Get Smart-ish (12 page)

As questions raced through Jonathan's and Shelley's minds, the lights in their pod began to buzz and flicker.

“Why do I feel like a man with a mask and a knife is about to appear?” Shelley said as she grabbed hold of Jonathan's arm.

“Because you've seen too many horror films,” Jonathan replied. “It's just an electrical short, not that an electrical short can't turn into something dangerous like a fire.”

Shelley squeezed Jonathan's hand as the lights buzzed even louder and flickered faster until finally shutting off completely. Standing in the pod, the only light coming from the city far below, Jonathan turned to Shelley.

“I don't want to scare you—”

“Has saying that ever stopped anyone from being scared?” Shelley responded as she silently rued the moment she stepped foot on this glorified Ferris wheel.

“Look at the other pods. We're the only one that's lost power,” Jonathan pointed out. “Maybe it's just a coincidence.”

“I don't believe in coincidences. And neither should you.”

“Then we have a problem,” Jonathan replied.

Thump. Clack. Clack
.

Someone or something was on the roof of their pod.

“Maybe it's a bird,” Jonathan suggested.

Shelley rolled her eyes. “Maybe it's a plane. Maybe it's Superman!”

The sound of drilling echoed through the pod.

“Does Superman have a tool belt?” Jonathan mumbled as his chest constricted and panic took hold.

Creak. Snap. Crack
. And just like that, a petite teenage girl dressed in head-to-toe black climbed down into the pod.

“At last we meet,” Nina said softly before breaking into an awkward smile.

Shelley pointed at the roof of the pod. “That was some entrance.”

“Wouldn't it have been easier to meet in a café?” Jonathan asked.

“Oh, come on, you're operatives. Where's your sense of excitement?” Nina said as she stepped toward them. “Plus, you're being followed by Oli, Darwin, and Hattie, who are currently two pods behind us.”

“They followed us here?” Jonathan repeated.

“Actually, they arrived before you, which tells me they already knew where you were going,” Nina explained.

“That's impossible. We didn't tell anyone,” Shelley said.

“She's telling the truth,” Jonathan seconded before furrowing his brow. Something wasn't right. Something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

“Nina, you seem like a smart girl,” Shelley started. “Well, except for the whole climbing-through-the-roof-of-the-Ferris-wheel thing. That was really dumb. You could have easily fallen off.”

As Shelley rambled, Jonathan continued to stare at Nina. What was it, the boy thought. What was it about her appearance that was gnawing at him?

“Anyway, like I was saying, you seem like a smart girl. I'm sure if we just sit down and talk, we'll come up with a million better ways to help the environment than poisoning those ministers with LIQ-30.”

“You've got it all wrong,” Nina began, when Jonathan suddenly gasped.

“That's it!” Jonathan screeched. “She's too short!”

“Please excuse my partner, he's having some kind of mental breakdown. No doubt the result of all our near-death experiences, thanks to you,” Shelley said as she lowered her glasses to glare at Nina.

“No, Shells! That's just it! It couldn't have been Nina who tried to kill us at the Tower of London. She's too short. If she had pushed us into the pit, we would have felt her hands on our backs, but we didn't. We felt them on the tops of our shoulders!”

“It's true,” Nina said as she stepped closer to Jonathan and Shelley. “I've never tried to kill you. I've never even tried to hurt you. Why would I? Don't you see, we're on the same side!”

“How's that?” Shelley asked.

“We're trying to stop LIQ-30 from being used in the name of vigilante justice,” Nina explained.

“But you're the one doing that,” Shelley continued.

“No, I'm not. That's just some cover story Darwin, Oli, and Hattie came up with to distract you from what they're planning.”

“Which is?” Jonathan asked.

“They want to use LIQ-30 to neutralize dangerous people before they are able to commit a crime,” Nina explained. “The law requires proof in order to arrest someone. And the truth is, sometimes it's impossible to gather the evidence in time. And when that happens, people suffer.”

