Read From The Wreckage - Complete Online
Authors: Michele G Miller
From The Wreckage - Complete (36 page)
They laugh and break up as West realizes his car is blocking someone who wants to leave.
“I like Jess,” Jules tells him as they get in his car and he expertly backs down the drive until he can maneuver a three point turn in an open space.
“Yeah, she’s cool.”
“Oh no,” she gasps; her mind thinking of something for the first time. “Please tell me you’ve never hooked up with her.”
His exasperated sigh fills the car. “No, Jules. Just friends.” His hands grip the black leather steering wheel and Jules regrets asking the question as she watches his stiff arms.
Touching his right arm tentatively, she’s relieved when he lowers it and allows her to string their fingers together. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It doesn’t matter.”
“You wouldn’t ask if it didn’t matter to you.”
She doesn’t reply because he’s right; it does matter to her. She’s seriously falling for this boy and his past matters. Her parents raised her to be smart and protect herself. She recalls all of the safe sex talks: all of his partners are your partners, and their partners are your partners; the horrifying slide in health class showing a girl who sleeps with one guy, but the man-whore had a string of one nighters, who had a string of one nighters, and the next thing she knows, she has fifteen STDs she can’t pronounce and a baby on the way.
West flips on the kitchen lights as they enter his house through the garage door. His home is twice the size of her own; a sprawling McMansion not far from her neighborhood in proximity, but in affordability it’s certainly a few tax brackets up the chart. The kitchen is beautiful. All sleek stainless steel appliances, black granite counters and cream cabinetry under the dim spotlights that light up.
“Wow.” The exclamation rushes from her lips as she takes in the high ceilings carved with arches and pendant lighting and the honey colored wood floors under her sandals that has her kicking them off immediately. She’s pretty sure she could eat off of them, they are that shiny.
“This kitchen is a cook’s dream.”
“My mom loved to cook…it was her thing.” She catches his sad smile as she bends down and picks up her sandals to carry with her. “My dad built this for her. The bathroom’s right there.” He points to an arched door to their left. She excuses herself; immediately grateful that he pointed it out first, since she’s had to go since they left the party.
After washing up, straightening her wild hair with her fingers and applying some lip-gloss from her purse, she exits the bathroom to find West with a bag of chips in one hand and two bottles of water in the other. The intimate smile on his mouth as she steps out captures every ounce of her attention. The lazy lift of his lips, the way his eyes narrow reflexively and then start to warm, the brown orbs melting her like the chocolate they resemble.
“Drop those shoes and follow me, gorgeous,” he murmurs in a voice only she gets to hear. Privately, in her head, she calls it his sexy voice, and
hot damn
it’s sexy. Especially when they are about to spend the night together. Alone. Together.
Alone! Together! Her heart jumps. Holy hell, she is spending the night with West, alone.
She follows him through large, dark rooms to a ridiculous showcase-type staircase. The small candlestick lamps adorning large wooden chests in the foyer light their way up. Jules slides her hand up the smooth wooden railing and her feet sink into the thick carpet lining the staircase. The wall running up the staircase is covered in black and white photographs, and she itches to study them in the light. They walk down a long hall with motion sensor nightlights flipping on as they continue past two doors on either side of the hallway and into the room at the end. The over-sized double doors are open and she sees an expanse of glass covering the far wall, allowing moonlight into what is clearly a sports-themed media room.
“Watch your step,” warns West; stopping at the door and nodding at the two steps she must take to enter the room.
He moves behind her and follows her as she enters deeper into the room. Her attention is drawn to the wall of jerseys, trophies and pictures. It reminds her of Stuart’s house and she wonders if every man with a sports-playing son doesn’t have a wall of fame for their kid. Then she thinks about the mantle of achievements her parents keep of hers in their family room and decides it’s a parent’s duty to showcase these things.
The recessed lights in the ceiling light up and her eyes go wide at the amount of accolades the Rutledge boys have amassed, including Mr. Rutledge himself. She stands in front of a picture that causes goosebumps to rise across her skin. West walks up behind her and bumps his chest into her back lightly as he holds a water bottle out for her.
“Thank you.” She studies the framed photograph of West and his brothers, Austin and Carson. All three are wearing football uniforms. Carson was at A&M, Austin at Hillsdale and West’s uniform is from when he was still playing in seventh grade. It’s the West she remembers best. The one she shared her first kiss with.
