Fuck buddies (6 page)

Sara, determined to carry through the
test, invited Roberto to party with her on Saturday night. He accepted,
although they would have to meet after midnight, when he would have finished in
the restaurant. It was almost the time and Sara was making up. She had chosen a
white dress tied at the back, with a neckline that suggested more than showed,
opened up to her belly. She felt as a diva.

Roberto gave her the missed call they
had agreed on and Sara picked up all her things quickly. He was leaving his
house right then and she had only a few minutes to get ready. When he saw her,
he smiled admired.

“Pretty lady, shall I give you a
ride?” he said after whistling at her.

She shook her head, amused. She got
into the car, next to him, and closed the door.

“Where does the lady want to go that
she had made herself look so good?”

“I want to go to the disco where we
met.”

“What? Why?” he seemed surprised and
even a little bit upset.

“I feel like dancing.”

“If you want to dance, we can go to
places that are closer. The town is full of life today with the festival.”

“No, I don’t want to dance here.”

“Why?”

Sara intended not to reveal her
purpose yet so he won’t make any excuses. She had to carry out the test
perfectly.

“Oh, come on, I want to go there.
I’ll pay the gas” she said, looking longingly at him.

Forty minutes later they were at the
entrance of the nightclub. Before leaving her house, Sara had taken a coffee to
avoid falling asleep during the journey, but Roberto hadn’t known her plan in
advance and he looked tired.

“Actually, I don’t feel much like
partying. I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to dance too much.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll find you a
comfortable place to rest” she smiled.

Roberto wasn’t conscious of what was
about to happen, it was obvious. For an instant, Sara felt sorry for him. She
had made him take her there only to hook up with another man while he looked.
He had even made the effort to take her to the nightclub after working all day.
But no, she shouldn’t feel guilty, at least not yet. If he passed the test and
proved that he hadn’t been lying to her, she would have enough time to apologize.

But Roberto wouldn’t pass the test.
Sara knew it as soon as they entered the disco and men looked at her with
wolfish eyes. Roberto’s reaction was to encircle her waist with the excuse of
leading her to the bar. Without a doubt, he was marking Sara as his. She didn’t
say a word and let him guide her to the counter, where they ordered their
drinks. She sipped from her glass and told Roberto that she was going to the
dance floor. He followed her without a word and when she started to dance, he
glued to her.

“I need some space, Roberto” she
said, moving away.

She started to dance in a provocative
way and scanned the crowd that surrounded her. She chose a man on her left and
she danced for him, staring at him with suggestive eyes. She didn’t dare to
look at Roberto although she was dying to see his reaction. Only half a song
had passed when he grabbed her waist, turned her and, once they were face to
face, kissed her.

Sara had to push him with all her
strength to get rid of him.

“What are you doing?” she shouted
over the music.

“Come on, Sara, I’m here” he tried to
approach her but Sara put her arms between them to keep him away.

“I’ll help you find a girl, ok? But
now leave me alone, you shoo away the guys.”

“But—“

“I’ve already attracted the attention
of some guys. Don’t screw it up.”

“But Sara, I want you. I thought that
we had a deal and when you wanted or I wanted, we had sex. I want you tonight.”

“But I don’t want to sleep with you
tonight, ok?” she patted his back and smiled. “I’ll help you find a girl
tonight, I swear it, but now leave me some space.”

She was being cruel and she knew it,
but he hadn’t confessed yet. His behavior was possessive, but that wasn’t an
irrefutable proof of him being in love with her. He had to explode.

Roberto stood next to her as an
idiot, looking at her with sinister eyes. Music kept on sounding around them
and now and then ultraviolet beams crossed the dance floor, bringing out Sara’s
white dress. She danced and danced and when she thought that the man who was
looking at her was ready, she approached him. She didn’t look back, so she
didn’t know if Roberto was following her. When she got next to the stranger,
she purred provocative words in his ear and he grabbed her waist, smiling. Just
a minute later Sara suggested going to the restroom and he accepted, lowering
his hand until he touched her bottom. Holding on her ass, he let Sara guide him.
However, they were at some meters from the restroom door when a hand grabbed
Sara’s forearm.

“We’re leaving” Roberto’s voice said suddenly
next to her while he pulled from her arm.

“No fucking way! Leave me alone,
Roberto” but he didn’t seem to be listening to her. “Let me go, shit!”

