Further Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman (9 page)

BOOK: Further Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman
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Plus, scheduling-wise, it was a lot more convenient for me. Apparently Jose’s wife was the superstitious type, and her psychic told her holding the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding would bring bad luck. As a result, the Garcia rehearsal dinner was scheduled for the weekend before the nuptials. This meant I’d be obligation-free the weekend of Alice’s wedding.

After we’d worked out the general details, Patrick drove me home, with Doomsday riding along, head hanging out the window, in the backseat. He dropped us off two blocks away from my apartment, leaving the dog and me to walk the rest of the way.

As soon as Patrick left, I bent down, wrapped my arms around Doomsday’s neck, and hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry about this morning.”

“Okay.” She licked my face, signaling her forgiveness.

I wished people could forgive so easily.

“I have to tell you something upsetting,” I said, straightening and heading for home. “Godzilla is missing.”

The dog fell into step beside me, completely oblivious of the leash hanging from her collar. “Why?”

“I’m not sure. I think he may have gone looking for you.”

“Am here I.”

I took that to mean,
Here I am
. We walked the rest of the way in silence.

As we approached the door of my apartment, a superior voice said, “It’s about time.”

I spun around. “God?”

“Who else were you expecting?”

“Missing not,” Doomsday panted excitedly. She scampered over to where the lizard was perched on the railing, but stopped abruptly, taking care not to crash into him. Lowering her head, she sniffed him. “Home everyone.”

A painful lump rose in my throat as I watched him reach out with his tiny front foot to pat the tip of her nose.

“It’s wet!” He wiped the dog snot onto the railing. “Disgusting.”

“Inside, Doomsday,” I said, pushing the apartment door open.

She bounded in.

I squatted down to get a better look at God. “Where’d you go?”

“How did you find her?” he countered.

“I didn’t. Patrick did.”

“And yet you were cavorting with Mr. ’Roid Rage.”

“You saw Paul? Where were you?”

“I notice you’re not denying the cavorting.”

“I wasn’t cavorting with him. If you must know, he stopped by, uninvited, and suggested I take him as my date to the wedding.”

“If you ask me, that would be a bad idea.”

“But I didn’t ask you. My knees are starting to hurt from squatting like this.”

“That’s from the cavorting.”

“I didn’t cavort with him,” I snarled. I put out my hand, palm up. “Do you want a lift inside, or did you plan on staying out here the whole night insulting me?”

Gingerly he stepped onto my palm. “Don’t forget, I have sensitive skin.”

I carried him inside and let him climb from my hand onto the driftwood in his enclosure. “I turned him down on the wedding date thing.”

“Wise move.”

“I’m glad you approve.”

It was difficult to tell which of us was more sarcastic. We glared at one another. It’s stupid to get into a staring contest with a lizard since they don’t have eyelids and can’t blink.

I’d been doing a lot of stupid things, and was about to do a lot more.

 

Chapter Ten

“S
O ABOUT THAT
disco ball . . .” Armani said.

We were at one of the picnic benches outside Insuring the Future. I was having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch; she was eating what looked like tuna salad with gummi worms.

“Did you have another dream about it?”

Instead of answering me, she stared over my shoulder.

“Tell me it’s not Harry,” I said.

“Nope. It’s your cute guy.”

“He’s not my cute guy.”

“He could be, if you’d unleash your inner Chiquita.”

I rolled my eyes. This wasn’t the first time she’d suggested I let out the fun-loving gal she believed was stifled in the depths of my psyche. “Trust me, I’m not his type.”

“Hey there, gorgeous,” Zeke called as he approached the table.

Armani waved to him with her good hand.

I turned to face him. “What’s up?”

“I needed to run a couple of things past you for the shower.” He slid onto the bench beside me. “Hi, Armani. How are you?”

“My day’s getting better getting the chance to look at you,” she practically cooed.

