Fully Automatic (Bullet) (6 page)

He felt like a fucking idiot and was surprised there was any rational thought left in his head.  Still, he said, “That’s not the only reason you use one.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Do you have one?”

“I might.”  He didn’t remember the last time he’d actually needed one, but he was sure he had a couple in there.  He’d wanted to be prepared in case Leah decided she was ready.  He felt
a moment of sadness which steeled his resolve, and he lifted his right cheek to pull out his wallet.  Yep.  Pay dirt.  He barely had it out when Misti snatched it out of his fingers and ripped the package open.  She maneuvered it over his cock and then slid him inside her before he could even register what was happening.  He couldn’t even remember her taking her jeans and panties off.

But, God, did she feel incredible.  He knew he had to prolong climax as long as possible and he wasn’t sure how, because he hadn’t felt this good in a long time.  His eyes were closed and he
tried to focus on everything
except
the insane sensations below.  He couldn’t even tell if she was close.  She leaned back and stuck two fingers between them and started rubbing herself.  In no time, she was crying out, clenching against his dick, and then he knew it was safe to let himself go.

It felt like his brains were flying out of his cock.  He realized his fingers were pressed into her back as he got his bearings again.  His breathing started to slow.  She grinned and sat up
, and it sent a shiver clear through to his balls.  “Rest up, big fella, because I’m not done with you.”

He didn’t know if he should run out of there, afraid for his life, or get down on his knees and say a prayer of thanks.

But he stayed.

Chapter Six

THE GUYS IN the band were jealous when they found out Brad was boning an older woman who was hornier than hell.  He felt more confident sexually than he ever had, and she gave him suggestions once in a while.  She was sweet about it, but he could take a hint, and he felt like his time with her was making him a better lover.

He finally got his first tattoos that summer—he started with a half sleeve down his right arm.
  That was pretty expensive, so after that he just had some of his song lyrics tattooed on his left shoulder.  Then he started banking his money, saving up for things for the band.  His mom was nice enough to let him continue living with her.  He knew why, though.  It was a huge two-story, four-bedroom house that would have felt too empty.  She didn’t charge him rent, either, but Brad made sure he continued doing chores so he kind of earned his keep.

And he lined up a few gigs for the band.  He wasn’t able to
schedule as many as he would have liked and all but one were out of town, but it gave them some practice in front of an audience, and the experience was invaluable.  Playing onstage was so different from fucking around in his garage.  Even when they’d played entire sets together, it was nothing like doing it live.  They couldn’t simply stop when something wasn’t right.  They had to keep going, push through the mistakes, recover, go on.  And the energy was exhilarating.  Brad didn’t understand why Ethan felt the need to get stoned before going onstage.  His friend was missing some of the best highs he could imagine.  They also met some great bands to network with.

Brad felt like he was laying solid groundwork for the future.  He imagined these bands would help his
own band go further in the future.  He’d already landed two gigs thanks to other bands.  The band he felt the most solid connection to was a band out of Denver called Last Five Seconds.  They were good guys with a hardcore sound, and Brad was surprised they hadn’t made it already.  All he could figure was that they just hadn’t been heard by the right people.

Ethan didn’t get to know any of the bands, though, even when they partied together, because the guy was taking his chemical dependency to new levels.  Brad started to worry and considered talking to June about
it, but he knew that would only make Ethan worse.  He knew, because they’d been there before.  The previous summer had been almost as bad, but when school started, Ethan managed to keep his partying confined to weekends only.  Brad hoped having to attend college in the fall would have the same effect.  In the meantime, he did his best to keep Ethan upright and away from the worst stuff.  He now regretted the time last fall he and his friend had tried meth together, because it was something Ethan played with now and again.  Brad never thought there would be a day he’d be glad to see his friend taking heroin, but it was better than meth and crack.  Ethan seemed to prefer the drugs that made him mellow, anyway, and meth didn’t work that way.

By August, he felt like he was completely over Leah.  Part of him would always care about her, but he no longer felt sad.  He was having the time of his life, because
Misti only wanted him for sex.  She didn’t want a relationship.  That opened the door to occasional other girls who just wanted a little fun with a guy who could sling an axe.  He finally discovered the secret—sex, lots of it, was the cure for a broken heart.  Did he feel a little empty?  Yeah, but he was willing to pay the price.  As one of Bullet’s frontmen, the confidence he was gaining by becoming a master in the bedroom was priceless.

