Getting Wound Up: A Sapphire Falls/ Love Between the Bases Novel-- PART THREE (2 page)

“Caitlyn, honey, I could use some help in here!” her mother called from the kitchen.

“Be right there, Mom!”

She got Bryan and his chair to the bathroom doorway, but he put his good foot down, stopping the forward motion before she could push him onto the pale-green linoleum that had been there for as long as Caitlyn could remember.

“I’ve got it from here.”

“Bryan, you’re woozy with the drugs.”

“I’ve got it,” he repeated firmly. He hoisted himself out of the chair and balanced with a hand on the bathroom cabinet to his right and the towel rack to his left. “I’m supposed to walk on it.”

She knew that. She knew that the PTs in the hospital had gotten him up and out of bed and walking down the hall with a walker the same day as his surgery. She also knew little eighty-year-old ladies had their hips replaced all the time and walked unassisted within a few days. She’d seen them doing it. But none of them had an added weakness from a spinal cord injury on top of it.

Still, this was Bryan. Her brother. Her very independent, athletic brother. He wasn’t going to let her take him to the toilet unless he was half dead. And then she was pretty sure he’d army crawl there in unbearable pain before he’d let her help him pee.

“Okay, your call,” she said reluctantly. “Yell if you need me.” She took three slow steps backward, waiting for him to come to his senses and ask her to help.

The last thing she saw was his gritted teeth in the mirror over the sink as he took his first cautious step.

“Idiot,” she muttered under her breath.

But she would have felt the same way if she’d been there all the times he’d gone parasailing or launched himself over a crazy-steep bike ramp or climbed up the face of a mountain. So, this really wasn’t all that new except that she had a front row seat for his stupidity now.

She headed into the kitchen, where her mother was staring at the inside of the fridge. “What’s wrong, Mom?”

“We’re completely out of relish. We can’t roast hotdogs without relish.”

“I’ll add it to my shopping list,” Caitlyn said gently. “Anything else?”

She couldn’t see her mother’s face, hidden as it was behind the open refrigerator door. But she thought her shoulders might be shaking. “Are you okay?”

The door swung closed and Maggie Murray turned to face her, a bright smile plastered to her face. Caitlyn knew that smile. It was the same one she wore when Dad left for one of his sales trips. The brave, ‘we can handle this’ smile. “Just fine, honey.”

For a moment Caitlyn wanted to scream.
It’s not fine! Stop lying to yourself!
But she remembered Bryan’s words about hope. She couldn’t take that hope away, because she didn’t know what her mother would have left without it.

On the other hand, maybe she did know.

Having no hope basically sucked. It was a pit in her stomach and a lump in her throat and a general feeling of wrongness, like leaving the sugar out of a batch of caramels.

Eli must hate her by now. She’d left Kilby without saying so much as “thanks for the tour and for all the mind-blowing sex.”

She was pretty much a human knuckleball.

With her mother busy compiling the rest of the shopping list, Caitlyn went back to the bathroom. Bryan was propped against the sink washing his hands. He looked a lot more alert now.

“No more painkillers,” he told her.

She pushed the wheelchair through the doorway so it was closer. “Fine. Can I have them?”

He shook his head at her. “Am I that bad?”

“Oh God, no.” She put her arms around him and rested her cheek against his back. “I didn’t mean it that way.

“Mom driving you crazy?”

“She’s okay. You know what I thought about just now in the kitchen?”

Bryan turned to face her, drying his hands on the extra-nice lace-edged guest towel Mom had put out for him. “What?”

“I remembered all the times Dad left her behind while he went off to convince hospitals to stock up on antacids or whatever. I used to watch from the living room when he left. She’d help him load up his samples and travel bag. She’d hand him his briefcase. He’d give her a nice long kiss, then bound into the car like he was super-excited to be off on his adventure. She’d watch the car until it went around the corner. Then she’d put her shoulders back and march into the kitchen. I’d race to get there before she did, in case she was sad. She always said the same thing, ‘Well, there’s only one thing to do when it’s just me and you. What should we make this time?’ And then we’d bake something. I really think that’s why I got into confectionery.”

