From Here to There (29 page)

 "Sounds reasonable to me." Amos pulled on a heavy coat. "You two work it out however you want."

 "What about my computer?" Phillip asked, still grinning. "You know how important--communication is to me."

 She felt like telling him what he could do with his computer but instead managed to keep a level tone to her voice. "If Uncle Amos doesn't mind, you can share the den. We had been talking about getting a dish."

Phillip was frustrated by the delay in getting a system into the bunkhouse; so had no illusions how long it’d take to change it to the main house. “It seems to take a month to get anything done out here.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Amos said with a grin.

 With the men gone outside to their assorted chores, Helene turned to her laptop, trying again to make a credible story from the interview she'd gotten from Doc Albertson. She had struggled with the pieces, revising, tearing apart and rewriting so many times she'd begun to think she'd never make sense out of the piece and would have to start over with someone else.

 The phone ringing interrupted her work.

 "Hi." It was Nancy.

 "Hi, yourself. How's that baby coming?"

 "I think... right now," Nancy said.

 "Right now," Helene yelped. "Why aren't you on your way to the hospital? Why aren't you at the hospital?"

 "I... The pains came on so suddenly. I didn't expect it to be like this. Emile and my dad went to Billings to work out the final details on that consignment contract for beef. My mom went along to shop. They won't be back until tonight. I don't know where Krista or Terry are. Nobody answers their phone."

 "Today! They all went away today?" Helene asked with disbelief.

 "The baby wasn't due for two weeks," Nancy said defensively. Helene could hear her pant into the receiver. "A contraction," Nancy explained, as if Helene hadn't already guessed.

 "How many minutes apart?" Helene asked with distress, unsure if she'd know what any of it meant.

 "They started at ten. I was hoping they'd ease up, that this was just false labor again, but... they haven't. Now, they're less than five. I don't think I can drive, Helene."

 "I'm on my way." Helene threw down the receiver and ran out of the room, grabbing coat, car keys and purse on the way.

 At the backdoor, she ran into Phillip and knocked him back a step.

 He grimaced and took a deep breath against a sudden shot of pain through his side. "Where are you going?" he managed to ask as she again tried to go through him.

 "Nancy's having her baby."

 "Now?" he asked with disbelief. "She can't be having it now."

 "Tell that to the baby. Everybody's gone. I've got to get there and drive her to the hospital." She slammed the door.

 Helene ran down the slope to the truck. She was scarcely aware Phillip had followed her and climbed in the passenger side.

 "What do you think you're doing?" she asked, as her shaking hands tried to get the key into the ignition.

 He reached over and pushed the key smoothly in, turning it. She barely had time to push in the clutch before the engine leaped to life. "I'm going with you," he said, looking over his shoulder. "Nothing behind you. Back straight up."

 "I know how to back up," she snapped, letting the clutch out too quickly. The truck lurched forward, and Phillip cursed as he slapped a hand against his side.

 "What's wrong with you?" Helene asked, glancing at him as she struggled to put it into the correct gear. It was as though she'd forgotten everything she ever knew about driving a stick shift. What a time to get amnesia.

 "I think I did crack a rib in either the fall off the horse or the fight," Phillip guessed as the truck thrust backward with the apparent speed of sound, then stopped abruptly, throwing him forward and earning another curse.

 "I told you so," she said untactfully. "You shouldn't come with me." She yanked the wheel around and put her foot on the gas pedal. "Where's Uncle Amos?" The momentum carried them both back against the truck seat.

 "He and Curly are on their way out to the back pasture. How far apart are her contractions?"

 "Five minutes, but what do you know about contractions anyway?"

 Phillip's face had paled. "I was there when my mother..."

 "What do you mean
there
?" Helene asked as she turned onto the main highway.

 He swallowed hard. "What it sounds like."

 "But hospitals."

 "No money."

 "What about welfare..."

 He clenched his jaw. "If you get welfare, welfare looks over your shoulder. My mom had some of us taken away a few times by people supposedly helping... When she got us back, she didn't go around any kind of social services."

 "But..."

 "I guess she didn't expect any problems. And she had Delores. She'd helped with the others and maybe she would have then, except..." Except nothing went right that night. He hoped it would be different with Nancy.

 "Oh Phillip, how could she expect you to..." Helene couldn't believe this. Women didn't have their babies at home. They went to hospitals. They had nurses and doctors, then flowers and friends to visit.

 His voice was toneless. "Delores didn't get there in time. Somebody had to help her... I was oldest." He stared out the window. "It's no big deal--if nothing goes wrong."

 She glanced over at him with horror. "Wrong? What do you mean--wrong?"

 "You spent enough time at the ranch to know," Phillip said. "Hey, watch out, you're swinging too wide for that corner."

 She corrected her steering, then glared at him. "Nothing better go wrong!"

