From Winter's Ashes: Girl Next Door Crime Romance Series - Book Two (27 page)

Chapter 33

Joselyn Whyte

“So, you’re
not
going tonight? I don’t understand.” Sadie stood beside Joselyn in front of the mirror, dusting bronzer over her cheeks, conversing via reflection.

Joselyn studied their faces side-by-side. So different. Sadie had elegant features and wavy platinum blonde locks. Sort of all-American. While Joselyn’s raven, poker-straight hair, and nearly clear and strange slanted eyes bent toward a more unconventional look.

The eclectic amalgam of her Greek and Scottish heritage was distinctive. And the more she settled into her skin as she grew up, the more she remembered her mother’s face—saw her as she was, staring back at Joselyn from the mirror of the past.

Sadie passed over the bronzer, and Joselyn went to work faking a subtle glow. Neither of them had an ounce of color left by wintertime.

The obscure thought reminded her of Kendi. The beautiful caramel of her skin, the sandy blonde frizz of her springy little curls sticking out in every direction—she sparkled despite her circumstances. And maybe it was those circumstances, though notably different from her own, that had formed the instant kinship between them. Their shared loss and neglect.

It made Joselyn want to be in Kendi’s life. To be someone like Yia-Yia, who could turn the tragedy of the hand she’d been dealt into something sweet. To give Kendi a sense of belonging like Joselyn had felt with Yia-Yia, for a time.

But then again, with the target on her back and her days numbered, she’d better not.

“Hey, are you okay? It’s only been two days since this whole fake breakup, but you’ve been in a funk ever since.”

“Yeah.” Joselyn shook her head to nix any pointless plans for the future. “I mean, no. I’m not going tonight.”

Her brain had been stubbornly stuck on Finn Carson. Story of her life. She’d tried to comfort him, show him that he wasn’t to blame. But it all seemed to bead off of that tough skin. His torment was a difficult thing to witness in such a strong man, and despite her efforts to combat his self-sabotage, he seemed intent on burning away with guilt, dying slowly … like Kendi’s brother.

She should have seen it coming, but she’d been blindsided when he’d pulled out on their arrangement. The resolve on his face almost frightening. She knew right then, she’d lost him.

Again.

There was nothing else to say but good-bye. When the words left her lips there was something in his eyes that transported her back to that last glance on prom night.

She shuddered with the helpless plague of misery that forced her to that dark place, remembering the long walk home on that barren road. Despair and pain so deep she thought she might die—wanted to die—as she’d clutched the shreds of her dress and the dead and useless cell phone in her frostbit fingers. The unusual chill of that early spring morning knifed through her skin and leached into her bones. But the vicious nip of the air had nothing on the cold that had encased her heart.

Joselyn jerked herself from the ruthless pull of depression, still feeling the slither of deception lying in wait. “It’s for the best, Sadie. There’s a history between Finn and I that I’ve never told you about. And trust me—dragging out those skeletons will not be a fun anatomy lesson.”
More like an autopsy
. “Better if we move on before this gets more complicated than it already is.”

Her fingers dabbed concealer on the dark circles beneath her eyes. The words had emerged with flawless conviction. They sounded right, but they felt all wrong.

Until she pictured Finn in that fiery house—fighting to save a little girl’s life. Joselyn knew she needed to walk away, if for no other reason than to spare him. And not simply his conscience. His life.

A warm hand touched the frigid plane of her arm. She could feel the cold taking over again. As if Finn had taken all of her warmth with him.

“You really care about him, don’t you?”

Tears prickled behind her eyes but managed to stay put. She felt like tossing a carefree smile Sadie’s way and saying it was all in the past.

But Joselyn’s defenses had failed her. Her denial cluttered in her throat, and even if she could force the words from her lips, no one would believe them. Least of all Sadie, with her wise, discerning eyes and tender heart, Joselyn feared she knew more than had ever been uttered.

The memories from that night had never been put to rest. The past, in all its haunting forms, still lurked around every corner. And not only for Joselyn, for Finn too.