“Because of Mom?”

“Because I saw how baking made her feel better. But just now I realized that she’s spent her whole life putting on a happy face while Dad was gone. She had to, for us. That’s just what you do, you know? You carry on like everything’s normal. So your kids can have a happy, normal life.”

A shadow fell over Bryan’s face. He took the two steps to his chair, limping, but without any assistance, and eased into the chair. “I’m guessing this isn’t exactly what she had in mind.”

She wheeled him into the living room. “That’s not what I mean, Bryan. What is normal, anyway? It means different things to different people. Like, what’s normal for a teacher isn’t normal for a…New York City cabdriver. What’s normal for an accountant isn’t normal for a…”

“Baseball player.”

She stopped short, catching her foot on the pile of the carpet. “Sure. Baseball player. For example.”

“Something happened with you and Eli, didn’t it?”

“It’s complicated.” She hurried the chair the rest of the way to the couch, then offered her arm so he could brace himself while he transferred his weight to the cushions.

“He called me after the surgery.”

Chills rippled through her. “That was nice of him.”

“He asked how you were. As if he had no idea. You should have heard his voice. Poor guy is eating his heart out over you.”

“What did you say?”

“The hell if I remember. Freaking painkillers.”

She helped him swing his legs into position, then tucked a blanket around him. He lay back, exhausted by the effort of a trip to the bathroom. “Well, if you talk to him again, tell him I’m fine.”

“Sure. Just like the rest of the family. We’re all fine.” He gave a tired laugh. “Maybe if you say it enough, it’ll be true. Then again, maybe I should tell him you asked for a hit of my painkillers.”

“Don’t you dare.” She held up his earbuds. “iPod or sleep?”

“Neither. Truth. What’s going on, Cait? After Ty and I did all that hard matchmaking work, did you screw things up with Eli?”

“
What?
You did not.”

“Sure did. Twice. Kansas City, then Kilby. Getting you two together took a lot of highway miles.”

“You two idiots should mind your own business. I can handle my own love life.” Caitlyn backed away before she did something stupid, like burst into tears. Because seriously, it was incredibly sweet that two guys’ guys like Ty and Bryan would care about her romantic problems.

Former
romantic problems.

After all, you couldn’t have romantic problems without a romance. And she’d pretty much put an end to any chance of that.

“So let me get this straight,” Bryan called after her. “You get to wait on me hand and foot, bake me goodies and help me take a piss, but I have to stay out of the mess you’ve made of your love life?”

“Yes,” she managed. “That’s right.”

“Have you forgotten where we live? This is Sapphire Falls, sis. Good luck keeping anyone out of your business. Especially your quasi-paraplegic brother who has nothing better to do. And by the way, Eli is my friend. Have you forgotten that?”

Her eyes went wide as she stared at him in horror. Oh sweet lord. She
had
forgotten…well, not really…but for all intents and purposes. She’d been thinking of Eli as
hers
. Her dilemma. Her problem. Her mess. She hadn’t thought about how her actions would affect Bryan.

“I’ll…I’ll call him.”

“Yeah. You do that.” Bryan grumpily settled himself deeper into the cushions of the couch. “Little sisters, I swear to God. You have to do everything for them.”

Caitlyn bit her lip to hide her laughter, and hurried out of the room.

She had to call Eli. She had to explain the unexplainable. Hope he’d forgive the unforgiveable. All without getting her own heart ripped apart just by the sound of his voice. How was she going to pull this off?

When Caitlyn’s number flashed on Eli’s phone, he thought his heart might drop right through his stomach. The team was in Reno getting ready to play the Aces. They’d completed batting practice and were due out on the field for the National Anthem in about five minutes. But there was no way he was going to wait for an entire game before hearing her voice.