 "Did Nancy call the doctor?"

 "Why?"

 "Well, I don't imagine she's going to make it to the hospital. Not if the contractions are coming this fast after so little time."

 "Yes. No. I mean, I think she said she called him. Should we call 911?" Helene began to shake. She couldn't imagine Nancy's baby being born at the ranch. She felt panic beginning to set in, even as she somehow kept the truck more or less on the highway.

 When Helene wheeled the truck into Nancy's driveway, she hoped to see an emergency helicopter preparing to land. Unfortunately all was quiet. A rooster crowing down toward the barns was the only sign of life.

 Phillip tried the kitchen door and found it unlocked. "Smart girl," he said, ushering Helene in ahead of him.

 Inside, Helene yelled, "Nancy," as she headed for the main floor bedroom.

 Opening the bedroom door, Helene heard Nancy let out a scream that nearly sent her right back out of the room. Bracing herself, she forced herself to not retreat. She followed Phillip into the room.

 Wearing a flannel nightgown, Nancy was lying in a brass bed, sweat or tears rolling down her cheeks, her belly rising impressively above the quilt she lay under. "Sorry," she managed between pants.

 "How far apart are the contractions?" Phillip asked as he moved to one side of the big bed.

 "Every two minutes now," Nancy managed before she had to start panting again. "I took Lamaze," she said after a moment, "but didn't plan to use it this way."

 "Did you call Doc?" Helene asked, stroking hair off her forehead.

 "I..." Nancy stopped again, practicing her breathing until the pain passed. "Yes. He's on his way too." She tried to smile as she looked up at Phillip. "Did she drag you along... for moral support?"

 The muscle in his jaw was twitching, but he calmly took Nancy's wrist, counting out her pulse rate. "No, I invited myself." He glanced at Helene. "I'll go see how long ago the doctor left." He added in a whisper, "And get a few things ready."

 "What do you mean ready?" Helene mouthed back at him.

 His eyes were emotionless, but he managed a faint smile, then was gone, leaving Helene to comfort Nancy as best she could. Lord, she prayed as she sat on the edge of the bed, please make this be okay. She wanted to say something soothing to Nancy, but didn't feel calm enough to manage the words. She settled for stroking her friend's hand and pasting an encouraging smile on her face.

#

 Helene went out onto the back porch to see where Phillip had gone. He was leaning against a post, smoking a cigarette and staring into the darkness. He didn't look at her when she came to stand beside him.

 "I made coffee," she said, running her hand down his arm.

 "Maybe... in a little."

 "Are you okay?"

 He shook his head taking another drag on the cigarette blowing the smoke into the darkness.

 "You were wonderful. With Nancy, I mean. And Doc Albertson said nobody could have done anything more than you did." When he said nothing, she asked, "What's wrong, Phillip?"

 His mouth was set into a hard line, and he didn’t look at her. "It just brought back a lot of memories. It was like going through it again when it was my mother."

 She put her arm around his waist and felt how cold he was. "I think you should come in and get some strong coffee."

“Maybe later. I’ll just finish the cigarette.”

She clung to him then, giving him her warmth as he smoked in silence. When he tossed the cigarette down, grinding it into the dirt, he put his arms around her, his face against her hair.

“Coffee now?” she asked. He nodded and followed her into the kitchen. In the light, she could see the strain on his face, the enhanced hollows of his face, the bleakness in his eyes.

 "I suppose now you wish you hadn't come with me," she said, pouring his coffee.

 "No." He swallowed back the urge to be sick and forced himself to drink the coffee. The hot liquid did seem to help.  "Sorry I'm acting like this," he muttered, holding the cup with both hands. He shook his head. "I thought I'd be okay. It was all so long ago."

 "How old were you?"

 "Ten."  He managed to take another sip of the coffee without spilling any. He could hear the baby crying, a good, healthy cry. "At least he's okay," Phillip said staring darkly into the blackness of the coffee.

 Helene frowned. "I thought you said-- I thought you said nothing went wrong with your mother."

 He shook his head. "No, I didn't. I said, when nothing goes wrong, it's no big deal. I didn't want you to worry any more than you already were."

 She felt suddenly sick. "What happened?"

 She saw the muscle jump in his jaw and knew he had his teeth clenched. Finally he said, "The cord was wrapped around his neck. It... There wasn't anything I could do. Nobody said it was my fault, but for years I kept thinking... if I'd just known what to do. If I'd..."

 "Oh my God... and yet you came with me."

 "I didn't figure it'd happen again, and if it had... I did know what to do now."

 "You were so calm for Nancy. You did everything right. I had no idea what it was costing you."

 He tried to smile and halfway managed it. "At least something good came out of those years."

 "I'm sure a lot of good came," Helene said, picking up his hand and stroking the back of it.