Gavin: Pure Passion (Hamptons Book 1) (25 page)

“Good God,” Mike exclaims as he looks down at me.

“Ms. Dubois?” the EMT says.

I look at him with my one eye that’s not quite swollen shut.

“I’ll be giving you a painkiller now, which is probably going to make you tired, but please try your very best to stay awake, OK?”

“’Kay.” My jaw feels like it’s been knocked from its joint.

“Lane?” Gavin asks. “I want to be with her, goddammit, let me go to her!”

I shut my eyes as I feel the redeeming stab of a needle in my arm. Not much longer and I won’t feel the pain anymore.

“Lane?” Gavin repeats, worried.

“You need to move over, sir, we have to bring her into the ambulance.”

“Can I come? She’s my girlfriend,” Gavin explains.

“Of course,” the EMT replies.

“Which hospital are you bringing her to?” somebody else I can’t recognize in the mixed-up jumble of voices asks. The answer is so quiet I can’t understand it. Then they move the stretcher, and after some bumping around, I find myself inside the ambulance.

I wake up in a room and look around. After gingerly touching it, I note that my left eye is swollen shut. There’s a tube stuck in my hand, maybe for sedatives, and at the edge of my vision I can make out something white, which probably is a cast on my nose.

“Lane?”

I turn my head and look at Pax. What’s he doing here? Did he come to Miami just for me? “Hey,” I say quietly. “Where . . . ?”

“After your father insisted, they relocated you to Southampton Hospital,” he explains.

“When?”

Pax slides closer with his chair. “You arrived yesterday.” He sighs. “You should have gone to the police.”

“I . . .”

“Stop overexerting yourself.”

I take a deep breath, which I can only manage through my mouth. “Where’s Gavin?”

“No idea. When he arrived here your father nearly tore his head off. I’m guessing he’s out taking care of something to do with the incident.” He gently strokes my hair. “You always seem to get into trouble.”

“I didn’t know . . . they’d show up there.”

“You shouldn’t have left the club on your own. Gavin told me what happened, and he regrets that he hassled you like that. Your brother nearly tore him apart, too.”

“Why?”

“Because Etienne thinks Gavin shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“I was just going to freshen up a bit, but then Macey called.” I look around. “Does this bed move so I can sit up, somehow?”

Pax gropes around next to the bed and finds a remote control. “Say stop.”

I nod gingerly.

The bed whirs, and when I’m halfway upright, I say, “Stop. Hey, do you know if I’ll still . . . be able to dance? They kicked my knee really hard.”

He inclines his head, observing me. “I didn’t hear them say anything. Can you move your leg at all?”

I pull both of them closer and hiss with the pain that comes shooting up through my right leg. “Ow.”

“Should I call a doctor?”

I shake my head. “No. I’ll just ask about it when they arrive.”

The door opens and I turn my head. Gavin and Jayden enter the room. “Oh, good, you’re awake,” Jayden says, wearing white scrubs. “How are you feeling?”

“A bit roughed up,” I reply.

He squeezes his lips into a thin line. “I’d say you’re making it sound more harmless than it is.” His gaze is stuck to a file, probably mine, and he jots something down.

“Will I still be able to dance?”

“Luckily, your knee only has a big, swollen hematoma, so you should still be able to continue your job,” Jayden answers. “You were pretty lucky under the circumstances.”

Gavin sits down on the edge of my bed and lays his hand on mine, but I pull it back. I don’t know why, maybe a protective instinct, because all this only happened because we fell in love. “When can I go home?”

“In a few days.”

“I backed out of the show and gave an interview, because they published a clip about the attack on you on the Internet,” Gavin says. “Joel’s seeing to it that you’ll be paid anyway, so you won’t lose any money.”

I sigh. “Thank you.”

“We need to inform the police, since this was an actual mugging. We already did in Miami . . . but since you weren’t responsive, the local police here will take your statement,” Jayden explains.

“OK.”

“I should notify them soon that you’re awake so they can do their job.”

Gavin clears his throat. “Did you see those people clearly?”

“Yeah, but I can’t remember them very well. I only know that one of them was blonde with an eyebrow piercing. The other two were brunettes, one of them had a nose ring, the other one was wearing a pretty freaky shirt.”

“Can you remember anything else?” Jayden asks.

I shrug slightly. “Not really.”

“Did they call each other by their names?”

“I can’t remember.”

He exhales slowly. “That’s like finding a needle in a haystack.”

“Yeah, but even that can eventually be found,” Gavin grumbles.

Pax gets up. “I need to get back to the shop. Let me know if you need anything, Lane.”

