Garden of the Moon (23 page)

“A ghost? Ridiculous. There is no such thing as ghosts.”

“I’m afraid you’re wrong. Harrogate is haunted and not by just one ghost.” Sara was getting a perverse pleasure out of watching the outrage building in her mother. Her pleasure doubled when, out of the corner of her eye, she saw her father fighting to contain a smile. “There’s a woman and a man. Oh, and Gran comes from time to time as well.”

This was the end of the line for Sara. Either Patricia Wade would accept her daughter’s
affliction
as something real, or she would disown Sara completely and send her packing back to Harrogate. Sara didn’t care much one way or the other. She just wanted it done.

“So what was it Marie told you?” Her father leaned forward, eager to forestall the inevitable confrontation between Sara and her mother by asking to hear the recounting of her visit with the Voodoo Queen.

“Preston! Do not encourage this outrageous behavior.”

They both ignored her outburst.

“Actually, she didn’t tell me anything, except that Katherine…” She turned to her horrified mother. “That’s the female ghost.” Getting perverse pleasure from her mother’s horrified expression, Sara turned back to her father. “She said Katherine is evil, and I needed to be careful. She gave me this.” She held up the little bag again. “This will protect me.” Sara put the bag back in her pocket.

“Rubbish!” Her mother bolted to her feet. “I won’t stay here and listen to another word of this complete and utter nonsense, and I’ll thank you not to repeat it where the servants can hear it and peddle it all over the Garden District to my friends.” She stormed from the room, her skirts swishing angrily around her, her nose tilted into the air as though she smelled something putrid.

Preston and Sara watched Patricia’s departure, then turned back to each other as though the interruption had never occurred.

“Actually, I learned a great deal more at the Ursuline Convent from Sister Agnes.” She told her father the story of the Grayson twins. “If Katherine knew, it would explain why she hated Maddy so vehemently.”

Preston stood and walked to the sideboard beneath the bay windows. He took a pipe from the rack and then lifted the lid from a humidor and filled the pipe’s bowl with a fragrant tobacco. Then, still without speaking, he went to the fireplace and withdrew a piece of wood with a flame curling up on the end and lit the pipe. When it was glowing to his satisfaction, he threw the piece of wood back into the fire and retook his seat across from Sara.

“Word of something like that doesn’t die, even after years. I’m sure if it had leaked out, the story would have been told again and again. I never heard it, and your grandmother never mentioned it. So, my feeling is Katherine never knew either. However, if she had known that would have explained a lot.” He glanced at Sara and puffed thoughtfully on his pipe.

Sara had to smile. It wasn’t considered good manners for a gentleman to smoke with a lady in the room, but Sara had never minded. She loved the smell of her father’s pipe tobacco. Somehow, it always made her feel closer to him. Had her mother remained in the room, he never would have lit a pipe. That he did now made her realize again what a wonderful, relaxed relationship she had with him.

He cleared his throat and went on. “Her hatred of Maddy was so strong and unreasonable. According to your grandmother, no one really ever understood it. This explanation would certainly make sense.” He studied the glowing embers in the pipe’s bowl. “Mother always said Katherine had a very evil disposition.”

“Oh, she does, Father. She’s very evil.” Sara didn’t bother to recount the incidents when Katherine had shown just how evil she could be.

“And now, because Maddy had so much that she could never have, you seem to be after the one thing she had the power to keep from Maddy, Jonathan. Since you look like Maddy and have contacted Jonathan, she’s made you the object of her displeasure.”

Sara nodded. “That was my guess, too.” She remained silent for a few seconds. Dare she tell her father why she continued this duel of wills with Katherine? Deep in her heart, she knew he’d understand. “I won’t give him up to her, Papa. As insane as it sounds, I love Jonathan.”

Preston displayed none of the surprised Sara had expected to see. Instead, he looked very sad, but he nodded. “I know.” He took her hand, and looked deep into her eyes. “I want more than anything for you to be happy. If Jonathan is what it takes, then you have my blessing. But I will miss you terribly, my darling daughter.”

Miss her
?

