Friday I'm in Love (16 page)

“Is that right?” His tone was cold.

“This conversation is becoming tedious. I need to go upstairs and pack. I’m leaving tomorrow morning, you know.” She tried to step around him but he caught her upper arm in a grip tighter than she’d ever felt. Usually he was so gentle, so careful with her.

She wasn’t accustomed to feeling his real strength. “Let go of me.”

He shook his head and then glanced at their surroundings. She followed his gaze around the room. They were attracting an audience. “I only need a moment of your time. My office.” Then because she narrowed her eyes, ready to lambaste him, he added a “please”. While his body was stiff, his posture almost aggressive, his eyes were softer, pleading.

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Mari Carr

“Five minutes,” she said, knowing she was about to live through the longest three hundred seconds of her life.

She followed him into his office, trying to hide the alarm on her face when he locked the door. “Is that necessary?” she asked.

“I don’t want us to be interrupted.” He leaned back against the door as she snorted.

“You don’t want me to escape. Clock’s ticking, hotshot.” She looked at her watch.

“Four minutes and forty-five seconds.”

“I love you.”

She froze, certain she couldn’t have heard his words correctly. “What?”

“I love you. I’m in love with you.”

She opened her mouth, fought for an answer, tried to regain the confidence she’d spent all afternoon wrapping around herself.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she whispered.

Ewan chuckled mirthlessly. “Ridiculous. First time in my life I tell a woman I’m in love with her and she thinks it’s ridiculous.”

“I don’t mean…I’m not saying you’re…” She fought to find a way out, a loophole.

“You don’t know me. There are things, Ewan—”

“I know you had a nervous breakdown. I know you suffer from depression. I know you had a panic attack yesterday and I know you had it because you care for me too. I know you’re scared to death right now and I understand why you push people away.

Those reasons may make sense to you, Nat, but they’re wrong.
You’re
wrong. I
do
know you. And I love you.”

“Stop saying that!” she yelled. “Stop saying those stupid, useless words! Damn Teagan. Damn her for telling you all that.”

“This isn’t Teagan’s fault.
You
should have told me, Nat. We’re friends. We’re—”

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Her temper broke in two. Her nerves frazzled until the ends were snapping like a broken electrical wire. “We’re
not
friends. We’re nothing, Ewan. Nothing! Not now. Not ever. Your five minutes are up. Get away from that door.”

“Natalie.”

“Get. Away. From. The. Door.”

She wasn’t sure what he saw in her face. She could only imagine what sort of raving lunatic was reflected in his eyes. She felt caged in, trapped, and she was ready to claw her way out of this place with her own nails.

He unlocked the door and silently moved aside.

Her breath caught in her chest at his gesture. He was letting her go.

She stepped through the door and then, because her heart refused to leave without making one last stand, she turned. Saw the agony in his face. She made herself look at him and then said, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” and she walked away.

* * * * *

Sean carried her suitcase down to the waiting taxi the next morning. Keira had offered to drive her to the airport but she was anxious to make her break from this place, this family, as quickly as possible. As she descended the stairs, she was surprised to find most of the family gathered in the pub, waiting to say goodbye.

So much for an easy break.

Keira, Tris and Sean hugged her, said they looked forward to seeing her back in Baltimore soon. She didn’t have the heart to tell them hell would freeze over before she came back. Riley handed her a tiny bottle of tequila, telling her it was for the plane ride.

She smiled and thanked her.

Teagan hovered in the background, guilt written on her face. Natalie couldn’t find it in her heart to be angry with her friend. Teagan had merely done something Natalie didn’t have the courage to do. She walked over and tugged on Teagan’s long red hair.

“I’ll see you and Sky in Palm Springs next month, right?”

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Mari Carr

Teagan smiled. “And then back here at New Year’s for the wedding.”

Natalie felt a wave of panic at the thought of coming back. She seriously doubted she’d be able to make the trip. She hesitated, then nodded.

Pop stepped up, grinning and embracing her in a strong, fatherly hug that brought tears to her eyes. “We’re going to miss you around here, Natalie.”

