Gabriel's Bride (35 page)

He couldn’t be certain.

“You’re very quiet, Gabriel Fisher.”

“I—” He cleared his throat and tried again. “I’m thinking.”

“I’ll not ask you what about, but I will point out that the time it took to mull over the answer could be the answer in itself.”

Monday came and Tuesday too, and still Gabriel was no closer to an answer than he had been on his walk with Rueben Beachy. He looked out over the field of corn, the neat green rows splitting the red-brown earth. New crops, a new beginning, and yet he was haunted by the past.

Past mistakes.

He took off his hat and slapped it against his leg before placing it on his head once again.

So many mistakes.

Simon, Joseph, and David were waiting on him when he made his way back up to the house. They sat in a cluster on the front porch, all huddled together as if the closeness of their bodies was a comfort in itself.

As he neared, Simon stood and wiped his hands down the sides of his pants. “
Dat
? Can we talk with you?”

Gabriel nodded. “Let’s go into the house and get some lemonade,
jah
? We can talk inside over a cool drink.”

For a moment he thought the
buwe
might protest, then Simon nodded and led the way into the house. Gabriel couldn’t help but notice how quiet the boys were as they poured the four glasses full of the lemonade. They were more solemn than he had ever seen them.

Something was up.

Once everyone was settled around the table, Simon spoke up once again. “We’re sorry,” he blurted out, tears filling his eyes.

“Sorry for what,
sohn
?”

“Samuel getting bit by the snake.”

Gabriel shook his head. “That is not your fault.”

Joseph nodded with David mimicking his every move. “
Jah
, it is too.”

“Rachel wasn’t going to let Samuel go down to the creek with us, but we begged and begged until she let him go,” Simon said.

“If we had listened to her the first time, then Samuel would have never been there to get snake bit,” Joseph finished.

“You don’t know that for certain.” But the boys had their minds made up.

“We have prayed and asked for God’s forgiveness. But we need yours too,
Dat
.”

A big hand squeezed his heart. “Of course, I forgive you.” There was nothing to forgive them for, but it seemed they needed to hear those words. It was one thing Gabriel could do for them.

“There’s more,” Simon said the words while studying his fingernails. “We made Rachel leave.”

Gabriel’s mouth went dry. “What do you mean?”

Tears splashed onto Simon’s fingers.

“Look at me,
sohn
, and tell me what you are talking about.”

Simon raised watery green eyes and met his father’s gaze. “We made Rachel leave. Oh,
Dat
, we’re so sorry, Matthew told us not to and—”

“
Halt
. What does Matthew have to do with this?”

Simon hiccupped. “Matthew told us to leave well enough alone, but we didn’t listen.”

Gabriel pinched the bridge of his nose. A pang of white light throbbed behind his eyelids. “What exactly did you do?”

“We made it hard for her.”

“Simon put a frog in a box under the bed,” Joseph accused.

“You turned the oven back up so the cookies would burn.”

“Well, you—”

“
Halt
!” Gabriel hollered once again. “This is not the time to be accusing each other.” He looked from Simon to Joseph, then on to David. “What part did you play in all of this?”

“None, really.”

“You didn’t let her goats loose or put a lizard in her bed?”

“
Nay, Dat
.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I didn’t stop them. I figure that’s as bad as doing it myself.”

Gabriel ruffled David’s dark hair. “That is a fine sentiment,
bu
. I’d tell you that next time you should speak up, but there had better be no next time.”

The boys nodded in unison.

“You may go.”

Chairs scraped as they got up from the table and prepared to take their leave.

“And boys . . .”

They turned toward him, relief and remorse still painting their faces. “Don’t think there won’t be repercussions for this. We’ll discuss a punishment after supper.”

Their shoulders sagged, but all knew better than to whine or protest. They tramped from the house, shutting the door quietly behind them as they left.

Gabriel stared down into the glass of lemonade in front of him. It seemed a lot had been going on in his house that he hadn’t been aware of. Rachel hadn’t let on the extent of their pranks, instead calling them “little things.” It seemed it wasn’t so little after all. Not if they felt they were responsible for her leaving.

But were they really to blame?
Jah
, she was terrified of anything that jumped, but that didn’t mean that she would turn tail and run if things got a little difficult.

Nay
, there had to be more to it than that.

21

O
ne month faded into the next. He had thought time and again about going after Rachel, but managed to make an excuse not to whenever the idea crept into his thoughts. She had written letters telling them how much she was enjoying getting to know her family in Ohio. Asking about Samuel and Baby Michelle. She never mentioned if she missed them, she never once wrote and asked about her goats. It looked to Gabriel as if she had moved on. Perhaps it was time for him to do the same.

