Gaslight Grimoire: Fantastic Tales of Sherlock Holmes (39 page)

“I say, Stent, is that the sick squid you owe me?” brayed one wit.

“Here here,” shouted a vocal clique of Arronax supporters. “A squid, a squid!”

Stent’s world was collapsing. He knew not what to say. His mouth opened and closed, but no words issued forth. I saw he was desperate for an infusion of Dr. Tirmoary’s — damn fine stuff, let me tell you, though even I would caution against excessive use. The Astronomer Royal pressed his fists to his temples as if to shut out the catcalls and retreat into his own ‘sunnar system’. There, many-limbed things crawled across the sands of Mars, intent on climbing into three-legged suits of armor, hurling themselves at the Earth to subjugate humanity for food and amusement.

Moriarty’s facial tendons were tight as leather drumskin dried in the sun, making his face a skull-mask rictus of glee. His eyes lit up like Chinese lanterns. I’d wager every muscle in the old ascetic’s stringy body was tight with sordid pleasure. He got like that when he had his way. Other fellahs might pop a bottle of fizz or nip down to Mrs. H’s for a turn with a trollop, but the Professor just went into these brain-spasms of evil ecstasy.

Huxley left the hall in disgust, followed by a dignified procession. Some of his colleagues, perhaps pettier, stayed to jeer. The draper’s clerk poked his head in, and asked if he’d missed anything.

“Wait, don’t leave,” said Stent, vainly. He viciously pressed a stud on his copper-tube. No one caught fire. “There’s danger in disbelief. The Marsians are coming! You fools, you must listen. If you don’t support me, you’re next! They’re here! The Marsians are among us!”

At that moment, Moriarty gave a signal.

Our people stood up in their seats — one or two were stationed ‘backstage’ — and lobbed struggling missiles at Stent. Out of water, the squid didn’t last long — but they fought hard, as Polly and I can bear witness, getting tentacles around something convenient and squeezing madly while internal pressure blew them up like balloons. It was a sight to see, but most of the paying customers were gone.

A volley of squid fell upon Stent. He yelled and slipped, knocking over the lectern. Tentacles wound around his legs, his waist, one hand. A squid fixed to his lower face like a mask, beak thrust into his mouth in a ghastly kiss, shutting off his screams. Plastered with
vampyroteuthis
, he threw a full-on fit, back arching, limbs twitching. Eventually, attendants came and pried burst, dead creatures off him.

Arronax tried to lodge a protest at this mistreatment of rare specimens, but slipped into French to do it and was properly ignored. There are idiot Englishwomen (of both sexes) who would be generally happier to see children whipped, starved, laughed at, shot and mounted in the Moran den than brook any abuse of their ‘furry or feathered friends’ — but it was a rare crank, like Pop-eyed Pierre, who gave two hoots for anything with tentacles and a beak.

With all our wriggling shots fired, the Professor gave the nod — and our picked men melted into the crowds, well-paid and frankly little the wiser for tonight’s business. When Moriarty handed over coin and told you to bowl a squid at an astronomer, your wisest course was to ask ‘over-arm or round-arm?’ and get on with play.

As his arms were slipped into a strait-waistcoat, Stent begged for an infusion of Dr. T’s. He had the shakes, the sweats and the abdabs at the same time. All his strings were cut.

It so happened that the director of Purfleet Asylum — a far less pleasing official residence than Flamsteed — was in the audience, and well-positioned to take the babbling madman off Lady Caroline’s hands. I think she had papers already drawn up, assuming control of all Sir Nevil’s estates and monies. Being the second daughter of an Earl doesn’t come with much ready cash, but getting hold of the Stent fortune would do her for a while. I made a note to look her up.

The Astronomer Royal was carried from Burlington House, strapped to a stretcher.

We lingered in the imposing hallway, lined with portraits of past presidents. The attendants paused for a moment. Moriarty leaned over his now-broken nemesis.