“That’s the last time we all suited up.” His chin rests on her shoulder and she moves her eyes to regard his face as he studies the picture. “My dad was crazy proud.”
The way he says it, as if perhaps his dad isn’t proud anymore, tears at her heart. So does the winsome way he speaks. She’s clueless as to what to say, so she takes a sip of water to cover her lack of a response.
“C’mere,” he whispers; his fingers tugging on the back of her shirt and pulling her to the seating in the middle of the room. Jules is surprised to find a double person leather chaise front and center in the room, directly across from the massive television screen on the wall. Flanking it are matching movie theater recliners. The chaise seems out of place in its perfect position of honor with a fuzzy red blanket across the back.
“This chair is amazing. I want one.” West stands at the end as she settles in. The leather is soft as butter and the cushioning is worn just enough to allow her to sink into the seat and get comfortable. She rolls onto her hip and raises her brows until West caves in and sits on the edge.
Passing her the chips, he pulls off his boots and slides his legs next to hers. He’s a little stiff at first, but Jules pulls her knees up so they touch his thighs through his jeans.
“You’re cold.” His hand touches her knee and rubs the goosebumps as he pulls the blanket from behind him and tugs it over her lap. “Better?”
“Perfect.” The blanket allows her to drop her cold bottle onto her lap and she opens the bag of chips. She stuffs one in her mouth and then holds one up to West’s lips. “I’m starving.”
His mouth opens and his tongue peeks out as he takes the chip.
“Did you not eat? We can go make something…”
“No. I don’t want to move. This is perfect.”
Reaching in for a handful of chips, his eyes lock on hers. “Perfect, huh?”
“Absolutely. Can I just sleep right here?” Setting the bag of chips down between them, she takes another long sip of water before speaking. “I’m glad you came home early.”
His fingers touch a lock of her hair hanging over her shoulder. “Me too. You seemed pretty beat up over your nightmare when you called me this morning. I was worried.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry, babe. We promised we would talk about these things and get through them together, remember?” Her eyes flick down to her lap and West tugs on her hair a little harder. “I thought this week was better.”
She snorts.
“I’m certainly not one to judge, but before the twister you barely partied, and as far as I know never really drank. You’ve also never punched anyone out. Again, this is as far as I know.” He raises his brows. It’s that pointed look her parents give her when they know she is holding back, and for a minute she hates how well he seems to know her.
“I’m barely hanging on, West. On a day-to-day basis I feel like a zombie going through the motions…except for when I’m with you. You are the only bright spot in my life right now.”
“Come here,” he requests; moving the chips to the floor. Jules doesn’t hesitate and slides his way, allowing him to wrap his arm around her back. She curls up into his side and stretches her arm around his abs. She tries to hide her face in his chest by rubbing her cheek against the soft cotton of his tee shirt, but he tips her chin up and puts a little distance between their upper bodies so he can look at her.
“You’ve been putting up a pretty good front, cheerleader, I thought things were okay. What’s going on with you?”
Jules tries to shake her head but his eyes lock on hers. His brows are drawn together, waiting for her to speak, and he doesn’t look like he’s going to take no for an answer.
“I have nightmares every night.” His brows indent more as he frowns. “Every night, West. Since the twister I have been reliving different scenarios of Tanya’s final moments.”
“Babe…I’m sorry. I wish I could take them away from you. Maybe you should talk to that counselor now?”
She’d made the mistake of telling West her parents wanted her to see someone about her grief. At the time, he was confused by the suggestion. He didn’t see her the way they did. Her parents knew something was different in her.
“I don’t think that will help.”
“It couldn’t hurt.”
She pulls away, irritated at the suggestion. “No. I don’t want to talk to anyone about it. I’ll be fine. It will all go away and I’ll be fine.”
“You just told me you feel like a zombie. That’s what you sounded like this morning…you couldn’t even speak when you called-“
She stops him, hating the concern in his voice. “That’s because this dream was different.” She stops to draw a breath. West just looks at her and waits for her to explain. “You were in it.”
“I was?”
“Yeah, and you’ve been in them before but this was…like I said, different.”
She closes her eyes and West brings her back to his chest, this time letting her hide her face against him.
“Tell me about it.”