His family slipped into a new sort of routine. Gabriel missed having Samuel at the house, but he understood. They all had to do what was right for Samuel and staying with his
grossdaadi
and
grossmammi
was the best thing for now. Still Gabriel looked forward to the time when he could bring his son home.

Simon had taken to caring for the goats, milking them twice a day and selling the milk to Plain folk and
Englischers
alike. Gabriel never knew that Simon cared about such things, but it was
gut
to see his
sohn
grow up and take initiative. Simon put all the money he earned into the fund to help pay for Samuel’s hospital bill and ensuing physical therapy costs.

“
Dat
?” Simon peeked his head around the barn door, hesitantly following it inside. “Can I talk to you for a while?”

Gabriel gave him a quick nod and continued stacking the bales of organic hay that Rachel fed her goats. Well, that Simon fed Rachel’s goats. “What is it?”

Simon shifted from one foot to the other. “It’s about Rachel.”

That got his attention. Gabriel stopped and turned to face his son. Hearing her name was like ice and fire. “
Jah
?” He propped one elbow onto the handle of the pitchfork and waited.

“I’m so sorry I made her leave.” His voice hitched on a sob.

Gabriel ignored the pang of longing in his gut. “Why would you do such a thing?”

He sniffed. “I was afraid for her to come here. I was afraid that she would take
Mamm’s
place and no one would remember her anymore.”

“Do you—” Gabriel coughed, unable to continue. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Do you really believe that I could look at you—or any of your
bruders
—and not see your
Mamm
there as plain as day?”

“I did.”

“And now?”

Simon shook his head. “
Nay
.”

Rebecca was his everything while she was alive. He could no more forget her than he could forget to pray. Just as the boys would never forget. And Rachel? A sigh escaped him. It would be a great long while before he could wake up and not find her first on his mind. Maybe when the sun fell out of the sky.

“I miss her.”

Gabriel gave a nod, not having to ask who Simon was talking about. He knew.

“I know she burned the cookies and the eggs . . . and the biscuits and, well, everything, but she was fun to have around.”

A lump of emotion clogged his throat, so Gabriel just grunted, hoping the sound passed for an answer. Rachel was fun to have around, though he never let himself admit it when she was.

“Are you ever going to go after her?” Simon asked.

“What?”

“I overheard Matthew telling John Paul that you should go after her. Are you?”

Maybe he should go after her, make her stand up, not be a coward, tell him to his face why she left by sneaking out in the middle of the afternoon, only leaving him a note.

Then again, he’d thought she’d’ve returned by now. Only her letters were any indication of what her life was like now. She seemed happy enough. She deserved to be happy. She deserved time spent with her own kin instead of the trials she had faced in Oklahoma.

“
Nay
,” he quietly replied. His heart thumped painfully with the decision. “I’ll not be going after her.”

Simon’s request was still ringing in his ears later that afternoon. As much as he tried to push them aside, the words kept coming back, echoing inside his head. They were still floating around when John Paul pulled his Ford into the driveway and honked the car’s horn.

“Good afternoon,
bruder
.”

Gabriel waved in return. He’d be glad when his brother settled down and got rid of the automobile. He was nearing on twenty years old, and soon it’d be time to bow before the church and pledge himself to God and the Amish way of life. Perhaps even in the next couple of months, if Bethany Weaver had anything to say about it.

To Gabriel’s surprise, Samuel scrambled out of the passenger’s seat and ran toward him, “
Dat! Dat! Dat
!” He threw his little arms around Gabriel as if he hadn’t seen him in months instead of only days.

His hand was healing nicely and though it pained Gabriel to look at it, the doctor said he’d be able to do most everything that he had done before the accident. Now when he saw Samuel, saw his maimed hand, all Gabriel could think about was how blessed they were, how fortunate at Rachel’s quick thinking.

“I’m taking Samuel in to the doctor. It’s time to get the bandages off. You want to ride along?”

He’d almost forgotten, or perhaps he’d pushed the thought from his mind because it, too, reminded him of Rachel.

Samuel raised his right hand still bandaged and growled. “We get to see my alien hand.”

The boy was definitely spending too much time with John Paul these days and his younger brother’s
rumspringa
seemed to be rubbing off on him.

Gabriel ruffled Samuel’s hair, wondering once again why God had blessed him with such a perfect child, maybe not in body and mind, but for sure in spirit. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“Nah,” Samuel said, slipping his good hand into John Paul’s. “Me and John Paul, we got this.”

He’d definitely been spending too much time with his young
onkel
.

Still Gabriel laughed. Samuel staying with family had been good for the
bu
, having his
grossmammi
and
onkel
at his beck and call had kept his missing Rachel to a minimum.