Clearing her throat, she changed the subject, praying Sadie wouldn’t push it any further. “So, I guess you’re stuck with me tonight. She plucked a brush out of Sadie’s hand and awakened her pale cheeks with a pink shimmer of blush. “It feels like a cheat night. Some ice cream, brownies, maybe? Oh, and I hear there’s a Christmas movie marathon on TV. Maybe we could catch
It’s a Wonderful Life
. It’s almost a week until Christmas, and I need a little boost of holiday cheer.”

Sadie grabbed a palette of eye shadow and worked a smoky streak across Joselyn’s lids.

Before Joselyn fully appraised the makeover, she caught Sadie’s eyes, so keenly attuned to everything Joselyn was trying to hide.

In them, she saw Finn looking back at her. Her friend’s eyes were so like his they made her ache for him. Physically ache. As if she didn’t already grasp the full meaning of the term “love hurts” by now. 

A somber smile tipped Sadie’s lips. “Of course we can do a girls’ night. But if you eat any more sugar I’m afraid you might slip into a diabetic coma. We’ll have to get some real food—and for Pete’s sake, some meat on your bones. I don’t know how you can eat candy all day and still fit in a size four. Never met anyone as addicted to chocolate and allergic to exercise as you. It’s not fair. How on earth are we friends?” Sadie’s playful sneer a valiant attempt to lighten the mood.

“Oh, puh-lease. You wear the same size as me.” Though Joselyn knew she was more of a shapeless stick figure and Sadie was enviably curvy and athletic.

“Yeah, right. I stretch a six until the seams are one wrong move away from rupture, and you’d could string both of my stunted legs end to end to match one of your runway gams. What I wouldn’t do for long legs. And as a bonus, I have to run my brownie-lovin’ bootie off every day to afford our weekly binges and still be able to pour into my pants.”

Joselyn could only roll her eyes.

Sadie withdrew a tube of lip gloss and slicked over Joselyn’s lips. “We’re getting real food for your skinny butt, and that’s final. Let me make a quick call. Be right back.” Smoothing some flyaway hairs, she arranged Joselyn’s locks over her shoulder and left the room.

Joselyn appreciated Sadie’s angle for flattery and distraction, but her mind was immediately elsewhere. “It’s for the best.” Studying her reflection, Joselyn recited the words she’d proclaimed about the “breakup” and begged them to take root in her heart.

She’d simply have to endure tonight, and the company Christmas banquet tomorrow night. Then, she could forget all about Finn and concentrate on staying safe until the authorities figured this whole mess out.

Okay, so forgetting all about him might not be such an easy task; ten years of practice and she was still hopeless. But, she might be able to manipulate that love into hate again. She’d done it before. She could do it again, right?

Just two more days.

“Ooo, how about this one?” Sadie held up a newly acquired piece Joselyn had picked up from her store. A fitted three-quarter-sleeved minidress. The sexy little number with a tight hem in smooth black cashmere was way too dressy for grabbing a pizza. But she heard Yia-Yia’s voice in her head,
“In the words of Karl Lagerfeld, ‘One is never over-dressed or under-dressed with a Little Black Dress.’”

Still. “I thought you said you wanted to go to JJ Twig’s. Isn’t that like a bar and grill kinda place?”

Sal and Archer were among the guard post on watch tonight. Sadie had called Archer to make sure they had an escort for girls’ night. The boys expressed some concern but were swayed with the promise of leftovers for their stake out. And though Joselyn had voiced her intention to stay in, Sadie persisted with the planning.

“But we’re all primped and made up. Might as well dress to match. You can dress it down with these plum-colored tights and those cute ankle boots.” Shoving the clothes at Joselyn, Sadie discarded another fail onto the growing pile of misses at her feet and plucked an off-the-shoulder top off a hanger. She slipped it over her head and gave a shrug, deciding that it paired with her skinny jeans and knee-high boots.

Joselyn issued her reluctance once more with a sigh and a blatant eye roll before she shucked off her zip hoodie and yoga pants and wormed her way into the snug dress and tights.

