Gabriel (5 page)

“Water, sweetheart,” Ruadhan said. “Makes it difficult for rifts to open near it.”

I unbuckled the nylon belt and reached for my backpack. “Don't recall that stopping Zherneboh on the mountain; there was a lake right there.”

Gabriel placed his hand on the door handle. “It makes it difficult, not impossible. Takes a lot longer to open a rift near water. That lake gave us time. Enough time to reach you. The Purebloods don't know you're alive, and that's the way it needs to stay. We're leaving tomorrow night. Regardless, now that we know they are able to command the rifts, the river makes me happier.”

I looked at Ruadhan. “And where will you go?”

He turned in the passenger seat to face me. “Not sure yet, love, but it's nothing for you to concern yourself with.” He smiled and his bushy eyebrows lifted.

Gabriel stepped out of the car and then opened the backdoor for me. I followed them to the entrance of a B&B. Rushing in from the rain, we were greeted by a friendly woman hovering by the front desk.

“Two rooms, please,” Gabriel said.

“Well, of course! How long will you be staying?” The woman reached for the pen that was pushed through the whitening bun on the back of her head.

“Tonight, and all day tomorrow.”

“Well, checkout time is one p.m., so if you want the rooms for the afternoon, you'll need to book for two nights.” She smiled, flipping open a large, rectangular leather book and scanning the page.

“That's fine,” he replied. Rustling around in his pocket, Gabriel produced a heap of cash and handed over more than I thought he probably needed to.

“Fantastic. Ah, now we have only one room available. There's a beer festival going on not far from here, so we're pretty full. But the two beds are both queen-size, and you have your own bathroom.”

“It will do; we're not staying long,” Gabriel said.

Taking some fresh towels off a shelf behind her, she handed them to Ruadhan, along with just one key. “Follow me.”

Before she walked us up the winding staircase, she pointed out the dining room, a living area, and a ground-floor toilet. I trailed behind as we climbed three flights of stairs—the old floorboards squeaking underfoot—to the top of the Edwardian house. Walking past several doors, we finally arrived at Room 16.

After she'd opened the door for us, she left. As Ruadhan hit the light switch, the bulb flickered, shedding little light on the room. But with these new abilities, I could see everything clearly.

The room was decorated with murky green carpets and floral bed linen, coupled with mismatched curtains. There were two queen-size beds, as promised; an old plastic kettle; some milk on a small table; and a couple of newspapers, thrown messily over the end of one of the beds.

I eyed the door to the shower. Gabriel put his hand to the small of my back and said, “Feel free. I'll put the kettle on for you in the meantime.”

Ruadhan handed me a towel from on top of the pile.

“I won't be long,” I said.

The door wouldn't shut properly, having warped long ago, so I wedged it closed the best I could. I undressed, checked the water, and then stepped into the shower cubicle.

I took a moment to place my palm over my crystal before turning the knob to increase the heat.

As the water drenched my skin, I scrubbed hard, with a desperate need to wash away the stale odor of death. I recalled the existence I'd had before my life was thrown into chaos. I flitted from job to job, town to town, never putting down roots. I was so alone, except for the visions of Gabriel. He was the only person who had brought me any real happiness, even if it had been in a life gone by.

And Gabriel's words about choice ultimately had helped to bring me back from what should have been my final end. I realized that what I wanted now was no different from what I had sought before I'd found Gabriel again. To
live
, not just exist, and to not be alone. And just like before, I was placing my hope of finding happiness in him.

A knock on the door was followed by Ruadhan's booming voice. “Lailah, love, are you okay in there?”

“Yeah. I'm getting out now,” I replied.

I turned off the shower, and as I wrapped the towel around myself, I looked at the new scar running across my chest. Yet another mark acting as a reminder, a warning, and a truth. My scars would never fade away, and I feared that just like them, neither would my knowledge of what was really going on in the world. But if I wanted to be happy, I had to look forward now, not back.

I collected my clothes from the floor and wriggled the door free. When I stepped back into the room, Gabriel had a cup of tea waiting for me, along with a killer smile.

