Full Circle (11 page)

* * *

“Hello?” Her
father’s voice sounded frail and exhausted.

“Daddy, it’s
Bella. I’m coming home.”

For a moment
there was silence on the other end; Bella wondered if he was going to hang up.

“Good,” he
said at last, his voice strengthening. “When will you be here?”

“I’ll be
there tomorrow. I’ve arranged a car to pick me up at the airport and drive me to
Willow Bend.” She was afraid to ask the next question, but she had to know. “Is
she still alive?”

“Yes.” There
was a smile in his voice now. “I’ll tell her you’re coming.”

* * *

“Grandma’s
sick?” The concern in Melissa’s voice was almost more than Bella could bear.
“What’s the matter with her?” They were in First Class, en route to Atlanta.

“She has
something called lung cancer. It makes it hard for her to breathe.”

“We learned
about lung cancer in school.” Her smooth brow furrowed. “Does she smoke?”

“No.” Bella
stroked her daughter’s head, smoothing back a few strands of errant hair.
“That’s what surprised the doctors. She’s never smoked.”

“Then why did
she get lung cancer?”

“I don’t know
sweetheart. It just happens that way sometimes.”

“Well, it’s
not fair.”

“No, it
isn’t.”

* * *

“Hello,
Girlie.” Her father gathered her into his arms; it was something he’d rarely
done when she was young. She inhaled his familiar scent, and struggled to keep
back the tears that burned in the back of her eyes. He knelt down. “And you,
young lady” he said to Melissa. “I am very happy to finally meet you.”

“Hello,
Grandpa.” Melissa went into his arms, and then pulled back, her face taut with
concern. “Can we see Grandma now?”

“Yes, of
course.” He rose, and Bella studied him. Her father was just over fifty years
old, and yet he seemed much older. He took a moment to square his shoulders,
and then led her into what had been her mother’s workshop. The layout table,
dressmaker’s dummy and sewing machine were all gone. The space had been
converted to a sickroom, with sun streaming through the windows and several
bouquets of flowers placed where Bella’s mother could enjoy them.

Bella held
back, shocked at the sight of her mother. Melissa had no such qualms. She
walked to the side of the bed and smiled at her grandmother.

“Thank you
for the birthday present,” she said, kissing her grandmother’s shrunken cheek.
“I loved it.”

Shirley
Thompson looked past her granddaughter and smiled at Bella before returning her
attention to Melissa. “I thought you might like it.” She had sent Melissa a
book on Victorian fashion, and the child had been fascinated. “I understand
that you enjoy the fashion industry almost as much as your mother.”

“How did you
know?” As usual, Melissa was direct.

Shirley motion
to several large scrapbooks on a bookshelf beside the bed. “Pass me that top
one, would you child?”

Melissa
complied.

“You see?”
she said, turning the pages. The book was full of clippings about
Bella
,
gleaned from a variety of magazines and newspapers. “I know all about
Bella
.”
She looked up, and her gaze met her daughter’s. “I’ve been watching your
mother’s career for a long time. I’m very proud of her, and you should be,
too.”

Melissa
retreated to the floor, and began avidly turning the pages of the scrapbook.

“You look
beautiful,” she said to her daughter. “So grown-up.”

Bella took
her mother’s hand and sat down on the chair beside the bed. The oxygen machine
hummed quietly in the background. “On the outside perhaps, but there are many
times I still feel like a kid on the inside.”

“It happens
to all of us.” Her mother switched topics. “You’ll be missing the opening.”

Bella gave a
sad laugh. “There’ll be another one within a year.”

Her mother’s
eyes lit up. “Where?”

Bella was
having trouble talking; her mother wouldn’t be here to see it, and they both
knew it. “I’m leaving that up to Rafael, but it will be either Seattle or
Dallas. What do you think?”

A small smile
played around her mother’s lips. “Dallas. Definitely Dallas.” Her gaze came to
rest on Melissa. “She reminds me of you at that age.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes. You
always knew what you wanted, and you weren’t afraid to say so.” Her eyes took
on a faraway look. “Do you remember how you used to like only the green
Popsicles? Your father and I were remembering that the other day. He remembered
how he’d walk you down to the corner store, and how you’d make such a fuss if
there were no green ones.” She took several deep inhalations of oxygen. “Do
kids still like Popsicles?”