“She has told you to let her go,
idiot!”

It was the voice of the man Sara had
chosen as her victim that night. Roberto ignored him but the stranger grabbed
his shoulder and her pseudo-fuck buddy didn’t hesitate: he turned with his fist
prepared and gave him a right in the face.

The stranger overbalanced and fell
back. That wasn’t enough for Roberto and he followed him, willing to keep
hitting him in the ground. Sara tried to stop him and gave the stranger some
valuable seconds that he used to recover and launch a kick that reached
Roberto’s belly. He moved back sharply and hit Sara. What happened next was
confusing and she would only remember that a pair of strong arms carried her
out of the nightclub. Roberto and the stranger followed her a few seconds
later, shoved by two security guards that were as wide and tall as the one that
had taken Sara out of the disco.

“Get the hell out of here” said one
of them “or we will bum out on your asses again.”

But Roberto and the stranger didn’t
seem to be interested in keeping fighting. 

“You can get the
cock-teaser” the stranger blurted out.

Roberto looked at him but didn’t
reply nor defended Sara of his offensive words, probably because he thought
that she deserved them. Instead, he turned and walked to his car.

“I’m leaving. You get in the car
now or return by taxi.”

Without a word and scared by his
cold and calm voice, she walked behind him. She was trying to convince herself
that she had the right to reproach him that he had broken the contract, that
she could demand to know if he had been lying from the beginning, but she
didn’t find the words. She got into the car expecting he would say something,
but Roberto didn’t say a word. Actually, he wasn’t interested neither in what
she had to say, because as soon as they left the parking lot he turned up the
music, avoiding any kind of conversation.

Roberto managed to reduce the
journey by stepping on the gas, but even so those twenty minutes were the
longest and most uncomfortable minutes of their lives. When finally the car
stopped in front of Sara’s house, he didn’t say goodbye nor softened his
expression. He was furious with her and she knew it perfectly, but she couldn’t
leave. She turned down the volume until the music reached a low tone.

“You’re in love with me?”

Probably it wasn’t the more
appropriate question, but it was the one that slipped her lips. He shook his
head but it didn’t look as a denial, he simply seemed dismayed.

“Come on, leave.”

“But—“

“I don’t want to talk with you
right now, Sara, please.”

But she didn’t want to leave. She
wanted to argue with him, to yell at each other, to make things clear finally.

“You’ve broken the contract.”

“That contract doesn’t worth a
shit, Sara. But I don’t want to argue, go home.”

“Maybe the contract is not a legal
document, but I had your word” she insisted.

“Sara” he turned to her, startling
her. “I’ve broken the contract, right? I didn’t keep my word. Ok then. We take
separate ways from now. Let’s forget this has happened. Leave.”

She looked at him for a moment and
then she decided to give up and opened the door. The best thing they could do
was to leave things as they were, at least for that night. They would talk
about it another day. Or maybe they should do as he had said: forget everything
that had happened. They didn’t have anything to talk about, they couldn’t keep
being fuck buddies so there was no need to argue about it.

Her heels were already on the
sidewalk when she heard him laugh. Surprised, she turned and looked at him.

“Do you know which the funniest
part is?” he asked. “That I haven’t broken your fucking contract. One of your
clauses stated that my feelings for you shouldn’t change and they hadn’t. I’ve
been a fool getting involved in this, I thought—“ he interrupted his words and shook
his head. “The guy at the disco was right, you’re a cock-teaser.”

“Don’t you dare to call me that
again. You’re a liar and a manipulative man. Susana was right.”

“Susana? What does Susana have to
do with—? Oh, of course. I thought about it when you told me that you were
still friends, but I hoped that she wouldn’t remember. Then you know
everything, right?” he sounded defiant.

“I know that when we were in high
school you told her that you liked me.”

“And you put two and two together,
right? You realized that the way I behave with you wasn’t the manner of a man
who only wanted sex.”

“I knew it before she told me
anything. I asked you several times if you were trying something and you looked
at me and lied. You repeated again and again that I didn’t have anything to
worry about, that you behave like that with your friends.”

