Frost Kisses (Bitter Frost #4: Frost Series) (11 page)

“But we belong together, Breena!” Logan was protesting, no longer caring that Kian was within earshot. “We grew up together in Gregory. I knew your mother...we were going to go back to Gregory, to see her.”

I felt a pang. “That was another life, Logan,” I said. “My life is here now, and I have responsibilities.”

“And he's a prince, is that it?” Logan shouted. “I am a prince, too – of my people! And regardless of how the Fey see the wolves – we are a noble race!”

“It's not about that,” I said. “I love you – I'll always love you. As a friend, Logan. But what we had: it was an enchantment.”

“I don't believe you,” Logan shook his head. “It was real – you felt it! You must have felt it! That snowflake of immortality, whatever Kian gave you changed your feelings for me. That’s where the real spell is.”

I looked down to disguise my red cheeks.

“I've always known I was destined to love a fairy woman,” Logan said. “That I would marry her. I promised my grandfather, before he died – it was the prophecy made of me at my birth, and I swore to him I would carry it out. And carry it out I will!” And with that, before Kian could stop him, he stepped in and kissed me.

His touch was electric. I still felt echoes of that love potion Wort had put on me – Logan's kiss brought back the memory of our passionate nights, of our ecstatic days, of the way it felt when Logan put his hands upon the contours of my body. But I couldn't let that sway me. I stepped backwards, pushing Logan away harshly. I wouldn't let this spell – or its aftermath – control me.

“And what about the Winter snowflake?” Kian cut in, clearly having had enough of this scene. “The one her soul accepted – that proved, as you can well see by her silver blood – that she is my intended? Or did you just conveniently forget about that part of her destiny in your obsession with your own?”

“Why don't we ask Breena? Does she want to listen to some stupid snowflake – or to her heart?” Logan turned his gaze on me.

Kian turned to me too. “You're right,” he said. “I've been a fool. Breena – if you do love him, I'll step aside.” His voice was confident, even cocky, but I could detect a trace of vulnerability in his voice. His face grew paler, white as snow, and I knew he was afraid of my answer.

“Logan....” My voice grew hoarse with the difficulty of what I had to say. “Kian is my intended. He is my love. He always has been. The spell – you can't blame us for it. But we can blame Wort and Delano. And we can fight together....the three of us....for what we've lost. Our dignity. Our sanity. And the peace of Feyland. The Pixies took it from us – and it's time to take it back. I don't want to marry you, Logan – but I'm not about to marry Kian either. Right now, the only thing that matters is that we have a united kingdom of peace. And I need both of you to be there for me.” I sighed. “Right now, we need to focus on peace. Not who I'm going to marry or not marry.”

Both Kian and Logan looked ashamed. They knew that what I said was true. I took Logan's hand in my left hand, and Kian's in my right. “I don't know what I'd do without both of you. If it was not for you both, I would be Delano’s bride by now… so you see, all of us have to work together.”

Kian and Logan looked uncomfortable at being in such near proximity to each other. “Very well,” said Logan. “I promise not to kill you... for now.”

“Very well, Wolf. I promise not to kill you... for now.”

I finally let myself smile. “Well, that's all we can hope for right now. We have bigger enemies to fight than each other. And we need to start fighting them.”

Hand in hand in hand, we walked onwards towards the Summer Kingdom. This was one peace, I was able to help broker… for now.

Chapter 11

A
s we walked through the low, sunny dales of the Bloom Hills, where the sun-dappled hillsides were bright and sparkling with pastel flowers, we heard a soft neigh come from behind us. We turned around, our hands rushing to our weapons as we suspected another attack. But what we saw instead was a doe-eyed, whinnying horse, with a tawny mane and a yellow, buttercup-colored coat tinged with green that, though scratched, was nevertheless shiny and smooth.

“Daisy!” I cried, rushing to the horse. It was the same horse I had stolen from the Pixie kingdom, and ridden all the way into the Feyland forests. I had been sorry to lose the horse when Kian and I had tumbled off the cliff, but from the looks of things Daisy had been able to find us again. She whinnied with glee and galloped up to me. “I know this horse,” I said to Logan. I turned to Kian. “She must have been able to find us by our scent....”

“A pixie horse…” Kian noted, looking at the green tint of Daisy’s coat. “Strongest trackers of all Feyland horses. This certainly makes things easier,” said Kian, producing an apple from his saddle-bag and proffering it to the horse, which gobbled it joyfully and noisily. “Breena and I can ride while the Wolf transforms into his original form.”

Logan shot us both a look of steaming jealousy, and my heart broke for him. I knew that our love had been only a spell, but even now seeing him in pain made me want to cry. I couldn't make him suffer – not when he had been so noble, not when he had sacrificed so much. “It'll slow us down if we're both on the horse,” I said to Kian. “You take Daisy and I'll walk with Logan – you can ride on ahead and scout for us.”

“Nonsense,” said Logan. “You'll ride on me.” He crossed his arms. “It'll be faster riding a Wolf than riding a mare, especially one carrying two people.”

Kian gave a cold, reluctant nod. “I suppose,” he said. “If that is what is more feasible.”

“It's fine,” I cut in quickly, giving Kian a bright smile that was more chipper than I felt. “It'll help us get to the Summer Court faster.” I sighed – the last thing I wanted to do right now was to deal with more tension between Kian and Logan. I couldn't blame either of them, but in a way that made it worse, rather than better. Somehow I felt like everything was my fault, like I had led them both on. But I was true to Kian up until I fell under Wort’s love spell.

