FullDisclosure (2 page)

“So what the fuck was that?” he demanded, his voice lowered but no less caustic than it had been a minute earlier.

“What was what?” She shrugged in frustration. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He motioned his head toward the front of the restaurant. “That guy. You were trying to pick him up. I saw it clear as day.”

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by his finger jamming into her chest. “I told you, no more tricks. I catch you picking up another john and I haul your skinny ass down to the station so fast—”

“I wasn’t trying to pick him up!” she hissed back. “Why the hell would you think that?”

“I saw the way he looked at you. And then you touched his hand. What the hell is that, if it’s not a come-on?”

She curbed the urge to turn around and look at the young man who had been so sweet to her. He was nothing like her usual clientele. Young, well-dressed in designer jeans and a fitted cotton shirt that showed off an impressive pair of shoulders. With his professionally coiffed hairstyle and polished leather boots, he looked more as though he belonged on Bay Street than this godforsaken corner of hell.

And most patrons caught with their hand at their crotch would get defensive and angry. Maybe even yell at her. But this one hadn’t done that. Instead he had smiled—and blushed, for God’s sake. And what a smile it was—genuine and sincere. A smile that had made her feel somehow safe and at ease. As though for the first time in years, someone actually saw beyond the baggy eyes and the checkered past, and saw her for who she was. A tired, scared, misused woman who just wanted life to hand her
one
break. And preferably a break that did not come in the form of a cracked jaw or broken rib.

“He’s just a nice guy and he looked like he could use a smile, is all,” she reasoned. She hazarded a quick glance in his direction and felt a little shiver when she noticed that he was gazing at her with obvious concern. She turned back to Rufus. “And he looks like he could be a good tipper.”

Rufus narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know. You’re a lying little slut, and I shouldn’t believe a word you say.”

Although it made her ill to do it, she didn’t have a choice. Rufus held the key to her future in his hand—and potentially the key to a jail cell. She’d spent far too much time behind bars already. She had no intention of going back there again—ever.

“Honest, Rufus. I wouldn’t do that. I promise.” She traced a finger down his chest. “But maybe a blowjob in the back would help convince you?”

His Adam’s apple bobbed and he shifted his gaze to her breasts. She fought the urge to cover them. “Right now?”

“Sure. In the storeroom. I’ve got time.” She brushed a hand over his fly. “If you do.”

His smile turned lascivious. “You got a deal. Lead the way, bitch.”

Evan stopped on the corner and gazed down the tiny side street toward Maggie’s Diner, the seedy little out-of-the-way dive he himself had chosen for their forbidden rendezvous. He was itching to see Jake. Couldn’t wait to lay eyes on that dusty mop of blond hair and laughing green eyes. To breathe in the light, fresh scent of Jake’s cologne. To feel the desire that coursed through him every time he came within twenty feet of those broad shoulders and sinewy forearms. His heart was thudding in anticipation of seeing his young lover, but his brain was screaming in protest. He had no business here, had no business risking everything for a few moments of self-indulgent pleasure and unbridled joy. His life was about more than that. Trouble was, at that moment, he was having difficulty remembering what that was.

He had come here with one purpose in mind but now, as he stood here going over it all in his mind, silently repeating the speech he’d rehearsed a thousand times in front of the mirror, he felt a lump form in his throat, and he knew he couldn’t go through with it. Not like he had planned anyway. All he knew was something had to change—he just wished he could figure out what.

Well, he couldn’t just walk away now. Not even if he wanted to, as his feet had already started moving him toward the diner’s front door.

He stepped inside and was immediately hit by the odor of sweat and grease. Maybe he should have chosen the sushi place up the street instead.

Jake smiled at him from his booth by the front window and Evan’s heart leapt. He couldn’t tamp down the smile he felt as he crossed the room and embraced Jake in a warm hug.

“Hey, man,” he said past the fresh lump that had formed in his throat. “You look good.” And he did. Jake looked as tanned and fit as Evan had ever seen him. The old faded jeans with the tattered knees only enhanced the sense of youth and energy.