“And what did you want me to say,
Sara? That I was in love with you and that our relationship as fuck buddies
couldn’t work? I’ve been interested in you since before high school and only
now you were paying me some attention. I preferred this to nothing, I had the
hope that eventually your feelings for me would change, that your injuries
would heal and that you’d give an opportunity to a true relationship. Because
maybe you don’t believe in love, but I’ve been in love with you for more than
ten years, even without being next to you, without seeing you— Fuck, Sara!
You’re the love of my life, the one which wasn’t returned, do you remember? And
you told me to insist and soften your heart.”

“Roberto, I—“

But he was tired of her, tired of
everything, and didn’t let her finish.

“If you’re not going to tell me
that you love me too, leave. Please, Sara, just leave.”

She looked at him for several
seconds without saying anything. The last information he had revealed had left
her speechless. Susana had suggested it but Sara hadn’t believed it, not even
for a second. She didn’t believe in love and that meant that she was sure no
one can feel it for her, especially not for so long. His words, so sincere and
hurt had reached her heart and had wet her eyes. No words came to her mouth and
she wasn’t even able to think with clarity. She opened her mouth to say
something but he, who had fixed his eyes in the front window, requested again:

“Please.”

Sara swallowed with difficulty and
turn to the door, which was already opened. Slowly, she got out of the car and
closed behind her. Roberto hadn’t stopped the car and he left immediately. She
watched him go away until she lost sight of him.

If it was Roberto the one who
hadn’t passed the test, why did she feel so bad?

Roberto didn’t reply to her messages
nor answered her calls during the following days. Sara sent him a message the
evening that followed their argument saying to him that they had to talk. That
night, when she saw that he had read the message but hadn’t replied, insisted
with another message. When the next morning she checked her phone, there was no
answer and, swallowing her pride, she left another text. Evening came and she
had received no reply, so she called him. The line beeped seven times and then
went off.

Sara sighed. Her behavior during
those days had been cyclic. First she told herself she shouldn’t call him, that
he had lied to her and their relationship had to end. Then she felt furious
because he hadn’t tried to get in touch with her; it was him who had screwed
what they had, it was him who had to solve it. Later, she felt sorry for him;
he had said to her that he loved her, that he had been in love with her for
years, and she hadn’t replied anything. When she was at that stage, she called
him and then, when she didn’t have an answer, she got angry once more and all
the cycle began again.

On the third day, shortly before noon
and after having called him twice without success, she went to his restaurant.
She was sure Roberto would be there. Her heart speeded up when she saw him
setting the tables that were in the back of the restaurant. She approached him,
nervous, especially when he raised his face, saw her, and pretended that he
hadn’t recognized her.

She stood a few meters away from him
and after some seconds of silence, she said:

“Hi.”

“What do you want, Sara?” he asked
without looking at her. He was concentrated on settling the cutlery and the
napkins in the right order.

“I’ve left you a bunch of messages.”

“And have I replied?”

“No.”

“And still you don’t get it?”

Sara cleared her throat,
uncomfortable. She looked back and saw a man who might be Roberto’s father. He
was looking at them slyly.

“I would like to talk with you,
Roberto.”

“I think we don’t have anything to
talk about.”

“Well, I think we do. The other
night you said—“

“Have you come here to make fun of
me? To ruffle my feathers?”

“What? No, of course not. Why do
you think so?”

He raised his head and looked
straight into her eyes.

“I told a woman who doesn’t
believe in love that I’ve been in love with her since high school. She made fun
of me.”

“I didn’t make fun of you” she
hurried up to correct.

“Maybe not, but you laughed at me
before, right? I’ve been thinking a lot about everything that happened the
other night. If Susana told you how I felt for you, you took me to that nightclub
just for making fun of me.”

“No, not for laughing at you. It
was a test.”

“Oh, a test! Then it’s even
better.”

“You don’t understand. I— I needed
to know what you felt for me and if I would have asked you, you wouldn’t have
been sincere. You would have done as always, hide behind funny sentences and lies.”

Roberto sighed and went to another
table to settle the cutlery. Sara didn’t move. She didn’t know if her last words
would have bothered him.

“Please, Roberto, let’s meet and
talk.”

“But do we have something to talk
about, Sara?” he insisted.

“Yes, a lot of things. We’ll meet
tonight, ok? At the viewpoint we were together not long ago. Meet me at midnight.”

“How would you get there?”

“Don’t worry about that. Just go,
ok?”

“What if I don’t?”

“I’d wait for you hours and hours
in the middle of nowhere.”