Gawain (16 page)

The marshal’s hand fell. Gringolet surged forward— and stumbled over a piece of splintered wood. It was a small stumble, and the stallion recovered almost instantly, but Gawain’s balance had been thrown. Aislyn saw him recover his grip on his lance and straighten in time to meet Lancelot squarely. Against any other knight—any
earthly
knight—he would surely have prevailed . . .

But not against Sir Lancelot.

He turned Gawain’s lance point easily with his shield, while his own hit straight and true, knocking Gawain backward with such force that he flew from the saddle to land in a cloud of dust upon the field.

“The victory to Sir Lancelot du Lac!” the marshal declared.

“No!”

Aislyn did not realize she had cried the word aloud until King Arthur looked over at her, a frown creasing his brow. “That was wrong,” Aislyn said to him. “You know it, don’t you?”

“It was unlucky that they missed that piece of wood,” Arthur agreed. “But the match was fair.”

“Fair?”
Aislyn cursed her hag’s voice; now, when she most needed to speak firmly, it rose into a shriek. “It was nothing of the sort! It was sorcery!”

Arthur leaned toward her. “How
dare
you?” he demanded in a low, fierce voice. “Sir Gawain has enough to bear; do you seek to shame him further with this vile accusation?”

“No! It
was
—”

“Silence!” Arthur roared, and heads turned in their direction. He lowered his voice, though his knuckles shone white against the armrests of his throne. “Do you think I have not divined your purpose? Whatever grudge you bear Sir Gawain is a matter for another day. On
this
day you will behave with dignity or I will have you carried to your chamber, gagged if necessary.” He leaned a little closer, his eyes boring into hers. “Do you care to try me?”

“No.
Sire,
” she added grudgingly, sinking down into her seat.

Gawain’s squire darted out to help him to his feet. He pulled off his helm, the sun beating down on the pale gold of his hair as he gazed up at his opponent. Lancelot sat unmoving, still holding his shield and lance, his visor concealing his expression.

Gawain bowed to him. Aislyn clenched her hands in her lap, fighting back the almost irresistible impulse to leap to her feet and shriek out the truth. When Gawain straightened, he raised a mailed hand to his lips, then flung it toward the stands with a brilliant smile.

They surged to their feet and cheered him, shouting out his name. He bowed to them, then gestured toward Lancelot and walked off, yielding him the field.

Lancelot did not remove his helm. He did not acknowledge either Gawain or the applause of the crowd. He simply sat where he was, still holding his lance and shield until his squire arrived to take them from him. Then, at last, he seemed to wake. He flipped up his visor and trotted his horse down the length of the stands toward his own pavilion. As he rode off the field, flowers fell like rain into his path.

Aislyn was already on her feet and halfway down the aisle before the crowd stood and surged toward the castle, bearing her along until she reached the bottom of the stairs. She fought against them then, cursing her frailty as she was buffeted this way and that, but at length she was free and heading toward the knights’ pavilions, standing in a row beyond the tourney field.

It was quiet beyond the barrier. A few pages and squires lingered by the paddock, groaning and laughing as they settled wagers won and lost. No one spared her a glance as she hobbled between the deserted pavilions. She wished she’d brought her stick, for her legs were shaking with the aftermath of rage, and she kept her head bent as she picked her way through the shattered lances, discarded helms and buckets littering her path.

She halted when she heard harsh, rending breaths coming from between the pavilions. Her heart constricted; she turned to leave, reluctant to intrude on such a private grief. But it was wrong that Gawain should be alone now. Even her company must be better than nothing.

She rounded a corner and halted at the sight of an armored man bent almost double, his back against a post. He dragged off his helm and let it fall, then raked his fingers through his hair, the heels of his hands pressed hard against his eyes as he drew another of those terrible, sobbing breaths.

Aislyn stood motionless, the words frozen on her lips. At last the knight raised his head. Their eyes met and held for an endless moment, long enough for Aislyn to take in his pallor, the dark patches like bruises beneath his eyes, the moisture on his cheeks—

Lancelot’s face twisted with rage. “What are you looking at?” he shouted, his voice hoarse and shaking. “Foul witch! Go—leave me—” He turned and buried his face in his hands.