Instead of being flustered by her outrageous flirtation, he smiled. “You’re good for my ego.”

Pitching her voice lower, she said suggestively, “I’m good for a lot of things.”

“I bet you are, but”—he sighed sadly—“I’m a man on a mission. No time for distractions, no matter how enjoyable they might be.”

“What do you want with the Chiquita?”

“I wanted to get her okay for the menu. He pulled a folded menu from a local catering hall out of his back pocket. “I figured Italian since it’s Alice’s favorite.” He put the menu down in front of me.

Scanning the items he’d marked, I said, “Good choice.”

“Great. Now what do you think about decorations?” He reached out and stole the half of my PB&J I hadn’t eaten from yet and took a big bite, eyes twinkling like he expected me to give him a hard time about it.

I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I think they’re the stuff landfills are made of. We should skip the decorations.”

Armani gasped. “You
have
to have decorations.”

“Why?” I asked. “You spend a small fortune on them, they’re out for a couple of hours, and then you throw them away. They’re a waste of resources and money.”

“But we’re going to have them,” Zeke said. “Because you know as well as I do that Alice is going to want them. So help a guy out and tell me how to do them.”

“How should I know?”

“You go to a lot of weddings.”

“Not by choice.”

“Everything’s a choice,” Zeke countered. “You choose to be the kind of person people can count on even when you’re doing something you despise.”

I frowned at him. “Have you been drinking the same Kool-Aid as Aunt Susan?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” I took another bite of the half a sandwich he hadn’t taken.

“What are the wedding colors?” Armani asked.

I eyed her suspiciously, worried she was one of those women who spent her weekends curled up with a pint of ice cream, watching marathons of the wedding shows that litter television. “I don’t know.”

“How can you not know? You’re the maid of honor. What color is your bridesmaid dress?”

“Pink.”

“Salmon,” Zeke corrected. “The dress is salmon.”

Armani wrinkled her nose. “Uh-uh-gly.”

Zeke nodded his agreement.

“You should decorate the room in salmon,” Armani told him helpfully. “And since the color is ugly, you should use a lot white stuff. White tablecloths, maybe white candles or flowers, and you can get a lot of white things like wedding bells.”

“All this for the knocked-up virgin bride,” I muttered.

“Wedding bells?” he asked, ignoring me.

“They’re these paper things you unfold and hang everywhere.”

“Great ideas, thank you.”

I watched him and Armani discuss possible decorating ideas for the next ten minutes, feeling more than a twinge of jealousy. I had no interest in planning the shower, but I did wish I was the one Zeke was laughing with. I knew it was silly, especially since, as I’d told Armani, I knew I wasn’t his type, but it would have been nice to have been the recipient of his charming attentiveness.

After he’d taken copious notes of Armani’s suggestions, he focused on me. “Have you thought about a gift?”

“That I’ve got under control.” I’d known what I was going to give Alice when she got married since we were fifteen.

“What’s a good gift to give at a bridal shower?” Zeke asked Armani.

“Well,” she said slyly, “I usually give lingerie.”

Zeke held up his hands in surrender. “Are you trying to get me killed? Have you seen her fiancé? Nice guy, but on the jealous side. You don’t want my boyish good looks to be messed with, do you?”

Armani giggled. She actually giggled. Why did every woman I know have to succumb to Zeke’s charm?

“Give her something off the registry,” I said.

The smiles dropped off their faces at my sharp tone.

“What’s wrong?” Armani asked.

“Nothing. He’s right. If he gives Alice some sort of lingerie, Lamont will get the wrong idea and beat the crap out of him. He’s better off just getting something off the registry.”

“And leave the lingerie to Loretta?” he teased gently.

I couldn’t help but smile a bit at that. “You know her too well.”

He brushed the hair off my face, skimming my cheek.

My heart rate sped up.

“I know all of you,” he said, looking into my eyes with an intimate intensity.