“Are you
kidding? Melissa loves them.”

Shirley
pressed a button and Bella’s father came into the room. “Ron, would you take
Melissa down to the corner store? I think she’d like a Popsicle.”

Melissa
looked up, caught her mother’s eye, rose and slipped her hand into her
grandfather’s.

When they’d
left, Bella’s mother sighed. “That wasn’t very subtle, was it?”

Bella smiled.
“It’s okay.”

Her mother
folded back the sheet, smoothing it out with restless hands. When she finally
spoke, Bella had to lean closer to hear.

“I’m sorry,
Bella. I was wrong to make you leave.”

Bella looked
deeply into her mother’s eyes. “It’s okay Mom. Truly.” She’d been holding
herself tense, unsure of what would happen next, but at these words she
relaxed. “I’ve had two amazingly supportive friends in my life; first Carla,
and then, in California, Sofia.” She proceeded to tell her mother about Sofia
and Valeria. Her mother’s eyes glowed as Bella described their first tentative
steps to establish their business.

“I read about
that in some of the clippings” she said, gesturing toward the scrap books. “How
you started out selling at a beach market, but it’s nice to hear it from you.”
She grasped her daughter’s hand and Bella’s heart constricted when she saw her
mother’s frail fingers.  The skin was so translucent she could almost see
through it.

“Do you ever
think about Jeffrey?” Her mother watched her closely.

“Not really.
I get the newspaper once a month, and I’ve seen his name mentioned, but no, I
don’t think about him much.” She tiled her head to one side. “Why?”

“I don’t think
he’s happy.” Her gaze left Bella’s face and wandered outside. “There’s
something not quite right with that girl he married...Angela.”

“What do you
mean?” Bella didn’t want to be interested, but she couldn’t help asking.

“Such odd
behavior. For the first year nobody saw much of her. After that, she was seen
out and about a few times, but then she seemed to go into hiding.” Her thoughts
seemed to drift for a moment. “I’ve heard that she drinks. Up there in that big
house, all alone. That’s only a
rumor
, of course. At
least the boy is well cared for; Jeffrey takes him everywhere.”

“I have a
confession.” Bella couldn’t believe she was confiding in her mother. They’d
never talked like this before, but it felt right. “When I left here all I could
think of was ruining Jeffrey.” She gave a short, bitter laugh. “As if I could
do that. I was obsessed with the idea of coming back here and making him pay.
Fortunately, I didn’t hold onto that for too long. It morphed into a desire to
succeed; to show everybody back home that I made it.” She gazed fondly at her
mother. “Rafael and I both have the same drive when it comes to success.”

“What’s he
like, this Rafael?”

“He’s
brilliant. Always several steps ahead of the curve. He’s handsome in a way that
makes women stop in their tracks and just look at him. He’s great as a partner,
and in Melissa’s eyes he can do no wrong.”

Her mother
smiled. “How long have you been in love with him?”

“What?” Bella
looked everywhere but at her mother. “I’m not in love with him. He’s my
partner.”

“Ah.” Her
mother looked at her with a knowing smile. “My mistake.” She winced, and her
fingers started to flutter around on the light blanket. “I’m sorry, but I need
a shot.” She looked toward the doorway. “I think I heard your father come back,
could you ask him to come in?”

Bella ran to
look for her father. He and Melissa were sitting on the front porch. “Mom needs
a shot,” she said simply.

Her father
nodded, and rose. “I’m not surprised. We held back on her shots so she could be
awake when you came.”

“Oh Dad. You
shouldn’t have done that.” Bella was almost panicking.

“It was
important to her.” They entered the bedroom and he deftly administered the
drug. Shirley winced as he depressed the plunger, and gave Bella a weak smile.
“It burns,” she murmured, then lay back, eyes closed, waiting for relief.

Bella’s
father watched her for a moment. “She’ll sleep for a few hours now,” he said,
guiding Bella out of the room.

“Shouldn’t
she be in the hospital?” said Bella, following her father outside.

“She wanted
to be here. Nurses stop by twice a day to check on her and as you can see
they’ve set her up with those permanent injection sites in her arm. She’s much
happier this way.”