“OK,” I reply, closing my good eye as he leans over me to give me a kiss on the forehead. I can hear Gavin’s growl as Pax briefly presses his lips against my skin, but I ignore him. I’ve known Pax for an eternity, and I’m sure not going to stop him if he wants to give me a kiss good-bye.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone now,” Jayden tells us. “See you, Lane.”

“Yeah, see you,” I reply, smiling at him, which probably looks awful with my split lip. They leave us alone and I turn my head to look at Gavin. “You don’t have to stay here.”

“But I want to,” he replies quietly, sliding forward in his chair. Then he lays his hand on mine. “I’m so sorry.”

“Gavin, I . . .”

He looks into my eyes, or at least into my good one. His look betrays the reproaches he’s throwing at himself. “What do you want to tell me?” he asks quietly.

My heart contracts in my chest, but it’s just safer if we’re apart. Safer for me and better for him. “I . . . This isn’t easy for me, but . . .”

“No, don’t leave me, Lane.”

“It’s better that way,” I whisper.

“Why? I love you, you love me. We can’t let those people tear us apart. That’s just what they want!” His voice rises with desperation. The tone hurts me deep inside.

“I don’t want something like this to happen again. You’re . . . a wonderful guy, but . . . this won’t work. I thought I could do this, but I can’t. Being your girlfriend is too hard, and I don’t want to . . . You know, Brooke . . .”

“You’re not going to kill yourself. I’m with you, Lane, I swear to you. I’ll never leave you alone. I’m not Jonah, who left you hanging in a difficult phase,” he tells me urgently.

“But I’m not strong enough to be your girlfriend,” I reply, about to cry. My vision becomes blurry and distorted from the tears.

“Then I’ll be strong enough for both of us, but you can’t leave me. You’re the first girl since Meredith who won my heart. I don’t want to be without you anymore!”

I take a deep breath. “Please leave, and . . . don’t come back.”

Gavin bites his lip as he gets up. “I won’t just give you up. Let this be a warning or a promise, but I will fight for you.” Then he leaves me alone.

I let the tears flow as soon as he’s gone. I turn slowly onto my side and curl up into a fetal position. All my emotions, the frustration, the pain, and the fear break out of me. I purposely lie with my back to the door so nobody outside can see how I’m feeling. I don’t want them to look at me; I hate crying in front of people.

Chapter 16

Two weeks later

I’m sitting on the chaise longue in my parents’ library. In my hands I’m holding a book that my brother handed me. He’s sitting across from me in an armchair and regards me with his blue eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful,” I respond quietly. I haven’t seen Gavin or any of the other guys in over a week. Only Jayden, because he’s my doctor.

After I broke up with him, Gavin came by two more times to ask how I was. The encounter with my family went smoothly, although I could see my father still would have liked to shred him to pieces.

“Why did you break up with him? Because Dad said he isn’t good for you?” he presses.

I shake my head. “Because it’s safer for me.”

“What do you mean, Maddy?” Etienne’s the only one who calls me Maddy, probably to stand out from others.

“I’m scared those people will make good on their threat of killing me next time. I . . . want Gavin to live happily and freely, not for him to constantly worry about me.”

“That has to be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” my brother tells me, appalled.

I look at him with a raised eyebrow. Meanwhile I can fully open my other eye again. The video was in the media, and last weekend they stated on the dance show that Gavin and I wouldn’t be taking part anymore, because he’s backing out after the attack on me.

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you love that guy. I don’t see why, but you do, and you shouldn’t throw everything away because of a few jealous idiots that threaten you. Sure, they attacked you, and yeah, you were lucky you can still do your job, but you shouldn’t deny yourself love. And I’m positive your feelings for him are far stronger than the ones you had for Jonah!” he tells me firmly.

“Huh . . . How would you know?”

“Because I’ve been hearing you cry for an entire week now. When things ended with Jonah you didn’t even cry, you just stuffed your face with chocolate, is what Macey told me when she was at the hospital.”

“Macey doesn’t even know . . .”

“I don’t give a damn. Either you get your shit back together, or I’m taking you with me to see Gavin McLeod and I’m arranging a shotgun wedding!” he growls at me.

“Etienne, the times in which you could forcibly marry off women are pretty long past,” I say.

My brother’s practically tearing his hair out. “Maddy!”

I slump down against the back of my chair, opening the book.
Dracula?
The title is written as a question.

I turn the page. The next one says,
No, not
Dracula
. It’s Gavin McLeod’s song “Why Did You Leave Me?”

“Oh, no way,” I exclaim, turning another page.

