Geezer Paradise (26 page)

             
When the old man saw us his face broke into a big smile.  "Howdy, folks.  Want to go kayaking?" 

             
"Sure do," Willey said.  He pointed at Oscar.  "Can we take the little feller along with us?"

             
"Sure, just put a kid's life jacket on him.  First time I ever had a monkey go kayaking.  The life jackets are right there beside the creek."  He pointed at a rack filled with Orange jackets.  The kayaks are right there, too."  We figured he wasn't going to wait on us so I went up on the porch to pay him. 

             
When I came back I said, "I rented it for two hours so we can take our time.  We put on our life jackets.  I helped Willey put one on Oscar.  Willey and I grabbed a green two-seater kayak and eased it into the water.  This wasn't anything like what the Eskimos use, no tiny openings to get trapped in if the thing tips over.  The inside had a flat, wide, bottom and plenty of room. 

             
There were two flimsy looking seats attached to the bottom of the open well, one in front and one in back.  Willey went up front.  I was wearing flip-flops so I picked Oscar up and sloshed into the water to hand him to Willey.  Then I climbed into the back and settled myself into the rear seat.  We picked up our paddles, waved at the old guy, and pushed off. 

             
The old guy waved back and said, "Watch out for the gators."  I froze.               

             
Willey turned around and said, "He's just joking, Barney."  I hoped he was right.  But alligators, like cockroaches, have been around since prehistoric times, bothering the cave men.        

             
The creek reminded me of The Green Swamp, except it had more trees and brush and less open space.  The stark contrast between the bright green foliage and the pitch black water was the same.  The shack quickly disappeared behind us as we glided under the canopy of low hanging trees.  Unlike the swamp, with its wildlife concert, the creek was quiet, peaceful.  

             
"Isn't this nice?" Willey asked. 

             
"It's beautiful," I said.  "I don't know why I didn't think of this myself."  Oscar was taking in the surroundings, and smiling.  "Oscar looks like he's enjoying it, too," I said.  We paddled along, watching the shoreline go by and enjoying every minute of it.  We paddled slowly, looking from side to side, taking in the lush scenery. 

             
"There's a little current," Wiley said.  "We can paddle up stream for an hour and then let the current carry us back."  We turned one scenic bend after another, until we heard something big plop into the water.  We all looked in that direction--nothing showed.  A few seconds later an alligator's eyes rose above the water.  Oscar started chirping, "Ee,ee,ee,ee."  The gator was coming for him and he knew it. 

             
I yelled, "Let's get out of here.  Suddenly the bucolic jungle had become . . . well, a jungle. 

             
"Just don't make any sudden moves," Willey said.  "He won't bother us."  We sat stone still but the alligator kept coming toward us.  Oscar looked terrified. 

             
"Willey . . ." I said.

             
"Just be quiet, Barney and he'll go away."  I was quiet, Willey was quiet, Oscar was quiet, but still the alligator swam toward us.  I finally realized Willey didn't know what the hell he was talking about.  I slowly pulled the gun out of my pocket.  We watched, almost mesmerized, as the monster slid toward us with its huge jaws wide open. 

             
Willey screamed, "Shoot it, shoot it!"  Oscar screeched.  I was speechless as the giant lizard chomped down on the side of the kayak right in front of Oscar.  The alligator pulled, and almost tipped the kayak over.  I pointed my gun at the gators head and fired two shots.  The kayak went right side up again, and the alligator slid quietly beneath surface of the water. 

             
We sat there trying to catch our breath . . . until the first bullet went

whizzing by!  We looked into the brush and saw Stevens battling his way through the dense growth, trying to get close to us.  He was having a bad time of it, mostly because he was so drunk he was staggering a
nd his left arm was in a sling.  Mary had shot him at least once.

             
"Turn this thing around," I yelled.  We paddled furiously back the way we had come.  Another bullet whizzed by us as we went around a bend and out of Steven's site. 

             
"Hurry, Willey," I yelled.  "We have to get back and out of here before Stevens gets back to his car."  Oscar kept looking back to see if the gator was following us.  He was wide eyed, he knew he had come within inches of being that demon's lunch.  For that matter, we all had.  We came steaming around the last bend before the rental place at Olympic speed.  The old Cracker actually got out of his rocking chair when he saw us coming.

             
"What was all that shooting about?" he yelled.

             
"Hunters," I lied.  "Too dangerous."

             
"Damn," the old man cursed.  "Come into the office and I'll refund your money."

             
"Keep it," Willey yelled, as we scrambled to get out of the kayak.  "We'll be back next week and try again."  I couldn't get myself out of the kayak.  I was sitting on the bottom with my legs stretched out in front of me and I couldn't pull myself up.  Willey grabbed my hands and pulled with all his strength, but I still couldn't pull myself out of the damned thing . . . until we heard a gunshot from close behind--then I jumped out of the boat like a jackrabbit.  We pulled off the life jackets and dropped them into the kayak.

             
"See you next week," I said to the owner, and we ran for the Wrangler. 

             
As we pulled out onto the road we passed Steven's Cadillac parked off to the side.  He hadn't reached it yet. 

             
"That was a close one," Willey said. 

             
I said, "I thought I saw his car behind us back at the bank.  But I thought it was just my imagination."  As we raced down 580, Willey said, "Take the next exit and we'll take the back roads to make sure he isn't following us."  I took the exit and we took the back roads heading to 19 North.

             
"Did you notice that Stevens had his arm in a sling?" I asked.

