Frozen Barriers (29 page)
I’m breathing heavily as my breath fogs the air in front of me. I’m satisfied with my practice skate and so are my coaches, who don’t say anything other than simple suggestions for cleaning up a couple edges.
Suzy calls me over. “Everything okay out there? You don’t seem to be acting your normal self today. That skate had an edge behind it that I haven’t seen from you before.”
Staring back at my mother, who is currently on her phone talking, I tell Suzy, “Consider this my season of vengeance.”
Days pass, and I’ve heard nothing from Emily. I didn’t think I would, but after I sent her my text on Tuesday, I thought I’d get something. I watched her perform her short program from Thursday night on my tablet. It’s funny. Other than that one time when I first saw her at the rink when I was thirteen, that was the only other time I’ve watched her skate. The video feed wasn’t exactly the clearest, but she was absolutely gorgeous, wearing an all black skating dress with shimmering feathers and a fitted high neck. I knew the song she skated to was from a movie, and I saw the fire in her eyes as she sat in what they called the “kiss and cry” area. She was breathing heavily as she stared up at the scores. She skated perfectly from what I could tell, but she would know better than me. Then, her scores appeared on the screen. Overall total points, 72.30, placing her in first place going into Saturday’s long program. That’s my girl.
After another lengthy bus ride and an early morning flight, we’re now pulling into St. Johns, Newfoundland. Welcome to Canada. Border crossing is always a treat. With so much gear and so many people on the buses, it takes forever to get up here. Fortunately, this is the only team we play against that’s located in Canada, and we’ll spend an entire weekend here. So far, this season has been going well. The team is really progressing nicely, and it will only be a matter of time before things begin to shake up. When the LA Kings start their regular season, it becomes a constant to have players from the Monarchs called up to fill in. Since I started with the Monarchs a couple of seasons ago, it’s been mostly offensive players and goalies that are called up. As a defense player, there hasn’t been much interest in us unless one of the Kings players is out for an extended period of time. Hopefully, one day that call will finally come in for me. To finally skate on NHL ice, even if it’s for a short period of time before I’m sent back home.
After bringing my hoodie up over my head as I exit the bus when we arrive at the hotel, I put my iPod into my pocket as “Wait for Me” fills my ears and snowflakes stick to my sweatshirt. With a new season creeping in, I can only assume this is my fresh start. A fresh start to what, though? I can’t right the wrongs of my past. I can’t go back to high school and change the fact that I never went after Emily when I needed to. Possibly all these things happened for a reason. We might never be the people we are now had the years we weren’t together happened. What’s that phrase?
Distance makes the heart grow fonder
. When I think about our first kiss a month ago and how far we’ve come since then and now our time apart, I wonder if Emily is feeling the same way. It’s only been a week and already it feels like it’s been a month.
I push my hoodie off my head as I make my way into the hotel room, glancing at the clock to see that it’s a little after midnight. It’s too late to call home, but I send Josh and Courtney a text that I arrived at the next destination and to tell Mom and Dad I’ll call them after the next game. I may be an adult, but I’ve never stopped letting my family know where I am. My dad has continued to play an integral part in my hockey career, and I love getting his input after he reads or hears about my games. They are all my biggest fans, and I love them to death. I know; I’m a big sap.
I send Dave a text as well because I haven’t been in touch with him since last Sunday. Once hockey season starts, the Forum gets busy for him, and my schedule is just as hectic.
Just checkin’ in. How’s everything at home? Anything new goin’ on?
As I grab my shower bag and sweats from my suitcase to take a shower, my phone alerts me of a new text.
Dude, wish you were here. @ Promiscuous and some girl called Mystic just gave the world’s best lap dance. Like jizz in my pants good.
I chuckle at the thought because leave it to Dave to compare a lap dance to bursting a nut. Shooting him a response to let him know I’ll take his word for it, I don’t want to tell him I’m really not in any shape to be heading to the club after seeing how things went down with Avery. I can’t even imagine how Emily would handle knowing about my nights with Dave at Promiscuous. The things that happen in their VIP booths stay in the VIP booths, not that I did anything incriminating in there. Let’s just say that on one of my more recent birthday celebrations, Dave might have been willing to spend the extra money to have two girls provide more visuals than normally required. Just sayin’. I never said I was a saint; I just wasn’t an asshole.