He still wasn’t cocky, though.  That wasn’t his bag.  It was a quiet confidence.  He had no need to get in people’s faces about how good he felt about himself.  There was no need.  But it was an attitude that drove him forward, and he saw results in his day-to-day life.  More women approached him than ever had before, many of them older (but not to the extreme like
Misti), and he got a large raise at work, where he was now employed full time.  His newfound confidence and what he almost considered luck made him more determined than ever to make his band work.  Bullet was going to make it big if it was the last thing he’d ever do.

* * *

Late August, Ethan and Zane left for school.  Brad felt a little discouraged, but his friends had promised to return home when needed.  Brad had gigs lined up in September, October, and November, and he’d even managed to land two during their Christmas break.  The guys promised to practice at school, especially right before shows, and they’d try to come home occasionally to get together to practice and maybe even try on some new stuff.  They’d find a way to make it work, and Brad hoped that maybe before next summer, they’d have a record contract, and then Ethan and Zane’s families would see that they had a future in music.

Fall seemed to come quickly, faster than it ever had when he’d been in school, and—as promised—Zane and Ethan showed up for their gigs in spite of being in school.  The nice thing was they were making a little cash, and Brad figured that had to be an incentive as well.  He’d been watching other bands make money with merch tables, so
he planned to invest in t-shirts (now that he’d made a logo), stickers, and other stuff, and he hoped they could record an EP in the spring.  First, though, more amps.  Living at home and working full-time made it easy to save up and buy things for the band.  When he wasn’t working, he was doing something band related.  He was almost obsessed, but he was driven.  He was determined to make it work.  He was not going to be a fucking lube tech his entire life.

Girls weren’t as important, either.  Yeah, he was getting laid on a regular basis now, but he’d managed to keep his heart from getting snagged.  His goal wasn’t to be a heartbreaker either, so he tried to be upfront with girls, letting them know he wasn’t ready for a relationship.  Most of them seemed okay with it, and those who weren’t, he didn’t pursue at all, because he didn’t want to hurt anyone.  He’d been there himself and didn’t want to do it to someone else.

He and Misti fizzled out sometime early October.  She got back together with an old boyfriend and told Brad she was sorry for letting him down.  He tried to assure her that he was okay, but she acted nervous that now he’d go tell his mother.  Part of him felt relieved because it was often awkward.  On occasion, though, she’d still buy him liquor if he wanted it, and that, he supposed, was a great payoff from the relationship.

He knew he’d gotten more out of it, though, and if he hadn’t felt like it would make him look stupid, he would have profusely thanked
Misti.

At Thanksgiving, Ethan and Zane hung out for several days before heading back to college.  Ethan started talking about some girl he’d met at school, and Brad worried at first. 
He was angry that he felt that way, because part of him was anxious that a girl was going to take his best friend away from him, make his friend no longer interested in making music or even coming home.  But the more he, Ethan, and Zane talked, the more he realized that this girl was just a friend…or at least Ethan played it off that way.

“Anyway, she keeps pestering me about seeing the band, so I’m gonna see if she wants to come home with us next weekend.”

Zane said, “Dude, we’re coming home next weekend?  You know it’s finals week after that, right?”

Ethan sneered.  “Like you give a shit?”

Zane started laughing.  “Right.  But if I’m here practicing and partying with you guys, my parents are gonna know I’m not studying my ass off for finals.”

“So?  Do you really care?”

Zane shrugged.  “No, but I feel like I should since they’re spending money on it.”

“You study enough while you’re there.  You’re getting Cs, right?”

“Mostly.”

Brad shook his head.  “No problem if you guys want to wait till after finals.  I hear college tests are a bitch.”

Ethan smiled.  “Like
I
give a shit.  Yeah, so, my grandpa’s paying for it.  I told him I didn’t want to go, but that if he was going to make me do it, fine.  I’d do it.  I’m showing up for classes, and I’m trying to study, but damned if it’s gonna ruin a good weekend.”

“Whatever.  I’m here no matter what.”

“So, like I was saying, I’m gonna see if Valerie wants to come home with us next weekend.  I think you’d like her.  She’s a total metalhead, but she doesn’t look like it at all.  Well, in all fairness, she was able to pull it off when we went to a concert earlier this month.  She’s a nice girl, though.  There aren’t many of us there, if you catch my drift, so she’s cool.”

“You still want to practice then?”

“Yeah…she wants to see us play, so we
should
.”