No
, I told myself.
It's Wort's fault – nothing more.
And yet I knew that was not strictly true. Even before the love spell, I had been attracted to Logan – we'd had a brief romance early in my time in Feyland. But I'd ended things, knowing my feelings for Kian were too powerful. Yet as Logan transformed once more into the sleek, grey wolf, and as I mounted his arched back, twisting my fingers in his pelt to stay upright, I felt the familiar memories of us together, rushing back to me. When we were engaged, we had spent a great deal of time like this: after mornings tangled together in bed, enjoying the satin sheets and silken pillows of the Summer palace, we would go for rides through Feyland, just like this. My thighs tightly clinging to his back, my fingers pulling at his hair, feeling the wind whipping through us. I remembered the passion that Logan and I had shared, and my body shivered involuntarily as my nerves tingled at the recollection. Logan’s love for me had always made him passionate as the wolf he was, yet caring and gentle as my sweetest friend. I had noticed that ever since my transformation into a fairy, my body had become more sensitive, more attuned to changes in the world around me. Logan's muscles felt tighter than ever – his fur softer and smoother. My attraction to him, even now, was stronger as my fairy magic sensed our connection and transformed it – making it more powerful, as everything was more powerful to me now.

At last we stopped to rest as the sun hung heavy and nebulous above us. Night would come soon, and the horse needed to drink. Kian led Daisy a few hundred yards off, to a stream he remembered where the water tasted fresh and clean and the banks grew ripe with green herbs and the scent of tarragon.

Logan and I were alone together for the first time since our reunion. I could see Logan looking at me warily, trying to find the right tone to strike. I knew that he was wary of getting too close to me – that he was still getting over being hurt in the way he had been. But I knew too that his love for me was still strong; even without my fairy powers I would have been able to see his emotions in his eyes. Logan, so strong, so straightforward, still maintained those animal instincts in human form. His eyes made it clear whenever he wanted something: and from the fixed way he stared at me, I knew his desire was for me.

“Logan,” I said, taking his hand. Logan closed his eyes at the electricity of our touch. “I just wanted to say I'm sorry. What happened between us – I know it was a spell, but I still can't help feeling like I led you on, like it was my fault, somehow...”

“It's not your fault.” Logan looked down, unwilling to meet my gaze. “Like you said, Breena. It was Wort's fault. We should be blaming him.” He gave a bitter laugh. “Or at least, you should. That spell didn't affect me – at least, I don't think it did. I loved you before, Breena, and I loved you just as much afterward.”

“I know,” I admitted. “It would have been easier, you know. If you'd only felt the way you felt because of the spell. But you didn't, did you?”

“I still remember what we had and, even knowing that you weren't really there – even knowing it was all a spell – all our memories still feel so real, so strong. I'm trying to forget them, Breena, for your sake; really, I am. But somehow I feel like I just...can't.” He sighed. “I'm so sorry, Bree. I just can’t stop loving you just like that. I’ve loved you for so long, Bree. I’ve always thought we’d be together.”

“No!” I rushed towards Logan, encircling him in my arms. “Don't say that. Logan – I know how you feel.” It was now my turn to sigh. “I know....
exactly
how you feel.”

Logan looked up slowly, his dark eyes growing bright with hope. “Breena, what do you mean?”

I felt my cheeks flush red. “I can't forget either,” I said. “The spell may have been fake, but those memories were real. I can't help remembering them.” I wasn't sure what I wanted. I wanted to come clean – not to lie to Logan anymore. I wanted to make him feel better, to soothe his pain by letting him know I did remember my memories of our time together

But I hadn't counted on the joy in Logan's eyes, a joy so strong I knew I had admitted too much. “Then don't stop,” he whispered. “Don't stop loving me – don't ever stop.” He cupped my face in his, and before I realized what was happening he was kissing me again, his lips hot on mine. I felt the same rush of memories – my body reacting instinctively to the touch of the man to whom I had once been engaged.

But I stepped back, even as my heart pounded with the force of this attraction. “Logan, I can't...” I didn't want to betray Kian. I had made my choice, and now I had to live with it – even as I knew it would never be easy. These feelings, these memories, would never go away. But neither would my love for Kian – and I owed it to both Kian and Logan not to hurt them any longer, not to lead them on. I had no spell to fall back on, to blame for my actions. I was only alone with my desires, with my feelings and my thoughts, and with the choice I had to make. “Logan, I love you but...” I took a deep breath. “This isn't right. You know that...”

But from the dumbstruck look on Logan's face, I knew that he didn't 'know that' – that he didn't feel it deep down. For him, kissing me was the rightest thing in all the world.

But we were interrupted by a fierce, low growl. It was the black wolf that had attacked us earlier. Despite its injury sustained earlier – we could still see the just-healed wound in its thigh where Logan had bitten him – it looked as savage and as ready for battle as ever. And this time it had come with reinforcements. A whole pack of wolves stood poised to pounce, tense on their haunches, all staring at their leader, waiting for the command to attack.

“Balthazar,” said Logan softly.

At these words, the leader of the wolf pack transformed into a man – a transformation so smooth and graceful that it took my breath away. Where there had once been a black wolf there stood now a strapping man, with the most beautiful green eyes I had ever seen and jet-black hair that fell into his eyes. His cheekbones were high and taut, his beauty marred only by the scar running across his face. But, despite the perfection of his face, this man unsettled me. His eyes were not warm and kind as Logan's were, or deep and piercing like Kian's. These eyes were cruel and cold – their beauty serving only to enhance their lack of kindness.