Friendship on Fire (61 page)

‘Fine. Where do I start?' I asked, my mind under-prepared for this.

‘Wherever you want. I don't mind.' Roman leant back on the towel and watched me intently.

How his blue eyes smouldered in the sunlight.

‘The kiss. I'm sorry about it. It was so messed up of me and I didn't see Anya standing there, and …'

He nodded. ‘I figured that. If it wasn't such a serious situation I would have laughed. Do you want to tell me what that was? What brought it on?'

Taking a deep breath, I attempted honesty. ‘I guess I suspected there was something going on between us since that summer where we half kissed, but I brushed it under the carpet. It wasn't ever the right time to start something
.
‘

‘You got that right,' he agreed.

‘And you were always … there,
‘
I said weakly.

‘Yep …'

‘Then Nate appeared, and he was dangerous, mysterious, interesting …'

‘You can stop there,' he said, beginning to look disappointed.

‘No. You were always the best choice for me; but I couldn't see it. You were too … perfect,' I admitted.

‘Right. Sorry for being too perfect,' he said, surprised.

‘Nah, I'm serious. It was kind of … now don't take this the wrong way … easy.'

‘Trust me, I'm not easy,' he said, winking at me.

‘No not like that. Gosh you're turning me round in circles, Roman.' I ran a hand through my hair and considered giving up for now. It could wait, right?

‘Sorry, continue,' he said seriously, with a forced straight face.

‘Well, after he cheated on me, I knew you were the right guy. I don't want you to feel that you are second choice or that I wouldn't have figured it out in my own time. It was the way it happened, and I can't make excuses for that.'

‘I get it. It sucks, but I understand.'

‘Good. Now, I do have to tell you before we go any further with this conversation, that, well, it's embarrassing. You know I'm shy with personal stuff, so bear with me, please.'

He patiently watched me and I took the chance to open up.

‘I slept with him, Roman.'

Roman's eyes dulled and he stared down at the sand. I let him be quiet for a good minute before I couldn't take it anymore.

‘Can you say something? This is killing me.'

‘I'm sad,' he shrugged simply.

‘So am I. But I can't regret everything that I do. What's done is done and I've learnt my lesson the hard way. Trust me.'

‘I'm sure you have. Don't misunderstand me; it's not only you that I'm sad at.'

‘I know, I know — you've never liked Nate, you made that quite clear,' I said, without bitterness. As it turned out, he was right about him anyway, so that argument was vetoed.

‘It's not that, either,' he said cryptically.

‘What is it then?'

‘Anya. I slept with her, too.'

‘Oh.' Something more intense than disappointment speared my heart as I shared the same feeling as him, possibly for the first time in a long time.

‘Can I explain?' he asked.

‘You don't have to, honestly. You're not asking me to explain …'

‘I want to,' he said quickly, so I nodded. ‘She was older than me. She was foreign; she made me forget how I felt about you not coming with me on the holiday and how much it hurt me to see you with someone who didn't treat you right. Anya was so far away from my own reality that she was barely real, which is why no one ever saw us in public and why you didn't know about her. I can't believe I let myself get caught up in that stuff.'

‘I'm hearing you. I feel the same.'

‘Now that I think about it, I'm kind of glad we both made the same mistake.'

I frowned. ‘Oh? How so?'

‘It's easier to forgive. And not judge.'

I paused on this thought for a moment. He was right. If one of us had done the wrong thing and the other hadn't, it would leave a large scope for future criticism.

Was it possible to make a clean slate physically? Now that we both had baggage from someone else other than the person who was truly right for us?

With every fibre of my being, I hoped so.

‘Also, Daisy, at the beach party, when you kissed me, it took all my energy not to scoop you up, take you home and protect you for the rest of my life. My integrity to protect Anya from embarrassment was the only thing that stopped me from doing that. You were so upset,' he remembered, staring off into the water.

I remembered vaguely Roman sitting with me on the back seat of my dad's car, my head gently on his shoulder. Right now, I wished I could remember more of his unselfish act.

Roman continued. ‘As it was, Anya was sharp enough to notice my hesitation and my behaviour from then onwards, seeing as I left the party to look after you. She was on a working visa here. She was waiting to get confirmation from me, pretty much, to see if she should bother staying here on a more permanent basis. When I couldn't give her a one hundred per cent answer she decided to save her pride and go home. I was sad and knew I'd disappointed her, but it wasn't right for me. I wanted you. I couldn't tell you that when you asked me about it a few weeks ago, could I?'

‘Wrong timing, once again?' I asked, nodding to myself.

‘Exactly. And how did I know I wouldn't be second choice, or a rebound from Nate?'

‘True.' Nevertheless, I liked this part of the story. ‘Go on.'

‘Well, when I found out later exactly what Nate had done, I wanted to hit him. Big time. He did what I thought he'd do; hurt you, and disappoint you more than you deserved. I plotted all the anonymous ways I could avenge you, hence the incident outside the school …'

I shuddered as I remembered crying on Roman's shoulder the whole way home.

‘And that's not to mention Rachael's part in it.'

Another spear swept through my heart. Her betrayal had been equally as bad as Nate's.

‘I had no idea she was in with the Blonde Brigade so heavily; Skye's baiting lies were true, after all,' I whispered.

‘I did. Tiffany told me stories and I would also hear from James. I knew you wouldn't believe me, so I had to let it play out itself. Hence why I distanced myself further from you, even after Anya left.'

