Full Circle (2 page)

“You told him
you’re going to make him pay?” Her friend Carla made a face. “What kind of
stupid threat is that?”

“Oh, I don’t
know, Carla. I was just so disgusted by his admission that he’d had sex with
her.” Bella had changed her mind about going home and was sitting with her best
friend in Carla’s back yard.

“What did you
expect? He’s a guy. A woman offers, they take.”

“What about
you and Ethan? You wouldn’t say that about him.”

“That’s
different.” Carla paused. “We’re different. I mean, who’d ever think an Italian
American and an Irish American could get along for this long without any major
battles?”

“It’s been
known to happen. Besides, we live in a small town in the south. Things are
supposed to be different here. Family values and all that.”

“Speaking of
which, Ethan wants to go to New York.” Carla picked up her lemonade and studied
the condensation rolling down the sides of the glass.

Bella was
glad of the change of subject. “Whatever for?” She had never considered leaving
Georgia.

“Two
reasons.” Carla put down the glass and looked steadily at her friend. “First
one is that he’s got the acting bug and he knows he has to go to New York if
he’s going to pursue it seriously. The second is that he doesn’t have
confidence in the future of the mill.”

“Really?” Bella
considered her friend’s words. “What makes him think that?”

“He works in
shipping, remember? He sees how much raw material comes in and how much finished
product is being shipped.” She paused, watching her friend carefully. “He says
they’re only producing about half what they were when he started three years
ago.” She took a sip of her drink. “He doesn’t think the mill has more than a
few years left. This town is going to be hit hard when it finally closes.”

Bella spoke
her thoughts. “My Dad’s always said that having only one major industry in a
town is a dangerous thing.” She glanced at her friend. “It’s like that study we
did in Economics this year, isn’t it?”

“Exactly.
This town of a perfect example of what can happen when you have all your eggs
in one basket.  Our family bakery will be affected, but it will survive; people
still need to buy bread. It’s families like yours that will really suffer. Your
dad works for the Lamberts and your mom’s business depends on people with
money.” Carla took a large swallow of lemonade. “Speaking of your mom, does she
know about this?” She gestured to Bella’s stomach.

“No, and I
don’t know how I’m going to tell her.”

“Ha!” Carla
gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “She knows.”

“No she
doesn’t.”

“Bella
Thompson. Listen to yourself. Your Mom may have had only one child, but she
knows what it means when she hears you puking your guts out every morning.
Trust me, she knows.”

Bella placed
a hand protectively over her stomach. “Do you think so?”

“Oh, yeah,”

“I wonder why
she hadn’t said anything?” Bella looked at her friend thoughtfully. “Assuming
you’re right, it will make it easier to tell her.”

“Look, kiddo.
I know you’ve only had a couple of hours to get your head around this, but do
you know what you’re going to do?”

Bella had
thought about little else. “First of all, I’m going to go to Doc Farnham and
get it confirmed.”

“No, no, no.”
Carla shook her head emphatically. “Definitely the wrong move.”

“What do you
mean?”

Carla scooted
forward on her seat. “Listen to me, Bella. We live in a small town in the
south. It may be the nineteen nineties, but this is a conservative town where
people gossip for a living. Your Dad works for the mill and your Mom takes in
sewing.” She sat back and waited for her words to sink in. “I agree that you
have to go to a doctor for a check-up, but not here. Not in this town.”

Bella looked
at her friend. “How do you know all this?”

Carla shrugged.
“My cousin Maria.”

“Oh.” Bella
vaguely remembered the abrupt departure of her friend’s cousin.

Carla put a
gentle hand on her friend’s arm. “Go home now, Bella. Tell your mom before your
dad gets home. It’ll make you feel a lot better.”

Bella gave
her friend a lopsided smile. “When did you get so wise?”

Carla shook
her head. “I just wish I could be of more help.” She squeezed Bella’s arm, then
let it go. “Call me if you need me, okay?”

* * *

“Bella, could
you come in here please?” Her mother called her as soon as she stepped through
the back door.

“Hi, Mom.” Bella
stood in the open French doors that separated her mother’s workspace from the
rest of the downstairs. “How was your day?”

