FUEL (DirtSlap Series Book 1) (12 page)

Why wouldn’t she
answer a single call or text? Thrand sighed and shoved his phone in his pocket. It had been days, and he hadn’t, as of yet, been able to catch her at work or at Lila’s. She’d done a good job of avoiding and ignoring him.

That night with her had been seared into his brain. Working kept him busy, but he had to sleep sometime, and she was always there. Waiting for him and torturing him in his dreams.

With his emotions doing double time, he poured himself into Mick’s idea of a band. Ryan had jumped at the chance and now they were at Boosey’s to meet the two guys Mick had mentioned.

Of course, Cassie wasn’t here.

Being a weekday, it was slow, so the place was almost dead quiet when two guys walked in. Thrand couldn’t help but grin. They had to be his potential new bandmates.

One was really tall, with black spiky hair, and tatted up. The other guy wasn’t as big but had long, shaggy hair, and both wore nothing but black. They looked like they belonged on a metal stage. If they had the right sound, they were perfect.

Ryan sat beside him and grinned like an idiot. Thrand waved his hand to get their attention. As the two sat at their table, the big guy shook his hand.

“I’m Ethan Tackett, and this is Zak Hawkins. You must be Thrand?”

Thrand tried not to be shocked by the Georgian accent the guy carried. “Yup. Thrand Medlam, and this is Ryan Fennick, my guitarist. You the singer?”

The guy nodded, leaned back, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Lila stopped at their table with a tray in her hands but took one look at the new guys and froze. He’d never seen her eyes go so wide.

“Are you guys lost?” she asked with no tact at all.

“No. Are you?” Ethan asked.

Thrand laughed. “Lila, this is Ethan and Zak. Part of our potential new band.”

“To play what? Thrash metal? Wrong part of the country for that, boys.” She huffed and rolled her eyes.

“Well, aren’t you in the wrong part of the country? Shouldn’t you be at Disneyland with the rest of the pixies?”

Ryan burst out laughing and tugged at one of her braids. “He got you with that one, Lila.”

She glared and smacked him with a towel, then batted her eyes at Ethan. “Careful. My pixie dust might be poisonous. Speaking of, what’s your poison?”

“Bucket of beer, alright?” Thrand asked the group. Everyone nodded except Zak, who hadn’t said anything yet.

Lila brought back a bucket of beer, placed in the middle of the table, and they grabbed a beer. Zak didn’t but Thrand didn’t think much of it.

“Got any of that pixie dust for me?” Ryan joked and snagged her towel.

“Gimme that.” She took it back and hit him on the head with it.

“Owe!”

“Oh hush it, Ryan. The only dust you need is to shrivel your ego. Among other things.”

Ethan and Thrand laughed.

“That’s just mean.” Ryan sulked.

“Pftt. I got customers who probably tip better than you guys.” With that, she moved on.

“Tiny, little biddy, isn’t she?” Ethan asked.

Thrand snorted. “Mean as hell.”

“Got that right.” Ryan rubbed his head like the towel hurt him.

After Lila left, Thrand leaned forward and asked, “So what kind of music influenced you guys?”

“A lot.” Ethan chuckled and took a sip of his beer. “You know, the usuals, Johnny Cash, Lynerd Skynyrd, Avenged Sevenfold, Merle Haggard. I can sing anything from Strait to Godsmack. Zak writes originals though.”

“That’s quite a range,” Ryan said. “Thrand writes, too. If you ask me, he wastes his time playing other people’s shit, when he could be doing his own gig.”

“And you waste your time playing with shit quality bands.” Thrand looked at Zak. “What kind of stuff you write, man?”

Zak peered through the hair that fell into his face. “Country lyrics. Rock sound.”

Thrand grinned. “That’s what I’m looking for. If you guys want, we can meet up at my house this evening, test out the feel.”

“Sounds good,” Ethan said and Zak nodded.

Ryan’s phone beeped and he frowned. “Shit, I gotta go. Fill me in later, Thrand.”

Before Thrand could ask what that was about, Ryan took off out the door.

Thrand turned his attention to Ethan and Zak. “I think we can work out the rest tonight.”

“Sounds good.” Ethan gave him a fist-bump. Zak merely nodded his head and they left.

Thrand stayed at Boosey’s hoping to catch a glimpse of Cassie, but Mick finally walked over to him. “Dude, she’s not working today.”

He sighed. “Of course she’s not. Has she said anything at all?”

Mick shrugged. “She just gives me her phone and asks me to burn it while she works. She refuses to even talk about you.”

“Dammit. If I could just talk to her.”

Lila slid next to him. “She’s clammed up completely about the whole thing. I know she’s never at the house though. I don’t know where’s she’s been.”

“She’s not staying with you?” A bit of panic set in. It was one thing not being able to talk to her, but at least he thought she was safe with Lila. Now, he didn’t even have that. Or even who she was spending time with. Dread slid down his spine.

“Yeah, she is. Kinda. I mean her stuff is at my house, and once in a while, I find her asleep on my couch, but she’s gone a lot.”

“I gotta find her.” He stood and gave Lila enough cash to cover his tab. Then he hit the door, determined to search every hellhole bar in Nashville if he had to.

Thrand pulled up
in his drive, late for their first band meeting. He’d had no luck at all finding Cassie and, honestly, with all the people passing through, a person could hide really well in a town like this.