With a sigh, she decides to explain all of the dreams she’s been having; the red sky, the feeling of never being able to get to Tanya in time. She tells him how he turned into a vampire and his chest vibrates in a silent chuckle when she continues. Finally she explains the latest nightmare. The scoreboard, the car coming at her, her brother and parents, and then she explains how he dies.
She stifles a yawn and he hugs her even tighter.
“I’m still here and so are your parents and Jason. We aren’t going anywhere.”
“I just want to sleep…one night of peaceful sleep, you know?” She closes her eyes as his hand strokes her head gently. “The only night I didn’t have a nightmare is the night I drank at the bonfire. I just want to sleep,” she murmurs again; her eyes so heavy now.
“Shhh, you sleep, Buffy. I’m here.”
“I didn’t have a nightmare that night.” Jules shifts in the chair and stretches her legs out in front of her. “I woke up stiff from sleeping on the chair, but well rested and in awe of the guy sleeping next to me. He’d taken care of me, yet again. Held me when I was sad, saved me from my guilt complex and acted like a gentleman when he could have taken advantage.
“After that weekend, the days began to blend together as September gave way to October. We followed a pattern: school, home, school, Monday through Friday. On the weekends we went to parties. I learned how to drink just enough to numb the pain without losing all control. I learned to deal with the nightmares, or at least hide them. I tried to let go of Tanya, to move on, but I couldn’t. We’d barely hung out the summer before she died, both so busy with life, and I felt guilty. I wanted to understand what she’d been going through and I was obsessed - so I decided to go to the source.
“It didn’t occur to me back then that investigating Tanya’s life was just another way to run away from the pain.”
“Is this seat taken?”
Jules stands behind Tommy, who leans over a notebook and sits at a large wooden desk in the school library with several books spread before him. He twitches at the sound of her voice, but doesn’t bother to look up as he answers.
“Uh, sure, if you want.”
He doesn’t see the frown marring her face at his response. Pulling up a chair, she sets her own books on the table while eyeing him. It's not lost on her the way he angles his body away from her. He raises his right arm and props his head in his hand. It’s a pretense to look busy; thoughtful. She knows it's his way of avoiding her and the conversation. Jules opens her own notebook, titles the paper with her blue pen and starts working on an outline.
She was supposed to return to class as soon as she checked out the books she needed for her English paper, but when she spotted Tommy’s bent head, she knew she needed to speak with him. She can count on one hand how many times they’ve spoken since school started.
Setting her pen down, she toys with the edge of her paper as she wades into a conversation with him. “Did I do something to you?”
He’s flipping through the pages of a classic when she speaks and his hand stills. “No.”
“Tommy?” She sighs; curious at his standoffish behavior. They’ve known each other most of their lives and even ran in the same circles, so she knows he is lying…but why?
He pushes away from the table and lets his book close as he leans back and crosses his arms. “You sure made a name for yourself at that party when you cold-cocked Aubrey, huh?”
“Tommy.”
“Jules,” he counters.
“Why do I feel like you’re avoiding me?”
With a shake of his head, he blows out a heavy sigh. “Because I am.”
He doesn’t sound happy about it, just resigned. “Why?”
He shrugs.
“I’m sorry I haven’t asked how you’ve been. I’ve been pretty self-centered.”
“Oh jeez, really Jules?” Tommy starts to pile his books together and stuffs them in his backpack as he stands. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“Sure I do, I should have-”
“Should have what? Asked me how I could have let her die? How if I’d stopped fighting with Carter Cooper sooner, maybe she would have been somewhere safe? How selfish I was?”
Her jaw drops at his revelations. The guilt is clear in every statement he makes and she cringes, because it’s the same guilt that hammers at her every night.
“You know she was in love with him, don’t you?”
“Him?”
“Carter. She wanted him and it made me crazy. She settled for me.”
“Whoa, she didn’t settle for you. You guys weren’t even -”
He laughs. “No, Jules…we
were
. We were a fling. Lots of benefits and not much else, if you know what I mean. I wanted more, though. I did.”
Her whole body sinks down and folds into itself as she slides lower in her chair. “I’m sorry.”
He throws her a look. “Me too. It sucks, so I ignore you. You didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” She nods. Her mind is frozen; her limbs numb from his statements.
“The bell’s about to ring, I gotta go. See ya around.” He holds her gaze for a moment before turning his back and walking away.
