Genesis: A Harte's Peak Prequel (19 page)

 

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Maybe if she didn't say the words out loud they wouldn't count. But she wasn't even fooling herself with that one. She'd fallen head over heels in love with Jack Butler, but now that he'd declared he felt the same she didn't appreciate the qualifier he'd put at the end of it. And she was afraid she knew exactly why this would be so hard.

It was the reason she'd told herself that she wouldn't, she couldn't, fall in love with Jack. But her foolish heart hadn't heard a word she'd said.

Jack rested his forehead against hers, a gesture which made it easier not to gaze in his eyes. If she did he might not miss her disappointment, but of course, he had to go. It didn't mean she had to like it. Her heart raced in anticipation of the pain she knew was headed straight for her heart. “You're leaving, aren't you?”

“I have to. It was never like me to run away from my problems, and I've let everyone down.”

What about your friends here? What about me?
She wanted to scream.
Not the time to be selfish, Maggie
.
Please Lord, help me to want what You want for Jack. If it's not me, I'll learn to live with it. I just want him to be happy.

“I know you have to go. Remember, I was supposed to talk you into going back? I've done a bang-up job, haven't I?” Such a great job that if he hadn't mentioned it, she would have easily let the whole idea fade into the background. She'd been so selfish.

Jack pulled her close. “Leaving here will be the hardest thing I'll ever do.”

“I hope so.” That made him laugh quietly, his lips hovering so close to her ear that it made a beautiful deep sound. A sound she would miss for as long as she lived.

“If it wasn't for you and Lexi, I'm not sure I would be able to go back. You did that for me. Dragging me back to life. Knocking on my front door. Then making your way inside my heart.”

“I didn't do it on purpose.”

He laughed again.

She was a regular comedienne when her heart was breaking. “You were so handsome in your deputy uniform the first time I saw you. Even though you did look embarrassed. I guess I'm a goner for a man in a uniform.”

“That's funny, because I'm a goner for a woman with a big heart. And green eyes.”

Maggie pulled out of his arms and took a few steps back. He was leaving, and the sooner she got used to the idea the better. “You should go home now.”

He blinked. But she couldn't do this any longer, not when he'd be gone soon. Her foolish heart wasn't listening even now, so she'd have to give it a kick start. Time to engage her brain. Maybe it would listen better.

“Why?”

“You can't be serious. This will be hard, Jack. Much harder than I can deal with right now.”

Understanding crossed his face, hardening its planes again, and he hung his head, resigned. “I'm sorry. I'm being selfish.”

“No, I'm afraid I'm the one being selfish. You're being honest.”

“I can't help it if I want to spend every moment with you before I go.”

“That won't happen. I can't do this. I'm a mother, and I should have guarded my heart a whole lot better than I have.”

“You're not the only one to make that mistake.” He tried to reach for her again, but she moved away, a little piece of her heart protesting with a nearly indiscernible skip.

Mistake.
So he agreed it had been a mistake not to guard her heart. Well, at least they were on the same page about that. “Good-bye, Jack.”

“Don't do this. We're neighbors, and I'll be around a bit longer. Are you just going to ignore me?”

She would try. “We're still friends.”

“But I told Lexi I'd hang out with you until she gets back. She's counting on me.”

“It's OK. You've done your duty.”

“Maggie, please. You know I wanted to do it. If she hadn't asked me, I'd have found a way to come over here myself.”

This wasn't working out, and he was no closer to that front door. Her throat burned and the tears weren't going to stay back much longer. The last thing she wanted was his pity. “It's just that it hurts to be with you right now.”

He winced. “And the last thing I want to do is hurt you.” Finally, he turned toward the door.

She turned her back so she wouldn't have to see him go. Within moments, the door closed. He was gone, leaving her and her wayward, aching heart alone.

Maggie picked up her cell phone and dialed Vera's number. For the next few moments, she struggled to get intelligible words out through her sobs. “Jack…leaving…I'm…idiot.”

