Frost Kisses (Bitter Frost #4: Frost Series) (18 page)

“What?” My eyes grew wide. “But why?”

“She believes...” he sighed. “She believes it is the only way to protect me. And Shasta.” He gave a bitter laugh. “I guess love really does make fairies mad. If my mother cared for me less, perhaps she would see what a mad decision this is! She trusted you, Breena, but she doesn't trust your father – especially as she thinks you're dead. She thinks the Summer King will seek revenge for the death of his wife and daughter. I've tried to communicate with her telepathically, to tell her where I am, but I can't reach her.”

“We're outnumbered,” I said. “We can fight against the Winter Court, but not against the Pixies and Winter fairies and the wolves all put together – not to mention these Dark Hordes.”

“They expect me...” Kian sighed. “They expect me to fight. To fight at my mother's side. But I cannot attack the kingdom of the woman I love.”

“This can't be happening!” After we'd come so far, how could it all come to war so easily? My father's love for my mother had caused Redleaf's jealousy, and thus caused this war. Now the Winter Queen's love for her children would perpetuate it. “How can you choose sides?”

“What would you have me do?” Kian looked pained. “I love you so much – I love this palace, too, because you love it. I cannot bear to destroy it, or to hurt you. I cannot bear to fight any longer. I will not fight!”

I took his hand. “But you can't let your mother and Winter Knights get hurt either.”

“As a private citizen,” he said. “I can protect them and them alone. But as a Winter Prince, my duty is to fight with my men. It is a duty I can no longer bear. I have been up all night, thinking. And I have decided. You are my love, my life. And I can no longer deny that. Peace will not come from denying our feelings – war has only come from letting our feelings run mad, by repressing them so much that they turn us mad. Peace will come from choosing peace, and nothing more. And I choose peace, Breena. I choose you.”

“And your birthright?”

“I would rather be a lowly knight than a prince who has to fight against you!” Kian held me tight, kissing my forehead. “Losing you made me realize that if I had to make a choice, I would stand with you. I am not a traitor to my people. But I will not be a traitor to my heart. If I step down as Prince, I am no longer obliged to choose between my people and my love.”

I couldn't believe it. Kian had always been the Winter Prince – so strong, so sure of his power. To be willing to give all that up for me – it was the ultimate sacrifice, and his devotion filled me with love. I kissed him softly, trying with all my strength to share that love, to communicate it to him without words, to let my fairy magic flow into his.

“I can't ask this of you, Kian.”

“It is done,” he said. “I would never lift up my sword against one of your men. I cannot do it!”

“I love you so much...” I sighed. “It hurts.”

“I think that's what love is,” said Kian. “It's why we fairies are so afraid of it. But I'm tired of being afraid. I will face this love for what it is – come what may. I will be by your side, always.”

Another knock came at the door, and before I could answer Logan strode in, accompanied by my Father.

“I see I've caught you at a bad time,” Logan looked down to disguise his jealousy. “I'm afraid I must bid you farewell, Breena – I must return to my people. I must prepare the wolves for battle. After Wort's death, they will need more protection – Balthazar survived, somehow, and he's back to take the lead among the wolves...”

“It's not just the wolves,” said Kian. “Delano's summoned the Dark Hordes! He intends to offer his help to the Winter Court, but I believe he means to betray them”

“No!” my father's face darkened. “Then this is worse than I thought...” He looked quizzically at Kian. “Will you be returning to fight, young man?”

“I wouldn't be telling you this if I were,” said Kian, rising. “I told you I would protect Breena with my life, your Majesty, and I meant that. I cannot do that honorably as a Winter Prince. And so I have given up my title. This morning, when I was alone in my room, I took my sword and with it I shattered my crown, giving up my powers as the crowned Winter Prince. The title will go to Shasta now – wherever she is. He looked my father in the eye. “I love your daughter too much,” he said. “My duty is to her.”

My father raised an eyebrow. “But could you raise your own sword against your own, son? Fight for Summer? Because it will come to that.”

Kian sighed. “Yes,” he said finally. “If it means protecting Breena – from Summer or Winter Fey, from Minotaur or pixie, I will fight. I will not attack, sir. I will not serve on the front lines, and willingly slaughter my own people. But I will stand by Breena in battle, and fight any who threaten her.”

“You are a brave lad,” said Foxflame. He patted Kian on the shoulder. “I welcome your allegiance. But you must know that this is a losing battle. Their forces are much stronger.”

“Then I will fight harder!” Kian responded.

Logan cleared his throat. “I must go,” he said. “There isn't time.” He went over to Kian, shaking his hand. “You take care of her,” he said. He turned to me, and in his eyes I could see the strength of his longing, his love and regret. Even with my love for Kian strong in my heart, I could not help but feel wistful at the sight of Logan giving up on his dream – the dream I could not fulfill.

I followed Logan into the hallway. “Wait!” I said. I took his hand. “Please be safe,” I said. “Take care. I want you coming back to me in one piece, okay?” I let him envelop me in a tight, strong hug.

“Breena,” whispered Logan, stroking my hair. “Breena, don't make this harder. I have to go...it's just as well. I can no longer stand in the way of your happiness, your love. I want to be happy for you and Kian, and I know he has made the ultimate sacrifice for you. I can no longer interfere. I can no longer compete.”