Ignoring the bell when it rings to signal the end of school, she sits there and replays what Tommy said. He and Tanya were evidently more intimate with each other than she ever knew. Not really surprising, since Tanya wasn’t known for being chaste. The troubling part was that Tanya kept it from her. That wasn’t like her at all. Then again, she recalls Tanya also had a fling with Carter in secret. And according to Tommy — the guy she was sleeping with up until her death — she was in love with Carter! Why, then, were they not together? What happened with them?
She decides to talk with Carter. It doesn’t cross her mind that none of it really matters at this point. In the weeks since Tanya died, she saw both Carter and Tommy display grief over her loss. This was her best friend. Her best friend who, maybe, she didn’t know as well as she thought she did. That revelation hurts almost as much as the guilt of not saving her that night. She’s still sitting there twenty minutes later, staring into space and thinking deep thoughts, when her phone goes off.
Fumbling with her shoulder bag, she pulls out her cell and sees it’s West.
“Hey, sorry! I’m coming,” she explains; grabbing her stuff and jumping up.
She hears his voice through her clouded brain. “Everything okay?”
Damn!
Her head explodes when she remembers her backpack is still in her English class.
“Jules?” West asks again
“Yeah, yeah. I was in the library, lost track of time. I need to run to Portman’s class to grab my stuff. I’ll be there in five.”
Hitting the ‘END CALL’ button, she hurries through the almost vacant halls. Jules enters her English class; shocking Mr. Portman as she simultaneously apologizes for taking so long and grabs her bag. After his indifferent nod her way, she rushes out and swings by her locker to grab a folder she needs for her first period class in the morning.
Jules spots West immediately when she comes out of the breezeway. He’s leaning against the brush guard on the front of his Jeep with his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles; his strong arms crossed over his waist. The position makes his biceps pull at the material of his tee shirt, giving a small peek-a-boo of his defined muscles. He moved his car into the almost-empty main student parking lot while waiting for her. He looks up and smiles the moment he sees her. It’s a warm smile, filled with both excitement and relief. Jules’ steps quicken so that her feet match the sudden racing of her heart as she breezes to his side. He stands and takes two steps away from his Jeep as she moves his way; raising his brows and following her every step with his eyes. Three more steps and he reaches his hands out to grasp Jules’ waist.
“Hi,” he drawls; pulling her body up close and personal to his. His hands slide down her back to round her bottom. He presses her into his hips possessively and she gasps. “Have I told you how much I miss you when you’re away from me?”
He captures her lips fiercely, sweeping his tongue into her mouth, and Jules is shocked with his ardent greeting. A horn sounds in the distance and a deep cat call follows it, but West doesn’t budge. Instead his mouth slants over hers, softer now as their tongues tangle. It’s delicious, and every one of Jules’ nerves spark to life as her hands curl into the hair at his nape. She holds his mouth to hers and he leans down over her; tilting her back in a dip and causing her backpack to slip off her shoulder. The heavy bag pulls their lips apart as it tugs on her arm.
“Wow,” she whispers, her voice breathless. “Must have been a rough hour and a half.”
West bends his neck closer and grazes his lips along her jaw while his hand releases its grip on her rear. He takes the heavy bag from her arm. “Every second away from you is rough,” he admits, and gives her skin a quick lick.
Jules shakes him away and flinches at his touch on her sensitive skin. “Gah, that tickles!”
“Can you come back to my place, or do you need to get home?”
“West?”
“I’ll be good, I promise.” He winks and makes a little ‘x’ across his heart with his finger. “Unless you don’t want me to be?”
Jules giggles. “I missed you too,” she confesses, and they walk to his Jeep.
The next day she makes an excuse to leave her fourth period class early so she can hunt down Carter Cooper. He looks confused when he sees her leaning against his shiny black sports car as he leaves the gym early. The football team always gets an early dismissal on Fridays since their last class is Strength Conditioning. The coaches like to let them go home to get a little rest before they have to report back to school for games.
“Hey,” he calls as he crosses the parking lot.
She’s surprised, but happy, to see him alone with nothing but a set of keys swinging around his finger.
“What happened with you and Tanya?” Jules blurts out when he is still ten feet away.
His face screws up in confusion and his feet freeze; rooting him to the ground. “I’m sorry?”
“You and Tanya — you obviously liked her. I saw you at her funeral with your sister, who also looked pretty upset, so they had to have met. That tells me it was something.”