“I'll be right over with a pint of ice cream,” Vera said.

 

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The ice cream hadn't helped Maggie much at all, but it had helped when Vera refused to leave her for the rest of the weekend. Instead, she'd called their part-time worker and offered her an extra shift.

Best of all, after watching a sad movie, Maggie had company in her tears.

“It's not fair to pull on my heart strings like that.” Vera sobbed as she reached for the last tissue.

They were certainly going through them this weekend.

Even though she hadn't left the house, Maggie had peeked out the window and noticed that Jack's truck had been gone for the better part of the day. She wondered where he was, and if it were possible that he'd already left. And then she reminded herself to stop wondering. It was over.

“Do you think he'll say good-bye?” Maggie sniffed.

“That depends. How would you rate his guts on a scale of one to ten?” Vera asked, picking up the remote.

She'd rate him at an eleven, but that was beside the point. “I don't think I encouraged him to say good-bye. I ran him out of here. Maybe I shouldn't have done that.”

Vera stared at her. “Don't even think about it. I know where your mind is going. You did the right thing. Clean break and all that.”

“You think?” She was beginning to doubt everything. They were friends above all, and didn't friends wish each other the best? Once she emerged from this self-imposed pity party, maybe she'd get her own gut level up into the double digits. The Lord would help her with that.

“What do you want to do? Prolong the agony? Let him go, Mags.”

“I already did.” She'd said good-bye, in fact. And no matter which way she wanted to cut it, there wouldn't be an easier or more pleasant way to say those words. Maybe Vera was right.

Once Lexi arrived late on Sunday, Maggie had found the strength to put away the tears and put on her Mom hat. Naturally, the first thing Lexi had wanted to know was how Chief was doing and if he was with Jack. That's when Maggie explained about Chief's real name and his owners. To ease the pain, she told Lexi that she had their address and they could visit him anytime.

“He was a therapy dog?” Lexi's eyes widened.

“Jack suspected he'd been trained by someone. We just couldn't have imagined it was to work with people the way he does. He's a very special dog. And you knew it.”

“He always seemed to know when I needed a hug.” Lexi smiled, tears in her eyes. “I'm going to miss him so much.”

“I'm sorry, Lex. It was hard for Jack, too. Chief wrapped himself around our hearts. We're all going to miss him.”

“I wish Grandpa could have met him, too.” Lexi sat down with a slump on the sofa.

“Grandpa?”

“You should have seen the look on his face when he saw the box of daddy's mementos that I was getting ready to bring home. I couldn't do it. He needs to keep those things.”

“You left it all there? They belong to you. Your dad would have wanted you to have them.” Maggie sat down next to Lexi.

“I think Daddy would have wanted me to leave them with Grandpa, and that's what I told him. He almost cried, Mom. Hugged me really tight. I carry my dad with me wherever I go. After all, he's a part of me, and I'm a part of him that isn't gone. We'll be together again one day. Don't you think?”

Maggie didn't have words. Her little girl had grown up, and come into her own acceptance of her loss with the help of the Lord.

Maggie wrapped her daughter in a hug. “Of course you'll be together again. One day, every tear will be wiped clean. It's guaranteed.”

 

 

 

 

14

 

“I won't accept it,” Calhoun said, sliding Jack's resignation across the desk.

“What do you mean you won't accept it?” Jack's jaw felt tight enough to lock into place. It had been seven days and three hours since he'd talked to Maggie, and Jack was in no mood.

Sure, he'd been watching her from a distance. Watching as she drove Lexi to school, and he'd even been keeping one eye on Lexi if he happened to be home in the afternoons. Every now and then, he'd drive by The Bean just to see her car there, but he hadn't been inside, letting Ryan pick up their coffees. Jack stayed away, even though all he wanted to do was hold her again.

He slid the resignation back to Calhoun.

