Getting REVENGE on Lauren Wood (16 page)

“You didn’t exactly invite me,” I countered.

“Then can I officially invite you for a cup of coffee?”

“No,” I said, and then paused. “I’m more of tea drinker. Coffee makes me jumpy.”

Christopher laughed. “We wouldn’t want you jumpy.”

We went in his car to the Bean There Café. The car was an ancient Honda that looked like it was held together with duct tape. What impressed me was that he never apologized for it the way so many people would. It was his car, and if you didn’t like it then I suspect he would tell you to get out. When we walked in the café, another couple was just getting up from the two battered leather chairs that flanked the fireplace.

“Grab those seats and I’ll get us some drinks,” Christopher said. I reached into my pocket to pull out some money. I was going to have to get a new purse soon. I still hadn’t replaced my bag since the whole projectile-strawberry incident. I had hoped if I washed it out well and used some Febreze it might somehow survive, but it was a lost cause. Not that I was complaining—the payoff had been worth it. I held out some money, but Christopher waved my cash away. “I think I can swing the tea.”

I kicked my shoes off and folded up into the chair, my legs tucked under me. The fireplace was gas, more for show than anything else, but it did put out a bit of heat. The door swung open and a wave of cold air rushed into the room, but it was her voice that gave me the shivers. Lauren.

Bailey saw me first and waved like she was a plush Disney creature at the doorway to the Magic Kingdom and I was a guest from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. If they could bottle what Bailey had it would be better than Prozac. You usually didn’t find people this happy unless there was serious medication support. Kyla held
out her leg, and I couldn’t figure out what she was doing until I realized she was wearing my boots. I shot her a thumbs-up. Lauren looked right past me.

“Hey, I tried to call you earlier,” Bailey said, as they drew close. “We decided to go out and have a girls’ night.” She looked at me meaningfully and then over at Lauren. I’d missed out on a chance to cheer up Lauren, not that she needed cheering up—after all, she was just fine. She didn’t want the part anyway,
blah blah blah
.

“My phone was off. I was at the movies.”

Christopher turned around from the counter with our drinks. He walked over slowly and gave everyone a nod of recognition.

“Christopher!” Lauren said, her voice bright. “I guess you can’t get enough of me—I see you everywhere these days. If this keeps up, I’m going to think you’re following me.”

“How could anyone ever get enough of you, Lauren?”

“Is that for me?” Lauren asked, gesturing to the extra cup he was holding in his hand. “How did you know I wanted hot tea?”

“It’s for Claire.”

Both Bailey and Kyla looked down at me. Kyla raised an eyebrow and I felt my face flush. Bailey looked so excited I thought she might levitate for a moment. I grabbed the tea and took a deep drink, the hot water searing my mouth. Lauren looked at Christopher and then at me. I suspect most people wouldn’t know how upset she was, but I could see her nostrils flare out
and the hitch in her chest as she tried to get a deep breath.

“Oops, sorry. Didn’t mean to bust in on your big date,” Lauren said, pausing to see if either of us would correct her.

“No worries.” Christopher sank into the seat next to me.

“How are you feeling?” I tried to force my face into an expression that looked sympathetic.

“I’m fine.” Lauren bit each word off.

“You sure? I know you must be disappointed. I think it’s great you could go out with your …”—I paused to let the next word sink in—“girlfriends, and get your mind off of everything.” Lauren’s nostrils were nearly rippling with agitation. I touched the side of Christopher’s hand to drive home the point that some of us weren’t going to settle for being out with a girlfriend. Some of us had a date.

“Thanks for asking, but like I said, I’m fine.” Lauren stomped over to the counter to order. Bailey and Kyla trailed after her. Bailey gave me an obvious okay sign with a wink that she must have imagined Christopher was incapable of seeing. Christopher waited until they had walked off.

“You know what I can’t figure out?” he asked. “Why you and Lauren are friends.”

I shrugged, not sure what to say. I couldn’t bring myself to think of a single nice thing to say about her that would explain why anyone would be friends with her. I couldn’t tell what he thought of Lauren. Did he think I was lucky to be in her sacred circle or an idiot to hang out with her? It was my duty to get him
away from her clutches, before he fell under the Lauren spell that infected everyone else. He seemed flip with her, but I couldn’t tell if it was meant to be friendly teasing or sarcasm tainted with disdain.

