Read From The Wreckage - Complete Online
Authors: Michele G Miller
From The Wreckage - Complete (61 page)
Jules is sitting on the kitchen island talking with Toby as he mixes drinks, when one of the guys nearby shouts.
“Hey, eye candy! Throw me one of those beers, would ya?”
She reaches across the counter, grabs a beer, and tosses it across the kitchen to the whistles of the crowd. They’d been asking for her help all night and at some point it was Toby who realized every time she stretched behind her to grab a beer from the cooler she was showing off a little thigh as her skirt rose. She doesn’t bother pretending to be offended. Most of the crowd is made up of Austin’s friends and they still assume she is off limits since Austin hasn’t bothered to tell them otherwise. They are guys being guys, so she laughs and shakes her head at their antics.
“Hey, when are you gonna dump Austin and let a real man have a chance?”
“Well… if I saw a real man around, I might consider it,” she calls back and looks at Toby with a wry grin. “No offense.”
”None taken,” he laughs, winking at her. Suddenly, his face turning comical at whatever he sees over her shoulder.
“Awe, c’mon, candy girl. Don’t you need someone to keep you warm on the nights he’s away?”
“I think I’m cutting you off, Brenden.”
“I think if Austin were here, they wouldn’t be hitting on you like that.”
The sarcastic voice behind her causes her to jump and her pulse to race. West seemingly appears out of thin air and skirts his way around the counter, where he leans casually against the island next to her dangling legs. The shirt he wears hugs the muscles in his arms tightly and she’s struck, again, by how much he’s changed since she saw him last.
She sits there, her mouth open wide, as he looks up over his shoulder and smiles at her. His black hair looks damp at the ends and he smells fresh, as if he recently got out of the shower and came straight to this party.
“Hey man, it’s been a while,” Toby nods and throws his hand out. She watches them in silence as they do a high-five handshake combo thing. “Hey, asshats,” he calls to the guys Jules had been throwing beers to all night. “I’m guessing you haven’t met West yet.”
From the corner of her eye, she sees West’s brows rise and the guys standing around stare at him with confusion. It’s obvious to her they don’t know who he is.
“Austin’s brother,” she finally tells them when neither West nor Toby bother to explain.
The laughs and “no way” comments that typically accompany a group of college-aged guys ring out. Introductions go around and they chat about the away game this afternoon.
“I missed it, unfortunately,” West offers and Jules can’t help but gape at him. He didn’t miss a game when they were together last year. What would make him miss one now?
“So, brothers away and you’re checking up on his eye candy?” Brenden asks, and she wants to vanish.
“Something like that,” he mutters, returning back to leaning on the counter at her side.
Jules sits there, a casual observer, as the guys continue to talk and Toby continues to mix drinks for newcomers. She considers slinking away, but her position in the middle of the kitchen and right next to West means she can’t get away unnoticed. When a bunch of sorority girls enter the house twenty minutes later, Brenden and his gang finally excuse themselves and Jules finds herself alone with Toby, West, and the liqueur.
She’s studying her manicure when West clears his throat and finally speaks again. “The bartender always gets the prettiest girls hanging around, huh, Toby?”
“No doubt, man.”
She looks up and bites back a smile at West. His face is so close to hers, she can smell the woodsy scent she recognizes as purely West Rutledge.
“Let me grab you a beer,” she offers, leaning over as she did for Brenden and the guys to dig a can out of the cooler. Her left arm reaches across her body as she goes to hand him the beer and he shakes his head.
“No thanks. I don’t drink anymore.” His eyes flick down to the beer in her hand and then back to her face.
“Since when do you not drink?” she asks at the same time as his face changes. It’s like he’s seen a ghost and he grabs her wrist before she can pull away. His touch makes her insides go crazy.
She realizes, too late, what he’s seen. His thumb rubs over the small tattoo at the base of her palm and she swallows hard at the caress. Her blue eyes divert away from his dark ones as he looks over the permanent reminder she wears.
It’s a small anchor, nothing fancy, but there’s no way he can deny knowing exactly what it means to her. To them.
He leans infinitely closer, his thumb still moving over her skin, and she makes a fist to keep from shaking. His hand slides up her arm; his thumb finding the long scar running the length of her forearm and he drops her arm as if it were a hot coal.
“Since I almost killed you the last time I did,” he whispers and it takes her a moment to realize he is answering her question.