Madeleine Dubois, twenty-two years old and the love of my life . . . Relationship status? Now probably single again. Character traits: 100 percent wonderful, a little bit dirty, sarcastic, loving; she’s just perfect!

“Did he ask you to do this?” I say to Etienne, who looks at me innocently.

“What do you mean?”

I turn over the book to show him; there are no printed letters, only handwriting. “This right here!”

He clears his throat. “Did you hear? Dad called me!” With those words he gets up and flees from the library.

“You filthy traitor!” I yell after him, laughing, and look back at the book.
Please turn page
is written at the bottom of the page. I do and see a black-and-white photograph of one of our dances.
Don’t look at it too long, there’s more on the next page.
I turn it with a smile.

Dear Lane,

You left me, but I’m not accepting that. You’re the most wonderful woman I’ve ever known. You awaken feelings in me I could never have dreamed of, but also a fear I never knew before. I’m sorry for what happened, but am I really the culprit? I should have taken the threats more seriously and shouldn’t have bothered you on that evening at the club. I know what happened to you is my fault, but doesn’t everybody deserve a second chance?

I love the world of literature, and I’ve visited Middle-earth, Shadow World, Ravencroft, Anwyl, and many others, but the most beautiful world I’ve ever been in was yours. I want to live in that world and love you. If you’d give me another chance, you’d make me the happiest man alive. I know I’m not perfect, I’ll probably never be, but with you I’m pretty close. In such a short time you became the most important person in my life, there’s nobody I can talk to like you. I love reading to you; I love the way you look when you wake up in the morning; and I love the feeling of holding you in my arms.

If I somehow managed to convince you with these words, I’ll be waiting for you today at six p.m. on the beach (near Ryker’s Bar, Pax told me where).

Please don’t make me look like a complete idiot by not coming. Please don’t break my heart, Lane, I only have one.

I love you,

Gavin

P.S. Your brother said he’d bring you so you don’t have to go out on your own.

I keep leafing through the book until I find some song lyrics. “Lane’s Song,” it’s called. I read the first few lines of the song and sigh. I don’t have a melody to go with it, since I’ve never heard the song before. I glance at the clock. It’s four thirty p.m.
Should I go meet him or not?
I wonder. “Etienne!” I call out.

“Yeah?” he replies, entering the room. He can’t have been that far away, then.

“Could you bring me to the beach?”

“Sure. When?”

“So I’m there at six.”

“Sure thing, do you want to get dressed first? I don’t think sweats are particularly romantic.”

I pull out the pillow from behind my back and throw it at him, but he dodges it, laughing. Then I get up and hurry into my room. “Mom!” I yell. She absolutely has to help me with my outfit.

I can hear her heels rapidly clicking up the stairs. “What is it?” she asks, bursting into my bedroom.

“What should I wear? Gavin’s . . . waiting for me on the beach.”

Mom looks nonplussed. “Are you crazy, yelling around like that because you need an outfit?”

“A bit, maybe,” I reply innocently. “So what should I wear?”

“How about your white summer dress? The one with the bell sleeves.” She pulls it out of my closet. It used to be part of a Halloween costume that I wore when I was sixteen. I’d dressed up as an angel. “And I suppose I could do your hair.”

“No need, thanks. All I need now is matching shoes.”

Mom bends down, pulling a pair of white flats out of the bottom of the closet. “How about these?”

“OK.” I pull off my sweats and slip into the dress.

“If I were you, I’d put on a white bra, the black one shines through,” she tells me with a chuckle.

I look down at myself. “Oops.”

She hands me a white bra. “Call me if you need anything, but please don’t scream as if Etienne’s about to beat you to death with a crowbar.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I kiss her cheek before she leaves me alone again, and then I change into the bra.

Five minutes later I’m doing my makeup in front of the mirror. “Mom?” I call again.

“What’s up?”

“Do you think you could do my hair anyway?” I ask loudly.

“Sure, lay out the things you’ll need.”

“OK.” After applying a final coat of mascara, I get out a brush, hair tie, and pins from the bathroom and bring them into my bedroom.

I lay them on my desk, which I then sit down at.

My mom arrives a few moments later. “Oh, good, you’re ready.” She steps behind me and opens up the bun I’ve been wearing daily for two weeks. “Good grief, Madeleine, did you even brush your hair since you got back from the hospital?”

“Well, I combed it with my fingers,” I admit sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, but this isn’t going to be a picnic. Your hair is pretty tangled.”

“Just go ahead.”

Mom picks up the brush and tugs it through my hair, and normally it doesn’t bother me too much if she’s a bit rougher, but this time I give in to the tugging and lean back with every stroke of the brush.