“Works for me.”  Brad had no idea that meeting Ethan’s new friend would change the entire
course of the rest of his life.

* * *

The first weekend of December arrived, and, with it, snow and cold.  Brad was finally feeling like a real man, not just a kid trapped in a man’s body.  It had been a long, hard year, but he’d made the transition.  He felt ready for anything.  He wanted to take on the world.  He knew he simply had to hold out for a few more months and then he and Bullet could make a real go of it.  He knew living in this little burg wasn’t helping.  They needed to get out where there were more people.  Sure, they could post a few YouTube videos, but there was nothing like a live audience.  He knew that would be their key to success.

By the time Brad got off work that Friday late afternoon, he hadn’t heard from Ethan.  His friend
had said he was going to call when he got home from school so they could arrange meeting that night.  It had started snowing sometime around noon, though, so he wondered if maybe they’d decided to wait it out.  He called Ethan’s cell phone so he’d know if he should expect him or not.

Ethan answered after one ring.  “Hey, dude.  How’s it going?”

“Hey, man.  Fine.”

“You know that friend I told you about?”

“Yeah.  You guys come home?”

“Yeah.  We’re here, and she’s here with us.”

“Cool.  So you wanna get together, do some practicing?”

“Hell, yeah.”

“We have a couple shows later this month and next, so we have a lot of work to do.  Nick should be free after six.  You wanna plan for seven?”

“Sounds good.
”

Brad hung up.  That gave him a couple hours to shower, eat some dinner, and do some much needed guitar maintenance.  Tonight, Bullet would be performing for an audience of one, and he planned to treat it like a real show
…so he had to be ready and at the top of his game.

Chapter Seven

BRAD HADN’T QUITE known what to expect when Ethan and his new friend arrived, but he hadn’t expected
her
.  She was outgoing and friendly, but there was something about her.  She looked nothing like Leah, but she reminded him of her just the same.  He couldn’t quite figure out why, but that wasn’t good.  He was drawn to her from the second he laid eyes on her.

The only saving grace was that Ethan had talked of her only as a
friend
.  He hadn’t indicated any attraction whatsoever.  In fact, Ethan had been bragging over Thanksgiving break about all the college pussy he’d been getting, so Brad was pretty sure this young woman was off the guy’s radar.

They’d made their way through perfunctory greetings, but all of them headed to the garage, eager to play.  They hadn’t been able to practice as much over Thanksgiving break as they’d hoped, and now they could get in some solid time to prepare for their shows later in the month.  Their last practice session had sucked balls anyway, so Brad was hoping this one would help them hone and polish some songs.

The other guys were plugging in and setting up, something Brad had done an hour earlier, so after he’d shown Ethan’s friend where she could sit to watch them play, he decided he needed to talk to her.  Jesus Christ, was she cute.  She had long brown hair and bluish-green eyes.  She wasn’t overly tall, but she was stacked.  She seemed oblivious to how attractive she was, though, which drew Brad to her all the more.  That was a definite Leah quality.  There was something about this girl…
something
.  It was inexplicable, but he wasn’t going to question it.  He hadn’t felt this way about a girl
since
Leah, and it was a nice feeling, unlike the coldness he’d been growing accustomed to.

“Valerie, right?  Ethan’s told me so much about you.  I feel like I already know you.”  She smiled, and then her eyes drifted toward his half-sleeve tattoo.  He’d worn a sleeveless shirt after getting out of the shower, probably a stupid move
since they’d be hanging out in the cool garage, but he liked showing off his tats whenever he could.  He hadn’t gotten them to hide them.  He
wanted
people to look.  So when he took Valerie’s hand to shake it after she started nodding, he said, “Like the ink?”

Oh, that was even cuter.  Her cheeks turned pink.  She had no idea she had nothing to be embarrassed about.  “Yeah.”

God, he had to let go of her hand, but he didn’t want to.  He felt connected to her somehow.  Yeah, it made no sense, and he could have kicked himself.  He suspected it was because she was so much like Leah…only better.

* * *

They spent the next hour playing their hearts out for Val.  Brad had warned her that neither he nor Ethan had good enough vocal chops, and maybe that was the next thing Brad should work on. For now, though, he hoped warning her would allow her to forgive their rough edges. In terms of music, he knew his guitar playing would rival anyone’s. 

Still, they’d played a mix
of all their original songs as well as a lot of their favorite covers, and Brad could tell Valerie really was a metalhead when he caught her singing along, first to Judas Priest’s “Heavy Duty/ Defenders of the Faith” (sung by Ethan) and next when he saw her mouthing the words to Marilyn Manson’s “Coma White” (that he sang).