“I'll call it a leave of absence, but your job will be here for you when you get back,” Calhoun said after a long pause.

Jack closed his eyes. He hadn't expected the old man to make things harder for him than they already were. “If that's how it has to be, but I can't guarantee that I'll be back.”

“You don't have to. I can practically guarantee it myself.”

“This was a temporary pit stop, until I could get my bearings. Now that I'm ready, don't make it harder than it has to be.”

“Son, I don't mean to do that. I know you have to go back, because you left there too hastily. You're right that you have unfinished business back home, but something tells me that you're not done with Harte's Peak.”

Something told him he wasn't either, but a much stronger thought convinced him he wasn't anywhere near the kind of man that Maggie Bradshaw deserved. And probably never would be. “Do me a favor? Look out for Maggie and Lexi, would you?”

“You know I will.”

“Maggie's too trusting. She doesn't see the worst in people, only the best. Maybe that's a good thing, but she needs someone to protect her.” The fact that he'd be worried about her long distance nagged at his resolve, but he had to go back. No doubt about it.

“Funny, I thought that someone would be you.”

The thought had occurred to Jack more than once. And if he'd been a better man, maybe. Well, no maybe about it. He'd be making plans to be a stepfather to Lexi, a husband to Maggie, if she'd have him. But it was all a stupid idea, and he didn't know why Calhoun couldn't see it.

“Maggie needs a good man,” Jack said.

“That's right, and I'm looking at one.”

“A better man.”

“When will you realize that forgiveness is waiting for you if you'll only forgive yourself?”

“Are you going to start spouting Bible verses again?” For once, Jack secretly wished he would. He'd misplaced, or possibly left at the motel he'd stayed in his first few days in town, the Bible Calhoun had given him. Now Jack needed a little direction. Maggie, more than anyone, had made him curious about the faith that guided her out of what had to have been one of the worst times of her life.

Jack had to start investigating, start reading. But where to begin? Should he just jump in at the beginning and read the Bible like a novel? Walking into the muddy waters of religion didn't sound like him, but for the first time in his life, he wouldn't walk away without knowing what he was rejecting.

“Do you want me to?” Calhoun cocked his head.

Jack lifted a shoulder. “I'm getting used to it.”

“You got it. Every time I think of you, there's one verse that comes to mind: Jeremiah 29:11. ‘For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'”

A future.
He'd almost given up on one, but when he'd gazed in Maggie's eyes for the first time the future had become hopeful. “I like the sound of that.”

Calhoun reached in his desk drawer and drew out his dog-eared Bible, the one that usually rode with them in the cruiser. He handed it over to Jack. “I want you to have this.”

“That's your Bible, and besides, you already gave me one.”

“Do you still have it?”

He had a feeling Calhoun had the answer before Jack gave it. “Uh, no.”

“You'll have this one, then. It's time for me to get a new one anyway.”

Jack opened the book, noting the lined passages. “But this one is filled with your notes. Are you sure?”

“That's why it's perfect for you. Something tells me you need a little guidance.”

Again, the man read Jack well. Possibly one of the reasons Calhoun was, after all, in police work. He understood the human condition all too well. “You're right. I don't even know where to start.”

“For me, the fact that you even want to know where to start is good enough. Read the book, think about it, and pray about it. Heck, investigate the facts of the Bible like you would a case. It can stand up to your scrutiny. Make sure you don't forget that it's all part of a larger story. The story of man and God is most of all a love story. And something tells me you know a little about that.”

 

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Teach Kimberly how to operate the lawn mower. Check.

Turned out that Kimberly used a lawn service, and that she and Robert had used one for many years.

“You, of all people, know how much my husband worked. When he was home, I wanted him all to myself. Not having to worry about a honey-do list,” Kimberly had said with a smirk.

Good enough. Today was supposed to be about the grill. Turned out Kimberly had the deluxe special, a gas grill that turned on with a flick of the switch.