Read Friends With Way Too Many Benefits Online
Authors: Luke Young,Ian Dalton
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Humor, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Humor & Satire, #General Humor, #Romantic Comedy
Jim said through the open hole of the cradle, "My right thigh muscle has really felt tight lately."
"Uh-huh," Victoria mumbled in a deep voice. Then she cringed wondering why she made that choice. He began to lift his head and she pushed it down and whispered, "Just relax."
Rushing to the other side of the table, she lifted the towel off his lower body and folded it up. When she saw he was still wearing underwear, she paused a moment having second thoughts as she contemplated running from the room. She shook those off, realizing she'd come this far and she might as well finish her mission.
She worked the muscles in this thigh, running her fingers up to his buttocks over and over again and he moaned softly. "Yeah, that's where it's tight."
Cringing, she closed her eyes a moment then began. Sliding her fingers higher still, she worked the bottom of his glut and slipped a lone oily finger through the leg hole of his boxer briefs and brushed it gently over his balls before pulling it back. He squirmed a bit, but remained lying flat with his head firmly in place.
She grimaced biting her lip then after taking a deep breath— she went all the way, sliding three fingers through the leg hole and blatantly stroking his manhood.
"Hey Ashley. What are you—" Flipping over, he looked up in shock. "Victoria?"
"Hi," she replied, sheepishly.
"What are doing here?"
"I just, uh… I wanted to surprise you."
"You scared me, I thought, um... you know." He sat on the edge of the table and chuckled, shaking his head.
"I should probably go." With her face turning a bright red she took a few steps toward the door.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, this was a dumb idea, like I said I wanted to surprise you."
"Well, I was surprised all right. I thought Ashley was giving out happy endings all of a sudden."
Victoria giggled nervously. "Yeah, like that would happen."
Suddenly the door opened and Ashley appeared wearing a confused expression. "My car is fine."
"That's good news. I must have made a mistake." Victoria shuffled past Ashley to the door. "Well, I've got to go pick up Kaylie."
"Your car?" Jim narrowed his eyes.
"Yeah, Victoria said my car was hit in the parking lot and the police were out there."
"Victoria?" He looked to the love of his life, waiting.
Slowly she turned back to him and replied hesitantly, "Yes..."
"You sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, I just wanted to surprise you and—"
"Wait..." The gears were turning in his head. "This was a test!"
"What?" Victoria refused to make eye contact with him.
"You were testing me." He scoffed. "I can't believe this."
"What's going on?" Ashley asked, dumbfounded.
His jaw fell open and he pointed to the guilty party. "She thinks you're giving happy endings in here or we're up to something— I don't know."
"What?" Ashley tilted her head, confused.
"Yeah, she set this whole thing up, obviously sending you out to the parking lot, before she started tugging on my, you know..."
Ashley looked to Victoria, horrified. "Really?"
"Well, um, I..." She floundered before putting on an accusatory tone. "Well, you lied to me today."
"What?" Jim replied.
"I saw
she
..." Victoria motioned to the young masseuse with a sneer. "...called you today and you lied about that and snuck away to make your secret phone call."
"Secret phone call." He held back a laugh.
"Yes, I heard you say, she doesn't have any idea— meaning me and… and you were thinking about going to a hotel with her." Victoria pointed back to Ashley, frowning.
"We did discuss a hotel, you are right," he confirmed snidely, speaking slowly.
"You see, I'm not crazy."
"Oh, you're crazy." After taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and shook his head. "I decided not to have your birthday party at the restaurant at the hotel, but instead have it here… in the club."
"Birthday party?" Victoria repeated softly.
"Uh-huh." Frowning, he folded his arms. "Ashley also plans our events here."
"Oh." Victoria smile uncomfortably. "I didn't, uh—"
"I feel like I don't even know you anymore." He scoffed. "You’re like this C.I.A. spy or something... I mean, who are you?"
"Well, what was I supposed to think with the whispered phone call especially after I caught you jerking off in here after one of her massages?"
"What— you masturbate in here after I massage you?" Ashley looked sickened. "Oh my God..."
"Only the one time," he replied in a pained voice, running his hands over his face.
"And you..." Ashley turned to Victoria. "... you think I'm some sort of whore taking money for hand jobs."
"I didn’t think that." She shrugged. "I thought, um, you were doing that part for free, you know, because you liked him."
"What?" Ashley let out an incredulous squeal. "I don't think I like either one of you right now." She ripped open the door and headed out.
"Ashley..." Jim called after her but she didn't return. Slowly he turned to the mother of his child wearing a weary look.
Victoria cringed holding her palm in the air. "Oops."
"Thanks for telling her I jerk off in here."
"It just slipped out." She frowned. "Sorry about all this. I was worried that you didn't find me sexy anymore and I—"
"What?" He scoffed. "What are you talking about?"
Turning away, she sighed. "I don't know. I just, uh… I was just really starting to lose it."
"Clearly…" Chuckling, he slipped off the table and gave her a smile. "I can't imagine a scenario where I don't find you sexy."
"Really?" She turned back to him.
"Yes, really. In fact I'm a little turned on by this whole spy masseuse thing. If I had known I would have played along."
"That sounds like fun." She sidled up to him on her tip toes and rubbed her chest seductively against his body.
"Hey, wait, don't think I'm letting you off the hook that easy."
"Oh..." Returning to her heels, she frowned.