Brad treated Valerie like he would have any girl who’d be sitting in the front row.  He wasn’t stupid; he knew that sometimes it wasn’t just the music when it came to females.  Sometimes it was also sex appeal.  He’d been working on that.  In this young lady’s case, there was even more to it than that, but she didn’t have to know that.  He was glad he’d been working on that since June—opening up to the audience, making eye contact.  Ethan had somehow managed to do the exact opposite.  He’d get onstage and look inward.  Lots of people thought it was because Ethan was completely absorbed in his music, and Brad knew that was part of it.  He knew his friend well, though, and he knew that wasn’t all of it.  Ethan was not a stage person.  He wanted to share his music with the world, but he wasn’t comfortable with people watching.  It had taken Brad a while to figure it out.  That was part of why Ethan would indulge before every single damn concert.  The music was salvation for Ethan too, so he wished he could find a way to get his friend to slow down.  At the rate he was going, he was gonna kill himself.

Tonight, though, Brad’s thoughts were not with his best friend, who, amazingly, appeared to be quite sober.  He was tense, but that was nothing new.  No…Brad had taken it up a notch tonight.  Everything he’d been practicing for months he was using full force on Ethan’s friend, and it appeared to be working.  He loved the look in her eyes.  At first, she’d seemed embarrassed, pulling her lower lip into her mouth and holding it in with her teeth or blinking a few times and then looking down into her lap.  But in that short time, he felt like they were making some kind of connection.  He even winked at her once, confirming that they had shared some kind of moment, and she blushed again and smiled and then turned her attention to watching some of the other guys.  Probably a good idea.

He noticed something else too.  She kept looking over at Ethan, but his friend was off in his own little world.  When he wasn’t high on something, Ethan’s next best defense against the overwhelming sensations he felt was drowning in his guitar.  She was hoping to get his attention, maybe so she could pretend there wasn’t something magnetic
between her and Brad.  And he realized that Valerie had some pretty strong feelings for Ethan…but he was pretty sure Ethan didn’t feel the same way.  He’d seen Ethan with girls, and he could tell that Ethan wasn’t reciprocating whatever it was Valerie was feeling.  In fact, Ethan had turned something off inside after he’d caught Heidi cheating on him for the last time.  It was worse than what Brad had done after Leah.  It was like Ethan was putting a permanent lid on his heart.  It was too bad for this girl he’d brought home from school.  But Brad couldn’t feel sorry for her, because that meant he was free to make a move.

They finished playing, close to an hour later, and Brad knew it was chilly in the garage because, in spite of the two space heaters they had
blowing full blast, Valerie continued to hold her coat tightly around herself.  He didn’t feel a thing, though, and was probably on the verge of perspiring.  Someone who’d never performed like they did would probably never understand, but he worked hard, and that exertion kept him plenty warm.

He and his three bandmates set their instruments (or drumsticks) down and looked at Val in anticipation.  Brad wanted to know what she thought, but he knew all
of them were eager to hear her opinion.  His hope was that she’d be honest.  They got plenty of praise from friends and girls who’d drooled over them, so an honest voice would be refreshing.  Then again, the way she seemed to adore Ethan, she might not want to hurt his feelings.  She might only say nice things too.  He was hoping, though, that she’d know that anything constructive she had to say would be taken seriously.

Ethan grinned at her, finally his old self.  “So, Val, what do you think?”

“Well…”  Val had a concerned look on her face.  Oh, fuck.  He’d wanted honest but not painful.  “I don’t know how to tell you this, but—”  He prepared himself for the worst.  Well, maybe she’d have something to say that they could use to improve.  He had to hope.  But then she got a huge grin on her face, and Brad felt his spirits lift.  “You guys are—
fucking fantastic
!”  As if she hadn’t meant to go that far, she covered her mouth, raising her eyebrows.  That was cuter than hell.  Maybe she didn’t feel comfortable swearing in front of them, but he didn’t understand why, considering they’d been singing curses all night long.  She was Ethan’s friend—surely, she knew he—and his friends—talked that way constantly.

They all started laughing, mostly from relief.  Ethan grabbed Val, picking her up out of the chair and twirling her around.  Oh, that feeling in Brad’s chest wasn’t good.  He was already aching for this young woman
, and he’d only met her a little over an hour ago.  What the fuck was wrong with him?  It was stupid, but he knew this much:  he should
not
be feeling jealous about Ethan’s friendship with her.  She obviously had some strong feelings for his friend and Brad had to accept that.