“I’m still ahead on the fish count,” she teased.

“I’ll torment Moose with that information next time we’re out.”

“I’d be willing to call it even if he kisses the next fish he catches.”

Pat laughed. “I’ll be sure to snap a picture. Proof.”

“I’ll look forward to seeing it.”

She stepped toward the door, turning to look back one last time. Looking for one face, wondering how she could dread and desire something at the same time. Ewan wasn’t there. He wasn’t coming. She’d hurt him irrevocably and she deserved his cold shoulder. She pushed away the pain that accompanied that thought. They all said one last goodbye and she waved before stepping out into the sunlight.

And he was there, resting against the cab, waiting for her.

“Ewan,” she said, struggling to hide the tears rushing to her eyes. She put on her sunglasses to shield them from him.

“I wanted to give this back before you left.” He reached out and she saw her camera in his hand. She’d forgotten about it.

“Thanks,” she said, taking it from him.

“Goodbye, Nat.” He stepped forward, placing a light kiss on her forehead. She held herself rigid as she forced her body not to melt into his. It would be so easy.

She smiled tightly. She didn’t believe in saying goodbye. The word hurt too much, so she stepped around him and climbed into the cab. She wanted to look forward but she couldn’t manage. She looked at Ewan as the taxi pulled away from the curb and she continued to stare at him until the car turned and he disappeared for good.

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Friday I’m in Love

She pressed her head against the headrest and closed her eyes, letting the tears fall.

For several moments she cried quietly as the buildings, the city flew by, each mile taking her farther away from Ewan.

They were halfway to the airport when she realized she was still clutching her camera in her hand. She toyed with the small thing briefly then turned it on.

She clicked through the pictures, pulling the small view screen closer, amazed at what she was seeing.

She didn’t realize Ewan had been taking pictures of her the entire week.

There were a couple of her and Riley doing their hair and makeup in the bathroom last Saturday. Both of them laughing as Riley teased her blonde hair. Natalie grinned at the memory before clicking to the next shot. This one was taken by Aaron as she, Riley and Ewan all had shot glasses lifted to their lips. She laughed at the horrible wince on her face as the taste of the bitter liquor hit her tongue. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the tiny bottle of tequila Riley had given her. She smiled as she remembered the night, the dancing, the fun.

Clicking again, she discovered a photo of her with Pat and Moose, holding her first fish up as both men flanked her, looking as proud as if they’d caught it themselves. She laughed out loud and the cab driver glanced back at her as she flipped to the next photo and found Ewan had captured the exact moment she’d kissed the fish, Moose and Pat grinning like a couple of giddy fools over their prank.

There was another of her in her waitressing outfit, taking Mrs. Duvall’s order. It was a simple picture, and she wondered how he’d taken it without her noticing.

There was one of her asleep in the hotel bed the first night they’d had sex, bright red rose petals covering the pillow beside her. He’d captured just her face and she was surprised to find true peace there. She didn’t know she ever looked like that.

There was a shot of her singing karaoke, holding the microphone to her mouth, flirting with the cowboy in the purple shirt. She looked like someone else in that moment. Someone happy, someone special. Someone alive.

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Mari Carr

And then it hit her. She was the subject in every picture.

She was the focus, the center.

Ewan had done what he’d promised. He’d taught her how to live, given her a life—

and he’d filled it with memories.

As they pulled up to the airport, Natalie knew she’d just made the biggest mistake of her life. Ewan was right. She’d let fear dictate her, rule her. She’d closed down after Yvonne’s death, refusing to let anyone in for fear of pain.

She sat in the cab for several moments. The driver had gotten out, had pulled her suitcase from the trunk and now waited patiently on the curb. She looked out at the hustle and bustle of the airport and knew if she got on that plane, she’d never make it to Palm Springs without dying a million deaths along the way.

She couldn’t leave. Couldn’t live without Ewan. She didn’t even want to try.

She rolled down the window. “Can you take me back?”

“Back?” the driver asked.

“To the pub where you picked me up. I want to go home.”