Her mother ignored
the question and waved a hand impatiently. “Sit down, dear.” She pushed her
chair back from the sewing machine. “Are you pregnant?” Her gaze moved to Bella’s
stomach. “I want you to tell me the truth.”

“Yes, I am.
How did you know?” It was a stupid thing to say, but she hadn’t expected such a
frontal assault and needed time to think.

“I’ve heard
you in the mornings.” Her mother looked away, out the window. “Have you
confirmed it?”

“I did a
pregnancy test today.”

Her mother
looked startled. “Where did you buy the test? Not at our CVS, I hope.”

Carla had
been right; it was starting already. “No, Mom. I bought it last weekend when I
went to the mall near Atlanta with Carla.”

“Does she
know?”

“Yes...she’s
my best friend. I told her I was going to go to Doc Farnham and she warned me
against it.”

“Yes, she
would,” her mother said vaguely. “After that business with her cousin Maria.”

“You knew
about that?”

“Bella, this
is a small town.” Her mother paused, took a deep breath. “A very small town.
People talk.” She looked up. “It’s Jeffrey, I suppose.”

Bella nodded.
It was evident her mother had been thinking about this.

“Have you
told him?” Her mother’s eyes narrowed.

“No.” It was Bella’s
turn to look away. She spoke dispassionately. “I went to meet him after I took
the test. I’d planned to tell him, but he had some news of his own.”

Her mother
waited.

“He’s going
to marry Angela.”

“Angela
Sterling?” Her mother had made several items for Angela’s mother, wife of the
town’s leading attorney. “I got the impression that they broke that off a while
ago.”

Bella
continued, dry-eyed. “They did, but according to Jeffrey, they had some sort of
an encounter last month and now she’s pregnant.”

“What a
mess.” Her mother pressed the fingers of one hand into her forehead. “Don’t
these young people have any restraint?”

“Was it so
different in your day?” Bella surprised herself, but held her ground.

Anger flared
in her mother’s eyes, but soon subsided. “No, I suppose not.”

They sat in
silence for a few moments, each lost in her thoughts. Finally her mother spoke.
“There’s a church in Atlanta that has a home for unwed mothers. I think you
should go there.”

Bella studied
her mother. She couldn’t blame her, really. Willow Bend
was
a small
town, and a pregnant daughter reflected badly on any mother. “Is that what you
want?”

“It’s what I
would prefer, yes.” Her mother spoke with conviction, but couldn’t meet her
eyes.

“What happens
when I get there?” Bella was fairly sure she wouldn’t like the answer.

“You’ll go
there before you start to show, and live there. You’ll get medical care, and
have your child in the hospital adjoining the facility.” Her mother twisted a
piece of fabric nervously. “And after the child is born, it will be given up
for adoption.”

Bella nodded.
“And then I come back here, like nothing happened?”

Her mother
looked up, startled. She obviously hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Yes, I
suppose so.”

“No.”

“I beg your
pardon?”

“I said no.
I’m not giving my child up for adoption.” Her voice started to rise, but she
made no effort to lower it. “How could you suggest such a thing?”

“Lower your
voice.” Her mother looked nervously out the front window. “People will hear
you.”

“That’s what
this is all about, isn’t it?” Bella leaned toward her mother, her voice low and
steely. “It’s about making sure people don’t find out. What about me?”

Her mother
lifted her head. “You lost your rights when you had sex with that boy.” She
stood up and walked toward a side window. “Your father and I have talked it
over and he’s left all the decisions up to me.” She turned back to Bella. “You
either agree to this, or you’re on your own.”

“Just like
that?” Somewhere in the back of her mind, Bella admired her mother’s
determination.

“Yes, Bella.
Just like that.” Her mother braced herself against the back of the chair, and Bella
noticed that her hand trembled slightly. “There isn’t any other way.”

“All right.”

Her mother
took a step forward. “You’ll go to the home?”

“No, I’ll go
out on my own.” Bella’s stomach was bunched in knots, but she managed to speak
calmly. “But I won’t wait. I’ll go within a couple of weeks.” She held her
mother’s gaze. “And no, I won’t change my mind.”