The guys decided to just play some cover stuff to see how they sounded together. Thrand had been shocked by Ethan’s voice. How the dude hadn’t been signed somewhere baffled him. Not only could he belt the most metal tune Thrand could play, he put a whole new twist on the country stuff.

Before they were done, Ryan got another text. Cussing a blue streak, he was out the door again.

“He got girl problems?” Ethan asked.

“I don’t know what the hell he’s got.” Thrand shook his head and looked at Ethan and Zak. “This was definitely the sound I had in mind. You guys in?”

“Might work,” Zak said.

“I think this is worth a shot,” Ethan replied and shook Thrand’s hand.

*

Cassie had shut
down. She refused to talk to anyone at Booseys, even Lila. She’d thrown up every wall she’d shed when she left Oklahoma. Tell hell with them all. She couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t eat. She tossed back another shot.

But she could drink.

Thrand saw her as nothing but a mistake and a guilt trip.

It only proved her theory, she didn’t want a savior or a hero. When she left home, she’d been so full of hope. So sure she was on the right path. Her luck had to get better because it couldn’t get worse. Right?

She’d been so damn wrong.

She was in another bar after getting off work. This one had a mechanical bull and her ass would be on it before the night was over. Her phone rang and she saw Thrand’s face. Of course. The man evidently didn’t get it. He’d made himself perfectly clear.

He thought she’d used him.

It was a slap to the face. All the years they’d known each other, how could he think she would be like that? She wasn’t vindictive. That it even crossed his mind sickened her.

She swallowed her tears, put her phone on mute and smiled sweetly at the bartender. “Another shot. Or three.”

It didn’t matter.

She knew she was on the path of destruction, but right now she couldn’t deal with it. There was a mechanical bull with her name on it and a few cowboys who watched her walk straight for it. Right now, that was all she needed.

A few days
later, she stood outside on Broadway, the street packed with people. The Fourth of July fireworks celebration over the Cumberland River was nothing short of amazing. She’d never seen such a display.

Too bad she was totally alone. Which said something about her state of mind. To feel alone yet be surrounded by so many people. Couples kissed, held hands and it did nothing to help the raw ache in her heart.

What she needed was a drink. She pushed her way through the throng, ignored the catcalls, and made her way toward the nearest bar—then stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted him.

Thrand. Her throat closed up.

How she saw him in this crowd was astounding. He looked good. So casual and sexy, all she wanted to do was throw herself into his arms.

Holy hell, how she missed him.

Missed his smile, his touch, the way he moved.

She’d tried to find someone else. Kissed more cowboys than she could keep track of, but she couldn’t do it. No matter how drunk she got, she always managed to get away from them. She didn’t want them. She wanted him.

He wasn’t close, but when he turned his head, as though searching, she ducked and disappeared into another bar. And drowned herself as deep as she could get.

Anything to numb what he’d done to her.

He’d ruined her for anyone else. And it was all her fault.

Cassie had lost
track of time. She asked Mick for days only, tried to avoid Thrand at all cost but she barely made it to work at all. Just went through the motions, ignored everyone and just existed. It was the same every day. Wake up, work—if she could drag herself off the couch she slept on, hit the bars then pass out.

After another night she could barely remember, she somehow made it in for her shift. She tied on an apron, ignored Angel’s dirty looks, and got busy. She wasn’t there two hours when Mick came out of the back and glared at her.

“Cassie,” Mick’s yelled. “In my office.”

Hell
. She straightened her shoulders and followed him.

“Sit,” he ordered.

She did.

He fell into his cushy office chair, rolled a pen in his hand and said nothing. She shifted. His disappointment as clear as the frown on his face.

“I like you. But I got a business to run. You get me?”

She nodded and rubbed hard on her cuff.

“I’m gonna give you another shot, because I’ve been where you are. I know what kind of shit is running around in that messed up head of yours.”

She grit her teeth. How she hated when people assumed they knew how she felt or what she thought. “You couldn’t possibly.”

He dropped the pen, laced his hands and leaned forward. “Your dad is a drunk. You ran away to start a new life and run into your past. Shit happens. You either suck it up, or drown in it. It’s your choice, and no one can make it for you. Just remember, don’t burn all your bridges in the process. You got friends here who will have your back if you let them.”

She lifted her chin. “I’m fine.”

He chuckled. “Bullheaded little twit, aren’t you? I admire that fire but you better control it or it will burn you down. After today, I’m giving you a few days off. Figure it out.”

“I don’t need days off.” She insisted but stubborn pride wouldn’t let her beg for her job, no matter how bad she needed it.

“Yeah. You do. Talk to Thrand.”

“No.” She blanched. “If that’s what you require then I quit.”

“My advice to you is to screw your head on straight and figure out what you need.” Mick stood. “This is it. I think you know where we’re at.”

She left her shift that day, pissed as hell. Mick was her boss and had every right to fire her. She’d missed days. Even ran out the back in the middle of work when Thrand did show a couple of times. What he didn’t have the right to do was lecture her.

Her dad was a drunk. Cam had been a drunk…and she was turning into one. Even though Mick was right, she wasn’t ready to face her demons.

She would. Eventually.

But not tonight.

Tonight, she would burn it up until she felt absolutely nothing.

She shoved her hair out of her face, sucked in a breath and walked into what had become her favorite place. The girl bartenders wore a little bit of nothing and danced on the bartop.

“Cassie,” the girls yelled as she reached the bar. They reached down, pulled her up, gave her a shot and shoved a beer in her hand.

Time to forget the world. Again.