What an odd thing to say. She wasn’t going anywhere except back to Harrogate. But the intensity of his emotions seemed so out of place simply for her return home. Sara stared at him. How very sad he looked. His sorrow seemed to blanket him like an impenetrable fog.

***

Sara spent the carriage ride back to Harrogate the next day thinking about her fathers’ strange words and what Sister Agnes had told her. What he’d said sounded so…final. Almost as though they would never see each other again. Was he ill and keeping it from her? He hadn’t looked ill. The idea of losing her father nearly broke her heart, so she pushed it from her mind, refusing to consider it.

Instead, she centered her thoughts on Sister Agnes. The amazement she’d experienced at the convent concerning the circumstances surrounding the sisters’ births still prayed heavily on her mind. Her father hadn’t really been able to shed more light on it. By telling him, she’d almost felt like she was betraying Sister Agnes’ trust by saying anything about it to anyone. But she knew he would keep the secret.

However, that the Grayson family had managed to keep their secret so well hidden for so long amazed Sara as much as it had her father. If nothing else, the servants should have known. They always knew what transpired within the walls of the big house and had no compulsions about sharing it with each other. Eventually the news had to reach the ears of the residents of the big house and those of neighboring planters.

And what about Floree? Had she known? Probably not. She’d only been five at the time of the births. She’d never said she was actually there when the babies were born, only that they were beautiful little girls and that the servant who had attended Mrs. Grayson had been sold to a man from Tennessee the next day. Probably to ensure she wouldn’t have a chance to tell anyone.

Had Katherine found out about herself? Was that why she hated Maddy so intensely? Sara decided that wasn’t probable, considering the lengths to which Mr. Grayson had gone to hide it. He never would have allowed Katherine to find out about her illegitimacy. Katherine’s hatred of Maddy had to be rooted in the fact that Mrs. Grayson resented raising her husband’s mistress’ child and as a result took it out on Katherine. Maddy had implied as much in her diary.

What a tangled web this whole thing had turned out to be, and Sara was no closer to untangling it than she had been at the start. If anything, it had grown more complicated. But maybe she wasn’t supposed to untangle anything.

Now that she’d had time to think about it, she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Sister Agnes was right. Perhaps she was fighting a losing battle. Perhaps she had irrevocably lost Jonathan a long time ago and reliving Maddy’s last days with him would do no more than allow her to go through the pain and agony of the tragedy of his death again.

Logically, the odds of her and Jonathan ever being together were very low, maybe even nonexistent. He was a ghost, and she was a mortal. Because of past events, she was destined to never feel his touch as a woman would that of her husband.

***

That night, exhausted from her long trip, Sara fell asleep quickly. But not for long. After what seemed like she only been asleep for a moment, she felt a hand caressing her cheek. Fighting eyelids that felt like they’d been weighted down with large, heavy rocks, she forced her eyes open. She blinked several times to focus.

When the sleep had cleared, she found Jonathan sitting beside her on the bed. His smile seemed to light up the room. She was instantly wide awake. Her heart swelled at the sight of him. “Jonathan?”

“I had to come. It’s been too long since you came to me.” He gently kissed her. “Are you sorry I came?”

“No.” She cupped his dear face in her hands. “Never. I’ve missed you.” How strange it was that he didn’t look at all ethereal, but rather as solid and mortal as she was. Sara could feel the firmness of his muscle and bone beneath her fingers.

He smiled, and she felt like hot wax all over. “Would you be scandalized if I told you I want you?”

Heat rose in her cheeks, and she was thankful for the darkness surrounding them. Words refused to pass her lips. She shook her head.

“Good, because I do. I ache with the wanting, my love.”

His lips slid across her collar bone, then on to her shoulder where he ran his tongue over the strange little mark that she’d been born with. He pulled away, then slid his hand down her throat and stopped just above the swell of her breast. He paused, his gaze fixed on hers, as though waiting for her permission to go farther. Taking his hand, she guided it down to cup her breast. He sucked in his breath. Smoky passion filled his dark eyes, then they heated with the desire that his touch told her boiled just below the surface of his deceptively calm body language.

“Are you sure?”