Stent’s eyes rolled upwards. His cheeks were striped red and dotted with horribly familiar sucker marks. He tried to focus on the face looming over him, the thin-lipped leering countenance of the author of The Dynamics of an Asteroid.

“I have, I think, made my point,” said Professor Moriarty. “And you, Stent, have finally learned your lesson.”

Editors

J. R. Campbell is an occasional presence tolerated by the eminent Sherlockians of Calgary’s Singular Society of the Baker Street Dozen, where he is considered something of a dilettante. Despite this he has managed to co-edit two previous anthologies of Sherlock Holmes mysteries, Curious Incidents and Curious Incidents 2 as well as providing the great detective a chance to fill his pipe on Imagination Theater’s radio series The Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. He lives in Calgary with his wife and three children, none of whom are impressed by his acquaintance with Sherlock Holmes. Quite correctly, they point out writing about someone clever and observant does not make the writer clever nor observant.

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Charles V. Prepolec is co-editor of two previous Sherlock Holmes anthologies Curious Incidents Vols. 1 & 2 and has contributed articles and reviews to All Hallows, Sherlock Magazine, Scarlet Street, Canadian Holmes, and his website www.bakerstreetdozen.com. An active Sherlockian for more than 20 years with Calgary’s The Singular Society of the Baker Street Dozen, he was designated a Master Bootmaker in 2006 by the Bootmaker’s of Toronto — Canada’s national Sherlock Holmes Society. He lives in Calgary, AB, Canada with his wife Kristen and their cat Karma.

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Artists

Timothy Lantz is a full-time illustrator and graphic artist with degrees in art education and communications. During his career, Lantz’s work has included such far-flung projects as weather maps, television commercials, book covers and tarot cards. He is the author and artist of The Archeon Tarot, available from U. S. Games Systems Inc. You can find more of his work on his website, www.stygiandarkness.com

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Phil Cornell was born in Sydney, Australia in 1954. He first came into contact with Sherlock Holmes at the age of ten when given an anthology containing ‘The Speckled Band.’ The infection was instant and incurable. He lives in Sydney with his twelve year old son, two cats and more Sherlockian books and videos than can comfortably fit in a fairly small home. He holds the position of “Expedition Artist” in The Sydney Passengers Sherlock Holmes Society. He is also a member of The Unscrupulous Rascals of South Australia and The Sherlock Holmes Society of London. He works as a commercial artist.

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Authors

Peter Calamai, a journalist for more than four decades as a reporter, foreign correspondent and editor (winner of four National Newspaper Awards), is an enthusiastic Sherlockian. The author of numerous pastiches and scholarly Sherlockian and Doylean articles, he is a Master Bootmaker and invested in The Baker Street Irregulars as “The Leeds Mercury,” befitting his special interest in Late Victorian newspapers. He lives in Ottawa.

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J. R. Campbell’s fiction has appeared in a wide variety fo publications including Spinetingler Magazine, Wax Romantic and Challenging Destiny. He has also contributed to various anthologies including Bone Ballet and Fantastical Visions IV. His work can also be heard on radio’s Imagination Theater (jimfrenchproductions.com)

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David Stuart Davies is a playwright and the author of five Sherlock Holmes pastiches. His survey of the detective’s screen career Starring Sherlock Holmes was published by Titan in 2007. He is the former editor of Sherlock magazine and currently edits Red Herrings for the Crime Writer’s Association and serves as general editor of the Wordsworth Mystery and Supernatural series. His latest Johnny One-Eye mystery Without Conscience was published in March of 2008. www.davidstuartdavies.com

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M. J. Elliott’s writing credits include episodes of many US radio series. Among the collections he has edited for Wordsworth Publications are several volumes of stories by H. P. Lovecraft and Robert E. Howard. On the lighter side, Matthew has lent his voice and writing talents to the Rifftrax website, masterminded by the makers of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

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Since publishing her first fantasy novel, The Time of the Dark, Barbara Hambly has published more than 40 novels. Although she’s written across many genres, her work displays a special fondness for both fantasy and historical mysteries. A Guest of Honor at the 2008 World Fantasy Convention, Barbara’s recent projects include Renfield: Slave of Dracula and the historical Patriot Hearts.