“Do you want to make up with Gavin?”

I look at her in the mirror on my desk. “I want to hear what he has to say to me, and I want to tell him a few things myself.”

“So you want to make up with him?”

“What would you do?” I ask her curiously.

“Back at the hospital, the love for you was clearly visible in his eyes. Whenever he looked at you, they started shining, and the same thing goes for you. When he came in and you looked at him, you were like a different person. I wouldn’t have thought love could be as visible as it is with the two of you, honey.” She sighs. “It was the same between your father and me, and I’ve never regretted it that I gave him a second chance after hearing that I destroyed a marriage. I love your father at least as much as you love Gavin, and from my own experience I can tell you that you should protect and take care of that love, or you’ll be unhappy. Which you are right now, by the way.”

I think about her words for a while. I know she and my dad went through a hard time back then because he didn’t tell her about his marriage. She only heard about it when she was pregnant with me, but he fought for her, too. I don’t remember how he ended up convincing her, but he managed. While I follow my train of thought, Mom pins up my hair. She ties it into a ponytail, pinning my curls down around the hair tie.

“I’m scared, Mom.”

“Scared of what, sweetie?”

“Of my feelings. I’m scared I won’t be myself anymore if I get involved with him.”

“You’ll be a girl who enjoys her life and love instead of a girl who ruins everything by overthinking out of fear. Believe me, hon, you’re going to enjoy it. A love like the one between you and Gavin doesn’t pass by, it stays for a lifetime.” She wraps her arms around me from behind and places a kiss on my cheek. “And you deserve to be happy after all that’s happened.” She lifts my head so I look into the mirror. “When I look at you, I see a girl I can love with all my heart even though she was always disappointed. Let yourself go on this adventure with Gavin, and you’ll see it will be worth it.”

I smile with my newly healed lips. The only reminders of the mugging that are left are splints on my hand and knee. “What if I get mugged again?”

“Didn’t you see what Gavin wrote? It’s been in the
Boulevard Press
for three days now.”

“No, what?”

“He said he’d leave the band if his fans don’t stop begrudging him his happiness. And he distanced himself from the girls who attacked you, saying he’d rather have no fans at all than that kind. He also said he’d never get involved with a fan, only with a woman who doesn’t know him as a celebrity, but as a human being,” she tells me. “And a few more things, but I can’t remember all of it.”

“He really said that?” I ask, surprised.

“It was an interview with one of those music show channels. Etienne showed me on YouTube when he came here. So I don’t think there will be any more problems for you.” She sighs. “How do you feel about him? What do you think?”

“I love him.”

“And?”

“I don’t want to live without him.”

“And?”

“Mom, I’m . . . just incredibly happy when I’m with him, and I don’t want to give him up, but my head’s saying it would be better while my heart objects,” I admit.

“And since when do you listen to your head instead of your heart?” she inquires, raising an eyebrow.

“Since . . . You always do, because your head can reason you into stupid things,” I reply with my mother’s mantra.

“Exactly, so whenever you feel insecure, close your eyes and listen to your heart.”

“OK,” I reply.

“You’re done now.” She smiles at my reflection.

I get up and slip into my shoes. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“It’s almost five thirty, you should hurry up if you want to be there on time.”

“How do you know when I’m supposed to be there?”

Mom grins at me. “Honey, your brother let me in on it, but how was I to know it would take you so long to look at the darn book,” she tells me, chuckling.

“I’m on my way, then.” I grab my purse and leave my room.

“Good luck, sweetie.”

“Thanks, Mom!”

I hurry downstairs, where Etienne’s already waiting for me. “Don’t give me that look, let’s get going,” I demand.

He laughs as we walk toward the car. My brother drives a sports car like my father, which means we should get to our destination quickly, as long as we don’t get held up by traffic. We get in and Etienne drives off before we’ve even fastened our seat belts. I catch up on that quickly, but he waits until we reach an intersection. There he finally fastens his, too.

The moment the street is free in front of us, he positively shoots across the street, until suddenly we’re stopped short by a traffic jam. “Shit!” I say.

“No worries, we’ll be on time.”

“You think so?”

“I know,” he replies. Meanwhile, the traffic jam in front of us has loosened up a little, but only so much that we get about a hundred feet.

I keep getting more and more restless as we keep stopping and going. “Gavin’s probably going to be gone when we arrive.”

“I’m certain he’ll wait.” Etienne gives me an encouraging smile.

I lean back, looking into the mirror that’s part of the sun visor. The only reminders that are left of my black eyes are some yellowish spots. Then I fold the visor back up and close my eyes, trying to grasp the words of my heart.