Sara pulled his head down and pressed her mouth to his, leaving no doubt as to her answer. Putting every bit of the pent up longing she had bottled up inside her into it, she kissed him. His mouth opened beneath hers, and he slipped his tongue inside, tasting her, devouring her, telling her his longing was as deep and as powerful as her own. His hands moved over her breasts, kneading, caressing, coaxing.

She couldn’t catch her breath. Her lungs burned. Her body ached with a new hunger that she couldn’t name, but that she knew had to be fed to ensure her survival. Of its own volition her back arched to press her even closer to him. His tense muscles strained against hers. She felt his arousal pressing against her leg.

This was insane, dangerous. She should stop him. But she could no more tell him no than she could stop the sun from rising. Needing to be closer to him, she kicked the covers aside and pulled him down beside her.

“I never thought that we…that I…that—”

He silenced her with his lips. It seemed like his hands were suddenly everywhere, stroking her breasts, caressing her thighs, smoothing her stomach. Exciting her to heights beyond anything she’d ever dreamed of before. This was nothing like the
woman’s duty
her mother and her friends had whispered about with such distaste. This was…

Oh, God, she couldn’t think.

Everywhere he touched new fires ignited in her body. The flames licking at her belly grew until she had to bite her tongue to keep from screaming and bringing everyone in the entire house down on them.

Then he pulled away. Sara cried out at the loss and reached for him. “No, don’t leave me.”

“I would never leave you.” He stood beside the bed his heated gaze never leaving her face. Very slowly, he took off his jacket, and then his waistcoat and threw them aside. Piece by piece his clothes disappeared until he stood before her like a beautiful bronze god.

Sara couldn’t speak. She could only stare at him, amazed at his arousal and a bit afraid. Though she wanted him desperately, she had never lain with a man before and had no idea what was expected of her. Sex was not something her prudish mother felt should be talked about. Sara often wondered how she came into being at all.

Jonathan returned to his place beside her, but he didn’t take her into his arms. Instead, he slowly peeled her nightdress up her body, over her head and then threw it to join his own clothes on the floor.

For a long moment he stared at her, his eyes burning pathways over her flesh. “My God, you are even lovelier than I’d imagined.”

In an almost worshipful manner, he ran the tips of his fingers over her collar and down to her breasts. She sucked in air at his touch. Never had she felt anything like the myriad of sensations rushing through her every nerve ending. The muscles in her stomach clenched. Her hands balled into fists. Sparks ignited behind her closed eyelids.

Then his hand traveled over her hip and across the V of hair at the apex of her thighs. Very tenderly, he stroked the heated flesh between her thighs. As his finger penetrated her, he covered her lips with his.

At first it hurt. She tried to cry out but the sound was lost inside his mouth. Then, as he stroked her faster and faster, the pain vanished and in its place came that strange, unfamiliar hunger again. This time it burned with an intensity that left her weak, unable to control her body movements. Surprised to find herself thrashing beneath his hands, she tried to stop, but her body seemed to have a mind of its own.

Her back arched. Her hands dug into the bunched muscles in his upper arms. Something was happening to her. Something she couldn’t control and, in all truth, didn’t want to. The hunger had increased until she thought she would die of it.

Then it happened. Lights burst behind her eyelids. Her body was no longer hers to control. She longed for these feelings to never end. But they did. Eventually, the cataclysmic rush eased away leaving her lethargic and drained.

Sara opened her eyes and looked up at Jonathan’s dear face. He was smiling down at her. “You’re ready for me now,” he whispered.

He moved so that his strong body covered hers and spread her knees with his. Then he settled in the cradle of her parted legs. She felt something hard nudge her there. Suddenly, he was filling her and the pain came back, worse this time. She dug her nails into his back to keep from crying out. It seared through her thighs like a hot poker.

He paused, waited, then moved very slowly. Then, like magic, the pain was gone and had been replaced by an incredible hunger much stronger than anything she’d felt before. He began to move faster. She matched his rhythm as if she’d known what to do all along. Barely aware that the covers had slipped to the floor, Sara wrapped her legs around his hips and opened herself fully to his love.