“I’m more friends with Bailey and Kyla.”

“Sort of breaks up the holy trinity though, doesn’t it? Those three have been thick as thieves since freshman year.”

I shrugged again. At this rate he was going to think I was a conversational retard with shoulder spasms.

“What about you?” I said.

“What about me?”

“What do you think of Lauren?”

Christopher pulled back, surprise on his face.

“Lauren?”

“Yeah, do you like her?”

Christopher didn’t say anything. He just looked at me. I felt someone else’s eyes on me and turned to the side. Lauren, Bailey, and Kyla were sitting at a table. Bailey and Kyla were having a discussion, but Lauren was staring at me. If looks could kill I would have been six feet under with an ax in my head.

“I mean, I was just wondering,” I added, turning back to Christopher. I touched his shoulder, making sure Lauren would get a good look.

“I don’t think I’m her type,” he said.

I took my hand off his shoulder. I noticed that he didn’t say she wasn’t his type.

“You don’t seem to hang out with anybody,” I said, dropping the whole Lauren topic altogether.

“Maybe I’m the kinda guy who likes my own company.”

“Ah, a loner.” I took a sip of my tea.

“Something like that,” Christopher said, staring at me. I brushed the end of my nose to see if anything was there. He was staring so intently it felt like he had X-ray eyes, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to see what was under the surface.

“What?” I asked finally.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, why are you staring at me?”

“I thought girls were supposed to like it when guys looked into their eyes.”

“Have you been reading
Cosmo
?” I teased.

“Nah, that magazine is trash. Besides, last time I read it, it promised ‘25 Ways to Drive Him Wild,’ and I’m pretty sure only twenty-two of them would work.”

I tried to laugh casually like I was used to joking around about sexual tricks with attractive guys, but the only thing that came out sounded like what would happen if someone stepped on a poodle.

“You okay?”

“Mmm, tea must have gone down wrong,” I said. Christopher smiled and I had the sense that he knew I was lying. I couldn’t tell if I wanted him to bring up the
Cosmo
article again or not. Part
of me wondered, if I read the article, if I would be able to guess which three things out of the list didn’t work for him.

“I can’t quite figure you out,” he said.

“Complicated, that’s me.”

“Something like that.” He stared at me again for what seemed like forever. “You just don’t fit into any single category.”

“I tried to fit into someone else’s definition once, but it didn’t work out.”

“Well, then you should stay unique.” He leaned back in his chair so that we were sitting side-by-side facing the fire. His hand reached over and traced lazy figure eights on the side of my arm. Oh God, I hoped Lauren was catching a peek of this. Clearly if I was going to start a 25 Things to Drive Me Wild list, this would be in the top five. I wondered what would happen if I let out a moan right there in the coffee shop.

When my cell phone rang, I nearly jumped out of the seat. I yanked the phone out of my pocket so quickly that it flew out of my hand and landed in Christopher’s lap. I grabbed it back without thinking. Christopher evidently wasn’t expecting me to lunge at his crotch (I’m guessing that maneuver didn’t make the
Cosmo
list), and he jumped up, splashing his coffee onto the floor. Everyone in the café turned to see what was going on. Lauren had already been looking over, only now I had given her something to smile about. I clicked the phone on.
It had better be an emergency.

“Helen!” Grandma’s voice bellowed into my ear. She sounded
surprised to hear me on the line, as if she meant to call someone else.

“Gram.” There was a pause while neither of us said anything for a beat. I shot Christopher an apologetic smile. He was mopping up the coffee with a stack of napkins.

“I’m checking to see when you were planning to come home. It’s a school night,” Grandma said.

“I’ll be home soon.”

“Define ‘soon.’ It’s already after ten.”

“Gram.”

“Helen.”

I rolled my eyes at Christopher as if to explain the craziness that is my family. “I’ll be home in an hour.”

“Half hour.”

“I’m a senior. In a year I’m going to be living on my own.”

“Then in a year you can stay out as long as you like.”