“But to punish people, to take away their ability to focus and think clearly, before they've even done anything, doesn't seem right,” Jonathan remarked.

“No, it doesn't, which is why I'm looking for a safe place to properly dispose of the virus,” Nina said. “To make sure it never falls into the wrong hands.”

Shelley ripped off her glasses and stomped her foot. “So Hattie wasn't contaminated? She's been pretending this whole time! Man, is she a good actress!”

“But we're not. And now we have to pretend like we don't know what Darwin, Oli, and Hattie are really up to,” Jonathan grumbled. “That's not going to be easy.”

“What are you talking about? You're operatives,” Nina said. “Pretending is part of the job.”

“Oh, yeah, right,” Jonathan responded as he started to fidget with the zipper on his jacket.

“You seem awfully nervous for operatives,” Nina said, narrowing her eyes at Jonathan and Shelley.

“Nervous? Us? No way!” Shelley shot back. “We're as cool as a couple of cucumbers in the produce aisle.”

“No,” Nina retorted. “You're not. You're anxious. You're unsure of yourselves.”

“We are,” Jonathan admitted. “And there's a good reason for that. We're members of the League of Unexceptional Children. A covert network that uses the United States' most average, normal, and utterly forgettable children as spies.”

“Johno! We weren't supposed to tell anyone!”

“If we're going to help Nina, she needs to know the truth. She needs to know who she's dealing with,” Jonathan explained.

“Thank you for trusting me,” Nina said as she looked out the window. “We're almost down; I'd better go. I'll be in touch.”

And just like that, the girl was gone.

OCTOBER 27, 8:23 A.M. BAE HEADQUARTERS. LONDON, ENGLAND

“You ready?” Jonathan asked Shelley as they prepared to enter BAE headquarters.

“It's going to be a piece of cake. Hattie's not the only actress in this crowd.”

“Just do your best to stick to the plan and keep the improvising to a minimum,” Jonathan implored Shelley as he opened the door.

“Good morning, fellow operatives!” Shelley called out loudly upon seeing Randolph, Oli, Darwin, and Hattie seated at a table. “We come bearing news.”

“Do tell,” Randolph replied stiffly.

Shelley pulled out a chair, plopped down, and then blurted out, “Nina's fled to Castle Combe to see her grandmother.”

“What did you say?” Darwin exploded, running his fingers through his hair.

“I said Nina's gone to Castle Combe to see her grandmother,” Shelley reiterated.

Oli narrowed his eyes. “How on earth do you know this?”

“How on earth do I know this?” Shelley repeated as she pushed her messy blond locks out of her face. “Nina told me.”

“You've spoken to Nina?” Darwin screeched as he stormed across the room, stopping inches from Shelley's face. “You spoke to Nina and you didn't tell us?”

“I spoke to Nina…in a dream. She said,
‘Hey, girl, this is getting crazy so I am going to bolt, head on up to Granny's for some tea and biscuits, check ya later
.'”

“That's how Nina speaks in your dreams?” Oli asked, clearly perplexed by the whole story.

“They're my dreams—she can speak any way she wants to, okay? I don't put rules on my guests,” Shelley said with a huff.

“And by
guests
, she means people that randomly show up in her head while she's sleeping, not people she actually knows,” Jonathan clarified.

“So the Castle Combe tip came from a dream?” Darwin clarified. “Hardly a reliable source.”

“I get some of my best tips from dreams,” Shelley pressed on. “If I were you, I would check it out.”

“I don't think so,” Darwin said, prompting Shelley to clench her jaw, disappointed that her plan to get the BAE agents out of town had failed.

“Jonathan? Shelley?” Randolph said while reading a message on his phone. “The prime minister's secretary has just written to inform me that you have guests waiting for you at Downing Street.”

“Guests?” Jonathan asked.

“Your friends from America, Mr. Humphries and Ms. Maidenkirk,” Randolph answered.