I couldn't resist – I couldn't bear his pain. “Please don't think that!” the words burst out of me. “I've always loved you, too...”

I wasn't sure what I meant. I knew I loved Kian, totally and completely, but I knew too that my feelings for Logan would never be entirely simple.

“Then it's not all in vain,” said Logan. “If you have an ounce of love for me in you, I'll remember that. It will give me strength in battle. It will keep me safe. And now you must keep safe too.”

He pulled me in for one final kiss – a kiss as warm and tender as it was brief, a single burst of Logan's passion. I did not have the heart to push him away; I knew too that deep down I didn't want to. Whatever my feelings for Logan were, they were strong – just as strong, in their own way, as my feelings for Kian.

“That's for you to remember me by,” he said. “It'll give me something to think about in battle.”

And with that, he vanished.

Chapter 19

I
stood staring down the hallway for a while after Logan had gone. My heart was sick with worry for him. I knew Kian would be near me in battle – near enough for us to protect each other – but Logan would be leading his wolves into a losing battle – alone. How could I have let this happen?

“Daughter,” my father came up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder. “It is too late for talk, too late for reason. There is no way out of it, I am afraid. This time, we must prepare for war. It is no longer safe for you here. I can ask Kian to escort you back home to your mother, to the Land Beyond the Crystal River. I cannot risk my own daughter's life in this manner...”

I shook my head “I am the Summer Queen,” I said. “The power of the fairy magic has already entered my body. I cannot afford to leave my people behind. Besides,” I gave my father a reassuring smile. “I'm immortal now. What's the worst that can happen?”

“All fey are immortal,” said my father. “Our immortality makes us able to survive natural death, but we can be killed. There are still dangers. Your immortality comes from love, however, and that I’m not sure of, but I want you safe.”

“These are my people too, Father,” I said. “I'll never leave them.”

“Very well,” my father nodded. “Brave girl. Then I will do what I can to summon our allies. Perhaps there is hope for us yet.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know that I spent much of my time as king traveling, leaving Redleaf to govern. In that time, I did many foolish things – but I also made many friends, many allies. I got to know the sea-green mermaids of the Western seas. I befriended the Honorable Kelpies, a race of kelpie that has sworn to kill only when necessary. I knew the griffins of Fir Forest and the phoenixes up in hidden caves. I loved to travel – and all these friends I have been loyal to in my years. They will aid us – I am sure of it. I will send messengers to all our allies – and to our vassals in the Autumn territories. Now about that alchemist girl, Rose! I want to speak to her.”

We summoned Rose, who arrived blushing and curtsying. “Your Majesty!” she said to me, bowing deeply. She turned to my father. “Your Majesty!” She said again, louder, this time. “I'm sorry, sir, which one am I supposed to...”

“For the time being,” my father said, “we are both Your Majesties. A father ruling alongside his daughter is unprecedented, I suppose, but Breena has done many unprecedented things in her time in Feyland. Now Rose…”

“Yes?” she said brightly.

“That potion you've been working on, to expose glamouring Pixies? I want you to modify it, to make it something that will not only reveal Pixies, but also revert them to their natural state. In the heat of battle we haven't got time to see what color our enemy is bleeding. I know great fear provokes a natural turning-back – perhaps you could channel fear? The last thing we need is to start fighting among our own men if the Pixies glamour and infiltrate our camp.”

“I'll do that,” said Rose, “I'll get all us alchemists together – we'll do what we can!”

“And Rose?” I added. “I have another idea. We may not have the numbers of the Pixies – but we're a lot cleverer than they are. What if you made another potion – one that would cause a mist to rile up and obscure our numbers? You could make it look like there were a lot more of us – that might be enough to put some fear into those Pixies!”

Kian entered the hallway. “I can sense it,” he said softly. “They're closer.”

I turned to Kian, allowing him to take me in his arms. “I want to see them,” I said. “Can you take me to see the enemy?”

“The enemy,” Kian's voice was dark. “You mean my mother, yes. I will take you.”

He led me by the hand to one of the palace balconies, and then wrapped his arms around me, letting his majestic wings burst forth from his armor. I felt him lifting me higher and higher, until at last we were floating above Feyland. He flew me not more than five miles from the palace walls, and there I gasped at what I saw. Proceeding towards the Summer gates was the largest crowd I had ever seen – silver-clad Winter fairies marching in a straight line, howling wolves nipping and snarling at the sidelines, the Pixies shimmering with their evil greenish-golden glow, muttering among themselves. I saw too creatures I had never seen before, creatures that sent my heart pounding with fear: there were Giants, not like ones I’ve seen, but dark with red eyes, easily three or four times the size of a man, and horned red-eyed bulls with monstrous teeth, and wailing women, floating above ground, their voices screeching unearthly wails.

“Banshees,” Kian whispered. “Part of the Dark Hordes.” He sighed. “So it is true. My mother is so desperate to save me that she is willing to join forces with Feyland's most dangerous creatures. But they will turn on her! I know it – even if she manages to survive the Summer Knights, those creatures are not trustworthy. They don't care who they kill as long as they're killing. When they're done with the Summer fairies, they'll start with her.”

“Can't we warn her? Fly down...”

“Too dangerous,” said Kian. “We'll never get close – if the banshees spot us, they'll fly after us and devour us in a heartbeat. She'll never even see us. Shasta will have to protect her now.”