"Promise me you won't ever try anything like this again," he scolded.
"I promise."
"I'm going to think of five... no six things you can do to make this up to me."
"Six, huh."
"Well, we'll start with the six and see how I feel."
"Okay." She held back a grin.
"Oh, shit." He grimaced.
"What?"
"Now I've probably got to switch to Andre for my massages." He sighed. "I hope he doesn't rub that giant bulge on my head while he does it."
"No, that wouldn't be good…" She gave him a sheepish look. "Sorry."
"You owe me Wilde... big time."
"Okay," she whined. "Now kiss me."
He gave her a quick kiss.
"That's it?"
"Uh-huh. That's all you get right now."
"I guess I deserve that."
Rolling his eyes, he shook his head in agreement.
"You want me to talk to Ashley?" She asked.
"No, I'll do it."
"Good, because I really didn't want to and I need to pick up Kaylie."
"Where is she?"
"Jillian's." Picking up her hat, she pulled it over her hair then put on her sunglasses. "This is my spy outfit. You like?"
"It's sorta hot." He flashed her sexy smile. "You might be wearing that during make-up task number one."
She laughed then headed out the door.
Standing in Jillian's kitchen, Victoria held Kaylie on her hip. The one-year old giggled, babbled and smacked her mother playfully about the face. "Yes, hit mommy she deserves it."
"Where the hell did you go anyway?" Jillian asked.
"To the tennis club." Returning her attention to the baby, she made a goofy face. "Yes she does."
Suddenly the baby switched to whining mode and flailed her arms to get down. Victoria moved to her knees and put Kaylie between her legs and handed her a giant set of plastic play keys.
Jillian sat down on the sofa and smiled at the baby. The baby laughed and shook her toy around as Victoria gave Jillian a serious look. "I sorta went to the club and, um... pretended t..." Her mumbling words trailed away incoherently.
"You did what?"
Victoria sighed. "I pretended to be Ashley giving Jim his massage and sorta tried to test him."
"I'm confused. How did you pretend to be her?"
"Well, Jim was lying face down on the table and I kinda ran into Ashley outside the massage room and told her some lie about her car being hit in the parking lot." Jillian's expression quickly turned to one of horror and got worse as her friend continued, "Then I, um, started to give him a massage and slipped my hand in his underwear and grabbed his, you know, his..." Victoria motioned to the baby with her eyes.
Jillian came to her aid. "His… daddy stick?"
"That’s right his daddy stick," Victoria said in a sing-songy voice.
"What'd he do?"
Victoria grimaced. "He freaked out."
"So they're not sleeping together."
"Obviously not."
"And you're completely out of your mind."
"Apparently so," Victoria replied casually.
Brushing a lose strand of hair from her face, Jillian narrowed her eyes. "I feel like I don't even know you anymore."
"That's what Jim said."
Jillian shook her head as if she wasn't surprised at all. "Is he mad?"
"Kinda, but I think he'll get over it."
"You've really got to pull it together and stop beating yourself up over this whole age difference thing."
"I know. I know, I just can't—"
"Look, it's nobody's fault if women hit their sexual prime in their early forties and men do in their twenties and you and I are just so awesome and progressive that we chose to take advantage of it."
"Yeah, we are sorta awesome."
"If you need to blame someone... blame nature."
"You’re right."
Jillian scowled. "He's crazy in love with you, you know."
"I know."
"And you're just crazy."
"Okay, stop saying that." Victoria frowned.
"Wait, you haven't been on those conspiracy theory websites again?" Jillian shot her an incredulous look. "Have you?"
"Some of that stuff is true, I know it is."
"Okay." Jillian sighed. "Stop going on those sites and stop doing things to screw up your relationship with this wonderful guy— the father of your child, brother of my wonderful husband and, so I'm told, a guy with male equipment that just won't quit."
They shared a knowing look until Jillian added, "Just embrace it and go with it."
"I'm going to try."
"Look, I've got to get down to the set for some last minute stuff, but I'll see you guys at the wrap party tonight, right?"
"We'll be there."
"Good, now see if you can go the rest of the day without putting a G.P.S. tracking device on his car or swabbing his dirty underwear for foreign D.N.A."
Victoria laughed out loud. "Wow, those are big fancy terms for you."
"I know, I'm writing this romantic suspense novel and I've been Google searching some crazy stuff. Hope the F.B.I. isn't monitoring my computer."
"Oh, they are." Victoria nodded with her mouth hanging open. "I read about that on the—"
"Please go." Slipping down to the floor, Jillian picked up the baby and put on a huge smile. "You're mommy is silly… Yes she is."
Kaylie giggled like crazy as Jillian looked to her friend. "You see she already knows."
Four hours later Jillian's phone rang and it was Jim. He wanted to talk and she agreed to meet with him at this little dessert place conveniently located within walking distance of her favorite jewelry store, although she didn't mention the proximity. Driving there, she wore a grin as she worked out the plan in her mind.
They sat down together and sipped from their coffee cups in the mostly empty cafe. Jim shook his head. "I suppose you heard what happened this morning at the club."
"I did." Jillian rolled her eyes. "She's a piece of work."
"Tell me about it," he grumbled. "Do you think she's ever going to agree to marry me? I mean, I guess things are okay as they are, but maybe she'll calm down if we actually make it official."
"She said yes once, but you screwed up and didn't have the ring."