Bella looked
around. “Where’s Melissa?”

He cocked his
head, smiled. “I think she’s gone next door to play with the new puppies. She
was admiring them on the way home and Mrs. Andersen said she could come over
any time.”

Bella nodded.
“Good.” She sat down, emotionally exhausted, and her father sat next to her.
“How long?” she asked.

He hesitated.
Bella knew in her heart that he was trying to shield her from the truth.
“That’s one question the doctors won’t answer” he said, staring off into the
distance. “But the nurses are more forthcoming.” He shot a quick glance at
Bella, then looked away again. “She stopped eating late last week, and now she
isn’t even able to take any fluids.” Bella opened her mouth and he held up a
hand. “She can’t swallow, and although my first reaction was that we should be
giving her fluids by tube or something, the nurses tell me that this is the
natural progression of the illness. It won’t be long now.” His voice drifted
off.

They sat in
silence for several moments.

“I’ll go
check on her now,” he said. “Make sure she’s sleeping comfortably.”

It was Bella’s
turn to gaze off into the distance. It would be fall soon; life continued to go
on all around them. What was Rafael doing right now? She glanced at her watch.
He was in San Francisco of course, where he’d be charming the local caterers
and florists and the press with that dazzling smile. Tomorrow was the opening
of
Bella on the Bay
, but sitting here on the front porch of the home she’d
grown up in, it didn’t seem to matter all that much.

Her mother’s
words came back to her.
‘How long have you been in love with him?’
. She
stood up abruptly and started to pace back and forth. She wasn’t in love with
him...was she? Okay, so her heart went into overdrive every time he walked into
a room, but that didn’t mean she was in love with him! It was simply a response
to the fact that he was the most desirable man she’d ever known. She stopped,
gave her head a quick, angry shake. This wasn’t the time to be thinking like
this. It was...

“She’s
asleep.” Her father came through the screen door, closed it quietly, and eased
himself down into one of the chairs. “At least she’s pain free, but it’s hard
to see her like this. Your mother was always on the go. Always busy.” He looked
up at her. “Sounds like you’ve taken after her.”

Bella stopped
pacing and sat down, pondering his words. “I’ve never thought about it, but
you’re right. I rarely stop thinking about business.”

“She’s proud
of you Bella. We both are.”

Bella didn’t
know if it was possible to heal years of hurt in one moment. If so, it had just
happened. “Thanks, Dad. That means a lot.”

After a few
moments of silence, she broached the question that had been on her mind. On the
way in from the airport she’d been shocked at the condition of the town. Stores
that had been in business ever since she could remember were boarded up. Public
spaces that had always been scrupulously maintained were choked with weeds.
Main Street looked bleak and empty without the colorful hanging baskets that
had once been displayed on the wrought iron lamp posts.

“How are
things at the mill? As I was telling Mom, I get the newspaper once a month, but
I’m not sure how much of the news is accurate. Seems to me old man Lambert had
a bit of a stranglehold on the editor.”

Her father
raised an eyebrow. “That may well be true, but Edward Lambert did a lot for
this town. It was a sad day when he had that stroke and Jeffrey had to take
over.” He seemed to forget that Bella and Jeffrey had a history–or if he
recalled, he wasn’t letting on.

“The young
fella has done a good job, though. It’s not his fault that our prices are being
undercut by foreign imports.” He sighed and rubbed his face with both hands.
“Our production is down to about thirty five percent of what it was just five
years ago. He’s doing his best to keep it running, but if I’m not mistaken, we’ll
close within another five years. Maybe less.”

“What will
everyone do?” Bella couldn’t imagine the town surviving without the income from
the mill.

“Young
Lambert has brought in employment counsellors and the like. A lot of people
have found other work in Atlanta. It’s a commute, but they prefer to live
here.”

“And what
about you? What will you do?”

“Jeffrey has
asked me to stay until the end. He knows he can’t sell it as a business, so
he’s started to sell off the surplus equipment. I still maintain what we’re
using, and there’s lots of work involved in dismantling and shipping what he
sells. So not to worry; I’ll be employed for some time yet. And after that, I
can always find something.”