“Me?” laughed Jake, slapping Evan on the shoulder. “What about you? Denim and leather? You really took the whole slummin’ idea seriously.”

Evan shrugged, suddenly selfconscious about the drastic wardrobe change. While in the city, silk suits and designer ties were his usual fare. Other than trips to the cabin or the gym, he rarely wore anything else.

“Well, considering the neighborhood, I thought it appropriate.” He slipped out of his tailored leather jacket and slid into the booth across from Jake.

“Yeah, well, it works.” Jake paused a moment, gazing down at Evan with a look that made his pulse race. At last he slipped into his seat, but that didn’t mean Evan’s pulse slowed down one iota. “It works great.”

“You ordered already?” asked Evan, eyeing the basket of biscuits.

“Nah. Just a goodwill offering from our waitress.” He pushed the basket in Evan’s direction. “Help yourself. I’m afraid she may be a few minutes.”

Needing something to do with his hands, Evan accepted. He picked up a biscuit and broke it open, pleasantly surprised by the flakiness and enticing aromas that erupted from the treat. He popped a piece in his mouth.

“So, why the diner, Ev? Why not the cabin? Or you could’ve come to my place for once. It’s been ages.”

Only the flakiness of the biscuit allowed it to make it down his throat. “Yeah. Well.” He cleared his throat. “The thing is, I wanted to talk. I didn’t want other…stuff to get in the way.”

The silence that ensued was suffocating. “I see,” replied Jake. “I didn’t think that
stuff
was typically a problem.”

“It…it’s not. I’m sorry. That didn’t come out right.” He reached for Jake’s hand and then thought better of it. This wasn’t Church Street. Around here a display like that could earn him a black eye, or worse. Which was exactly why he’d chosen this place. “You know how I feel about you, Jake.”

Jake’s expression turned hard. He leaned back in his bench and crossed his arms. “Actually, I don’t, Evan. Lately I don’t have a clue. And the thing is, I don’t think you do either.”

Evan looked out the window, trying to formulate his words.

And that gave Jake an opening. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks now. Months even. You often ignore my calls, and always come up with excuses for not being able to meet me.” He leaned forward again and lowered his voice. “But when we do get together it’s so great. Our last time at the cabin was…beyond words. It felt so damn right. It felt like—I don’t know—like something slipped into place. I thought we were going somewhere. I don’t get it, man. What happened?”

The words slipped out before he could stop them. “We were going somewhere, Jake. And that’s exactly the problem.”

“Huh? What the fuck are you saying?”

“Coffee?”

The interruption irritated Evan beyond words, but the cheerful timbre of the waitress’s voice took the edge off his anger. She was just doing her job, after all. He took a deep breath and flipped over his coffee cup for her. “Sure. Thanks.”

She filled his cup. “I don’t suppose you’ve had a chance to look at the—”

She stopped abruptly and Evan looked up to see what was wrong. What he saw made his mouth go dry.

“Evan?” she whispered. “Evan, is that you?”

Evan stared in astonishment. “S-Sadie? Sadie Ballantyne?”

“Evan. Wow.” She sighed, shook her head. “You look as good as ever. Better, even.”

“Thanks. You…uh…” He couldn’t lie. Sadie used to be a beauty, with her delicate features, chocolate-brown eyes and gleaming mane of chestnut hair that flowed down her back between the sexiest pair of shoulder blades Evan had ever seen.

Now, however, her hair was limp and shaggy, her eyes dull with fatigue. And she was so thin, her delicate features had become exaggerated and harsh. But she was still Sadie. Philip’s Sadie.

The memories that came flooding back were so thick they threatened to clog his airways and turn his stomach. He barely got words out at all. “So, you’re working…” He looked around and couldn’t hide his surprise. “Here?”