Aislyn went.

SHE had only a glimpse of Gawain through the open flap of his pavilion. His younger brother, Agravaine, after informing her curtly that Gawain could not see her, planted himself firmly in her path.

“Look here, you,” she said, poking him in the chest, “I have every right to—”

“Agravaine, what are you doing?” Gawain called from within. “Stand aside and let my lady enter.” He was seated on a stool as a squire unlaced his greaves, sweat-soaked and disheveled with a streak of dirt on one cheek. But he smiled and lifted a hand in greeting. “I took no hurt,” he assured her. “Do not wait for me, Dinadan can take you to the hall. I’ll be up as soon as I am washed and dressed.”

Dinadan obediently came forward and took her arm, guiding her back through the pavilions.

“How is he really?” she asked Dinadan.

He shrugged. “As you saw him. He’s taking it a good deal better than the rest of us.”

Particularly Lancelot, she thought, casting a quick glance toward the place where the knight had stood. He was gone now, and she would have been tempted to dismiss their strange encounter as imagination if she did not see his helm still lying where he had dropped it.

Well, it
was
a grand victory, and apparently Sir Lancelot’s heart’s desire. Yet he had not looked like a man who wept for joy.

“And what of you?” she said to Dinadan as they stepped into the courtyard. “Are you all right? What Sir Lancelot did to you was a shameful thing.”

“I’ve had better days,” he agreed dryly, “but I daresay I’ll survive. And Lancelot apologized very nicely earlier. I suspect the king ordered him to do it, but what’s done is done and best forgotten. But stay, I owe you thanks— forgive me, I should have said so earlier—”

“No thanks needed,” Aislyn said. “So long as you are well, I am content.”

“I am. And I did learn something . . .”

“No more songs, then?”

He raised a brow. “I didn’t say
that
! No, next time I’ll fight my own battles.” His smile died. “If not for me—”

“They would still have met some time,” Aislyn said, patting his arm. “It was bound to happen. But you’re right. If you’re going to set yourself up as a court jester, you’d best be prepared to defend yourself . . . or learn to run fast.”

“A knight of Camelot does not run,” he said reprovingly.

“Then you’ll be spending a lot of time in the practice yard, won’t you?”

He sighed. “I daresay I will.”

THE feast was already in progress when Dinadan delivered Aislyn to her seat and went off to the knights’ table. King Arthur glanced at her across Gawain’s empty place and nodded shortly by way of greeting. Beside him, Guinevere was still subdued, though she brightened visibly when Lancelot walked into the hall.

Swept
into the hall, borne on a wave of applause to his seat at the high table beside the queen. He was clad in white—a magnificent silk tunic sprinkled with tiny diamonds about the neck—and wore a silver circlet round his brow. His dark hair curled around it, still damp from his bath, and his cheeks were blazing with fresh color. He smiled and waved as he took his seat, managing to look both modest and proud at the attention.

Was this really the same man she had seen behind the pavilions earlier? It seemed impossible to believe. When he met her gaze down the table, he smiled and raised his goblet to her, nodding in the friendliest fashion imaginable, as though the thought of shouting at her had never crossed his mind.

Someone
was mad, and Aislyn was fairly sure it wasn’t her. She knew what she had seen before, both behind the pavilions and earlier in the lists. Sir Lancelot was no mere knight . . . but was that any surprise, given who had raised him? He had come to Camelot from Avalon, a place shrouded in such mystery that many believed it a legend. Oh, they
said
he was the son of King Ban of Benwick, but as both his parents were dead and Benwick had fallen to invasion, how could there be any proof? He could be anyone . . . or any
thing
.

Aislyn frowned, watching him. He was a handsome lad—perhaps a bit
too
handsome? They said the men of faery were so fair that no mortal woman could resist them. It did not seem that Guinevere was even trying; she was turned toward him, laughing, her hand resting on his forearm. Nor did the king seem at all troubled by this familiarity. He was smiling, too, having obviously forgiven Lancelot for what had passed the night before. And Aislyn couldn’t really blame the king for that. Sir Lancelot could be extremely charming when he put his mind to it, and she had never seen him on anything less than his best behavior when Arthur was present.