Taking gold at Skate America seemed almost unreal, and yet, here I am on my way to the next Grand Prix event in Vancouver, BC. Scoring a combined total of 212.02 overall, set me up to be a front-runner for Skate Canada. As long as I place in the top six of each of the events in which I’m scheduled to compete, I’ll be in good standing for the US Nationals in January.
Suzy asked me during a practice session before my long program what I wanted to do after this season ended. She swore no matter what I told her she wouldn’t tell a soul. Well, I sure as hell hope not. You don’t get paid nearly fifty thousand a year to tell everyone my business. Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I explained that after this season was over, so was I. I needed time to get away and just learn to be me. I had to find a way out before it killed me all together. I didn’t know what I’d do or where I’d go, but it was going to happen, and I knew it would be the beginning of the end between my parents and me.
How was I planning to inform them of my plans? My parents might be the most manipulative and uncaring people I know, but they are smart and not in a good way. I’d need to beat them at their own game. A chess game seems easy compared to this challenge, and I know nothing about chess.
Then, of course, there is my unresolved relationship with Jeremy. It’s been two weeks since I’ve spoken to him. Just before we left Denver, I talked with Courtney. Grace told me to try to not have any contact with him while I was away, but she never said I couldn’t talk to Courtney. Courtney confessed she had overheard her father and Jeremy talking in the kitchen the night he dropped me off. She had mentioned he’d sent her a few text messages, but she only knew that he spoke to her parents and was still upset over the way we left things. She didn’t have any information on how he was other than the Monarchs had won all the games they had played so far, and Jeremy had scored three goals and was in a fight that required him to get a few stitches on his eyebrow during one game. Before hanging up, I asked if she had talked to Sue since she hadn’t called me back, even after my voicemail. Apparently, she’s avoiding everyone, because even Courtney said she’s only talked to her a couple of times in two weeks, and for Sue, that’s abnormal. There’s something going on there, and we both said it couldn’t have anything to do with the fact that she’s dating Dave now. They’ve been friends for years, so this has to be completely out of the ordinary. Courtney said she’d try to get to the bottom of it while I focus on my competitions.
I wanted to ask her so many times to relay a message to Jeremy if she talked to him, but I not only needed to prove to Grace I could listen to her advice, but also myself. I need to prove to myself I have the strength within my body to do it. Each day I wake up, I’m one day closer to reaching my goal, not anyone else’s goals. Mine. When I make it back to Boston in another week, I can say I did it. I can win gold and handle my relationship situation on my own. That’s all me and nobody else had their hands in there helping.
Our flight from Denver to Vancouver is uneventful, thank goodness. I find myself finishing another book on my e-reader that sounded interesting. This one involves a small Southern island girl who meets a famous actor who’s hiding out from the media; a relationship forms between them, and she experiences her first love, but his past catches up with him and things begin to unravel. Something tells me I can relate to this girl on so many levels.
Stepping outside of the airport I discover that October in the Pacific Northwest is extremely raw and rainy. The limo driver takes us on the short drive to the Fairmont Hotel Vancouver. Since we don’t have any relatives living in this city, we are forced to stay in a hotel for almost a week. At least my mother has decided to give me my own suite. I can’t handle having her in the same room with me for that long. A long lunch with her can be difficult; a week is pushing the limits of my sanity.
As the limo pulls up in front of the hotel, I notice some commotion outside. Evidently, it’s the paparazzi since cameras are perched on tripods and flashbulbs are going off every few seconds. They can’t be here for me, unless my mother is responsible for this nonsense, and if she is, I will most likely throw a tantrum right here on the sidewalk. The driver comes over to open the door for us, and I step out. As I wait for my small bag from the trunk, cameras start going off even more and people yell louder. I pull my earbuds from my ears as “Black Sheep” by Gin Wigmore can no longer be heard over the screaming. Looking up, I can’t see anything but spots when I shut my eyes. I hear peoples shouting something, but it’s definitely not my name. Turning quickly to avoid more blinding, I run right into a tall, muscular man in a suit, knocking my shoulder bag to the ground and spilling out some of the contents.