My stomach fluttered. I forgot to breathe as I got lost in those blue eyes of his. I wondered if he knew that I’d carried a torch for him all those years earlier. I wondered if he had any idea the effect he still had on me.

“Pick,” Armani ordered, breaking the strange spell Zeke had cast over me.

She held out her bag of Scrabble tiles to Zeke. He took one.

“Take six more,” she told him.

“I don’t have time for a game. Maybe next time?”

“It’s not a game. Pick six.”

He looked to me for guidance.

“She’s sort of psychic,” I told him.

“Not sort of,” she muttered.

“She has dreams and visions and reads Scrabble tiles.”

“So pick six more.” She shook the bag at him, making the tiles click against one another.

Obediently he pulled six more. She held out her good hand and he dumped them into her upturned palm.

“I need to think about these for a while,” she said. “I’ll tell Maggie what they mean at the end of the day and she’ll tell you.”

“Okay. Thanks. I’ve never had my fortune told before.”

“I’m not a fortune teller. I’m a psychic.”

Zeke flashed her a smile. “Well either way, it’ll be a first for me.” He turned his attention back to me. “Anything else you need from me?”

I hadn’t been aware I’d needed anything from him until he showed up.

He pressed a kiss to my cheek as he stood up. “Places to go. People to see.”

“What do you do, Zeke? For a living,” Armani asked.

“A little bit of this. A little bit of that.”

Armani frowned. “What does that mean? You’re unemployed?”

“Leave him alone,” I interrupted. “He works at The Big Day.”

“No I don’t.” He sounded surprised. “You think I work at the bridal shop?”

I looked up at him. “You don’t?”

He shook his head.

“But . . . Why the hell were you there then? And how’d you find the perfect dress for Alice?”

“You really think it’s the perfect dress for her?”

“Yeah, she looks gorgeous in it.”

“She looks gorgeous in just about anything.”

I winced. It wasn’t easy having a best friend that everyone thought was stunning. I’d long ago resigned myself to the fact that she’d always outshine me, but that didn’t mean it didn’t sting.

Seeing my discomfort, Zeke hurried to say, “I didn’t mean—”

“Why were you there?”

“I was there to see somebody else. It was just luck that I ran into you.”

I’d known Zeke a long time and could have sworn I saw something falter in his usually easy smile, but before I could press him about it, we were interrupted.

“Ladies.”

I barely suppressed a groan as I turned to see Harry standing a few paces away.

“I was just wondering whether you were planning on attending this afternoon’s training session.” Harry looked to Armani for an answer, seeming to take care to not make eye contact with me.

“Are there going to be cookies?” Armani asked.

Harry nodded slowly.

“Chocolate cookies?”

Harry’s eyes widened and his Adam’s apple bobbed, but he nodded again.

“Then we’ll be there,” Armani said. “Right, Chiquita?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’ll let you all get back to work.” Zeke said, moving quickly away from the table in the direction of the parking lot.

“Me too.” Harry beat an even hastier retreat.

“Thanks for your help, Armani!” Zeke called.

She watched him go. “You’d be a fool to pass that one up, Maggie.”

“I told you. I’m not his type.”

She rolled her eyes. “You also thought he worked at a bridal shop. I’m thinking you don’t know him as well as you think you do. You should definitely get to know that man better.”

S
OMEONE
I
DON’T
want to get to know any better is my father, and yet, after work, instead of going to visit Katie, I found myself in the waiting room of East Jersey State Prison, where he currently resides. He’s a permanent guest of the state for robbery and murder. The murder of a cop’s wife, who happened to be working as a teller at the bank he was robbing, might very well be an unjust conviction. I had believed my dad had done it, up until last month when he’d confided he hadn’t. I sort of believed him. It didn’t mean he wasn’t a crook, though, and a lousy husband and father.

Alice would hear none of that, though. Ever since he’d saved her from her monstrous stepfather she’d always seen him as her personal knight in rusty, dented armor, which is why I found myself waiting to see him. She’d begged me to take her for a visit before she got married.