She stood in front of the full-length mirror and saw that her fingertips hung further down than her skirt. Though the top of the dress was perfectly modest. And the whole thing was a bit snug. According to Yia-Yia—and famed costume designer Edith Head—
“Your dresses should be tight enough to show you’re a woman and loose enough to show you’re a lady.”
Man, she was full of those tonight. And this dress, well, it was all woman.

At least she had dark tights on—somehow tricking the eye into assuming there was more to the skirt than there actually was. But the four-inch heels made her legs look like stilts regardless.

Sadie whistled. “Wow, girl. I might have to borrow that dress sometime. Archer would lose his mind. Then again, perhaps I should wait until after the wedding. No need to fuel the fire.” She winked and draped Joselyn’s mother’s locket around her neck. “Okay, you ready?”

“Are you sure we can’t stay in tonight?” Joselyn felt like sulking around anyways, and if she pouted, Sadie might give in. Maybe.

“Come on. You have been miserable for forty-eight hours. You haven’t left the house. And to be honest, you are lucky to have me because if I hadn’t kicked your butt into the shower, you’d still have that two-day-old bedhead and smell like Oreos and peanut butter M&M’s. We need some sustenance and fresh air. Trust me.”

Huffing, Joselyn trudged to the door and slipped into her Burberry coat that hid essentially every ounce of her dress—scandalously alluding to nothing underneath but the deep burgundy tights encasing her legs.

She was usually more modest, but today she didn’t care. Might as well create a stir. Her father had been calling all afternoon. Probably to give her a list of dos and don’ts for dinner, but she couldn’t face him—didn’t want to deal with the backlash. He’d probably soil his kilt if he saw her dress. Even the thought tickled her rebellious side with satisfaction. “Let’s get outta here. I think you’re right. I could use some fresh air.”

A knock sounded on the door right when Joselyn pulled on the knob.

Everything stopped, including her heart.

Looking devastating in a charcoal suit and starchy white shirt open at the collar, she stared into the eyes that had hijacked her dreams.
Finn
.

Some malfunction in her brain made it impossible to form any semblance of speech at that moment. But she could scarcely breathe, so wordlessness wasn’t her only problem.

“Hi, Joss.” The rumbly timber of his voice caught on the cold winter air and shivered through her coat with inexplicable warmth. He didn’t smile, but the gleam in his eyes was enough to have her completely undone in two seconds flat.

Snap out of it!

Her brain kicked back in and scolded her pathetic swooning heart.

“What are you doing here?” She hiked her purse up onto her shoulder and managed to fold her arms around herself instead of launching into his.

He glanced at something beyond her, and following his line of sight she caught Sadie ducking around a corner.

Unbelievable.
Sold out by her best friend. “I’ll get you, my pretty.” Joselyn called over her shoulder. No wonder Sadie had forced her to get all dressed up.

“Joss, I—”

“Listen, I don’t know what you think you’re doing, showing up like I’ve been pining for you, but I have plans, so if you’ll excuse me—”

“Oh, you have plans all right. With me.” His eyes hardened over. That cocky grin he loved so much fell back into place.

“I seem to remember you backing out. What makes you think you can just waltz on over here and pick up where you left off without so much as a—”

His hand covered her mouth—it was becoming a thing for them. “Zip those hot lips, and I’ll explain myself.”

It was insulting—and she seriously considered unleashing her teeth into his hand—but she bit her lip beneath and glared her impatience.

He pulled away, but not before his thumb traced her lips over and back.
Why must he torment me?

“I wanted to come here and tell you I was wrong.” His eyes bore into hers. She searched them for his ever present sarcasm and yet not a hint of teasing could be found. 

She felt her jaw dislocate. Had she heard him right?

“I—I guess I panicked. I don’t know what to say other than I was an idiot and I’m sorry. I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Oh, how she wished she could believe that. Surrendering would be so easy. Easy, but stupid. And she’d already concluded that when it came to Finn, she was about as dumb as they come.