The man looked at her like she’d lost her mind and she giggled.
Won’t be the first
time
, she thought, and she marveled that she could suddenly laugh about it. As the driver put her suitcase back in the trunk and pulled out, she closed her eyes and whispered to the only angel she knew.

“Help me, Yvonne. Help me. I love him. Please don’t let me be too late.”

* * * * *

Less than an hour had passed since she’d left but Ewan felt like it had been twenty years. He sat at the bar surrounded by his family and marveled over the fact they knew just what he needed. They left him in peace, but they stayed close. It was nearly ten and he knew he should move, knew he should get ready for the day, but his body felt too heavy.

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Friday I’m in Love

Tris, Sean and Pop were hanging out behind the bar, putting bets on tomorrow’s football game. His sisters were sitting at one of the tables behind him, looking at some
Bride
magazines. None of them were talking to him, but he knew if he gave even the slightest inclination of needing them, they’d surround him in a heartbeat, hold him up until he found his feet again.

Tris came over, stood across the bar from him. “You all right, bro?”

“Yep. Just got kicked in the teeth. It’ll pass. In a couple hundred years.”

“For what it’s worth, I think she’ll come back.”

Ewan smiled mirthlessly and shook his head. “She’s not coming back.”

Tris bent toward him and held out his hand. “I’ll bet you twenty dollars.”

“Hate to take your money,” Ewan said, returning his brother’s clasp, appreciating Tristan’s attempts at cheering him up. In this family, wagers were as sacred as holidays and he couldn’t begin to list all the stupid things he’d bet over with his siblings in the past.

A feminine hand slapped a twenty dollar bill on the bar beside him and he turned, surprised, wondering how she’d come in without him noticing.

“Your brother’s a cheating bastard.” Natalie smiled at him. Though her tone was confident, wholly Nat, her face betrayed her nervousness. “Riley let me in on the restaurant side.”

“Miss your plane?” he asked, trying to still the voice in his head, screaming that she’d returned.

She shook her head. “Never got out of the cab.”

He grinned. “Damn.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You’re gloating.”

“Yeah, I am. Just a heads up. I’m probably gonna be doing that for a while.”

She laughed, her eyes drifting down. He could sense she was bracing herself for something.

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Mari Carr

“I love you.” She blurted out the words and he was reminded of his own declaration the night before.

The devil in him prodded. She’d put him through hell the last two days. “What?”

She sighed, her eyes meeting his, proving she knew he was going to make her work for it. “I love you. I’m in love with you. Even though you are an annoying, perverted, cocky—”

He reached over as she spoke, halting her words with a kiss. As they broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers, loving the sweet smell of toothpaste still on her breath. “I love you too, Nat.”

“I’m not easy to be with, Ewan. I get in these moods sometimes. My world goes sort of dark and it’s hard for me to find my way back to the light.”

He knew it was also hard for her to admit her faults. “Then I guess it’ll just be my job to cheer you up.”

“I’m not exaggerating.”

He knew she was trying to stress how very real her problems were. She’d fought him too hard this week to walk into this without giving him a fair warning. Hell, she’d fought against this for three years and it was evident she wasn’t going to let him proceed unless his eyes were wide open.

“I know you aren’t, Nat. We’ll work through it. Together. I promise.”

“Yeah, well, I also live on the west coast.”

“That one’s gonna be tough.” He looked around, realized his family was pretending not to listen, though he knew they were hanging on every word.

“No,” she said. “It won’t be. I’ve been thinking about opening up a second studio.

Sort of becoming a chain.”

His heart felt like it tripled in size at her words. “Baltimore could use a good photography studio.”

“Yeah, I was thinking that too.”

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Friday I’m in Love

“You’d move here to be with me, Nat?”

“I’m tired of being alone. Tired of keeping people away. That may have worked in the beginning, after Yvonne died. I think isolating myself helped me survive. Helped me move on. But now,” she took a deep breath, “now it just hurts. I…I’d like to give this thing between us a chance. A real chance. We can’t do that on opposite coasts.”