‘I wish you'd told me, but I guess I can't guarantee I'd have listened, hey. I didn't listen in the past.'

‘To push it was too great a risk, given your temper.'

I ducked my head shyly. ‘Point taken. Speaking of James, I tried to get information out of him, you know. I was worried about you, and I missed you.'

‘Yes I do know. And I'm grateful to him that he didn't tell you much.'

‘So when he told me cryptically that your life had changed, he meant that you'd met Anya and slept with her?'

‘Yes. I asked him not to tell you anything. He felt bad not being able to tell you, ‘specially being Shana's best friend …' and he smiled at the mention of his best friend's girlfriend. James must be smitten.

‘Why did you specifically ask him not to say anything?'

‘Because. Maybe I was embarrassed. Maybe I was hurt that you'd chosen Nate over me. I don't know. No one really knew about Anya and me in the first place. Mum and Dad guessed after a while and I figured only seeing her when I felt like it didn't count as anything official.'

‘Roman, I did want to go with you on holidays. I couldn't bring myself to let you as my best friend pay for the whole trip. And I felt obliged to Nate to go because he'd already paid for it all before asking me. He also bought me earrings to match my necklace for my birthday.'

Roman smirked. ‘How observant.'

‘Shh. I know. I felt horrible for him. I mean, I did want to go, but I knew I shouldn't have said yes when I'd already said no to you.'

‘I can see your position. I don't blame you for that now that I know.'

That was a relief. Now we could finally talk about stuff that had been building up for months, some for years. Even if we'd waited longer than necessary to do it.

Resting back on my elbows, I squinted up at the figure shadowing the sun for me. ‘Besides, my brothers never took to him. Treston was his friend through soccer, but Josh was constantly rude to him and Dad was suss and would question him ruthlessly when he came over. They often asked me why I didn't date you.'

Roman nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. ‘I don't know if that would have been the best time, anyway. I reckon we needed to be separated for a decent period in order to truly appreciate what we had in each other.'

‘You're right,' I said, smiling. I felt warmed at our reconnection.

One question remained: what if he wanted to still only be friends? We didn't know each other's plans for the future. University could keep us apart for up to five years. And wasn't it me who thought we'd have to get used to being apart some day? I was terrified to get my hopes up now that we allowed our feelings to open up.

‘Want to go for a walk?' he offered.

I smiled and packed everything left into my bag. Roman took the bag from me and slung it over his shoulder. We started to walk down the sand dune on to the softer white sand of the beachfront.

‘So, how'd you go with school grades?' Roman asked.

‘Good, you?'

‘Care to be more specific?'

He smiled, nudging me gently in the ribs. I giggled nervously, unsure when the right time was to tell him of my plans. What if they didn't match up? Not that I was hoping or anything …

‘Well, I got into what I wanted,' Roman announced, throwing it out there.

‘Did you? So did I,' I replied.

‘And what is that?'

‘At this stage I'm going to start archaeology with an arts degree at Twin Rocks Uni.'

Roman smiled widely, his blue eyes sparkling. ‘I'm really happy for you, Dais. That's a good choice for you.'

‘What are you doing?' I asked, anticipation tingling my fingers.

‘Wouldn't you like to know?' he teased.

I tried unsuccessfully to push him into the sand for making me wait. He had continued to fill out over the summer.

‘Tell me,' I ordered.

‘Fine. I'm doing communications.' He watched my eyes as he spoke. ‘At Twin Rocks Uni.'

‘
What?
‘
I squealed, jumping up and down on the spot.

‘Yep. It's all settled. I've wanted to tell you for a while, but you know …'

‘Yeah.' I stared at him shyly. ‘But hey. That's amazing.'

We stood in the sand, not knowing what to say, not knowing who would speak first. Who
should
speak first. But it wasn't awkward. Not at all. It had never felt so right.

Roman led out, putting his hands out in front of him. ‘So where does this leave us?'

I shrugged, turning my head down and smiling coyly.

‘Well, what do you want?' he asked, tilting his head down to read my eyes.

Eyes threatening to fill with tears, I peered up at him and said confidently, ‘You.'

Laughing with relief and happiness, Roman wrapped his arms around my back and gazed into my eyes. I couldn't take mine off his. I could get lost in his infinite depth and kindness. How I ever could have thought he was boring or easy was beyond me.

His lips quivered with anticipation and amusement, while I stared up at him, enjoying the moment we were sharing. We didn't have to hide our feelings anymore. We didn't have to play silly games to get each other's attention.

Roman leant down, slowly, and pressed his lips to mine. Waiting for the kiss felt like an eternity. I let his warmth wash over me, breathing in his scent deeply, noting each movement and touch. His tongue gently teased mine, while my traitor knees weakened underneath me. He was an amazing kisser. What I had been missing out on. Our pent up tension was now expelled in our passionate embrace.

Roman let me go, a cheeky smile on his face.

‘What?' I asked, wanting to kiss him again.

‘Nothing. I'm just glad you're finally mine. No more competition.'

I unzipped the side pocket of his board shorts and felt around in it, successfully pulling out a redskin. ‘I wouldn't bet on it.'

‘Hey.' Roman snatched it out of my hand and picked me up, running me down to the waterfront.

Breathless and squealing, I threw my arms around his neck. Safely in his grip, I never felt surer of what our future would hold for me.