She shrugged, color flooding her cheeks. “Yeah. Seems I am.” She cleared her throat, glanced at Jake and smiled. She pulled out her notepad and completely ignored the giant white elephant that was trumpeting at them. “So, you guys ready to order then?”

“Hang on,” said Jake, his voice incredulous. “This is crazy. How the hell do you two know each other?”

She and Evan shared a look and she saved him. “I used to work at a more upscale place, is all. They went out of business and…” She shrugged again. “Here I am.”

“Yeah. Long time ago, I’m afraid. There was a fire, I think.”

“Yeah. A fire,” agreed Sadie, her voice heavy with irony. “Unfortunately not everybody made it out okay.”

“Oh.” But Jake’s eyes were slicing into him. Jake knew him too well. “Really.”

“So, our special today is beef stew.” Her voice had turned thin and reedy, as if she were trying not to cry.

“Uh…actually,” Evan pulled out his BlackBerry and feigned a glance at his appointment calendar. “I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to stay. I completely forgot about a teleconference I have scheduled.” He pulled out a twenty and slapped it down on the table. “I hope that covers it.”

Her expression clearly said “Not nearly”, but she managed to deliver a cheerful, “Of course. Thanks.”

Evan stood and reached for his jacket. “You want to grab a cab with me, Jake? We can talk on the way downtown.”

“I suppose.” Rage was building in Jake’s voice, but at the moment there was nothing Evan could do about it. He couldn’t face Sadie right now, couldn’t deal with her on her own, let alone with Jake hovering. He had to get out of there. He had to gather his thoughts and pull himself together. He wasn’t used to that feeling. He was a man of power, a CEO of a Fortune company for God’s sake. He was always in control, always knew what to do, what decisions to make. But at that moment he felt completely overwhelmed, as if he was flying apart.

He nodded to Sadie on his way to the door, relieved when Jake followed him. “It was good to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too.”

But the door was already swinging shut behind him.

He made it a half a block without saying a word to Jake or Jake speaking to him. When he raised his hand to hail a taxi, he thought he was safe.

He was wrong.

Jake grabbed his raised wrist and dragged him back against a filthy store front. “What the
hell
was that all about?”

“Hey.” Evan wrenched his wrist out of Jake’s viselike grip. “What the hell’s wrong with you?”

“Wrong with
me
? What the hell’s wrong with you? How do you know that woman, and why did she send you running like a scared rabbit?”

“You heard her. I just knew her from another restaurant. What’s the big deal?” He worked up a self-righteous glare. “And I did not run like a rabbit.”

“You are such a lousy fucking liar. And you did so.” Jake took a step back as if to see Evan more clearly. “I’ve never seen you so unnerved. Not even the first time I shoved a butt plug up your ass.”

Evan’s anger spiked. He leaned in close and hissed, “That was uncalled for.”

“I don’t know. I think avoiding me and then lying to me kinda makes it called for.”

“I wasn’t—
Shit!
” He whirled and walked away, heading for a nearby alley. He stopped only when he realized Jake wasn’t following him. “Well, come on. This isn’t the kind of stuff you talk about in the middle of the street.”

“Really. I’m intrigued.” But at least Jake followed him.

The alley smelled far worse than the diner. Urine and decay seemed to permeate the very bricks of the walls that surrounded them. For that reason—as well as simple logistics of safety—Evan didn’t go far. He leaned against the crumbling brick but kept the sidewalk within arm’s reach.

Jake leaned against the wall opposite him. “I’m still hungry,” he growled. “We could at least get some sushi.”

“No.” Evan shook his head. “This won’t take that long.” The honest truth was he just couldn’t be around people at that moment.

“Holy shit. What the hell is going on with you?”

“It’s…complicated.”

“Well, uncomplicate it for me.”

“You and me, Jake. We need to take a break.”

“I was kind of getting that impression. What I don’t get is why?”

“It’s going too fast. I feel like I’m getting in too deep. Like I’m in danger of losing myself.”

Jake laughed. “Did you read that in a
Cosmo
somewhere? What the fuck does that even mean?”