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Since 1979, Chico Kidd’s stories have been published in the UK, the USA, Canada, Australia and Europe. Her first novel, The Printer’s Devil, came out in 1996. First hardback anthology: Summoning Knells (2000). Chico’s and Rick Kennett’s collection No 472 Cheyne Walk was published in 2002. Since 2000 she has been busy with the Da Silva sequence of novels and stories. The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror 13 and Dark Terrors 6 featured three between them. Others have appeared in Supernatural Tales, Acquainted with the Night and elsewhere.

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Rick Kennett is a resident of Melbourne, Australia, and works in the transport industry. His ghost stories have appeared in many magazines and anthologies. He’s co-author with Chico Kidd of 472 Cheyne Walk: Carnacki, the Untold Stories (Ash Tree Press 2002). His hobbies include naval history and wandering cemeteries (necrotourism).

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Bob Madison is the editor of Dracula: The First Hundred Years, published in 1997, and the author of the kid-oriented American Horror Writers (2000). He has also written for Wonder Magazine, Cult Movies and The Dinosaur Times. He has appeared on WABC-TV’s Good Morning America, WOR’s Joey Reynolds Show and WABC’s Morning News, among others, and DVD documentaries for the classic movie versions of Frankenstein, The Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula and Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.

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Kim Newman is a novelist, critic and broadcaster. His fiction includes Anno Dracula, Life’s Lottery and The Man From the Diogenes Club. His non-fiction includes Nightmare Movies, Horror: 100 Best Books and BFI Classics studies
of Cat People and Doctor Who. He is a contributing editor to Sight & Sound and Empire. His website is at johnnyalucard.com.

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Martin Powell is the author of the Eisner nominated Sherlock Holmes/Dracula adventure, Scarlet in Gaslight. Although he has returned to the character many other times, Powell considers Sherlock Holmes in the Lost World, contained in this volume, as his personal favorite among his own stories featuring the Great Detective.

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Chris Roberson’s novels include Here, There & Everywhere, The Voyage of Night Shining White, Paragaea: A Planetary Romance, X-Men: The Return, Set the Seas on Fire, The Dragon’s Nine Sons, Iron Jaw and Hummingbird, End of the Century, and Three Unbroken. Along with his business partner and spouse Allison Baker, he is the publisher of MonkeyBrain Books, an independent publishing house specializing in genre fiction and nonfiction genre studies. Visit him online at www.chrisroberson.net.

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Barbara Roden is one-half of the World Fantasy Award-winning Ash-Tree Press, and co-edits All Hallows, the journal of the Ghost Story Society. She is a longstanding member of the Bootmakers of Toronto, and in 2005 was investitured in the Baker Street Irregulars as “Beryl Stapleton”.

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Christopher Sequeira has written for The Passengers Log — the journal of The Sydney Passengers — Sherlock Holmes Society of Australia. He’s also worked on scripts for international comic-book publishers including DC Comics and Marvel Entertainment and had horror and mystery stories appear in a range of publications.

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Gaslight Grimoire

Fantastic Tales of Sherlock Holmes

Copyright © 2008
All individual contributions copyright by their respective authors.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Published by

Edge Science Fiction
and Fantasy Publishing

An Imprint of

HADES PUBLICATIONS, INC.

P.O. Box 1714,
Calgary, Alberta, T2P 2L7,
Canada

Edited by J.R. Campbell & Charles Prepolec
Cover Illustration by Timothy Lantz
Interior Illustrations by Phil Cornell
Photographer: Tom Cullis

e Book ISBN: 978-1-894063-69-2

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All rights reserved. Under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to

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EDGE Science Fiction and Fantasy Publishing and Hades Publications, Inc. acknowledges the ongoing support of the Alberta Foundation for the Arts and the Canada Council for the Arts.

(P-20080909)

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