“I can take you back to your car now if you have to go,” Christopher whispered.

“I’ll be home in a half hour.” I clicked off the phone before my grandma could begin her “the importance of boundaries” lecture.

“Sorry,” I said, not sure if I was apologizing for the fact I had to go home or the fact that I’d grabbed him when the phone rang.

“No worries. I’ve got family too.”

“I note yours doesn’t call to check on you like you are a
five-year-old. It doesn’t help that she used to be a social worker and worked with all these juvenile delinquents.”

“What’s her name? Maybe I know her.”

I looked up, shocked.

“Joke. I’m joking.”

I laughed to show that I knew that the whole time.

“Why does your grandma call you Helen?”

I choked on my tea when my throat seized shut. Christopher gave me a few whacks on the back.

“What?” I asked. Maybe if I stalled for time he would forget what he asked me, or maybe I could swallow my own tongue. I’d settle for a natural disaster, a small earthquake perhaps, anything to change the topic.

“I heard her on the phone. She called you Helen.”

My brain scrambled around, looking for a good answer. “It’s my great-grandmother’s name.” This answer had the benefit of being true, but the downside of being totally unrelated to what he’d asked me.

“Does your grandma confuse you with your great-grandmother a lot?

I laughed loudly like this was the best joke ever told. My mouth clicked shut when I saw his expression.

“It’s my middle name too and she really likes it.” I chewed on my lip. “You know, grandparents, they’re weird … ” My voice trailed off.

“Well, I better get you back to your car, Helen.”

“Don’t call me that,” I said sharply. My eyes shot over to the corner to make sure Lauren hadn’t heard him. “I mean, it drives me crazy when my grandma does it.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to drive you crazy,” he said, standing up. He walked toward the door and I followed him. Things had been going so well and I blew it by acting like a spaz. We drove back to my car in silence. When we got to the movie theater parking lot I waited a beat in case he wanted to do the arm-stroking thing again, but he kept his hands on the wheel.

“I had a nice time tonight,” I said finally.

“Me too.”

I waited to see if he would say anything else, like that we should do it again, but he just sat there.

“So, thanks for tea and telling me about the movie.”

“They do the classics every Tuesday.”

“Cool.”

“Really? I thought you didn’t like old movies.” Christopher rubbed his chin. “What was it you said? You could take them or leave them?”

“I’m a girl. I’m supposed to change my mind.” I flipped my hair. “Besides, didn’t you tell me that you liked that I didn’t fit into any one category?”

He didn’t say anything. If I could stop acting like Claire and instead act like Helen, I somehow felt sure things would go better. I could admit I loved old movies too, and I wouldn’t always have to be trying to cover things up. Of course, giving up Claire
to go back to Helen would mean giving up getting revenge on Lauren. “I should go,” I said finally.

“See you around.”

I slipped out of his car and into my own. He waited for me to start my engine and then waved before driving off. I sat in the car thinking over the night. It was most likely for the best that he didn’t try to kiss me. After all, I was out for revenge, not a relationship. The universe was going to get confused if I kept changing the goal. The important thing with Christopher was to keep him from Lauren, not to fall for him myself. The point of this year wasn’t to have a relationship with anybody. Although I hadn’t yet achieved the complete and total revenge that I had been hoping for, clearly things were starting to move in the right direction.

In theory I should be thrilled, so it wasn’t clear why I felt like crying.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Bailey and Kyla had potential careers as interrogators for the CIA. Bright lights and a cattle prod were the only things missing from their technique. The questions about my date with Christopher started in French class and continued straight through until lunch. By the time we sat down in the cafeteria every minute of the date had been broken down and we were now moving on to establish motivation.

“So when you held hands, did you take his or did he take yours?” Bailey leaned over the cafeteria table as if we were discussing espionage secrets. “I mean, who started things?”

“Who cares,” Lauren asked, trying to change the subject. She had a smear of lipstick on her teeth. I noticed none of us had mentioned it to her. She wasn’t eating at all, just drinking herbal tea.

“Are you kidding?” Bailey said. “Who took whose hand first is superimportant. It lets you know if he’s taking control of the
relationship or not. You can tell a lot from hand holding.”