“Hi Eli.” Her light, slightly husky voice brought back a rush of memories. The moans she made right before she came. Her laughter as she teased him on the drive to Kansas City. The sweetness of her “I love you” in the booth at
Scoop
.

“Hi Caitlyn.”

“I…um…I’m sorry I haven’t…” She stammered.

He went cold. Nothing in her voice indicated good news or happiness about talking to him. She sounded sad and regretful, and like she’d rather be doing anything else than calling him. He cut her off. “How’s Bryan?”

“He’s a lot less fun now that he stopped taking the painkillers. So much YouTube material, you can’t even imagine.”

He laughed, although it took everything in him to sound normal. “Remember when he got his wisdom teeth out and spent the rest of the day saying how much he loved us?” The word “love” felt like a punch in the teeth, so he hurried onwards. “He kept saying ‘Sapphire Falls forever’ over and over again, remember that?”

“Yup, that’s my tough guy brother.”

“Must be a good sign that he went off the drugs.”

“Yes, I think so. Either that or he was worried about pictures of his slobber ending up on Facebook.”

He forced a laugh. Honestly, he had no idea he was such a good actor. “Gotta go, Cait. Everyone’s heading onto the field.”

“Are you starting?”

“Nope, I pitched yesterday. Third consecutive win.”

“That’s so great, Eli!” Her enthusiasm felt like a sword slicing him open. For a short time, he’d thought she was with him. Body and soul, heart and mind. Now she was…well, what she’d always been. A friend. Cheerleader. Candy-girl.

“Bye, Caitlyn.”

“Bye, Eli.”

He ended the call and viciously tossed his phone into his gear bag. He finished putting on his cleats and jogged down the tunnel that led to the dugout. The chatter of the crowd mingled with the hollow tones of the organ, the calls of vendors selling peanuts, the lively voice of Donna MacIntyre working the crowd.

He loved this baseball life. Every moment felt like a bonus, something he never thought he’d experience.

He barely made it onto the field for the National Anthem. As he stepped back into the dugout, Duke Ellington, the manager, caught his eye. He was a barrel-chested former catcher who’d been bouncing around baseball since the ’80s. Eli stepped over to join him near the big fan that was stirring the overheated air around the dugout. The whir of the blades kept him from being overheard.

“Want you to know, the Friars front office is impressed. Solo gave them a good report. I’ve been telling them the same thing, but they like hearing from their players too.”

“Thank you,” Eli answered, trying to hold back the huge grin that threatened to take over his face.

“You can smile, kid. It’s allowed.”

Obediently, he smiled. He usually tried to maintain a stoic expression in the stadium, even when he wasn’t pitching. He figured the less emotion he showed, the harder to read he’d be. It seemed to be working.

“I think you’re ready for the Show, but you tell me. Are you ready?”

“I’m ready.” Because that’s what you said when a manager asked that question. No hesitation.

Duke squinted at the field, where Jim Lieberman, batting leadoff, was stepping into the batter’s box. “You seem like a humble guy. Hard worker. What they call a lunch pail player.”

Geez, that didn’t sound very exciting. “Okay.”

“We need more of that these days. In my time, guys like you were the heart of the team. They came in, got the job done, and went home. There wasn’t all this Instabooking and Twitting and Slap-chatting and so forth. Did you know an umpire kicked a rookie pitcher off the field for bringing one of them selfie sticks on the mound?” He shook his head. “You’re more of a nuts and bolts guy.”

Literally. Eli allowed himself another small smile. “I did run a hardware store back in Nebraska.”

“Well, there you go. Major League Baseball’s ready for someone like you. Heartland, small town, good looking. Single?”

Eli considered that for a moment. A week ago, he would have considered himself off the market. Today? Well, his heart was spoken for, but… “I’m not married.”

“No girlfriend stashed in your apartment? What about the bacon girl?”