“Thanks,” I whispered.

Throwing the clothes to the end of a bed, I sipped the tea, but it didn't warm my insides as it would have once done. Drinking seemed like a pointless exercise, and so I set the cup down. “I don't think I need food and water like I used to.”

“Perhaps now the sun will fuel you, as it does me,” Gabriel said. The hope in his voice was unmistakable.

Ruadhan, perched on the end of the bed nearest the door, lowered his newspaper. “She has the abilities of both Angels and Vampires, Gabriel. So, perhaps she will need to feed as we do.”

Gabriel's body stiffened.

I walked to the bed and sat staring out at the cloak of darkness behind the window, considering what Ruadhan had said. It was not the thought of drinking blood that upset me most; it was Gabriel's reaction to it.

Gabriel joined me, the mattress dipping as his weight met it. “Lailah, it's okay.” He paused, sensing my unease. “What you are doesn't define
who
you are; that's still your choice.” Gabriel nudged me into his body. My brow dipped. I could refrain from using my Vampire abilities if I wanted to, but earlier today my fangs had cracked and I'd been overcome with fury. That had not been my choice.

As his breath skimmed my neck, I relaxed. “Can you sleep?” I asked.

“I don't have to, but I can. You can, too, if you want. In fact, why don't you curl up now and get some rest? In the morning, I will take you to meet with the sunrise, and if it fuels you the way it does me, then we have nothing to worry about.” His pitch rose, and once again I detected hope.

While Gabriel was prepared to acknowledge the darkness within me, he was also keen to tamp that part down. And in a way, he was trying to make me feel better. He assumed I wanted to meet his sunrise. It was what he wanted. But what would happen to us if it wasn't the choice I wanted to make after all?

I fingered the clothes at the end of the bed, and without me having to ask, Gabriel got up, allowing me space to change into my sleeveless shirt and panties. Pulling back the duvet, I nestled myself within its warmth. I watched Gabriel quizzically as he set out for the other bed.

“You'd rather share with Ruadhan tonight?” I asked.

Ruadhan—who was once again reading the newspaper but clearly eavesdropping—laughed jovially, and Gabriel turned back to face me.

“Ruadhan will be going out on patrol actually, so I was just going to take this bed.”

“Speaking of which,” Ruadhan said, standing to attention, “I better get on duty. I'll be back before sunrise.” He slammed the door closed as he left, leaving me alone with my Angel.

Gabriel switched on the lamp that was on the bedside table before turning off the main light switch. The glow was dull at best, but Gabriel's bright eyes glinted and glimmered. He sat next to me and stroked my cheek with the back of his fingers. I didn't say anything; I couldn't. I was too entranced by his eyes as they reached into my soul, spreading his light around my whole being. The lamp behind him created a halo-type effect around his face. How could someone be so divine? I was his Pair; we were two halves of one whole. But he was totally unspoiled, and I was, well, entirely inadequate. By his side, my defects were so much plainer to see.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked.

“You. Me. Us…” Gabriel and I might be able to communicate through thought, but we couldn't read each other's minds, which was sometimes a blessing. Although, if we were both open to it, we could show each other what we were seeing or recalling. We could also block each other.

“Specifically?” he probed.

“I'm not good enough for you,” I murmured.

“Never think that.” He frowned and traced his fingertip down my neck. “You are my everything. Period.” Gabriel hesitated and then grinned cheekily. “Room for one more?”

I couldn't help but return the smile. When I was with him, my worries about the world—all the big stuff—just melted away.

Gabriel removed his sweater to reveal a plain white T-shirt. Masterfully, he removed his shoes and socks, using only his toes to wriggle out of them. My insides knotted as I waited to see if he would take off his khaki trousers, and I think he considered it but left them on and hopped in under the duvet next to me.

I was lying on my back, and he put his sturdy arm behind me as he positioned himself on his side. He began tickling my bare arms, and every nerve ending in my body electrified. I grew nervous, anticipating what he might do next. He ran his hand down past my belly button and pushed up the hem of my shirt. Finally, he placed his palm flat on my tummy, pressing his skin to mine.