He starts moving again and comes to stand next to her. “Where is this coming from?”
“Nowhere.” He gives her a look that clearly states he doesn’t believe her and she gives in. “I talked to Tommy. He said Tanya was hung up on you and only settled for him. She wasn’t one to settle, Carter, so why did you break it off with her?”
A small sputter of a laugh makes its way out of his mouth and he nods to his car. “Get in. I’ll give you a lift.”
She stands there as he climbs in and wrestles with what West will think. Deciding she’ll just shoot him a message, she climbs into Carter’s vehicle.
“I didn’t break it off with her. She dumped me.”
“She did?”
“Look, Jules. Tanya and I were one-hundred percent total attraction from the moment we met. Neither one of us considered the crap between our schools before we jumped into things. It shouldn’t matter, right? What school you go to, like we’re in some East Coast-West Coast rapper war. It’s pathetic.”
Thinking about the crap she and her friends have had to endure since school started, Jules is in complete agreement.
“You don’t need all the details, you just need to know that we spent every night for two weeks together and most of the days, before she pulled the plug.”
“Why, though? Tommy says she really liked you.”
“She did. I liked her too, and we struggled with it. I was pissed at her for it. Gave her a lot of shit in the first few weeks.”
“I still don’t understand why, though.”
“It was the rivalry. She said your squad would crucify her. She thought you and Katie would be pissed, and that-”
“Wait, wait, wait!” She runs her hands through her hair and presses her palms to either side of her head, trying to wrap her brain around everything.
“You’re saying she blamed us? Me and Katie?”
“She didn’t
blame
you; she was worried what you’d think. What all of the girls would think. She worried about other’s opinions; you know that.”
Jules broke into maniacal laughter. “Tanya was never worried about other people’s opinions. She always did whatever the hell she wanted.”
“Maybe you just thought she did. She looked up to you and Katie, Jules. She told me how strong you both were, how you were always so nice and sweet and how Katie could always be counted on for great advice. She said she rode your coattails.”
The sentiment brings hot tears to her eyes. She clutches at her stomach as it drops; making her feel sick.
“She loved you two. You were like sisters to her. It pissed me off at the time, but I get it now. I saw you two at her funeral.”
Jules looks up to see that they’re parked in a grocery store parking lot not far from campus, and she wants to throw open the door and puke all over the black asphalt.
“I never would have told her to dump you. If I’d known…I,” she breaks. Her heart can’t handle this new, heavier burden lying upon it. “I never would have…”
Carter’s hand touches her shoulder as she folds in half and cries into her hands.
“What happened the night of the storm? Why were you even fighting with Tommy?”
“I was a prick. I don’t know; I gave her a hard time about picking him. All I knew about Tommy was that we played against each other for years. He’s not a bad guy, I guess, but I was jealous. Mad that she moved on with him instead of staying with me. It was stupid.”
“In the end, she hated me.” His voice is muted and filled with regret she knows all too well. She shakes her head and swipes at her wet cheeks.
“Tommy said he knew she wasn’t over you. I don’t think she hated you at all.” She recalls her conversation with Tanya and Katie that night on the way to the Ice Shack. Tanya had been talking to Katie about actually trying to have a real relationship with someone. She was apparently thinking of having a serious relationship; whether it was with Tommy or Carter, she truly had no idea.
Carter puffs his cheeks out and purses his lips as his fingers press to his forehead and rub over his eyebrow thoughtfully. “I called her a slut,” he admits. Jules closes her eyes slowly. She bites her lip and turns away as Carter makes his confession. “She smart mouthed me when I asked her how she could choose Tommy over me. I think my exact words after that were, ‘
I should have known not to expect more from a slut like you
’.”
He slams his palm into the steering column and Jules jumps at the explosion of anger. Growling, he mutters and leans against the wheel. “Go…Jes…fff, ugh.” The slew of half-curse words slip from his lips. “I can’t forgive myself for that. I called her a slut, Tommy attacked me immediately and then the damn sirens went off. By the time it registered with us what was happening, everything was chaos. We all ran, and then…” His voice trails off and Jules takes a shaky breath.
Hanging on every word, she waits. Her arms are wrapped around her chest and her fingers dig into her upper arms as she tries to hold herself together. Fear of falling apart, literally cracking at the seams, takes over as she envisions those last moments.