved Christmas movies. Full of hope and holiday spirit. Jolly, merry, ho, ho, ho.” Jack and his optimism. It was refreshing, but was it too much to ask for him to be a teensy bit depressed about me leaving? Our time in the sun was over. Darkness had cast it’s cold, gloomy shadow over our relationship and I couldn’t help but feel as if a hibernation of sorts would result from lack of the bright light Jack brought to my life.

“If you say so,” I mumbled. I couldn’t pretend. I was a mess. If I could cancel all my plans and forget everything I worked so hard for, I would. I would do that all for Jack. He was worth it.

Jack caught another tear rolling down my cheek and immediately turned the television off. “Hey, come on, baby. Please don’t cry.”

I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat but it was no use. I couldn’t contain the sadness and regret any longer. With my hands covering my eyes, I sobbed. Long, gut-wrenching, humiliating sobs that wracked my body and depleted me.

“Stella!
Sunshine.
Stop!” Jack shouted. He sat up and tried to pull my hands from my face.

I was so embarrassed that I was acting like this. A child who hadn’t gotten her way. A love-sick girl trying to avoid responsibility. Who was this person? What had Jack done to me?

I wanted to hate him for it, but I couldn’t. I loved everything about the person I was when I was with him. Even if it meant I’d become dependent on him. It wasn’t the sign of weakness I thought it to be in the past—pre-Jack. It was unfiltered proof of what he meant to me.
Everything.

Jack’s grip grew tighter at my wrists and I succumbed to his tugging. Embarrassment washed over my tear-stained face. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I hate that I can’t control it. Please . . . please don’t look at me this way.” I shot up from my seat and stormed past him. I ran to the bathroom to blow my nose and wash up.

Once behind the locked door, Jack knocked, then pounded relentlessly. I begged him for some time alone to get it together and promised I’d be out in five minutes. I used those precious seconds to talk to myself in the mirror. There was no one in the world who could convince me that what I was doing was right, except for
me
.

The come-to-Jesus-moment brought me to my knees. I prayed, my hands clasped together, rocking back and forth on the cold tile floor. I thought about my mother. My rock. The woman who lost her parents and her husband and lived to tell about it—
and
love again. If she could survive the worst of the worst with grace and dignity, then I could surely get past a temporary separation from Jack.

He was right. It wouldn’t be forever. We’d talk every day. FaceTime and Skype. Texts and emails. Thank God for modern technology. I also praised the rational part of my brain that swayed me not to tell Jack the
real
time of my flight tomorrow morning.

He thought I was due at the airport for an eleven o’clock flight. I’d lied and booked the first plane out at seven o’clock. The long good-bye at the airport would only make things more painful. I’d slip out before the sun came up and leave him a note. He wouldn’t be happy, but knowing his true compassion, he’d understand. He had to. I couldn’t do it any other way.

“Sunshine, your five minutes are up. Come on out before I bust the door down.”

I found it in me to muster up a giggle and rose from the floor. With one last glance in the mirror, I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the most bittersweet night of my life.

Jack

My girl was torturing herself and I had to sit back and pretend it wasn’t killing me too. Each time she cried my heart seized. Every tear made my gut clench with suffering. This was shit! Mother fucking shit, shit, shit! But I had to keep it together or I’d give my secret away.

She was leaving tomorrow, but I’d be right behind her. I was able to book an afternoon flight into New York. According to our itineraries, there would only be a two hour gap between her arrival and mine. The two hours of waiting to get to her again would be like watching sand trickle through an hourglass, but it was nothing compared to the canyon of space and time that loomed ahead.

I couldn’t think about that now. If I did, I’d be locked up in that bathroom right along with Stella, weeping right beside her. We had something to look forward to, without her even aware. Spending the holiday together with her family, seeing New York as a couple, and scoping the scene for the possibility of our future.
New York: City of Dreams.
It would all work out in the end.
It had to.

Even though I was hopeful, I still couldn’t shake our inevitable fate. Tonight was just a Band-Aid on the
real
good-bye that would come in a week when I returned to my empty apartment without her. I’d save my pussying out until then. I saw a future filled with nights curled up in the fetal position and drowning my sorrows in empty beer bottles. But not tonight. Tonight I had to hold it together. For Stella. For us. Make more memories to keep her smiling when I couldn’t do it myself. Besides, it would never really be ‘good-bye.’ I liked to think of it more as a ‘see ya later.’ No distance could wedge itself between what I felt for Stella. This was the real thing and I’d be damned if I let it slip away.

Grounding myself and adjusting my manhood, I banged my fists against the door. “Sunshine, your five minutes are up. Come on out before I bust the door down.”

I gave her a minute to finish up whatever the hell she was doing in there, and when the door swung open, I opened my arms to her. She flew into them and wilted against me. No tears, this time, but she clung to me desperately, like a lifeline.

“I love you so much, Jack.” Her voice was weak and hoarse from all her crying, but genuine emotion rang through her words.

“I love you, too, baby. We’ll be fine. You’ll see. I won’t let anything happen to us.” I believed it with every fiber of my being. I would move mountains, crawl across deserts, fight demons and slay dragons just to make this woman mine forever.

In that moment, with Stella in my arms, adrenaline pumping through my veins, and my heart sinking to my toes, I vowed to do whatever it took to get my ass on the same coast as my Sunshine. Nothing else mattered—money, work, friends, family. I needed her more than the air I breathed. Hell, if she wasn’t around the air I needed for survival was inadequate. It was sweeter when mixed with her scent, more potent when painted with her presence, and enhanced by her intoxicating essence.

Something—a need from deep within—overtook me. It was suddenly vital that she knew exactly how desperate I was to be with her forever. I backed up to get a good look at her. She scanned my face, her eyes bloodshot and swollen but still captivating as fuck. I held her chin in my hand and trained my gaze on her stunning beauty. “I need you, Stella. I need you so much I don’t know how I’ll survive even one second without you, but I will, because you’re mine. You didn’t know it then, but you were mine from that night at your mother’s wedding. It hasn’t been long and skeptics will be skeptics, but I don’t give a shit what
anyone
else has to say. I’ve never felt this alive. You’re it for me, baby. Here, there, wherever. I will make this work if it’s the very last thing I ever do. I promise you that. Okay?”

Stella’s lip quivered as she held back the tears. She lowered her gaze to the floor but I forced her eyes back on me with a finger under her chin. After a long, shaky sigh, she threw her head back and then came back to me with a smile. “I know we said we wanted to stay in and just be together . . . but.” Her plump lower lip was trapped between her teeth as she grinned. “I’m thinking all this crying can be cured with something a little more powerful than Pinot.”

I narrowed my gaze, arched my brows. “Oh, yeah. And what do you have in mind?”

She leaned in, went up on her tip toes and placed a soft, wet kiss on my lips. “Let’s go out with a bang,” she whispered. “Drinks. Dancing. You name it. I don’t want this night to end, so let’s make it last as long as possible.”

It was definitely a far cry from the original plan we made, but with Stella I was game for anything. “Then go put on your dancing shoes, Sunshine. Let’s make this a night you’ll never forget.”

Stella

I thought he’d
never
fall asleep and stay that way. Between being drunk and insatiable, Jack had not given in easily. I could curse him for the measly two hours of sleep I managed, but it wasn’t his fault. I was the one lying. I was the one sneaking out on the man I loved because I was too much of a coward to face saying good-bye without wanting to die.

But this was no better. I was ready to go, everything in its place out in the hall, Uber called, t’s crossed and i’s dotted. So why couldn’t I bring myself to walk away?