Fun Campfire Ghost Stories (5 page)

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Authors: John Bradshaw

Tags: #funny stories, #ghost stories, #campfire stories, #stories for boys, #stories for girls, #short story humor, #fun ghost stories, #camping stories, #fun short stories

BOOK: Fun Campfire Ghost Stories
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The cowboy jumped out of the bath and went
running naked out of the room, down main street and right out of
town never to be seen again.

The room sat vacant for several years until a
U.S. Marshall drove into town. He asked Granddad for a room, but
all the rooms were taken except for the haunted one. "That's fine,”
said the Marshall. "I've killed 21 men, been shot 6 times, stabbed
3 times, and I eat raw meat. No goofy ghost is going to scare
me."

So, the Marshall went up to his room. As soon
as he closed the door he heard, "I'm the ghost with one black eye."
He turned and smashed right through the door, jumped into his car,
and drove out of town screaming at the top of his lungs.

A couple years after that, a family was
passing through town on a family vacation. Any idea how many rooms
were left? NOPE - there were TWO rooms left! But, the mother and
father wanted their own room and their young son could have his
own. Granddad told them about the ghost, but the boy just said,
"Wow! A real Ghost? Great!"

The mom and dad went to their room and the
boy opened his up and went in. He took a bath, got ready for bed,
and hopped under the covers. Just then, he heard, "I'm the ghost
with one black eye." The boy hollered back, "Well, I'm a Cub Scout
and you don't scare me! If you don't shut up, you're gonna be the
ghost with two black eyes!"

 

 

*****

 

 

Chapter 13 - The long sales call

 

 

O
ne morning, Mary
Katherine, a door to door saleswoman of fine women’s household
products, knocked on Mr. Benson’s door and asked if the lady of the
house was in. Mr. Benson, a quiet man of few words, responded
succinctly that his wife wasn't there.

“Well,” continued Mary, “Could I please wait
for her return?” Mr. Benson stated that he did not think his wife
would be home anytime soon, but if she wanted to wait she was
welcome to. Mr. Benson showed her into the living room and left her
there for several hours.

Mary called out to Mr. Benson and asked him
if he was able to call his wife to inquire as to when she would be
home. Mr. Benson said that he was sure his wife would not answer
the call.

The saleswoman began to feel a little worried
so she called out to Mr. Benson and asked, “May I know where your
wife is?”

“She went to the cemetery,” he replied.

“Oh I’m sorry,” said Mary, “Was it somebody
close to you?”

“Yes very close,” was Mr. Benson’s
response

“Did you go to the funeral?” Mary asked.

“Yes,” said Mr. Benson.

“So you think your wife will be coming home
soon?” asked Mary.

“I don't really know,” Mr. Benson said and
then he added.

“She's been there eleven years now.”

 

 

*****

 

 

Chapter 14 - The viper

 

 

P
aul was a wealthy
retired businessman who lived alone in a large house just out
beyond the mall. His wife had died years earlier and they had no
children. Paul took great pride in his house and always kept it in
impeccable condition. One sunny day, Paul was out in his garden and
had a heart attack. The ambulance took him to the hospital as fast
as possible, but it was too late.

Paul left his house and belongings to his
only living heir, his niece Beth. Paul had only meet Beth a few
times as a child. She lived in the next state over in a small run
down apartment. Beth also lived alone since she was not married.
When Beth found out that she had inherited a large house and money
to live in it, she became very excited and looked forward to
starting a new life. She packed her few belongings up and moved
into her Uncle Paul’s house. She looked forward to making it her
own.

A couple of nights later, Beth had just
finished dinner when the phone rang breaking the silence of the
house. She answered the phone with a, “Hello.” A voice on the other
side said, “I am the Viper and I vill be there tomorrow.” Beth did
not know what to think. The Viper would be here tomorrow? Who could
that be? Why would he be coming here? She thought maybe it was a
wrong number or a prank call. She decided to ignore it and settle
in for a good night’s sleep.

Beth awoke refreshed and went to the kitchen
to make some breakfast. While she was enjoying her second cup of
coffee the phone rang. Remembering the strange call from the
evening before, Beth answered it hesitantly. The voice on the other
end said, “This is the Viper and I vill be there this afternoon,”
and then hung up.

