Gateway (The Gateway Trilogy, Book 1) (21 page)

“They should have never let you leave in the first place,” Taren said, his eyes darkening.

“Annys and Master Dogan were doing me a favor to let me come home. They couldn't have known I’d be in any danger.”

The set of Taren's jaw made me think he was holding something back. I probed further.

“What happened, anyway?” I asked. “Why did you fight with Annys? And how long are you suspended for?”

“I wish I knew. Once she cut me I didn't stick around to find out. As to why… I guess it's because Annys is being Annys. Which is usually a good thing, but lately we haven't seen eye to eye on much.”

I thought about going up against Annys and knew I'd probably never manage it. Remembering how dangerous Taren had looked when confronting Kat, I believed he had.

“Heads up,” Kat said. She was balancing three sodas and a bag of chips.

I jumped up to help her, disappointed that I hadn't gotten the chance to learn more before she'd returned.

***

Lucky Strike closed at two, and by the time we got to the car and made it back to where Kat was parked at the club, we were on track for our three a.m. target. I prayed my mom had finished her frenzy and was asleep. Taren pulled up beside Kat's car and let the engine idle.

“I'm going to follow you home,” he said, “just to make sure you get there safe. After that, your mother's detail can take over.”

“Em, would you mind riding with Taren,” Kat said as she opened her door. “I'm going to give Magda a call and I could use some privacy.”

The move was transparent and I didn't help matters by responding, “sure,” just a little too quickly.

Once Kat was safely in her car, Taren and I pulled away. We rode in silence until I couldn't stand it anymore, the words coming out in a rush.

“Why would it be easier if I thought you didn't like me?” I asked.

His brow furrowed.

“Because I'm afraid one of us is going to get hurt,” he said, “and I don't want that to happen.”

“Why would one of us get hurt?” I asked, sensing he meant more than just typical guy-girl stuff.

“Because there are things going on,” he said, “things I can't talk with you about. Not yet.”

He came to a stop in front of my apartment building. I wished we still had longer to drive.

“Why not? I haven't blabbed any of the other million secrets I'm keeping.”

“It's not you I don't trust,” he said.

“Then what—”

“Please, Ember, can we just leave it for now?” His voice was pleading and he put his hand to my cheek. “I'm not sorry I kissed you. I wish I'd done it sooner. But I need you to trust me. Can you do that for just a little while longer?”

I responded by leaning in and touching my lips to his. A spark of electricity passed between us and I don't think I was the only one who trembled.

She'll never forgive me.

I pulled back with a start. It wasn't the Demon.

“What?” Taren said. “What is it?”

I shook my head to clear it. “I-I don't know, I heard something when we kissed. It wasn't the Demon, it was… something else.”

“Maybe you're starting to hear the other demonic voices,” he said. “What did it say?”

“It said, 'She'll never forgive me.'“

Taren's eyes widened briefly but his voice was calm when he said, “I'm sure it was nothing. All kinds of weird things run through my brain.”

I wasn't convinced. It hadn't sounded like an errant thought, it had sounded like a voice speaking inside my mind. Maybe he was right and I was beginning to hear the other demons now. It was an unsettling thought.

By this time Kat had parked and was waiting in the driveway.

“I should go,” I said and opened the door. “And to answer your question, yes, I can trust you a while longer.”

I smiled at him, and he smiled back, but it seemed forced, like his mind was already on something else.

“Get some sleep if you can,” he said, “and I'll see you back at the Institute tomorrow afternoon. Annys and I have some things to discuss.”

***

Kat and I paused at my front door. The lights were off and all was quiet. I breathed a sigh of relief as I pulled my keys from my purse. Once inside, I left the lights off. Kat grabbed her blanket from the sofa and began to follow me upstairs.

“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

“I'm sleeping on the floor of your bedroom. If anything happens, I'm going to be there this time.”

The glint in her eye told me not to argue, and I had to admit, it would make me feel safer.

“Thanks,” I said.

We crept upstairs together.

The next morning I woke before Kat did. In truth I hadn't really slept, more like dozed. Whether shaken because of the attack or the new demon popping into my head, I felt more comfortable being awake enough to not be caught off guard, by an intruder or a voice.

I stepped carefully over Kat and made my way downstairs. No coffee smell this morning. I wasn't surprised, just sad. I pulled the grounds from the freezer and brewed a pot in the now immaculate coffee maker. The whole place was spotless. The grout gleamed, the stove sparkled, and a faint smell of bleach hung in the air. I entered the living room to find that the furniture had been rearranged. I liked it. I picked up a pillow and gave it a shake—no cloud of dust this time. I set it back down, making sure to leave it as perfectly placed as I'd found it. I went to the pathos plant in the corner. She'd wiped down each one of the leaves and trimmed the yellow ones. Small wonder she was still sleeping.

Back in the kitchen I made myself some cereal. I didn't want to wait any longer for coffee so I held my mug underneath the stream and let it fill before setting the pot back in its place.

I was munching corn flakes when what sounded like a herd of elephants came down the stairs, and Kat burst into the kitchen.

“Do not do that to me again,” she said, stopping short when she saw me. “You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I was hungry and it looked like you were going to sleep for awhile.”

“You move, I move,” she said, grabbing a mug from the cupboard. “That's how this is going to work until I get you safely back to the Institute.”

“Got it,” I said.

“How's your mom doing?” she asked.

“I'm not sure yet. If history is any indication, she'll probably spend most of the day in bed. After that… if she stays off of her meds, things will only get worse.”