Standing straight, he steps away from her; holding his hand up before his mouth tightens and he walks away. Just like that. He steps out of the kitchen without a backward glance and Jules is left with shaking limbs, a confused head, and one very shocked Toby staring at her.
She runs her fingers through her hair as Toby stands there. “It’s complicated.”
“I’ll say. Your scar, he’s the reason you got it?”
The kitchen is starting to fill up again, but Toby ignores them as he asks Jules the question.
“I didn’t know anyone paid attention to it.” She slides off the counter and pours herself a small shot. Throwing her head back, she lets the liquid fire burn down her throat and into her stomach; the warmth knocks out the chill West left behind when he walked away.
“Did he cause it?” Toby asks again.
“No. It wasn’t his fault.” Her hand moves to the bottle again and he stops her.
“He seems to think it is.”
Toby looks at her and she agrees silently, tears pricking her eyes as she nods. Toby moves the shot glass away from Jules. He turns, looking at the path where West exited the kitchen.
“Go after him.”
“What!”
He laughs, “Jules, seriously you think I don’t know you and Austin aren’t a couple? He calls you ‘eye candy’ and never touches you. I’m a bartender; I’m trained to notice this stuff.”
“I hate to break it to you, Toby, but you’re a frat boy drink server. Not an actual bartender.” She tries to be cute, sarcastic even, but the stress of the moment has left her voice shaky.
“So what? I’m not wrong. Go after him,” he says again, more forcefully.
“Why?”
“Because you care.”
Jules heart races, her mind toys with her. “It’s not that simple.”
Toby levels a look on her. It’s daring her to move.
The look in West’s eyes when he saw her tattoo flashes before her. That warm melting chocolate gaze that had seduced her more than a few times in the past is seared in her memory. She wants to be over him, and yet, she’s not. She never was and everyone’s been right. They need to talk things through.
She’s been angry, and let her pride get the best of her by refusing to let him back in; but it’s been a lesson in futility. They need to iron things out once and for all.
“Thanks, bartender,” she teases, pressing a friendly kiss to his cheek and then begins elbowing her way through the crowd in search of West.
She scans the house, looking for his tall dark head among the sea of people dancing and hanging out around the large open space. She notices Jess tucked into a corner talking with some guy and she makes her way to her friend’s side, excusing herself as she slides between them.
“Have you seen West?” she whispers and Jess straightens from her lazy position against the wall.
“West?” she asks, surprised. “No. He’s here?”
“Yeah, he’s here,” Jules says as she looks over the heads in room. “I’m looking for him now. You’re the DD tonight, right?”
“Yep. Promise I haven’t had a drink.” Jess crosses her heart with her index finger as she asks, “What’s your plan?”
Jules looks at her friend and shrugs. The girls have been after her for weeks to work things out with West and now she finally can. She can see the hopeful look in Jess’ eyes as they stare at each other.
“If I don’t come back before you’re ready to go call my cell; I’m going to try and find him.”
“And if you find him, might I be heading home alone?” Jess asks with a wink and a smile, giving Jules hope.
She doesn’t want to go that far, but she acknowledges the possibility to Jess. “I don’t know. Call me.”
Jess pulls her into a quick hug, whispering ‘good luck’ into her ear as she lets her go.
Thinking West might have intended to leave, Jules rushes out the door and down the drive to look for him. She doesn’t know what type of car he drives anymore and the driveway and street are lined with vehicles. She walks to the street and looks both ways down the road. Seeing nothing, she considers going to the back of the house when a car alarm beeps twice.
A light goes on in a large truck on her left and she rushes towards it when she sees his silhouette leaning against the driver’s door.
“You’re leaving?” she cries out, drawing the looks of a few bystanders.
His right hand is on the driver side handle, his left is draped up across the top of the door, and his head drops at the sound of her voice, the top of it resting against the window as if to brace himself when he speaks.
“Yeah, I need to go.”
She stops at the hood of the black over-sized truck. “Why did you come here tonight? You knew Austin wasn’t going to be here, so why bother?”
He doesn’t move from his spot and she knows he’s grappling with something.
“It’s been four weeks,” she points out, recalling the amount of time since the vigil and his phone call to Austin that morning.
He groans and pushes away from the glass and turning to lean his back on the truck. He looks straight ahead instead of at her as he answers her. “I know.”
“Four! So why did you come?” She’s angry now. She tries to hold it in, but suddenly she can’t. He could have called her and asked her about Austin. He could have fought for her, instead he ran. Again.