             
Willey smiled.  "I can't wait to tell Mary she shot the bastard.  She always was a fighter."  We stayed on the back roads all the way back to Tarpon Springs just to be safe.  Along the way I heard Oscar whimper a few times from the back seat.  I reached back and rubbed his little head.  He had been traumatized.  We all had been traumatized--including Willey.  I thought about Willey screaming, "Shoot it, shoot it," like a little girl, and I had to smile. I was losing my fear of Stevens and his gun.  Not that I thought there was something wrong with the gun, but with the shooter.  I hoped he wouldn't sober up anytime soon. 

             
After a while I said, "Well, that was a relaxing change of pace, Willey.  We'll have to do that kayak thing more often."

             
Willey said, "I think so, too."  I thought Willey was starting to lose his fear of Stevens, too.  But he sure as hell was scared by that alligator. So was I. 

Chapter Seventeen
                        

AFTER LUNCH WILLEY called the hospital again.  Mary was well enough to have visitors.  We told Sofie we were going to visit Mary in the hospital.  She was busy in the kitchen and Oscar was trailing around behind her.  We drove down to Largo.  Once again Willey wore the ball cap and I wore the sunglasses.  It probably was a waste of time but it made us feel a little safer.  We parked a block away from the hospital, walked around to the emergency room entrance, went in and took the elevator up. 

              When we got to Mary's room the door was open.  Mary was sitting up in bed watching TV.  When she saw us she broke into a smile.  "The psycho ward is down stairs if you guys want to turn yourselves in," she said.  She was looking good.             

             
"When are you going to stop loafing around here and help us stop Flaherty," Willey chided. 

             
"I'd like to stop him with a bullet between his eyes," Mary said.             

             
"Speaking of bullets," I said.  "We ran into Stevens and he had his arm in a sling." 

             
"I thought I hit him," Mary said.  "I'd like to shoot him between the eyes, too.  Where did you see Stevens?"  We told her about our kayaking trip.  She just shook her head.  ”I feel like we're an endangered species."

             
Willey asked, "How did Stevens sneak up on you, Mary."

             
"It was the middle of the night and I was asleep, until I heard him break the glass in my side door.  I didn't have time to call 911, but I got to my gun and shot at him as soon as I could see him moving through the darkness.  He fired back and hit me in the stomach.  All I could do after that was to keep on shooting until I was out of bullets.  I think I passed out after that.  When I woke up again I was in here, all bandaged up."  We chatted a little more until we ran out of things to say. 

             
"Well, we'll let you rest, Mary," I said.

             
"Get better soon," Willey said, and kissed her on the cheek. 

             
As we left, Mary called out, "You two be careful."

             
We went down in the elevator and left the hospital looking over our shoulders.  Finally, we reached the Wrangler and drove back to Sofie's. 

              The next morning we got a call from Eduardo.  Willey answered it.  "Barney, Eduardo wants to know it we'll do an overnight stake-out for him at Frank's.  He thinks they're smuggling something through there."

             
"Who's smuggling what?" I asked.

             
"That's what he wants us to find out.  It'll give us something to do and we'll make some money."

             
"Sure, I'll do it."  I could always use the money. 

             
Willey said, "Sure, Eduardo, we'll do it . . . yeah . . . yeah.  Okay, but I'll need a gun.  Sofie? . . . okay, we'll be looking for the package, see ya."

             
Willey said, "Sofie will lend me a gun and he's sending us the keys to the back gate and the back door of Frank's by currier.  He made copies of them when he was working there.  He says the neighbors call the police because a big cabin cruiser pulls up to Frank's dock in the middle of the night, stays for five minutes, and then leaves.  When the police get there the boat is gone.  Anyway, it's happening on a regular basis and he wants us to hide up in Frank's cupola and find out what's going on.  We're not supposed to do anything, just observe."

             
"Okay, maybe it won't be so bad," I said.  "And it means another four hundred apiece for us, that's the best part.  When do we do it?"

             
"Tonight.  Better bring a thermos full of coffee to keep us awake."

             
An hour later the currier arrived with the package.  There was a note inside from Eduardo.  It told us to go up into the cupola on the roof and just observe.  He said to stay out of site.  Smugglers are dangerous people--and not to forget to lock the back door and the gate behind us, both going in and coming out.

             
Willey and I went to a local camera store to buy film so I could take pictures of the smugglers.

             
"Just don't hit the flash again like you did at Ransom's," Willey said.

             
"What? Do you think I'm stupid?"  Willey smirked at me.  

             
When we got back Sofie gave us a key to the house so we could come and go during the night.  I was a little tired and decide to take a nap before I had to stay up all night. 

             
At 1: am Willey shook me awake.  "Let's go, we have to get to Frank's before the boat gets there." I sat on the edge of the bed rubbing my eyes. 

             
"Come on, Barney.  Move it.  We don't have time to for you to diddle around."  I pulled my pants on over my pajama bottom, stuck my feet into my shoes, no socks, and staggered, half asleep, into the living room.  I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and we went out the door and locked it behind us.  When we got to Jack's I pulled the Wrangler off the road into the bushes.  We sat in the Wrangler and watched the employees leave.  About 2: am the pontoon boat made its last trip to shore and was tied up.  The old guy who operated the pontoon was the last employee to leave.  The parking lot was finally empty.  We waited another half-hour just to be safe, then I grabbed my camera and we made our way to the service road that went to the back of the island.  As I walked I noticed the drawstring on my pajamas had come loose and my pajama bottom had fallen down around my legs.  It made it difficult to walk.  I shouldn't have let Willey rush me.