I knew my tone was matter-of-fact, and it wasn't that I didn't care, I had just seen it all before. There were only so many times I could get my hopes up. Still, I was grateful for the good time we'd had the day before, and glad Kat had seen her that way, and not just the other.

It was after eleven and I was expected back at the Institute by one. When we’d finished breakfast, Kat and I worked on packing. She was concerned with clothing, I was more concerned with art supplies, books, and finding my iPod. Kat informed me that until I was second year I wouldn't be allowed to bring my cell phone and to be prepared to have my bags searched once I got back. First year students were considered too fragile to have unregulated contact with the outside world. By the time we'd filled my oversized duffle and a backpack, it was time to leave.

After we loaded my things into the car, I went back inside to say goodbye to my mother. I knew she wouldn't want to see Kat right now, and Kat seemed to understand.
I knocked, but when there was no answer, I entered my mother's room. She was snoring softly. She'd passed out, fully clothed on top of her comforter.

“Hey, Mom” I said, kneeling beside her bed, “it's time for me to get going.”

Her eyes fluttered open. “So soon? Can't you stay another day?” Her voice was husky with sleep.

“No, I'm sorry. But I'll come back soon.” I felt guilty making a promise I wasn't sure I could keep, but I wanted to avoid a scene.

She groped until she found my hand and squeezed it. “I can call them, the people at the Institute. I'll tell them I'll bring you back tomorrow. What's one day?”

I shook my head. “I've got to go, Mom. I love you.”

“Please don't leave me,” she said, her voice cracking. “If you leave you're not ever coming back. I need you, Em.”

She did. I knew she did. But I also knew the Institute needed me. And not for selfish reasons, but because together we needed to find a way to lock the Gateway again, lest the world be overrun by demons. The breaches would only get worse; when I connected to the Gate I had sensed how weak it was. It was only a matter of time before it failed completely. I couldn't let that happen, even if it meant breaking my mother's heart in order to save her life.

I pulled my hand away. “I'm going, Mom. I love you, but I'm going.”

I stood and walked to the door. Her sobs were quiet, each one pricking my heart. I imagined her face buried in the pillow, but I didn't turn back. I shut the door behind me.

***

By the time I got into the car I'd wiped my eyes of tears, but they felt puffy. I'm sure Kat could sense I wasn't up for conversation and we made the drive back to the Institute in relative silence.

Winding up Laurel Canyon I was focused on nothing but keeping out the voices and the motion sickness. For the most part it worked, and as we approached the front gate I felt proud of myself.

Three Guardians stepped in front of Kat's car as we approached the guard shack. All looked worse for the wear.

“Where have you been, Kat?” one of them asked when he recognized her. “We needed you last night.”

“What happened? Was there another breach?” Her tone was anxious.

“During the ritual. Why weren't you here?” the Guardian answered.

“What ritual? What are you talking about?” Kat sounded as confused as I felt.

“To re-seal the Gateway. The Elders called upon every Keeper, every Guardian, and every student to help. Word went out at dinner. Everyone was there except you and Taren. And her, I guess.” He pointed to me and a chill ran down my spine.

My mind raced with thoughts faster than I could pluck them out of the air. I'd spoken with Annys and Master Dogan around two, was it possible it hadn't been planned yet? If so, why wouldn't they have called us back?

“Who was hurt? Did we lose anyone?” Kat asked.

“With so many Guardians there, we didn't lose anyone, but dozens were injured. At least three-dozen more hostiles escaped and the Gate is in worse shape than ever. You really didn't know about this?”

“If I had known, don't you think I'd have been here, Adam?”

She slapped the steering wheel and cursed.

A conclusion was solidifying in my mind, making it impossible to think there was any explanation other than Annys and Master Dogan not wanting me present at this ritual. It made no sense. I was their best chance at repairing the Gateway; they themselves had told me as much. Why was I training so hard, otherwise? Why was I leaving my mother to cry alone if I was just going to be pushed aside? Anger welled up from deep within me and I clenched and unclenched my fists. I pulled on the door handle and strode out of the car.

“Ember, where are you going?” I heard Kat jump out the car, heard her footsteps behind me.

“I'm going to talk to some Elders,” I said, quickening my pace.

Perhaps we should talk first.

I'll deal with you later, I told the Voice, pushing it aside.

Wrong.

I was falling, tumbling through endless darkness, being pulled by a force stronger than gravity. Just when I was sure I would fall forever I landed, face down, the impact reverberating through me. It took a moment before I could move. Was my back broken? I was sure my cheek had shattered. But when I was able to lift my head and probe it with my fingertips it seemed intact. I struggled to sit back on my heels.

I was in a dark wasteland, the only light an eerie glow that filtered through the blackest clouds I'd ever seen. Wind whipped at my hair and blew an acrid smoke into my nostrils that made me double over in a fit of coughing. It subsided only to be replaced by retching. What came up wasn't the cereal I'd eaten for breakfast but a tar-black slime that continued to coat my mouth no matter how much I spit. It tasted how I imagined a rotting corpse would smell. A scream ripped through the landscape followed by a crunch that sounded like bones and I turned, wild-eyed, searching for a place to hide.

BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT? YOU CAN SEE WHY I AM SO DESPERATE TO LEAVE.

The Voice crushed down upon my mind, allowing no other thought. I clutched at my temples, panting. Time passed differently in this dimension and I had no way of knowing how long I'd really been here. Was Kat already racing to find someone to do a Retrieval or had I not even collapsed to the ground yet in the human dimension?