“Who are they?” Darwin asked.

“Our students,” Shelley spat out quickly. “We tutor them in mahjong and backgammon—those are our specialties after all.”

“You brought your students on a mission?” Oli asked as Jonathan sighed at Shelley's poorly thought-out cover.

“Of course not. They followed us,” Shelley said. “To be honest, they're more stalkers than students. But they're old. So we don't have the heart to take out restraining orders.”

“And on that note,” Jonathan interjected, “I think it's time we attend to our stalkers and whatever backgammon or mahjong emergency they're dealing with today.”

OCTOBER 27, 12:46 P.M. 10 DOWNING STREET. LONDON, ENGLAND

“Kiddos, there's trouble on the home front,” Hammett announced to Jonathan and Shelley while pacing back and forth in the kitchen.

“But don't worry,” Nurse Maidenkirk added. “No one's dead. Not yet, anyway.”

“Thanks for those comforting words,” Shelley said with a quick roll of the eyes.

“Would someone please tell me what's going on?” Jonathan demanded, his patience waning.

“It's nothing the nurse and I can't handle, but here's the thing: We're leaving this joint. We're kicking this pop stand.
Today
. And not because we want to but because we have to. All I can tell you is that when trouble calls, she means business.”

“Why is trouble a girl?” Shelley asked, lowering her glasses and peering at Hammett.

Nurse Maidenkirk raised her eyebrows. “Shelley has a point.”

“This conversation right here, right now, is exactly why trouble's a woman!” Hammett said.

“Sometimes it's best just to admit defeat and move on,” Jonathan advised Hammett.

“You know, kid, you're not as dim a bulb as you seem.”

“Thanks for the sort-of compliment,” Jonathan responded.

“We spoke to the prime minister and one-eyed Randy this morning, gave them a quick rundown on the news. They're stiff and formal, but they're good eggs,” Hammett said with a wink. “Keep your wits about you, kiddos. Trouble, whether it's a boy or a girl, is lurking all around you and don't you forget it.”

OCTOBER 27, 2:46 P.M. HYDE PARK. LONDON, ENGLAND

“May I ask why you placed a jalapeño in my pocket?” Randolph said as he strolled through Hyde Park with Jonathan and Shelley.

“Shells, that's
League
code. Why would you expect Randolph to understand it?”

“I didn't, which is why I also placed a note in his pocket asking him to meet us in the park,” Shelley explained.

“Then why did you put the jalapeño in there too?” Jonathan asked.

“An early Christmas gift.”

“May we please get on with the matter at hand, whatever that may be?” Randolph interrupted.

“Randy? Can I call you Randy? And please feel free to call me Shelltastic.”

“How kind of you,” Randolph responded brusquely.

“He doesn't mean that, Shells, it's sarcasm,” Jonathan explained.

“Luckily for you, I'm immune to sarcasm,” Shelley said with a smile before her expression turned serious. “Here's the thing: We wanted to talk to you about Oli, Hattie, and Darwin. How well do you know them?”

“They were thoroughly vetted before joining BAE, so whatever you are implying or insinuating, I assure you, you are mistaken,” Randolph stated curtly.

“Yeah, but you also thought Nina had been thoroughly vetted and now you think she's some kind of crazy radical,” Shelley pointed out.

“I must admit the news about Nina was deeply shocking.”

“Randolph, we don't have time to beat around the bush,” Jonathan blurted out. “So I'm just going to come out and ask you whether it's possible that Darwin, Hattie, and Oli are trying to get their hands on LIQ-30 to use against possible threats to society.”

“We also think they concocted the whole environmentalist story just to cover up the fact that Nina was actually trying to stop them,” Shelley added. “Think about it. Did you ever know Nina to be an environmentalist before any of this happened?”

“Passions often hide below the surface, especially when espionage is involved. It is hardly unheard of for an operative to harbor secret political persuasions.”