Beth started to become afraid. Should she
call the police? Should she leave the house and take a room at the
local hotel? Beth decided to pick some flowers out of the garden
and, being such a beautiful day, she became preoccupied and time
flew by. It was well after lunch when the phone rang again. Beth
thought about not answering it, but decided to anyway. “Hello,” she
said. The voice on the other end said, “This is the Viper and I’ll
be there in less than an hour.”

Beth froze with fear. She hung up the phone
and then immediately called the police. After telling the police
her story, they said that they would be right out. After hanging up
with the police, she felt better and unplugged the phone from the
wall.

About fifteen minutes later, there came a
knock at the front door. Beth, thinking it was the police, rushed
to the door and opened it. There in front of her stood a large
unshaven man, his shirt wet with sweat, his long graying hair
blowing in the breeze. He had a tool of some sort in one hand and a
bucket in the other. Beth’s legs almost collapsed under her,
thinking that a maniac was about to torture and kill her. The man
looked up at her and said, “I am the viper and I am here to do my
monthly vindow vashing and viping.”

 

 

*****

 

 

Chapter 15 - A full moon

 

 

A
paranormal
investigative group in the state was called to a haunted house. The
homeowners warned the group that the house was haunted by an
especially "evil" spirit that enjoyed playing pranks. The team
leader of the paranormal society invited a close friend to come
along. He was a physicist and amateur paranormal investigator, who
everyone called "Doc". Doc believed that there were no such things
as ghosts or poltergeists, and that every type of haunting or
unusual phenomenon had a reasonable, earthly explanation.

They traveled across the state in three
vehicles filled with team members and equipment. Upon arriving at
the home, the team immediately started setting up the monitoring
equipment as the team leader and his friend, Doc, received a tour
of the home from the homeowner.

At one point in the tour, as the three men
approach the staircase that led to the second floor, very loud
footsteps could be heard on the upstairs landing.

"Is anyone else home?" Doc asked the
homeowner.

"No, my wife's at work and we have no kids,"
the homeowner replied.

Excited to have his first opportunity to
confront an alleged ghostly spirit, Doc walked to the bottom of the
stairs.

"Come on! You can do better than that you
lousy ghost!" Doc yelled up the stairwell.

"Doc, I wouldn't do that if I were you," the
paranormal team leader advised. Doc ignored him. Instead, he
stepped up onto the bottom step.

"If you're really a ghost, why don't you show
us what you can do, you lousy, no-good prankster!" Doc yelled.

At that very moment, his pants flew down
around his ankles. The homeowner and the team leader burst into
laughter as Doc, terrified, struggled to pull his pants back up. He
then stumbled as fast as he could out the front door of the house.
He refused to re-enter the house or to talk about the episode ever
again. However, the episode went down in the records as one of the
most humorous moments the paranormal team had ever witnessed in a
haunted home.

 

 

*****

 

 

Chapter 16 - Spell check

 

 

B
rad and Jeff had a
tough week at school. They both had a pop quiz in science and had
not done well. Their parents would find out next week when school
progress reports were due to go home. They knew that they were
doomed to weeks of extra study time and that any fun stuff would be
severely curtailed. Since it was Friday night the two boys knew
that this might be their only chance to get out and do something
fun. They both wanted to see the new horror movie at the theater
and they both liked seeing other people get scared so they decided
to go to the movies.

The movie was great. All the girls screamed
every few minutes and everybody jumped in their seats more than
once. All they could talk about, as they left the theater, were the
neat scary parts of the movie. As they followed the path home, they
were about to pass the old Hollingsworth Cemetery when, just for
laughs, the boys dared each other to take the short cut through
it.

The old graveyard was a scary place. There
were a lot of criminals buried there from the penitentiary just
over the hill. They even said that it was haunted by ghosts.

Right in the middle of the dark and creepy
cemetery, the boys were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming
from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they headed towards
the noise since there was no way around it and soon found an old
man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the
headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," Brad said after catching his
breath, "You scared us half to death -- we thought you were a
ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They
misspelled my name!"

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