“I wanted to see you. Katie said you were here.”
“Katie? How’d you-”
“Austin told me what dorm you live in and I went by earlier hoping to talk. Katie told me you were here.”
She mentally curses both Austin and Katie for not sending her any type of warning signal. “So, then why are you leaving?” she asks again.
“Jules - I need to go. I shouldn’t have shown up without calling you, I’m sorry.” He opens his door and she slams her palm down against the side of his gorgeous shiny black vehicle.
“Sorry? Wow, so sorry that you’re not even going to bother to stick around and talk, huh? You’re just walking away… again.” Her hand tugs at her hair, scooping it away from her face and to the side. “I don’t know why I’m surprised; you didn’t care enough to stick around the last time. Not even to see if I was okay.”
She spins to leave and the truck door slams behind her. The loud clatter of keys dropping to the ground sounds as West grabs her from behind and pulls her back. He releases her, spinning her to face him, and he pushes her up against the truck.
“Now wait a damn minute. Is that what you think? That I didn’t care?”
She shrinks inwardly, momentarily taken aback by his anger, before she straightens up; throwing punches with her words.
“You left me with nothing, West. Only a letter. That your brother delivered. I woke up from a coma broken in a million places, and then you broke me again.”
His grip loosens as she stabs him with each word. “I did what I thought was right.”
“How convenient for you,” she replies, trying to ignore the pain in his brown eyes.
“Convenient? I lost seven months trying to make it up to you. I gave up everything for you!”
His admission hurts and she whispers, “I didn’t ask you to.”
“You didn’t have to!” He steps back with a curse, his eyes avoiding hers. The nearest street lamp casts them in a spotlight and she relishes this moment. Being this near to him again, even while fighting with him.
“I almost killed you! Don’t you see? It was the least I could do. I had to make it right.”
“No! No, you didn’t have to make it right. That night wasn’t your fault.”
“It was. I’d been drinking. I was screwing around-” His defense of his actions fall on deaf ears because she never blamed him and she needs for him to know this. Now.
Jules grabs the fabric at the edge of his dark shirt and tugs on it, to keep his attention as she speaks. “You were careless, West. We all were. It wasn’t your fault alone and I didn’t want you to take the fall for it.” She starts to reach for his face, but forces her hand to stop. “I never would have asked you to do that for me.”
“You wouldn’t have to.” His voice is thick as their gazes meet. His dark eyes cutting straight through her heart and she flashes back to the night of the twister when he’d met her gaze and gave her his signature sly grin over the picnic table before all hell broke loose. “I will always do whatever it takes to make sure you’re happy, Jules. That’s what it means to love someone.”
Her breath catches at his declaration, even as her mind screams at her to run before he breaks her heart again.
“How do you do it?” he asks as he backs away to give her room.
“Do what?”
She notices his eyes flick to her arm. The sadness in his face is unbearable. She recognizes the guilt in that cursory glance, because it’s the same look she used to wake up to every morning after the tornado when she blamed herself for ‘allowing’ Tanya to die.
“You live with the physical reminders of that wreck every day, and yet you stand here and talk to me. You have every right to punch me and hate me, yet you’re asking me to stay?”
The tension of his question is broken by the sound of someone calling her name. “Jules?”
She turns to see Levi walking up the street with a few friends in tow.
“Damn it,” she mutters to herself at his poor timing. They’d made plans a few days ago to meet up at the party tonight. She never thought for a moment she’d run into West.
“Everything okay?” Levi asks, his steps quickening and West stiffens as he steps aside, his face already adopting that blank façade of someone who doesn’t care.
She waves towards Levi to stop him and responds hastily, “Yeah. I’ll be right there.”
“West?” she asks as he bends to pick up the keys he dropped earlier.
“You should go, your date is waiting,” he hints. “I’ll see ya around.”
She stares him down for a moment and he crosses his arms across his chest. “Just go, would you?”
She nods and lifts her left arm, her finger tapping her tattoo as she speaks.
“You see this? I did this when I thought I hated you, months ago. When I was so angry I thought I needed something to help me forget. Except, the truth is, I didn’t do it to forget you; I did it to remind myself that I never once hated you.” Her voice breaks as she adds, “Never.”
Spinning on the sole of her shoe she hurries to the sidewalk where Levi is waiting, a curious look upon his face, and they head back to the party together without a backward glance.