“Are you bringing a date to the wedding?” Alice asked, nervously eyeing the guard in the corner of the visiting room. I’d warned her that she’d be patted down, but the professional groping had unnerved her.

“Nope. Going solo.”

“Because Loretta said you might be bringing that cop.”

“I’m not.”

“You could. He’s hot.”

“And he’s got a hot temper.”

“So would you mind being Zeke’s date? He’s not bringing anyone either. I told him he could, told him we’d be cool with it, but he said he’s not going to. Maybe you could dance with him a couple times.”

“Maybe.”

Alice smiled, a far-off look in her eyes. “There was a time you’d have killed for a chance to dance with him.”

I winced inwardly at her choice of words. “You would have too.”

Before we’d found out he was gay, we’d both had teenage crushes on Zeke.

She laughed. “How far we’ve come.”

Glancing around at the gray walls of the prison, I didn’t think that where we’d ended up was any better than where we’d been.

My father appeared on the other side of the Plexiglas partition. He lowered himself into a chair so that he was eye level with us.

“Mr. Lee!” Alice squealed with delight.

He beamed back, looking like a benevolent department store Santa Claus rather than a convicted felon. “Such a nice surprise. You’re more beautiful than ever, Alice.” He switched his gaze over to me. “It’s good to see you, Maggie May.”

I tilted my head in Alice’s direction. “She wanted to see you.”

He nodded, his joy fading, accepting that his daughter hadn’t wanted to see him.

“I’m getting married, Mr. Lee.” Alice displayed the sparkling engagement ring Lamont had put on her finger.

“Congratulations.”

“And I’m pregnant!”

“That’s wonderful news.”

“We’re very excited.”

“You have a lot to celebrate.” Leaning forward, he looked to me. “What about you, Maggie? Has Katie given you any reason to celebrate?” His affection for his granddaughter was evident.

I nodded slowly. “She’s opened her eyes a couple of times.” Just the once when I was there, but she’d done it a few more times when my various aunts were visiting. “The doctors are cautiously hopeful.”

“Cautiously hopeful is good.” He relaxed a bit in his chair. “So tell me, what else is new with you two girls?”

“Zeke is back in town,” Alice gushed. “He’s helping with the wedding. He’s a godsend.”

“I actually wanted to ask you something,” I said, interrupting her waxing poetic about my frenemy.

A flicker of surprise flashed in my father’s eyes. He wasn’t accustomed to me asking anything of him. “Shoot.”

“Did Theresa ever mention Dirk’s sister, Abilene?”

“Why?”

“You can’t just answer the question?”

“It’s out of character for you to ask,” he countered.

“Forget I asked.” Folding my arms over my chest, I glared at him.

“He didn’t say he wasn’t going to tell you,” Alice interjected, playing peacemaker. “He just asked why you were asking.”

I really didn’t want to tell them, but I really needed to know if Theresa had said something that might help to swing the odds in my favor in the upcoming custody battle. “She’s suing me for custody of Katie.”

“She can’t do that,” Alice said.

“She is. So,
Dad
.” I emphasized the name to remind him that he owed me something. “What did Theresa say about her?”

He pulled on his white beard thoughtfully. “Dirk was afraid of her.”

My stomach soured. Dirk may have been a jerk, but he’d never struck me as a man easily scared. “Why?”

“She has a lot of power, a lot of money.”

Two things I definitely didn’t have.

“You can’t let her take Katie,” my father said.

“I know.”

“You have to do whatever it takes to keep her.”

I nodded, wondering if that would involve killing Abilene.

“According to Theresa, the woman always hated Dirk. She destroyed his toys when he was a kid, wrecked his relationships as they got older. He moved across the country, from Vegas to here, just to get away from her. Did you know she managed to get their old man to name her as head of the family business, even though Dirk had worked his butt off for ten years?”

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