A current of excitement whizzed through me and something deep down coiled in expectation. I lunged a little too eagerly toward him and he drew back, leaving a gap between his lips and my own.

“Gabriel,” I murmured.

He tilted his head from side to side, as though he was deep in thought, and finally lowered himself so that there was virtually no space between us. But instead of kissing me, he brought the tip of his nose to mine and gently grazed my skin. His long lashes brushed my cheek as he moved just below my earlobe, where he placed the lightest of kisses, and trailed down to my collarbone. Moving his hand up my shirt, my whole body rippled with excitement as he grazed my breast, but he surprised me by placing his hand on my scar.

He stayed entirely still for an age when suddenly, hand still across my heart, his lips found mine. His kiss was ferocious as he crushed his lips hard against mine. I replied with the same need, shaping my mouth around his. Gabriel's fingernails grazed the scar, and my eyes fluttered as he stopped.

He bit his bottom lip.

“It's okay; it's just a mark,” I said, embarrassed.

He exhaled heavily. “It's not that.”

I sat up and he moved away from me.

Why had he stopped kissing me? I stumbled quickly upon the obvious. “Do I feel different now?” I hoped that wasn't what it was.

“No, Lai. No.” He sighed and leaned in, gracing me with a sweet peck. “I want to be with you, but I need you to want the same and to decide that for yourself.”

I had no idea what he was talking about. Of course, I wanted him. He was all I wanted. I shook my head. “I don't understand what you mean. I do want you.”

He cleared the disobedient strands of my bangs that had fallen down in front of my eyes. Placing his hand back over my scar, he pressed down. “Your heart. I need all of your heart, and before you … fell … I'm quite certain it was torn in two.”

His hand was spread wide across my chest, and I placed both of mine on top of his.

“It's all yours. Truly.”

His body tensed, the muscles flexing in his shoulders. He started to say something, but then stopped abruptly. “You need to rest. We're up at sunrise. We can talk more about this when we're gone from here, for good.”

Knowing better than ever that tomorrow might never come, I tried again. “Gabriel, please. It's only ever been you.”

I reached for him, but he snatched my wrist, and his face hardened in a way I had never seen before. He caught himself quickly and brought my hand closer, pressing my palm to his cheek.

His action unnerved me. I didn't know what to say and rolled onto my side. After a few minutes, he snuggled up behind me, moving his strong arm under my waist.

His breath tickled my neck. “I love you, Lai.”

“And I love you,” I whispered.

I was warmed all the way through as he glowed behind me. I closed my eyes tight and fell into a light sleep.

As my mind emptied of conscious thought, the haze was like a dream as an image appeared, welcoming me to watch.

There I was with Gabriel, under that old oak tree I had seen in my visions—my memories—before. The crisp autumn leaves lifted, swirling with the wind. Gabriel lay on the grass, his head resting in his hand, peering up at me as his elbow dug into the ground. I noticed the chessboard past his feet, the pieces scattered. And I was cross-legged on the grass with a small chromatic, willow harp resting between my legs. I watched as I plucked the strings. I hadn't known I had once been able to play such an instrument.

Yet even then, while peace was singing, her halcyon song o'er land and sea.

Gabriel's words were almost whispered as he sang the song that had belonged to him and me some time ago—in some distant place and time.

Gabriel's face was bright, and his eyes beamed as if he were singing the song through them instead of his lips. Although Gabriel did not age, somehow he looked younger then.

As the wind dropped, the leaves gently scattered. As they did, I realized I could hear everything—from the sound of his voice to the ethereal notes cascading from the harp. The previous memories and visions of my past lives had always revealed themselves to me as though they were in mute. And the scene around me was so very vibrant. It had appeared in pastel shades before, and yet now it was as though the entire memory was in high definition.

Gabriel sat up, smoothing away the long, golden curls that had fallen in front of my eyes; he continued to sing, and then I watched my past self join in.

Though joy and hope to others bringing, she only brought new tears to thee.