But who was he?
What
was he?

There was one way to find out.

Aislyn closed her eyes, picturing a page in her grimoire. She could see the spell now, tucked into the margin in Morgause’s sprawling hand. She muttered the words beneath her breath, dipped a finger in her wine and flicked a few drops in Lancelot’s direction.

Nothing happened. She tried again, careful to get the words exactly right, but the effect was just the same. The third attempt, directed at the king, yielded no better result.

Either you’ve lost your touch,
she said to herself,
or . . .

She scanned the hall. There was Sir Agravaine, Gawain’s younger brother, sitting beside Dinadan, scowling up at the high table. Aislyn had never liked him. She muttered the words once more, flicked a drop of wine— and Agravaine’s goblet twisted in his hand, dousing him with its contents. He leapt up, sputtering, and the knights around him laughed.

Well. So she
did
still have the knack. She looked back at Lancelot. It was not proof as such, but it was all the proof she needed.

The one puzzle was why the king was impervious to magic, too, when by all accounts he had never been before. But perhaps . . . yes, she was almost certain . . . Lancelot had not been with him at those times.

Lancelot du Lac,
she mused,
brought by the Lady of the Lake herself to serve King Arthur. I wonder if Arthur knows the true nature of her gift? Or her purpose in bestowing it?

Lost in her thoughts, she had not seen Gawain arrive. He had slipped into his seat without fanfare, and was cutting the meat on the trencher they shared. When he was done, he set it before Aislyn.

“Eat, lady,” he said.

Arthur turned at the sound of his voice. “Gawain! How—how fare you?” he asked uncomfortably.

“Very well, sire. A bit stiff, perhaps—” He looked past the king and queen and nodded to Sir Lancelot. “I’ve rarely taken such blows as I was dealt today.” He picked up his goblet and saluted Lancelot before drinking. A murmur ran through the hall and a few knights slapped their palms upon the tables in approval.

Lancelot flushed, and for just a moment Aislyn glimpsed the young man she had seen behind the pavilion. “I—I—” he stammered, then recovered and returned the salute, an insufferably haughty smile curving his lips. “Thank you,
Sir
Gawain.”

“Please, lady, eat,” Gawain said to Aislyn.

“I’ve no appetite. Here, you have it.”

Gawain nodded and speared a slice of mutton on the end of his dagger. He made a show of eating, though in truth he consumed almost nothing, and though he lifted his goblet often, she saw that it was three-quarters full when at last the meal was over.

He sat, smiling with every appearance of enjoyment as a harper plucked his way through three songs. The last was a long ballad about a knight who wooed two sisters, one for gain and one for love. It was a sad tale, and at the end, Aislyn furtively wiped her eyes on her sleeve. She turned to Gawain, only to find his seat empty.

When the harper began a new tune, she took the opportunity to slip away.

SHE found Gawain in the chamber they shared, wearing nothing but a shirt pulled down to his waist as he dabbed at his shoulder with a cloth. A long gash sliced across his collarbone, surrounded by puffed and purple flesh, with bruises darkening his rib cage.

“That looks nasty,” she said.

“It’s not bad.”

She snorted, coming closer to look. “And now you’ll tell me it doesn’t hurt, either.”

He glanced up at her. “Oh, it hurts plenty. But nothing’s broken.”

“You sure of that?” She ran a hand across his ribs, then nodded. “I’ll bind it for you. That’ll help.”

“Thank you.”

He was quiet as she wound a strip of linen around his rib cage. She was quiet, too, wondering how to approach what she would say.

“About today . . .”

“Yes, I meant to speak of that myself. I am sorry I failed to—”

“But you didn’t! Fail, that is. You won.”

He smiled faintly. “I think you must have been watching a different match.”

“No, I was watching the right one, and I saw what you didn’t. The first time you hit him, he went down—or would have done, if something hadn’t interfered.” She tied the strip off and stepped back, fisting her hands on her hips. “He was falling, anyone will tell you that. They were saying it was a miracle he kept his seat. But it was magic sure enough.”