Her mother
looked away first, and a moment later, tires crunched on the gravel at the side
of the house. “Your father’s home. I’d like to talk to him alone, if you don’t
mind. Dinner will be on the table in half an hour.”

* * *

Carla sat on
her bed, legs crossed in the lotus position. “So where are you going to go?” Relieved
to learn that Ethan was in rehearsal for a new play, Bella had gone to Carla’s
place after dinner.

She traced
the pattern on the quilt with one finger. “I’m not sure yet, but Mom suggested
Florida. She seems to think that I’ll need fewer clothes if I go somewhere
warm, which is true when you think about it. But I think the real reason she
wants me to go to Florida is so that she can be close by when her grandchild is
born.”

“Those are
good reasons.”

Bella
shrugged. “I suppose so.” She was quiet for a few moments. “I’ve never lived on
my own before, but for some reason I’m not afraid. I figure if I leave soon, I
can get a job for a few months. You know, get settled.”

“What are you
going to do for money?” Carla had a good head for money; she’d been paying the
bills and doing the banking for the bakery for the past several years.

“Mom’s going
to pay my bus fare and give me two thousand dollars.” She looked at her friend.
“Is that very much?”

Carla raised
both eyebrows. “Not really. You’ll have to pay a month’s rent in advance, and
some places want another month as a security deposit. You’ll have to find a job
right away.”

Bella nodded.
Instead of frightening her, the discussion was strengthening her resolve. “I’ll
find something. I’m not worried about that. I’ve even been thinking about
getting two jobs, so I can put some aside for when I have the baby.”

Her friend’s
eyes were suspiciously bright. “You’ll let me know if you need help, won’t you?”

It was a
struggle, but Bella didn’t give in to the burning tears that threatened to
spill over. “You know I will.” She checked her watch. “I’d better get going.
Ethan will be here any moment to pick you up.”

Carla walked
her to the door. “Remember, I’m driving you to the bus station in Atlanta.”

Bella gave
her friend a quick hug. “I remember. Thanks for everything.”

“I can’t
believe you’re actually leaving.” Carla looked around the bus terminal. “Look
at all these people!” She brought her attention back to her friend. “I want to
remember you here, Bella, so I’m not going to walk you out to the bus.”

Bella tried
not to show her relief. “I was hoping you’d say that. Let’s say goodbye and get
it over with.” She had a tight hold on her ticket, but her stoicism was
starting to slip away. “I’ll contact you as soon as I’m settled, I promise. And
as for you, I want to know right away if you and Ethan go to New York. Okay?”

Carla nodded,
unable to speak. She pulled her friend into a fierce hug and then turned and
walked away. At the outside doors she paused and turned. Tears streaked her
face, but she smiled, waved a hand and then disappeared into the brilliant
sunshine.

Bella gave a
sigh of relief. One more hurdle crossed. She looked up at the departures board,
even though the ticket seller had told her which bay to look for. Then she
looked down at the ticket in her hand. Los Angeles. Not telling Carla where she
was going had been difficult, but the change of plan was something she had to
do on her own...an act of defiance, perhaps. She’d write to both her mother and
Carla as soon as she found somewhere to live.

* * *

Exhausted
from the past ten days, she slept much of the way to Dallas, where she switched
buses. Once inside the terminal, she washed up in the restroom, and then
ordered breakfast in the restaurant, covertly watching the other passengers.
Singles, couples, mothers with children; each had a different story, and she
realized that hers was just one among many.

She was
surprisingly content to let the hours and the countryside roll by. New Mexico,
with its unique landscape was oddly appealing and before she knew it they had
crossed into California. Here the names were more familiar, and she sat up
straighter, fascinated by the golden light that streamed through the windows of
the bus. More passengers started to board, and at Indio her luck ran out; an
older woman took the seat beside her. Smelling faintly of lavender, she clutched
her purse in her lap with both hands.

“How far are
you going, my dear?”

Bella was
startled. It was the first time anyone had spoken to her other than food
vendors or bus drivers since she left home. “Ah...I’m going to Los Angeles.”