Ethan stopped spinning her around, letting her stand.  “You little shit.  You had me fooled there for a second.”  Laughing, he asked, “Are you serious, though?  Do you really like our sound?”

She had a twinkle in her eye, but Brad could tell she was being sincere.  “Of course, I do.  You guys will go so far if you keep playing like that.  And you can play for
me
anytime.”

Brad couldn’t help letting out a howl.  “Good.  I told my mom and dad someone would like our stuff.  My dad asked what mom said and before I could even answer, he said it was a sound even a mother couldn’t love.  Thanks for proving him wrong, Val.”

Zane had already picked up his instrument again and played a mean bassline. “
We
like it, and that’s all that counts.”  He grinned and put it down again, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Brad was inspired.  He knew a way to not only endear himself to this beautiful young woman, but he wanted to have some fun with her, and no one would be the wiser.  He couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face when he said, “Hey, Valerie.  I saw you mouthing the words to all the covers.  Would you like to sing one?”

The look on her face said it all.  Part of her wanted to say no, but Brad could tell she was tempted to say yes.  Still, she laughed, waving her hands in front of herself.  “No, that’s okay.”

She
simply needed a little encouragement.  “I’m serious.  You could give our vocal cords a rest.”

Ethan got a huge grin on his face, draping an arm around her.  “Besides, you said you’d always fantasized about being on stage.”

She looked like she was starting to cave, but she continued to protest.  “Well, I don’t know.  Both your voices are a lot better than mine.”

And that’s when Brad knew she was full of shit.  He knew he and Ethan both needed work in the vocal department.  Sure, they didn’t suck, but the only way this girl could have a worse voice was if she was tone deaf.  He doubted it.  People who were tone deaf usually figured it out and stuck to singing out loud only when in a car by themselves.  So he wanted to urge her one more time.  He could tell she wanted to.  “No excuse, Val.  Come on.”   He was getting ready to get Nick and Zane on board too, but he couldn’t stop looking at Val.  She took them all in, though, as if to make sure everyone was okay with it.

It was simple, though.  “Okay.”  Brad and Ethan high fived as though they’d won a championship game.  Val added quickly, “But only one song.”

He was cool with that.  “Of course.”

Zane leaned forward.  He knew Val probably as well as Ethan, so it was good to have him on board.  He asked, “What do you want us to play?”

She stood in thought for a
few seconds and finally said, “No idea.”

Brad didn’t want to lose her now, just because she couldn’t think of anything to sing.  He slid his guitar strap over his head and asked, “How do you feel about Korn?”

“I like ‘em.”

“Name anything you could sing off one of their first four CDs.”  Ethan gave him a look.  “What?  I can play any one of ‘em.”

Ethan was staring him down.  “
I
can’t.”  He turned to Val, and she gave him all her attention.  “Know ‘Moon Baby’ by Godsmack?”

“Yeah.”

“Would you feel comfortable singing it?”

“I think so.”

“You know the words?”

“Yep.”

“You heard the woman.”

It had happened so fast, Brad didn’t realize what was going on until it was too late. 
Ethan had slid his guitar strap over his head, so Zane followed suit with his bass and Nick trotted the few steps back to his drum kit.  Of all the songs they knew, Ethan knew damned good and well “Moon Baby” only needed one guitar.  Sure, Brad could be a lame ass and echo, but no way.  He knew Ethan liked to mix songs up and change them, and no way was Brad going to look like an amateur next to his friend.  So he instead slid the mike out of the stand and offered it to Valerie like a present.  Once she took it, he propped his guitar against the wall and sat in Val’s now-empty chair.

It gave him an excuse to return the favor.  This woman had been trading glances with him for the better part of an hour, and he’d enjoyed the hell out of it.  He wanted to see her in action.

She was amazing.  Brad wondered why she’d been so full of doubts and fears.  She had a strong voice, loud and powerful yet sweet and smooth like an angel’s.  And once she started, there was no hesitation.  She sang as though she’d been doing it her whole life.

Goddamn.  That made her sexy in Brad’s eyes. 
She was feeling the music, and when she would close her eyes at certain spots in the song, she never lost the strength.  It got Brad to thinking, thinking about other possibilities, but those thoughts would stay tucked in the back of his mind a little while longer.